I have a face mask on right now cause you know, skin care🤪 and I look like Michael Myers

[me from the future while I'm editing: today's my first day of school can I get a refund on life]

[me from the further future while I'm still editing: it's my second day of school why am I not dead yet]

Jimin

After getting back to Namjoon's apartment for the day, Y/n went straight to the guest room to hide herself away. Jimin asked her to come out and eat lunch, but she said if he wouldn't eat, she wouldn't either.

Jimin didn't want to be the reason she didn't eat. So he reluctantly ate lunch with her.

He hopes she doesn't do this often.

Now, sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the wall trying to catch his breath, Jimin regrets it. He waited for her to return to their room and fall asleep before coming in here. He needs to be careful when doing this- especially now- because he knows she will try to catch him redhanded. And he wants to avoid that.

Jimin can't stop thinking about what happened with Jihyun today. He said something he probably shouldn't have and he feels bad for it.

[Ahead is a flashback, so it's written in italics. Sentences spoken in Korean are written normally in this section.]

"And it never once occurred to you that you should call the police?" Jihyun asks.

Jimin's smile disappears.

What did he say?

"I- what?" Y/n asks. Jimin can hardly hear her.

This doesn't sound good.

"You never called the police," Jihyun says. He glares at Y/n, triggering something protective and mean inside of Jimin. He grabs tightly to Y/n's hand to calm himself.

"Jimin went through all of that pain and suffering in America because you didn't think it would be smart to call the cops. He almost died because of it."

That's it.

"Jihyun!" Jimin snaps. He's had enough of this. "Don't talk to her like that. You don't even know what happened or why, so you have no place telling her that it's her fault. Do you even know how much she went through because of it? No, you don't. So shut the fuck up."

Jin widens his eyes and shuffles his feet awkwardly off to the side.

"Am I wrong!?" Jihyun asks angrily, still in English. "You could have finished out your whole school year without almost being killed and it's all her fault that didn't happen. No girl is worth that much."

Jimin pulls Y/n behind him, to keep her out of Jihyun's sight.

"You're being an asshole Jihyun," Jimin spits. "I didn't come here so you could bully my girlfriend. If you've got a problem with her, you can talk to me in Korean instead of hurting her feelings. She's the love of my life and you're gonna have to get fucking used to it."

"Jimin, you could have done so much better than that anyway," Jihyun says. "Normal girlfriends don't hide your secret away and put you in danger."

"Normal girlfriends- what the hell is that supposed to mean, Jihyun!?" Jimin feels Y/n's forehead against his back and squeezes her hands comfortingly. "She flew all the way back here when she found out I was put back in danger! So don't you tell me-"

Y/n lets go of Jimin's hand and pulls his coat sleeve. Jimin stops mid-sentence and turns around, softening his gaze for her.

"It's okay," she mumbles. Her nose is red and her eyes are teary. "He-he's right."

Jimin's anger suddenly returns with full force, and he furrows his eyebrows at her.

That's enough.

"No he's not," he says. He grips her hands tightly in his and turns back to his brother, his face melding into a mean glare.

"Look what you did," he growls. "For the record, she didn't get help because I made her promise me not to call the cops. You know why? Because I didn't want to ruin your entire life by confessing and ruining the illusion of a perfect family that you grew up with. Think about that before you blame her for something I did for you."

Jimin whips around and nudges Y/n toward the exit.

"We're leaving."

[End Flashback]

Jimin didn't think Y/n would believe everything Jihyun said. After all, he was the one who made her promise not to tell. He didn't think she would begin to doubt the reasons behind her promise.

She thinks it was her fault.

How much blame did she take for herself after he was hospitalized?

Jimin stands up and looks in the mirror to make sure his face is clean, and brushes his teeth to get rid of the bitter, sour taste in his mouth before leaving the bathroom.

In the guest room, Y/n is still fast asleep. She holds her phone close to her chest, earbuds in. Her hair covers her face, and the blankets are pulled over her shoulders.

