Chapter 22

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Jungkook was staring up at the ceiling. It was white but had a bunch of weird lines running over it.

His eyes followed one of them into the corner where he noticed a spiderweb. Maybe it was just because the room was spinning but it looked like the spider was moving around a lot... maybe it was killing its prey. An innocent insect that had accidentally gotten caught up in its web.

Jungkook related a lot more than he wanted to. He turned to the side to look at Eunji, who was lying on the floor next to him, typing on her phone. She was probably texting a friend or another boy she had started talking to on Instagram like she always did.

"You wanna know what's the worst thing about this whole situation?" Jungkook slurred, just for a second forgetting what he had even wanted to say before remembering again.

Eunji turned into his direction, blinking tiredly. "What?"

Jungkook looked back up at the ceiling. "I think I might like Taehyung even though I feel like he's going to kill me."

Next to him Eunji chuckled, shaking her head. "Of course you do. You always fall for the ones that will break your heart. I see a pattern there."

Jungkook sighed. This was not what he had meant. He didn't like Taehyung that way... he just kind of liked him and that was actually going to get him killed at some point.

Yawning he sat up. The second he did the room around him started spinning even worse, but he couldn't let himself be stopped. "I'll call an uber. I need to get home."

Eunji groaned, rolling onto her side. "Nooo, stay. We haven't seen one another in way too long and now you want to leave right away. Just stay the night."

Jungkook shook his head, almost losing his balance when he tried to get up. "I have to get home. Taehyung will be annoyed if I don't."

If he'd only be annoyed Jungkook wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

"So he'll get annoyed when you're gone too long? Can't stand when you leave him alone for a bit?" Eunji wiggled her eyebrows and Jungkook jokingly threatened to step on her face, to which she quickly rolled up into a ball, squealing.

"I'm leaving. I'll try to respond more often again. The last month has just been stressful with everything happening."

Eunji nodded. "It's alright. Don't worry about it."

Talking to her had felt good. For the first time during this last month or two he had had the chance to let off some steam... and now that he had he felt a little better. The situation still sucked, but ranting about how much of an asshole Taehyung was for the last three hours... had brought him some relief.

He no longer felt like he was just bottling up all his anger, frustration and fears and instead had finally gotten the chance to let them out.

Not being able to talk to anyone at all just had been awful. He had felt so alone in this situation. Like he couldn't even ask for someone's advice. He had thought he had to do all of this alone... but now he no longer felt like that was the case entirely.

He could ask Jimin or go to Eunji to complain about Taehyung.

And while he still was angry at Taehyung for what had happened the day before... he no longer felt overwhelmed by those emotions. He wasn't willing to go back to acting like everything was okay just yet... but maybe, if he just got a little more time, he'd manage to act like everything was okay soon.

"Get home well." Eunji waved at Jungkook, not bothering to get up. She probably was too drunk to do it anyways.

"I will." Jungkook promised leaving the room. God, he was drunk. He felt lightheaded and dizzy and had the strong urge to just lie down and rest his eyes because the day had been long and he felt exhausted.

But he didn't, instead calling an uber before slipping into his clothes and leaving the building.

It didn't take long to get from Eunji's to his place. He checked if Jimin had sent him another message but there was nothing. Maybe he'd be alone tonight... he sure hoped so. He didn't want to see Taehyung.

After all he was still fucking pissed and he knew seeing the siren certainly wouldn't help. He couldn't get angry at Taehyung again because it was fucking dangerous... so Jungkook just didn't want to see him too soon.

Even if Jimin had told him Taehyung didn't mean to scare him. Taehyung wasn't stupid. He could think but he had zero respect for Jungkook so he just didn't. And that annoyed Jungkook. Of course in addition to the fact that he was just a huge asshole towards Jungkook.

He was walking on thin ice with Taehyung and he hated it.

Sighing he opened the door to his apartment. Like expected and to his relief Taehyung wasn't back yet.

