Ah he's so pretty✌️😔
I think I edited this

"Y/n?"

You feel your shoulder being shaken to wake you up. You open your eyes blearily. The room is dark and you can't see anything except for Jimin outlined by the silvery light of the moon.

"So pretty..." you mutter, half asleep.

"Y/n, wake up," Jimin whispers.

You rub your eyes and blink the sleep out of them.

"I'm up," you murmur, voice slurred and slow. "What time is it?"

"I-I don't know," Jimin says. The nervousness in his voice finally registers and you furrow your eyebrows. Is he okay?

"What... what happened? Couldn't sleep?"

"Nightmare. I... I can't shake it off."

You sit up next to Jimin and scoot closer to him.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask, wrapping your arms around him and resting your chin over his shoulder. He responds immediately by relaxing in your embrace and resting his head in the crook of your neck. His warm breath fans out over your skin, making you feel tingly inside.

He doesn't speak. He curls into your warmth and takes a minute to just breathe. You rub your fingers up and down his back gently and cradle his head with your other hand.

"It wasn't real," you murmur. "Whatever it was, it wasn't real. It's okay. We're okay."

Jimin's fists clench around your shirt. He adjusts his face a little so his forehead rests against your shoulder.

"I love you." He whispers it so quietly, you almost don't hear it.

"I love you too," you murmur back. You can feel his heartbeat from his back. You flatten your hand over it and close your eyes as you feel it slow down ever so gradually.

"Do you wanna talk about the call?" You ask, before thinking. It's probably not the best idea to ask him a stressful question when he's... uh... stressed, but you can't take your mind off of it.

"The- the what?"

"The call. With your brother. Before you passed out."

"Oh."

You know Jimin wasn't talking to his brother on the phone. After you and Taehyung carried him to bed last night, you went back out to talk to Namjoon and tell him that meeting Hoseok would have to wait.

"He's exhausted and weak," you said. "I think he might be a little sad if he misses this but he needs to sleep."

"I agree," Namjoon said. He relayed it to Taehyung for his opinion, and he agreed too.

"Who was he calling?" Namjoon asked you.

"His brother," you replied. "Jihyun?"

Taehyung shook his head. "Not," he said. "Not-" he frowned. "Wait... no. I mean no."

What was that supposed to mean?

"No?" You asked, tilting your head. Namjoon asked Taehyung a question in Korean. Taehyung answered quickly, and Namjoon looked back at you.

"Jimin said it was Jihyun?"

You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn't like where the conversation was going.

"He- Yeah, he said it was his brother... you know, since Taehyung told him we arrived in Seoul."

Namjoon translated that, and Taehyung frowned as well, giving you a sympathetic look. You didn't like that look. Taehyung explained more to Namjoon, who translated for you once again. Translating conversations was probably exhausting for him.

Poor Namjoon.

"Taehyung says Jimin's doctor called. He was going to listen with him as soon as he got Jimin's water, but then Jimin was gone."

"He was on the phone with his doctor?"

Namjoon nodded, and Taehyung patted your shoulder comfortingly.

That was it then. There was no call with Jihyun. It was Jimin's doctor.

Jimin lied.

"Talking about things helps me feel better," you say, though you don't even talk about your problems with him. "You just- you looked so sad. And I wanna make you feel better."

"Just stay like this," Jimin says, kissing your neck. "I just want you close to me."

You're glad he doesn't mention your hypocrisy.

You close your eyes and rub your fingers lightly up and down his back. You can hardly feel the scars under his shirt anymore, a good sign that they're healing quickly. You bet they'd heal faster if he would just eat more.

"Do you want to..."

Jimin trails off before he finishes his sentence. You pull your head away from his shoulder and look at him.

"Hm?"

"It's nothing." Jimin shakes his head. Then, rethinking his answer, he says, "do you... want to see them?"

You raise your eyebrows. "See what?"

"My scars."

He's offering to let you see his back? Meaning take his shirt off? You stare into his eyes, unsure of what to say. Yes. You want to say yes. A million times yes. Of course. But how do you say that? Suddenly you feel very hot.

Jimin takes your silence as an answer and sits up, hands grasping the bottom edge of his shirt. In one swift, fluid movement, he pulls it up, up, over his head, and discards it to the side, eyes never leaving yours.

You turn pink, desperately trying to keep your gaze locked on his eyes and not everything else.