Jimin carefully climbs into bed and brushes her hair out of her face. She looks so peaceful and calm in her sleep. He wishes she could always be like this. Calm and content. She was so happy after reuniting with him, and now she just seems so stressed.

Jimin wants to talk to her about it, make her feel better, but he knows why she's stressed, and he can't talk about that. Aside from that though, flying across the world and staying in a foreign country for a month isn't that easy. When she isn't with Jimin or Namjoon, she's lonely, because no one else speaks enough English.

And Jimin does suppose that it's difficult to be the only girl around. At least after leaving Busan.

Jimin smooths her hair down and tucks it behind her ear, then carefully removes her earbuds.

"I made toast," she mutters in her sleep. Jimin covers his mouth to hold back a laugh. He picks her phone up and pauses the music she was listening to, when he notices a notification from Jihyun.

Jimin glances at Y/n, who's lips have now parted, and then opens the message.

Jihyun

Jimin I'm sorry, can
we talk?

Please?

Jimin glances at Y/n once again, then carefully gets off of the bed and leaves the room. As soon as the door clicks shut behind him, he calls his brother.

The phone rings a couple of times before Jihyun answers.

"Hello?"

"You better have a really good apology prepared," Jimin says. "Because what you said was cruel."

"I... was going to apologize to you," Jihyun says. "Did you... mean what you said?"

Only a little bit. Jimin thinks, but he doesn't answer the question.

"You hurt Y/n's feelings."

"Well- I meant what I said. If she really loved you that much, wouldn't she have done something to help you?"

Jimin pulls the phone away from his ear and hangs up. Then he sets it down on the kitchen counter and pulls at his hair so he doesn't break something.

He doesn't want to be on bad terms with his brother. But Jihyun is going to have to learn and accept that Y/n is neither optional or replaceable.

Besides, if she "didn't love Jimin," she wouldn't have flown here when he woke up.

When his frustration subsides a little, he picks up the phone again to see more messages spammed from Jihyun.

Jihyun

Jimin please talk to me

I'm sorry okay?

I'm trying to understand

If I found out, I would
have called the police
immediately

Please talk to me?

Jimin I missed you so
much can you PLEASE
just answer the phone

Could you stop spamming?

This isn't my phone

Jimin please

Can you please call
me back

Not right now I'm busy

Doing what?

Not answering you

I'll talk to you when you're
done acting like a child

And when you apologize
to Y/n

Jihyun doesn't answer after that, and Jimin is sure that that means his brother doesn't want to come around. Fine. Be that way. Jimin can go have a nap now. A well needed one, at that.

Jimin is proven wrong when the phone buzzes again.

Jihyun

I'm sorry

I know I shouldn't
have acted like that

Damn right. Jimin thinks.

Jihyun

I just wanted someone
to blame

I just lost my parents,
you know?

I just found out they
were the shittiest people
on Earth

Welcome to the club
what do you want me
to do about that?

Jimin doesn't mean to sound so sarcastic and rude.

Well... yes he does. But he knows he should try a little harder to understand his brother's point of view.

Can I come over?

Isn't this too far away
for you?

I can tell aunt and uncle
that I'm just going to a
friend's house

And they'll believe you?

Who cares?

So can I come over?

This isn't my apartment
I'm not just gonna invite
you over

I want to talk to you

Jimin sighs. He wants to talk to Jihyun too. He can't stay mad forever. As long as Jihyun doesn't talk to Y/n like he did earlier, it should be fine.

I'll ask Namjoon when
he comes back from work

But you're on thin ice Jihyun

I know

I'm sorry

I promise I'll make
it up to you

Jimin nods in approval and turns Y/n's phone off. Now he can take a nap. He walks back to the guest room to find Y/n still fast asleep, only now she is laying on her other side. Jimin plugs Y/n's phone in and leaves it on the nightstand, then climbs into bed next to her.

