He's so pretty :)

I wouldn't say this is really a chapter, but I feel like it's been so long since I've updated, so here's some sort of filler so you don't get bored waiting. I may or may not keep this in or add on to it, so read it while you can and I'll try to get back to this soon.

Jimin

Jimin wakes up to Y/n's sleepy murmuring.

"No no no," she mutters, and when Jimin realizes that she is asleep, he knows she is in the middle of a nightmare.

She sleep-talks a lot lately- at least, when Jimin is awake to witness it.

Jimin pushes himself off of her chest and props his arms on either side of her to sit up. There are tears streaming down her face.

What is she dreaming about?

Jimin sits up on his knees on either side of her hips and cups her face to wipe her tears away with his thumbs.

"It's okay," he murmurs. He wonders if she can hear him in her sleep. Can he calm her down without waking her up?

"No no no no!" Y/n murmurs. "Not okay!" She grabs his wrist and holds on tight.

"Y/n," Jimin tries to pull his wrist out of her grasp but her grip is too tight. He shakes her head gently between his hands to wake her up. "Let me go."

The tears on her face only fall harder.

"N-no!"

"Y/n!" Jimin says, a bit louder.

"N-no- Chim-"

"Y/n!"

Her eyes fly wide open.

She pushes him away harshly and sits up, startling him with the amount of force she uses. Her gaze drops from his face to his chest, which is still bare.

"It-its gone," she murmurs, shaking all over. Her breathing gets heavier and heavier as she stares at his chest with tear-filled eyes. "It's- it's not there-"

Jimin glances down at his bare chest, where his scar is, then looks back up at her, eyebrows furrowed. "What's gone?"

Y/n's face crumples and she starts gasping for breath, talking at the same time.

"The-the ho- the blood-" she stammers- "there's no- it's gone- there's no more- no- it's just a-"

"Hey hey hey, you're hyperventilating," Jimin says, feeling increasingly more alarmed. "Come here." He opens his arms for her and she hurriedly scoots closer to him and accepts his hug. She can't seem to catch her breath.

"Y/n, hey, it's alright," Jimin says. He takes her hands and rests them on his shoulders, then pulls her into his lap and circles his arms around her quaking body.

She must've had another nightmare about him dying.

Nightmares like that seem to be on popular demand for her.

"You're okay," Jimin murmurs. "I'm okay. We're both okay."

"I-I'm so sick of these stupid dreams!" Y/n sobs. She tucks her face into his neck and wraps her arms tightly around him. 

"I know," Jimin says softly, holding her as close and as tight as he can. "I know."

"Whe-when will they ever stop?"

"I don't know," Jimin murmurs. "But they will. You just have to give it time."

"I-I don't wanna give it time I just-" Y/n sniffles and lowers her voice. "I just want it all to stop." Her voice is weak now and quivery.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm right here," Jimin whispers in her ear. "You don't have to go back to sleep if you don't want to."

"I-I don't want to."

"I know." He rubs her back up and down slowly. "You know, you're a little difficult to wake up in the middle of a nightmare."

"Oh."

"It's a bit scary," Jimin says. "Maybe you should see a doctor if this keeps happening."

"And what, have them tell me I suffer from PTSD? I already know that," Y/n mutters. "I left my meds in America."

"You suffer from PTSD?"

It's all his fault. Why wouldn't she have PTSD after everything he put her through?

"Yes," She snaps. "Was that too difficult for you to figure out?"

Woah, attitude.

"N-no, sorry." Jimin says, taken aback by the sourness in her voice. "I... I'm sorry."

Y/n looks up with guilty eyes. "No, you didn't- you didn't do anything," she mumbles. "M'sorry. That was mean."

Jimin presses his lips together and pulls her head back into his neck, tangling his fingers in her hair. He isn't sure what to say, so he kisses the top of her head and holds her until she calms down.

"Do you..." she murmurs after a while. "Do you still get nightmares? About..."

That's a funny question to ask. Jimin has nightmares frequently. Why wouldn't he? He just doesn't wake Y/n up. He feels guilty enough with all the other problems he dumps on her.

"All the time," Jimin says. "But I'm used to them."

"How do you deal with them?"

Deal with them? How does he answer that without telling her he loses sleep because he doesn't want to dream more?

"I don't," Jimin says. "I just... acknowledge them and... let them go. Because I know now that they can't hurt me. My parents, I mean."

That's not true. He still feels sometimes that his parents are waiting for him. It's stupid, because that will never happen, but that doesn't stop him from having nightmares.

"You never tell me about your nightmares."