Jimin turns around, exposing his backside to you. You let your eyes drop finally, sit up, and slowly scoot closer to him. It's a bit hard to see, because the room is so dark, but there is enough moonlight spilling in around the curtains to illuminate a strip of skin across his back.

You raise your hand to the spot, fingertips hovering delicately over a particularly long scar that stretches from the top of his spine to his waist. Your fingers touch the skin, and you exhale a breath you didn't know you were holding.

The scar is smooth and a little pink, probably an old one. All of the scars on his back form a pattern of old, light ones and darker, fresher ones, painful reminders that Jimin didn't have a safe childhood, nor a happy one.

Your finger traces the long scar to the bottom of it, on his side. You curl your hands around his waist and clasp them in front of his stomach. Then you lean forward and press a kiss to the back of his neck, and press your forehead against his skin.

He is. So. Skinny.

You desperately want to know what he talked about with his doctor. Namjoon said that he'd call for the results of the blood test, which would only confirm that he doesn't eat, but now you won't find out. Because if Jimin didn't want to tell you it was his doctor, then he probably doesn't want to share the results. Which means he is knowingly, actively starving himself.

Why else would he hide away?

A tear spills out of your eye. Then follows another. And another. Each one burning a trail of salt and moisture down your cheek until it reaches your chin, where it hangs on as long as it can before it falls.

Jimin twists around as soon as he feels the first one hit his back.

"Y/n?" He holds your hands in his and rubs his thumbs across your knuckles. "Hey, why are you crying?"

Because you won't eat.

"I'm- m'not-" you sniffle and wipe your cheek on your shoulder. "M'not crying."

"I should have waited to show you-"

"No- it's fine, I just- I feel a bit emotional- it's nothing."

You blink your bleary eyes and squeeze Jimin's hands, bowing your head to hide your face.

"It's okay," he says. "They don't hurt anymore."

"I wish..." you murmur slowly. "I wish... that I went to your house earlier that day."

"What?"

"I felt... bad about letting you go there. And.. I told you to call me but you didn't." You sniffle and wipe your eyes with the back of your wrist, hand still clasped in Jimin's.

"But I waited. If... if I didn't wait... if I didn't wait, this wouldn't have happened."

Jimin lets go of one of your hands and grasps your chin instead to raise your face.

"Stop," he says, voice hardly above a whisper. "We're done playing the blame game okay?" Jimin kisses your forehead and then lowers his head to your shoulder. "That's over."

A useless protest rises to your tongue but dissolves as soon as Jimin nibbles the skin in the crook of your neck. He lets go of your other hand and wraps his arms around your waist instead, pulling you closer to him.

You close your eyes as he continues to kiss and bite and suck on your neck, shifting the mood entirely from sad to... whatever this is that makes your toes curl and you feel hot.

Jimin slowly lays you down on the bed and hovers over you, lips scouring your neck.

You raise your arms over his shoulders and wrap them around his neck, one hand wrapping itself in his hair. Jimin moves his head out of your neck and joins his lips with yours instead, in an open kiss that makes your tummy tingle.

"I love you," Jimin whispers into the kiss. You whisper it back, obsessed with the feel of his skin against yours. His back and shoulders burn against your arms, every touch sending you deeper into a drunken state.

As the kisses get sloppier, you trail down, making your way to his throat, and then down, down, down over his chest, where you can feel his erratic heartbeat above your lips. His fingers grasp at the tips of your hair, and his head hangs low.

You scoot down the bed more, moving your lips further down his chest and ribs. After a moment, before you can make it to his stomach, he grasps at your hair tighter and gently pulls your head away. You stare up at him, though his eyes are closed, both of you panting. You don't know what to say, so you wait instead for him to be the first to speak.

"Don't tempt me," is all he whispers after a few moments.

Tempt him? To what?

"What if I want to?" You ask, not ready to stop. You raise your head again, but Jimin pulls you back down, tightening his fist in your hair.

"I..." Jimin lowers his head to your neck again, every pant warming up your skin.

"You make me feel..." he pauses, his lips tickling your neck. He takes a moment to breathe again. He's so close to you that you can feel his chest against yours when he inhales, until he lifts himself up farther to look at you.

"So good."

Your heart skips a beat, or maybe two, and your cheeks warm underneath his gaze.

You want to make him feel even better.

Jimin sits up all the way and reaches for his shirt.

"I'm so cold," he says, voice back to normal again as if he didn't just say something that hot. You didn't notice his goosebumps before, but now you can see them covering his arms.

