You and Kieth decided to go to a park and chill on a bench listening to music. He brought a headphone splitter so you can both listen to music through your own earbuds.

"You close your eyes when you listen to music," Kieth says. The song playing is "The Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy. You open your eyes and look Kieth. He looks amused.

"Really?" You joke. "I hadn't noticed."

"Pfft." Kieth rolls his eyes. "I'm just saying it's cute."

You blush. "Oh-tha-thanks."

Kieth gives you a sly smile and you close your eyes again.

The peace lasts for a while. The sun sets in the distance, something you hardly notice behind your eyelids. Some of the songs you pick out as your favorite from Kieth's playlist are "Wherever I Go" by One Republic, "Point of Extinction" by... you actually don't know, and "I Don't Care" by Fall Out Boy.

"It's getting dark," Kieth says after a while, pausing the music. "You gotta get back home soon."

"I don't wanna go back yet," you say. "Just a little longer?"

Kieth laughs and unpauses the music again. He turns it down so you can hear each other. "You just love my presence," he says. "I must be amazing."

"In your dreams nerd." You punch Kieth's arm. He gasps and grabs it. "Hey-"

"It's nice," you say. "Being outside this late. Instead of in my room."

Kieth nods, rubbing his arm sorely. "I feel the same," he says. "I don't like being holed up in my room so much."

You look at him. "You? I figured you'd have friends to hang out with all the time."

"Not this late," Kieth says. "It's almost nine."

"That's not late."

"Ah. Well then I guess that means my friends are also nerds."

"You are what you eat," you joke. Kieth gasps dramatically. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? I'm gay??? I didn't know I was gay."

You giggle loudly and you can't stop. "Shhhh," Kieth says, trying not to laugh himself. "Just listen to the song."

You nod and your laughter dies down right as the song changes. When it does, you listen intently to the new beat. It starts kind of quiet and chill. And then the artist starts singing:

"You took my hand, you showed me how. You promised me you'd be around. Uh-huh. That's right.
I took your words and I believed. In everything you said to me. Yeah-huh. That's right."

You hardly notice as these lyrics pass, but then the chorus plays and you're struck so hard by each and every word.

"If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, cause they're all wrong. I know better. Cause you said forever, and ever, who knew?"

It hurts like a punch to the gut and you have to open your eyes and stare at the ground in front of the bench.

"Remember when we were such fools, and so convinced and just too cool. Oh no. No no.
I wish I could touch you again. I wish I could still call you friend. I'd give, anything.

When someone said count your blessings now, b'fore they're long gone I guess I just didn't know how. I was all wrong. They knew better. Still you said forever and ever, who knew?"

Tears rise to your eyes. Your chest hurts. Your throat is dry. Your nose twitches.

"I keep you locked in my head
Until we meet again.
Until we
Until we meet again.

And I won't forget you my friend
What happened?"

You fight the tears back. You don't want to listen anymore. You look at anything and everything, trying to stop thinking about him.

"If someone said three years from now, you'd be long gone, I'd stand up and punch them out, cause they're all wrong.
That last kiss
I'll cherish
Until we meet again.
And time makes
It harder.
I wish I could remember.
But I keep
Your memory.
You visit me in my sleep.
My darling,
Who knew?"

You can't take it anymore. You can't fight it. You burst into tears.

You can't live without knowing he is okay.

"Y/n? Y/n are you okay?"

Kieth pulls out your earbuds and places his hands on your shoulders comfortingly. "Y/n?"

You sniffle, gasping for breath. "I-I-I'm sorry," you cry. "I-I don't kn-know what came o-over me."

"Hey, what happened? Are you okay?"

"I want him to come b-back."

Kieth furrows his eyebrows. "Who?" He asks. "Who do you want to come back?"

"Jimin!"

•••

Kieth opens the door to your house and guides you inside. You can't stop crying. You thought you could calm down by now, but you can't. The tears and the sobs keep coming.

It's been nine and a half months, Y/n, why are you so weak? Stop crying.

No matter how angry you are at yourself, you can't calm your tears.

Mom rushes into the room. "Oh my god, what happened?"

Kieth rubs your back soothingly and urges you toward your mother. "I don't know," he says, sounding worried. "We were listening to music and maybe the lyrics got to her? She said something about a- what's his name..."

"...Jimin?"

You step closer to your mother and let her envelop you in her arms. "M-Mom it hurts," you sob. "It's-it's coming back."

Mom rubs your back soothingly. "I'm gonna take her upstairs," she says. "You don't have to leave right now if you don't want."

Kieth doesn't speak as your mother brings you up the stairs. Lily opens her door at all the commotion and when she sees you, immediately comes forward and takes you from your mom. "I'll take care of this."

