{Alex}

I MOVED WITHOUT thinking, going on autopilot while my mind shut down and restarted. Vaguely, in an almost out-of-body way, I was aware of rushing around the apartment, packing while Jack tried to keep up, asking questions. I knew I should stop and explain everything to him--deserved that, at the very least--but I was too busy dealing with the fact that he was here.

I had given my raper thought, of course. How could I not? But even in my darkest nightmares, I hadn't feared him coming back, running into me--and in my apartment complex, no less... I could feel my skin crawl with revulsion at the mere thought of him.

I was solidly locked in my own mind, until something that Jack said snapped me out of it.

"Why are you afraid of Mr. O'Connor?"

I whirled, facing him. "You know his name?"

"Yes, we've met once or twice. Now tell me," he said, grabbing my hand and holding my still for a moment before I slipped out of his grasp, "what is going on?"

"Mr. O'Connor," I hissed, "is the fucktard who Turned me."

The look on his face as he backed away was priceless, and had I been anyone else, anywhere else, any other time, I would've burst out laughing, but I was me, now, here, and it was all I could do to not pass out on the spot.

"What? But... But Mr. O'Connor is so... nice. How could he have done anything like that?"

"I don't know," I snapped, "Why don't you go ask him, since you're such good friends?"

He recoiled at the venom in my voice, but I couldn't bring myself to feel bad. I had trusted Jack, had let him in, and the whole time he was being friendly with the man who single-handedly ruined my life.

He didn't know, Lila defended, but even she was shaking, her flimsy excuse tissue paper in a hurricane of emotions. I was looking around for the next thing to pack, the next thing that was necessary, and realized I was done. Hysterical laughter nearly bubbled out, but I fought it back, biting hard on my lip.

When did I know start to live so sparsely? I have dozens of books, but everything I really need can fit in one backpack.

Jack was sitting in the corner, watching me carefully, calculatingly. I think he had enough sense to know that now was not the time for calming speeches, and for just a moment, my love for him overshadowed everything else. For a moment, I couldn't believe I had been so lucky--lucky enough to find a guy who understood me, completely.

Then I was back to being pissed as hell.

"Alex," Jack said slowly, "I know you want to leave, and if you're willing, I'll go with you in a heartbeat. But... Are you sure you don't want to stay and face him? Maybe it's time to stop running."

I froze, any thoughts of destinations--Fiji sounds nice this time of year--were eclipsed from my mind. All I could see was big brown eyes, looking at me worriedly, a blue scarf around a teenage girl's neck, her voice echoing across my brain: "Alex, it's time to stop running. Whatever happened, you can tell us." All I could feel was the nods of the others near her--the girls I had once called my best friends.

All I could feel was the heartbreak after no one believed me about what I heard the Shadow Man say that night--impossible stories, about wolves and humans, and the kind of monsters who aren't content to stay under your bed.

"Alex? Are you okay?"

"I'm really sure I want to leave."

My voice sounded stiff, even to me.

"Alright. I just wanted to make sure you were certain. After all, you seemed pretty adamant about not leaving college."

He had just played his trump card, and played it well, but I wasn't swayed. I'd lose money--so what? If I stayed, the man who--

I stopped myself. Mr. O'Connor. The first step to defeating your demons is giving them a name, and Jack had done that for me.

But a name wasn't enough, and if I stayed, Mr. O'Connor would rip everything away from my life again--I had seen it in his eyes, in the way he stood, like a wolf stalking... well, another wolf.

I nodded absently. We needed to leave. In the background, Jack sighed in frustration, but I didn't pay any attention.

"Why are you letting him do this? This is your home."

"Yeah, it is. And before this, it was a small town outside Houston, and he took it from me, so I'll be damned if I let him rip me away from here, too."

"He turned you Were, Alex. He did a horrible thing, and he should never be forgiven, but don't forget that you wouldn't be where you are now without him. Turn this into a strength."

"You don't understand!" I screamed. There was silence for a moment, silence so thick and heavy that I thought the world might implode with it.

"You don't understand." This time it was a mutter, barely audible. I pulled a book off the shelf, opening a page at random, needing something to look at. "He took everything from me."

"You... you don't mean..."

Another kind of silence filled the room, this one somehow far more destructive. I wanted to speak and disappear at the same time, for the words to unfall from my clumsy mouth. I tried to focus on the book, but my eyes were too blurry.

I wondered if I should get glasses, then if I would be the first werewolf to need them. Another hysterical laugh tried and failed to escape, and my fingers were clenched so tightly around the pages that I might have ripped them.

On some subconscious level, I knew this was not an emotionally healthy situation, but let's face it--I hadn't been emotionally healthy in a long, long time.