How is he so cold all the time? Namjoon cranked the heat up, since it's like, almost winter, and after that mad make-out session a few seconds ago, you feel like you're burning to a crisp.

Nonetheless, Jimin pulls his shirt back on and slips into the covers, snuggling up right into your side where he can fall back to sleep.

You smile to yourself, turn on your side, and snuggle with him nice and comfy, and soon, you fall asleep.

•••

"Hi, I'm Jungkook."

"Hello," you say shyly, holding on tight to Jimin's arm. "I'm Y/n."

You, Jimin, Namjoon, Taehyung, and Jungkook sit at a table at a Chinese place, waiting for your food. The menu here, of course, is much more different than the ones you get at American Chinese restaurants. Jimin had to help you figure out what you wanted, since the menu was all in Korean.

Jungkook smiles, and he looks a little bit like a bunny. He says something in Korean to Jimin, who responds with a nod and a chuckle.

"He says he wanted to ask you a question, but he doesn't remember some of the words in English," Jimin tells you.

You smile awkwardly and nod. "What's the question?"

Jimin says something to Jungkook, and Jungkook speaks back.

"He wanted to know- wait," Jimin switches back to Korean and talks to Jungkook again. They converse for a minute, and you just watch awkwardly, until you hear the word "hospital" exchanged a couple of times.

"Aahhh," Jungkook says. "Hospital." He turns to you. "I wanted to ask..." he pauses and stares at the table in thought, piecing together a sentence in his head. "How was the hospital? I forgot... word for hospital. In Korean it's 'byeongwon.'"

Jungkook's accent is adorable, and makes you smile.

"It was boring," you say. "But comfy." You're not sure how to tell what Jungkook will understand and what he won't. You don't know how much English he knows. He seems to know it a little more when he's listening rather than when he's speaking it.

"How long did you stay there?"

You furrow your eyebrows and look at Jimin.

"How long did we stay there?"

Jimin shrugs, but Namjoon puts his drink down and says, "two and a half weeks. And you've been in Korea for four."

You expected that it would be a while before you return to America, but you're not quite sure how long you should be gone. You're running off of money you earned from working for, like, five months? Six? And you're bound to run out soon.

You already contributed as much as you could to help Bongcha and Minji take care of you. You don't know how long it'll be before you run out. How long does Jimin want to stay here? Does he even want to leave?

Is there a way to make money while you're here, without getting a job and being stuck here for a long time?

"Y/n?" Jimin asks, waving a hand in front of your face. "You okay?"

You blink and nod your head. "Mmhmm," you hum. "Got lost in thought."

Jimin gives you a sympathetic look, as if he knows what you were thinking about (he probably does) and intertwines your fingers with his.

"So," Jungkook says. "How did you meet Jimin?"

You smile. "I fell on him," you say, squeezing Jimin's hand. "And then gave him my phone number."

Jungkook grins. "He told me all about you," he says. "He said you went and..." he pauses to think. "What is the word? Oh- you went on lots of dates."

Every time you hung out felt like a date. Now it feels like paradise, though there are clearly some things you need to talk about with him, because you both have been hiding things.

Things you shouldn't be hiding.

"Mmhmm," you hum. "Whenever we could."

Jimin leans his chin on your shoulder and closes his eyes. He's already tired. He ordered food though, like yesterday, so you hope he eats a lot. He needs it.

"Jimin told me about... what was it..." Jungkook looks at Jimin for a moment, trying to remember something. "That guy," he says, furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't know his name... Jimin had... fight with him."

Jimin lifts his head up at the mention of Gavin, and you tense as the memories cross your mind.

"What was his name?" Jungkook asks. "I forgot."

"Gavin," Jimin says. Then he says something else in Korean, seeming more tense than you, almost. Jungkook glances at you, then back at Jimin, without replying.

"What part did he tell you?" You ask out of curiosity.

"I told him about the first fight," Jimin says. "But I didn't get to tell him about all the other stuff."

"Ah," you say. You look at Jungkook and give him a small smile. "That is a long story," you say. "Wanna hear the rest of it?"

Jungkook glances at Jimin, then nods.

"What happened after the fight?"

Namjoon seems interested in this part of the conversation and tunes in. Taehyung pulls out his phone.

"We went back to my house," you say. You remember that day pretty clearly because it was the first time you saw him without a shirt. And then he got a boner after you made out on the couch.

"I fixed up a couple of his injuries."