Mom lets Lily take you. She goes back downstairs as Lily opens your door and lets you into your room. She follows close behind. Only once you're situated on your bed, and Lily wraps her arms around you, and you're enfolded in warmth and love, you begin to calm down.

"Shh," Lily says. She did this many times during the month Jimin was sent away, and it comes back naturally now, a long time later. "I'm here," she murmurs.

You gasp for breath and try to speak. "I-I want him to come back," you sob. "I miss him so mu-much."

"Hey," Lily strokes your hair. "Just let it all out okay?"

"It's been almost te-ten months!" You cry out between hiccups. "He's still in a coma. I don't kn-know it he'll wake up or if-if he's okay, or if he's e-even going to live.

"It-it hurts so much. Everywhere I go, I think a-about him. He's always th-there in my mind. I try to ig-ignore it and be happy but I can't. He-He was everything to me, Lily, and I-I lost him."

Lily strokes your back as you dump out everything on your mind.

"His-His parents didn't care about him so what if they pull the plug? What-what if they- what if they let him d-" You can't breathe. You don't want it to be true. "What if he's de-dead right now?"

"I don't think he's dead," Lily murmurs. "Namjoon's friend checked on him a week and a half ago. And if his parents wanted to let him die, they wouldn't have waited for ten months to do it. Here-" Lily grabs your phone from your hoodie pocket, then messes around with it for a moment.

"There," she says softly. "I texted Namjoon. He'll answer soon and tell you how Jimin is doing."

"Lily, I want him back," you say. Your sobs slowly die out and are replaced by hiccups and shaky breathing. "I want him back so bad."

"I know," Lily says. "I know." Her voice sounds pained. As if she misses him too.

"And-and I hate how weak I am," you continue. "It happened a long time ago. I shouldn't be this sensitive still."

"It doesn't matter how long ago it was," Lily says. "Because what you had was real. It's the stuff you find in fairytales."

"Fairytales don't end like this."

Lily sighs. "You're not weak, Y/n," she says. "Okay? I miss him too."

You sniffle. Maybe she's right. Maybe you're not weak. You were in love. You still are. You would give anything to have Jimin back again. You would sell your soul to turn back time and prevent every bad thing from happening to him. You would give yourself away completely just to hear his voice again. See his smile. Feel his hands and his heartbeat.

You will never find anyone quite like him. No one else will be able to love you like that. No one else will be able to make you feel happy like he did. And for as long as he's gone, you won't know what to do with yourself.

You have no aim. No purpose. No direction to go.

"Can I be alone?" You mumble. Lily pulls away from the hug and looks at you seriously. "Are you sure? Will you be okay?"

You nod. "M'gonna sleep. I'm so tired."

Lily nods and kisses your forehead, then stands up and leaves the room. Then she comes back a moment later. "Kieth is still here. I can hear him and momma talking. What should I say to him?"

You sigh. You didn't mean to bring Kieth into this. You know he likes you, and you don't want to hurt him accidentally- you really don't. You feel bad for him.

"Just... tell him I'm sorry. And that I'll talk to him again soon. And tell him thank you for bringing me home," you say. "I'll probably text him later."

Lily nods and then leaves again, closing the door behind her softly. Your room drowns in darkness. You sit there, shaking, empty on the inside. You didn't want to admit it before, but now you have come to the realization that you are nothing without Jimin, and you can't do anything about that.

You're not healing. Your wounds are only cutting deeper.

You need to find him.

A light illuminates your room. A notification. You reach over and grab your phone. It's probably Kieth wondering if you're okay. He's nice like that. He doesn't care what happened. He cares about you.

Like Jimin.

You tap your phone screen to turn it on and look at the notification. It's not Kieth. It's Namjoon.

You inhale sharply and open the message quickly.

Namjoon

Hey it's Lily. Y/n's going through it again. Have you or Miji visited Jimin recently?

No Miji is still on vacation with her wife right now and I can't leave Seoul but the last time she checked the hospital he seemed fine

You sigh.

After... it happened back in December last year, Mikey gave you Jimin's phone so you could text his friends and tell them what happened. You had to take time to translate all the names in his contacts. Mikey stayed with you the whole time to help.

Anyway, the contact you chose to text was Taehyung, because you remembered when Jimin told you that he was his best friend. He seemed confused for most of the time because he couldn't understand your googled translations and he didn't know it wasn't Jimin texting him.

After he figured it out, he invited his friend Namjoon over and called you and Mikey. Namjoon knows English, so you got it all sorted out.

After that, Namjoon decided he wouldn't leave you alone and asked you for your number. He was so kind to you for the entire dark period you had.

He sends you another text.

Namjoon

Do you want to call? I'm here if you need me

That would be nice

Within a second, Namjoon calls you.

And you answer.

:(

Thank you so much again PurpleMistArmy for designing my cover again!!

Have a great day/night!<3

-L