"It doesn't make me feel better to talk about them. But when I wake up and you're there, the fear goes away. So I don't need to talk about them anyway."

She's his dreamcatcher, as cheesy as that is.

"What else do you have nightmares about?"

"Not a whole lot," Jimin says. "I used to have tons of them back in America though. About Sharon, about going back home, about... about you."

"Me?" Y/n lifts her head up and looks Jimin in the eyes. Jimin nods. He had plenty of nightmares about her.

"I wasn't good at making friends until Taehyung," he explains. "So I thought that I would accidentally do something stupid to make you hate me. And then later, when I got over that, I had nightmares about losing you because of Sharon and my parents and... and Gavin."

"And Gavin? You thought I'd leave you for him?"

At one point, yes. He won't say that though because he knows how much she hates Gavin.

"No, I thought he'd hurt you," Jimin says. "And he did." He wishes he was there when things with Gavin got worse. He would have done everything he could to keep him away from her.

"Although," he says. "There was that one time Cassandra called you while I was there and-"

"Yeah I'm still not happy about that," Y/n mutters.

"Okay yeah, that was a bit immature, but so was lying to me about what was happening," Jimin argues.

"Gavin said he would post that picture he had of your scars," Y/n says defensively. "I didn't know how to tell you."

"Okay but how would he have known that you told me? You could have said something when we weren't at school,"

"I didn't know what you would do about it." Y/n pouts and folds her arms. "If you'd do something about it and risk the consequences or wait until we could take care of it."

"Yeah I get that," Jimin murmurs, matching her pout. "But it would have been better than hearing it the way I did over the phone. For a minute there and even for the rest of the day, I was scared you were going to leave me. Because you didn't want me to know."

"Oh," Y/n says. "Well in case you need to hear it, you're like, a hundred times more attractive to me than he ever was. I mean, as soon as you came to our school, I instantly stopped liking him and started liking you."

"That does make me feel better, a little, but..."

Jimin trails off, mind suddenly going blank. Did she just say she-

"But that doesn't really matter anyway," she continues, unaware, "because he-"

"Woah woah woah hold up," Jimin says, interrupting her. "You liked him before me?"

"Heh... uh... is that what I said?" Y/n mumbles, looking away and tracing tiny shapes on his shoulder.

Jimin grins.

He is never going to let her hear the end of this.

"You liked Gavin?"

"That- I didn't- that was long before he- I didn't know he was such an ass."

Jimin bursts into laughter. Y/n turns completely red and glares at him.

"That- that was why I was so mad when he started liking me when you came along," she says defensively, folding her arms across her chest. "Because he was late and had like, a whole year to pay attention to me before you."

"I can't believe you liked Gavin," Jimin chortles. "He really did have a chance against me didn't he?"

"Well no," Y/n says, softening her glare. "He really didn't. And I told you, when I saw you his chances were over. And he did try to come and get me, remember? I turned him down. Multiple times."

Jimin calms down from his laughing fit and looks at Y/n with tears in his eyes. He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand, out of breath from laughing so hard.

"Dang," he says. "Lucky me that was before you found out about all the cons in my life."

"What, you think that would have made a difference?"

"Yeah, at least a little. Back before you really knew me." If she knew about Sharon before they started dating, he's sure she wouldn't have stuck around.

"I dunno..." Y/n murmurs. "I don't think it would have made any difference."

Well that's sweet.

"Oh well," Jimin says. "We're here now and Gavin's in a psych ward. Guess things got a bit intense for all of us, didn't it?"

"Yeah."

"But it worked out and we're doing great."

"Hmm." Y/n sounds unsure. A little seed of fear takes place in the pit of Jimin's stomach.

"What?" He asks.

"I wouldn't say doing 'great,' but yeah, pretty close."

Oh no.

Oh please no.

"What's not great?"

"Well... I dunno, it's just..."

Jimin's stops smiling.

"Is... there something on your mind?"

Y/n widens her eyes and shakes her head vigorously.

"No I just... I didn't word that right," she says. "I'm talking about all the downsides we've been through. I still have nightmares and that's not great. You're still thin as a stick and that's not great either."

Jimin thinks that's great. Just means there's no flab or anything anywhere. Nevertheless, he's relieved that that is what she is referring to and not... anything else.

Y/n continues.

"We've both got some bad trauma, we've still got a whole lot of... life to figure out and it's all scary."

At least she still plans to be a part of that life.

"We'll be okay," Jimin says. He smiles a small smile again. "I told you, I see a future when I'm with you."