Now, Jungkook could have been a rational person and gone to bed like he had originally planned. But he was way too awake and he wanted to make good use of the last few hours of peace he had, so instead he mixed himself another drink (with a little too much alcohol because his hand slipped) and switched on the TV.

For the first time in more than a month he felt safe in his own apartment. Just how fucked up was that? Jungkook no longer felt safe at his own apartment when Taehyung was here.

He knew he was getting too drunk when he was halfway through his drink and he could no longer read the time off his phone. But at least he felt pretty good. The buzz of the alcohol cleared his head from all his worries. The fear.

The thought of Taehyung returning and everything going back to normal.

And as if to make fun of him, as if his life was just one giant joke, the doorbell rang. Jungkook knew who it was. And it made him want to just close his eyes and curl up on the couch... he didn't want to open the door for Taehyung.

Let him inside the apartment like nothing had happened at all. Like it was okay.

But Jungkook's life was on the line and he didn't have the option to keep the door closed. So instead he got up from the sofa. He was fucking wasted. The room was spinning even worse than before and Jungkook wasn't even sure if he was going to remember this tomorrow. Part of him hoped he could just delete the last couple of days or even months off his mind, but that wouldn't happen.

"Welcome back." Jungkook's tone was flat as he opened the door for Taehyung. He was wearing one of Jungkook's t-shirts and a pair of jeans that were sticking to his body because he clearly had put them on while still wet. His hair was drenched too, hanging into his eyes.

Jungkook could feel the familiar sense of mesmerization wash over him when he saw Taehyung's face. Just a day and Jungkook had almost forgotten the effect the sharp eyes and soft lines of Taehyung's features had on him...

But Jungkook could also feel the anger creep up at him at how innocent Taehyung looked. His face... his expression... it all made it seem like he had done nothing wrong.

Not bothering to say anything else or wait for Taehyung to maybe say something he walked back into his living room. Taehyung could come inside on his own.

He pressed the play button, the show he had been watching before continuing, but his head simply tuned out the voices. Instead he listened to the door close and the following steps towards his room. Like in a horror movie.

He didn't turn his head when Taehyung entered the room nor when he sat down on the sofa next to him. Jungkook was fucking tense. Tense because Taehyung was back and he was drunk and he felt like he was going to explode any second, but he couldn't. Couldn't because if he did Taehyung would get mad again.

Fuck. Jungkook felt like crying. He was just so exhausted and frustrated. Why was this happening to him? Why the fuck did this have to happen to him? What had he done to deserve this?

"Jungkook..." He could feel something cold touch his arm. Taehyung's fingers.

Before he could think Jungkook swatted his hand away. He could see the way Taehyung tensed up... the way his eyes lost their iris, the skin of his hands changing color again. Jungkook should have felt scared. Scared because he had just hit Taehyung, even if it had just been his hand.

Scared because Taehyung could kill him just like this. But Jungkook was tired, scared, angry and frustrated and he didn't want this anymore. He hated this dynamic. Constantly having to hold back around Taehyung.

He was sick of it. So if Taehyung was going to kill him because of this, all fucking right. At least Jungkook would no longer have to deal with this. To put up with Taehyung.

"Don't. Touch. Me." He gritted out, his heart racing in his chest. He expected Taehyung to jump him any second now. Slit his throat with his claws or maybe even tear it out with his teeth...

For a few seconds tense silence filled the room. Jungkook could hear his own heartbeat in his ears as he stared into Taehyung's seemingly bottomless eyes... Taehyung was glaring at him. Clearly tense from the fact that Jungkook had done so much as dare to touch him.

Jungkook would have loved to laugh. Taehyung had touched him more times than he could count already and more than enough times hurt Jungkook while doing so. But now that Jungkook was treating him with the same attitude he had he was getting angry.

Who would have thought.

Honestly Jungkook expected to die. He'd been lucky, that one time he had almost stabbed Taehyung with a knife, that Taehyung hadn't killed him then and there... but Jungkook had dared to attack Taehyung again.