She's so warm. Jimin feels like he is always cold nowadays, no matter how many layers he covers himself with, but when he lays in bed with Y/n, the cold goes away. And so does the anxiety.

He pulls the blankets over himself and curls up next to her, draping an arm around her waist and pressing her sleeping body closer to his.

It isn't long before Jimin drifts off into a peaceful slumber, free of today's frustrations.

•••

When Jimin wakes up again, Y/n is still asleep. It must be because of how late she stayed up last night.

Jimin woke up from another nightmare last night, and when she wasn't there, he almost panicked. After adapting to reality, he got up and left to find her in the living room.

There seemed to be something on her mind, but she didn't say anything about it. She didn't look like she wanted to talk to him at all.

It makes him anxious.

Jimin nuzzles her forehead and shifts in bed to get more comfortable. He's been reunited with her for about a month now, yet having her by his side during every waking moment still feels like a dream. A really good dream.

At least, when he isn't spiraling into an endless abyss of guilty thoughts.

Oh what Jimin would give to go back in time. He would do anything to feel the way he did back then, particularly on days when he would wake up early in the morning and flee to Y/n's house. Mornings when he'd wake up, text Y/n, leave Sharons's house, and walk to Y/n's in the wet hours of the morning. The part of the morning when it was chilly outside, overcast, a bit foggy, and the grass sparkled with dewdrops that usually froze into frost.

Jimin often walked the long way on those mornings, instead of cutting through the grass, because it was quiet. Most of the houses still had their lights out, and the families inside were all asleep. The sun wasn't high enough to wake the birds, and street lamps were all still lit and flickering, swarmed by moths. Jimin felt alone in the neighborhood. Alone enough to be able to think.

And then, when he finally made it to Y/n's house on those mornings before her sister or her mother were awake, she'd sneak him up to her room to go back to sleep. Then, they'd wake up before her mother did and go downstairs to pretend that he'd just gotten there when her mom came down the stairs to make breakfast.

Her mother treated Jimin like he was her own. She cared more for him than his own parents. When she woke up on those special mornings and saw Jimin in the house, she'd make pancakes for breakfast and hold conversations with him while a sleepy Y/n dozed off with her head on the countertop.

Regardless of whatever problems Jimin has now, he'd kill for a breakfast like that again.

Jimin misses Y/n's mom. Though he will miss his friends here very much, he can't wait to see her again. And as little as he saw Lily, he can't wait to see her either. And Mikey, if he's still around where Y/n lives. And even Nathan and Cassandra, though he only became friends with them shortly before the incident.

Jimin repositions his head on his pillow farther away from Y/n's so he can see her face better.

What would have happened if he didn't meet her?

She's given him so much- more than he's ever asked of her- but he doesn't have anything to give in return. Not much other than himself, at least, but he's already given himself to her. She gave him love, a home, a family, and even freedom.

All he has to offer are his mental illnesses and messed up body.

As if she can sense Jimin's thoughts, Y/n moves a little closer to him. Her head moves downward until her forehead touches his nose, and she heaves a shaky sigh before returning to her deep sleep.

He wonders what she is dreaming about. If she is having a nightmare, or if she is dreaming about something happy. If she dreams about her memories, or if she has funny dreams that make no sense. If he is in her dream, or if he is far from her dreamworld.

She's told Jimin about plenty of her nightmares, and he knows he is in those quite a lot, but he wonders about her good dreams.

He hardly ever remembers his own dreams. It's like he doesn't even dream anymore. Sleep doesn't come as easily to him as he'd like it to, and when he does sleep, he is uncomfortable. When he wakes up after sleeping for hours and hours, he is exhausted.

He's restless and tired and cold and starving and he doesn't know what to do about it all.

His thoughts run in circles. It doesn't matter what he thinks about. It always comes back to himself. He isn't happy with himself.

He doesn't want to think about himself.