Y/n presses her lips into a thin smile and looks down at his chest. She delicately traces the scar right in the middle.

Jimin likes that. He likes when she touches him. Her fingers are warm and gentle.

"I had a nightmare about this," she says, tapping the scar.

Jimin only sort of remembers how he got it. The only thing he can recall clearly about that night is saying goodbye to Y/n after their fight, and then the look in Sharon's eyes as she plunged her knife into his chest.

Another demon that haunts his nightmares.

Y/n lightly traces Jimin's jaw with her fingers and turns his head to the side. She places her hand on the nape of his neck and brushes her thumb over a spot under his ear. He has a scar there too, he thinks. He only remembers because there was a bandaid there during his time in the hospital and it was kind of annoying.

Y/n kisses the scar, then leans down to kiss the one on his chest. Jimin watches her carefully, suddenly very aware that his shirt is on the floor and not on him.

Y/n lifts her head and looks into his eyes, innocent and clueless.

Jimin knows better than to believe that she is innocent and clueless.

She leans forward and kisses him, hands on the back of his neck. Taking the invitation immediately, Jimin cups her face and slips his tongue into her mouth. She slides her hands over his shoulders, down his back, around his waist and up his chest, leaving burning trails wherever they go.

The more she touches him, the hungrier he gets, and the faster and sloppier the kisses become. Jimin feels his self control begin to dissolve, and he can't figure out how to stop himself.

That is, until Y/n's fingers slip under the waistline of his sweatpants.

The surprise pulls Jimin's attention away from her lips, and he pulls away to look at her. She immediately removes her hands, blushing bright pink under his amused gaze.

"For someone as timid as you, you sure are thirsty," he purrs, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her ever-closer.

"That-that was an accident," she says. "I didn't- I don't mean to-"

Jimin interrupts her with another kiss, suppressing a smirk.

"We should go somewhere else," he whispers. "Because I don't know when Namjoon is going to walk through that front door and I don't want to be interrupted."

Y/n doesn't seem to understand a word he just said, because she looks at him with a dazed, hooded gaze that flutters between his eyes and his lips. She inches forward again and presses her mouth against his once more.

"Y/n," Jimin hums, smiling into the kiss.

"I don't wanna get up," she says.

"Too bad. Lets go," Jimin says, pushing her off of his lap. She stands up and grabs the duvet off of the floor. Jimin picks up his shirt and follows her down the hall to the guest room. Y/n turns the lights on and tosses the duvet onto the bed, then turns around to face Jimin as he closes the door, eyes on hers.

There is one window in the room, to the left of the bed, and despite the curtains draped over it, light still spills into the room from the setting sun just outside. Jimin wants it to be dark. He drops his shirt to the floor and pulls Y/n into another kiss. They move fluidly, burning, eating, living off of each other the way fire lives off of wood.

"Jump," Jimin mutters between kisses, and as Y/n jumps, he secures his hands underneath her thighs to hold her up. He leans against the door as she wraps her legs around his hips, clutching his shoulders in her warm hands. One of her hands creeps up his neck and into his hair as they continue to kiss, and after a moment, she grabs a fistful and pulls.

Letting out a gasp, Jimin tilts his head back and groans, hands tightening around her thighs. He loves when she does that- something about the pain arouses him, draws him in. Y/n moves to his neck almost immediately, like a moth to a flame, and kisses every inch of skin she can reach.

Reaching blindly for the switch on the wall, Jimin turns the lights out, making the room considerably darker, though it doesn't seem dark enough. Y/n closes her mouth over his Adam's apple and nibbles the skin of his throat. Jimin tilts his head back all the way as she trails her kisses upward, over his chin, along his jaw, and up to his ear.

Then she bites him. She bites him right in the crook of his neck, not trying very hard to be gentle. It hurts a little, and though Jimin doesn't have a particularly good reaction to pain (given his past), he wants her to continue. He feels as if his blood is on fire. He puts Y/n back on the ground and pulls her lips back to his, kissing her as if he has been starved of this for a long rime.

Jimin slowly reaches behind him and locks the door, then pushes her backward without breaking the kiss.

The two of them stumble over to the bed, wrapped around each other like tree vines. The fire in the pit of Jimin's stomach spreads throughout the entirety of his body, consuming his self control and filling his mind with lustful desires. He picks her up, breaking the kiss, and tosses her onto the middle of the bed before climbing on top of her and kissing her again and again.

With one hand, he massages her hip and with the other, he reaches for the duvet and pulls it over them, over their heads and drowning them in darkness. The blanket muffles all noises outside, amplifying the sounds of heavy breathing and lips smacking, the quiet sighs and soft groans. It gets hotter under the blanket, every exhale adding to the stuffy atmosphere and somehow drawing more arousal from Jimin.