But Jungkook didn't die. Not in the first second and neither after five seconds of staring at Taehyung. Taehyung didn't put his claws around Jungkook's throat either... or hiss at him. Although he did look like he wanted to for the first few seconds. But then Taehyung's expression once again relaxed a little as he moved back.

Away from the spot where Jungkook was sitting. Still on the sofa, but at least a meter away now.

Jungkook couldn't believe he had survived that.

"I can't take this anymore." Jungkook's voice was shaky. "I hate this so much." He could feel the exhaustion and the alcohol set in now that his body realized he wasn't going to die. He felt even more tired than before.

He felt so dizzy and tired he just wanted to lie down and cry. He really hated this. He hated having Taehyung here. Hated all the mixed feelings.

"A human can only take so much. You're a fucking asshole, constantly threatening to kill me, but at the same time asking me to act like you're normal. You know how much that messes with my head?" Jungkook could feel tears gather in his eyes and tried to swallow them down but it didn't help at all.

It just made more tears come out. He pitied himself so much for everything that had happened. He didn't want this anymore. Why couldn't it just stop? Why did he have to think about it so much?

"I fucking hate you. I'm scared I'll die the second I do something that might mildly upset you and it doesn't matter what I am feeling. Just how many nightmares I've had of you finally deciding that maybe drowning me after all would be fun. Just how many times I've wanted to punch you in the face to provoke you to finally kill me."

Jungkook could no longer see anything because of both the mix of tears and the drunken dizziness he had fought with the whole time. He felt disoriented but he didn't need to see Taehyung. He was sure he was wearing his usual emotionless expression anyways.

"I can't take it anymore." Jungkook's voice broke. "I fucking wish you were just gone. That you'd just leave me alone and disappear."

Jungkook could feel the urge to cry clog up his throat. He could barely talk properly anymore. "Why can't you just leave me alone. I've been trying, okay? I tried to be nice to you. I fucking tried to do what you wanted and give you a good time here. I tried to treat you like a normal person, but I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore."

Jungkook dropped his head against the sofa because he was dizzy. The room was spinning so he closed his eyes. He could feel the tears running down his cheeks, but he ignored them.

He could have opened his eyes to watch Taehyung's reaction, but he didn't want to. Didn't want to see another emotionless expression. Jungkook didn't need to be reminded of how inhuman Taehyung was even more.

"I hate you so much." Jungkook could barely speak as his throat closed up. "I don't want to die..."

Jungkook felt sick. Maybe because of how overwhelmed he felt or maybe it was just the alcohol he had consumed, but he wanted to throw up. He would have liked to get up and empty his stomach into the toilet... but his limbs were too heavy.

He was exhausted. He no longer wanted to get up.

He also didn't want to think. Didn't want to realize that what he was saying to Taehyung right now might make the siren hate him even more. Might make him kill Jungkook.

He should have apologized for being so rude... should have said anything.

But because Taehyung was dead silent Jungkook didn't feel like he had to. Taehyung hadn't killed him yet so maybe Jungkook hadn't overstepped his boundaries completely. Or maybe Taehyung was just feeling generous and that was why he didn't kill Jungkook as he was just lying there.

Throat bare... this easy to slit up.

Feeling completely drained and exhausted Jungkook could feel himself drift off. His mind wandering somewhere else because he had a hard time focusing on the reality around him when everything was black.

He was probably just imagining the warm hand hesitantly touching his shoulder. Just like the way it soothingly rubbed over Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook knew he must have imagined it because Taehyung had never touched him softly. All he ever did was treat Jungkook like a disposable thing. His touches were never careful.

Jungkook was already half asleep when he felt something lift his body up. He would have opened his eyes to see what was happening, but his eyelids were too heavy. So he just sighed, leaning into the warm body holding him up... and finally drifted off completely to the soft scent of salt and ocean.

A/N

This chapter was really fun to write for some reason?

What about you guys? Did you like it?

Do you feel for Jungkook or is he being dramatic? I'm curious💕