Jimin wraps his fingers around Y/n's shoulder and shakes her gently.

He doesn't want to think at all.

Y/n stirs, but doesn't budge.

Jimin shakes her shoulder again.

Thinking brings him to bad places.

Y/n presses her lips together, her eyebrows furrow, and she readjusts her head on the pillow. She goes completely still again, and Jimin wonders if he should even be trying to wake her up, when her eyes open.

She blinks the sleep out of her eyes, and she brings her hand up to rub her forehead. Jimin watches as her eyes adjust to the light and focus on him. She closes her eyes again.

"What time is it?"

"I dunno," Jimin says. "I just woke up too."

"Is Namjoon back?"

"I don't think so."

"Oh. Why'd you wake me up?" Y/n opens her eyes again. "Are those tears in your eyes?"

"No." Jimin blinks a couple of times and shakes his head, unaware that his eyes were burning.

"Mm." She closes her eyes again and heaves a sigh. For a moment, Jimin thinks she is about to go back to sleep, when she rolls onto her back and feels around the bed for something.

"Where's my phone?"

Jimin points to the nightstand behind her. "I plugged it in."

"Oh, thanks." Y/n twists herself around and picks up her phone to check the time. "It's almost four." She drops it on the nightstand again and turns back around.

"Did you sleep too?" She asks.

"Mhm."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Same as always," Jimin says.

"Couldn't sleep anymore then?"

Jimin shakes his head. "Yeah and I got bored."

"Ugh." Y/n pouts. "There's a TV in the living room and you had to wake me up?"

"Well sorry," Jimin says, a grin spreading across his face. "You could always kick me out and go back to sleep miss cranky."

"It's too late. Sleeping beauty doesn't get pricked twice."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jimin laughs.

"I won't be able to go back to sleep."

"Then come on," Jimin says. He sits up and scoots to the edge of the bed. "Let's go do something."

"But I don't wanna get uuup," Y/n whines, pulling the blanket over her head.

"Come on pleeeaaase," Jimin says, pulling the blanket away. "You already said you won't go back to sleep."

"I seem to recall you being difficult this morning when I tried to wake you up," Y/n says, reaching for the blanket again. Jimin holds it out of her grasp.

"Okay yeah but the difference is that we had somewhere to go," Jimin says. "I'm just gonna take you to the couch. You can sleep on me there if you so choose."

Y/n squints at Jimin, mulling it over in her mind, then sighs and gets up.

"Fine," she says. "Come carry me then."

Jimin snorts. "No but I'll drag you."

"I'm just kidding," Y/n says quickly, getting up and muttering, "I can't wake you up in the mornings but for some reason this is okay?" She passes Jimin and walks out the door. "Of all the immoral and criminal things you could possibly do..." her voice fades as she walks down the hallway, dragging the duvet with her.

Jimin smiles and walks after her to the living room.

"You should kiss me to get me up next time then," he says suggestively. "That would wake me up pretty fast."

"Not before you brush your teeth," Y/n retorts. She plops down onto the couch and spreads out across all the cushions, leaving no more space. "I claim this spot."

Jimin grabs the remote from off of the TV stand and gently lays on top of Y/n.

"I claim this spot," he says. He switches the TV input and then looks down at Y/n, their noses touching, almost cross eyed.

"You look funny from here," Y/n giggles.

"You look funny," Jimin says. He closes his eyes and kisses her on the lips. "You're precious."

Y/n tilts her head up to kiss him again, fingers tangling in his hair on the back of his head to hold him in place.

"Can we just," she pauses to kiss him again, "always be like this?" She asks.

"What do you mean?" Another kiss.

"I mean like..." kiss, "happy and..." kiss, alone."

Jimin smiles into the next kiss. "Aren't we always?" Kiss. "At least most of the time?"

Y/n kisses Jimin again and wraps her other arm around his waist. "It's ironic how," kiss, "we're alone together all the time," kiss, "but when I want it most is," kiss, "when we're not."