It's only a little uncomfortable, but that is the last thing on Jimin's mind, what with Y/n wrapping her arms around his waist, her hot hands roaming around his back.

Jimin begins to lose every last piece of self control he has in him, and he isn't sure if he should continue like this.

He pulls away from  Y/n's lips and looks down at her, though he can't see anything other than her faint silhouette in the dark. There's something about having her beneath him, bending to his will and responding to his touch that sends Jimin off on a high. He can't get enough of her. She's addictive. She's beautiful. She's precious.

She's all his.

On days when Jimin doesn't loath himself, that thought doesn't make him feel guilty. She's his. Right now, that makes him feel triumphant. He found his most precious life treasure when he wasn't even looking for her, and he got her before anyone else could take her first.

She waited hopelessly for ten whole months for him to wake up from a coma, and when he did, she flew across the world for him.

"Jimin?" Her soft voice pulls him out of his thoughts. He leans down to press a long, gentle kiss to her lips. Instead of heated and quick and hungry, the kiss is filled with that feeling that Jimin can't express through words. He's so desperate to tell her this feeling, to make it known to her, but to his exasperation, he doesn't think he can.

I am so in love with you that I am helpless.

He's helpless. There isn't anything or anyone at all that can make him feel like this the way that Y/n can.

Helpless.

Helpless and scared.

Scared because he doesn't want this to go away.

With every precious thing comes a price. Jimin isn't worried that there is a price to pay, per se, but he is worried that that price makes her easier to lose.

It's stupid. She reminds Jimin all the time that she will never leave. He knows she won't. But he can't help but feel that this won't last forever.

"What are you thinking about?" Y/n murmurs when he pulls away again.

"You," Jimin says shortly, pressing down for another long, drawn-out kiss.

"Well duh, I know that," Y/n whispers mid-kiss, a smile creeping across her lips. "I'm thinking about you too. I mean what about?"

"I'm thinking about how much I love you," Jimin answers distractedly, whispering into her mouth and running his fingers along her thigh. He revels in the warmth that radiates from her body. It spreads through him like honey through a sponge, and he savors the feeling of her touching him.

"About how much I love being with you," he murmurs, kissing her again.

Y/n presses her hand to his back to pull him down on top of her, legs tangled, stomachs pressed together, hearts beating against each other. Jimin traces her cheekbone with his lips and kisses the soft skin beneath her ear.

Why can't they live like this every day for the rest of their lives? Why can't they run away and hide in a remote part of this world, alone together until they die?

As tempting as that is, Jimin knows that it's irrational. Plus, she'd get sick of him eventually, when all he wants to do is smother her with kisses and "I love yous."

Jimin hears the sound of the front door opening outside. Namjoon is back.

"We should go greet him," Y/n says, stroking Jimin's hair. "We need to talk about when we're going back to America."

"How is that going to work?" Jimin asks. "You've gotta be tight on money by now and I don't know how to contribute."

"Don't worry about it," Y/n murmurs. "I set aside money for airplane tickets. Whatever was left over was for helping Namjoon and Bongcha and Minji because we lived with them for a while and namjoon can't support us on his own. Even mom contributed some money, because she loves and misses you too."

"You thought of everything," Jimin mutters, feeling a little guilty. He hasn't done anything. It's not like he can anyway, but that doesn't make him feel any better. "How much are you putting into this?"

Y/n presses a kiss to his lips.

"Everything I have, and before you go off thinking that makes you an inconvenience," she says, as if she read Jimin's mind. "You're not." She kisses him again.

"You're worth everything I have."

Yeah this is just a filler I've been swamped with school and work and I hardly have the time to even think about my fics. I'll try to update again soon though.

Also, little life update for anyone who cares: I've been talking to a boy lately (actually mostly just texting) and we've been flirting back and forth nonstop and I'm like, kind of excited but also kinda awkward because I have NEVER flirted with guys before (successfully, that is) and I don't know how to go about this. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere to eat yesterday and I said no because I am SUPER uncomfortable with the idea of my parents knowing that I'm talking to a boy, so I didn't go.

I didn't really want to anyway because I am FULL of issues that probably needa get checked and I also have NEVER talked to him in person and I feel like I need more time before he takes me somewhere.

Plus, BTS is literally the standard so it's hard to like... feel genuinely attracted? Y'all know what I mean?

Okay I'm done you can go now :)

Have a great day/night!<3

-L