Kiss. "I know what you mean." Kiss. "We're alone now though." Kiss. "So do to me what you want."

"I don't know what I want," Y/n murmurs letting her head fall back into the couch. "I just want you close to me."

Jimin stares down at her, feeling all warm inside.

"Well," he murmurs. "I am on top of you. I'd say that's pretty close."

Y/n cups Jimin's face and pulls him back down for yet another kiss.

"You know what forget the TV," she mutters, sliding her hands over his shoulders and down his back. "We've got better things to do."

Jimin hums in agreement, the kisses getting sloppier and sloppier with every passing second, making it more and more difficult to pull away. Y/n's fingers slip under his shirt and trace his scars up, up, up until she reaches his shoulder blades and his shirt bunches up around her arms. Goosebumps spread across his skin but he ignores it, too distracted by her lips to care.

Y/n's hands roam around the expanse of his back, leaving trails of warmth behind them until the cold presses against his skin again. Jimin slides his fingers up her sleeve and cups his hand around her burning shoulder, wanting to explore more and more of her skin with every passing second, but holding himself back. He doesn't know the limits with her.

Y/n pulls his shirt all the way over his shoulders, and he responds by pulling his arms out of the sleeves and breaking the kiss for a moment to get it off over his head.

"Fuck," Jimin whispers, the cold air enveloping him wherever Y/n isn't touching him. "What are we doing?"

"Did you just curse?" Y/n asks. She pushes Jimin away to look at him with an amused smile. He turns pink under her gaze, though he isn't sure why.

"Yes? Why?"

"I never hear you curse," Y/n says. "Unless you're mad."

"Oh," Jimin says. "I've never noticed. I guess... I guess it's because it doesn't feel right when I'm around you."

Now Y/n is blushing.

"That- that is..." she trails off. "You say the sweetest things sometimes."

Jimin kisses her nose. "That's because I love you." He leans over the side of the couch to pick up the TV remote. "What should we watch?"

"I dunno, pick something random."

"Hm what's Fifty Shades of Gray?" 

"I swear to god if you choose that one-"

"Relax, I'm kidding," Jimin says, grinning. He leans down to nuzzle her nose. "I know what that is."

Y/n breathes a sigh of relief and relaxes her head into the armrest of the couch. "Pick a Disney movie. Those are almost always good."

"All the Disney movies on this TV are probably in Korean," Jimin says.

"That doesn't bother me," Y/n says. "I think it's interesting when the characters I grew up with have different voices and stuff."

Jimin smiles and picks a random movie- Peter Pan- adjusts the volume, and sets the remote back down on the floor. He looks back down at Y/n, who's eyes are on his. She leans up and kisses his chin, then flops back into her spot, a small smile on her face.

Her smile fades as her eyes flicker away from his. He is about to ask what's wrong when he feels the tips of her fingers on his chest, right over his scar.

Jimin's smile fades too. He cups his hand over hers and flattens her hand against his heartbeat.

"M'still alive," he says, lowering his face into her direct line of sight. "Forget about that okay?"

Y/n nods, and Jimin lets go of her hand. "I'm cold," he says.

"Okay then move for a second," Y/n says. Jimin sits up and Y/n moves around so she can pull the duvet out from under her. She pats the top of her chest, beckoning Jimin to lay down. He does as told, snaking his arms around her waist and laying his head on her chest. She wraps the blanket around him and tucks the covers underneath her so they're nice and snug, then returns her hands to his back.

Warm and cozy, they watch the movie together until Jimin dozes off halfway through, comfortable and safe in love's embrace.

I edited this messily so idk if this is gonna have a ton of mistakes or not. I'm in the middle of a class and I'm sitting right in front of an open door so I feel too paranoid to proofread again😬

This is a filler bc I'm not quite sure what I'm writing next.

Have a good day/night!<3

-L