"Injuries?" Jungkook asks, looking at Jimin. Jimin tells him the word in Korean and Jungkook nods.

"Ah. What happened next?"

You and Jimin relay the rest of the story to Jungkook and Namjoon, about the picture Gavin had, to blackmailing you, to how Jimin found out about it, to the first fight, and then the second fight.

It wouldn't have taken as long to explain it all if you didn't provide context (about how Gavin was always touchy and ignored you until Jimin came along), and then Jimin and Namjoon had to translate a couple of words that Jungkook didn't understand.

Jimin didn't seem all too comfortable talking about Gavin, but you figure he'll be fine.

"What happened after?" Jungkook asks.

"I don't know," Jimin says bitterly. "I almost died and didn't get to know the rest."

Oh. That's why he's tense. And a little salty.

Jungkook looks at you.

"Uh, he left me alone," you say, lowering your voice to a mutter to add, "for a while, anyway."

Jimin looks at you, and you can feel his eyes boring into your soul, but you ignore him.

He wants to know about what happened so bad. And you can't tell him because...

Why can't you tell him?

By now, the memory shouldn't affect you this much.

You stand up and tap Jimin's shoulder. "Can-can you help me find the bathroom?" You ask. Jimin looks around the restaurant to find it but you tug his sleeve and purse your lips when he looks back up at you.

Jimin stands up, furrowing his eyebrows, and grabs your hand. "We'll be back," he says to the others, and you pull him in the direction of the bathrooms.

They're at the back of the restaurant, down a hallway that conceals you from everyone else. You pull Jimin to the end of the hallway, past the bathroom doors, and stop by the dead end wall.

"You okay?" Jimin asks.

"Gavin left me alone until the end of the year," you say. "Nathan and Cassandra walked me to all of my classes so he couldn't come take me away again, which they figured he'd do after he found out you wouldn't come back."

Jimin grabs your other hand wordlessly and stares into your eyes, listening intently.

"It happened in the beginning of April. Nathan and Cassandra couldn't walk with me- I can't remember why- and Gavin found me and dragged me into a closet. He was mad at me because I ignored him for months and blocked him everywhere on my phone.

"Anyway, he took me back to the closet and tried to do the same thing as the last time," you say, eyes tearing up. "But I started crying and screaming and that pissed him off, so he pushed me onto the floor and started beating me up."

Jimin keeps a straight face through the whole explanation, and doesn't say anything, but in his eyes you can see his anger, burning as bright as fire.

"Some other boys from outside heard me screaming and came in before he could do anything worse, and drove me home. Momma took me to the hospital to make sure I didn't have any serious injuries other than the giant bruises, but I was fine- sort of."

You stare at Jimin's shirt, unable to meet his eyes.

"Gavin got expelled and I never saw him again. One of his old friends came to me the next week to say he was sorry about what happened, and he told me Gavin tried to kill himself, and when his parents took him to the psych ward, he was diagnosed with some kind of clinical obsession."

You sniffle and blink a couple of times. You don't want to start crying here, because then it will take forever to clear away the evidence before you return to the table.

"That was... when the panic attacks started," you say. "Sort of. I'd had a couple before, after you were flown back here, just... not that bad."

Jimin, sensing that you've finished, pulls you into his arms and holds you as close and as tight as he can. He tucks his head down to kiss the top of your head and whisper, "I'm sorry," so quiet you almost can't hear it.

You hide your face in his shoulder and close your eyes, hands barely holding onto his biceps.

"I-I'm sorry I couldn't tell you before," you say, voice quivering. "I wanted to but- but it still scares me when I think about what would have happened if no one saved me. I-I'm so sorry I-"

"Stop."

You sniffle and squeeze your eyelids shut, hurting at the memory. You still dream about it sometimes, and you don't like to talk about it or think about it. But right here, you feel safe, because Jimin is with you now, perfectly alive, and he won't ever let something like that happen to you again.

"I'm so sorry," Jimin whispers again, though you aren't sure what he's sorry for. He strokes your hair and kisses the top of your head. After a minute, he pulls away to look at you.

"Where did he hurt you?"

You shrug. "Where didn't he hurt me?" You chuckle dryly. "I was on the floor, so mostly... here." You place a hand over your stomach and shake your head. "But... but it was kinda all over."

Jimin looks down at your hand and then pulls you back into him. "I'm sorry," he whispers again. "I'm so sorry."

You want to tell him to stop saying that, because none of it was his fault, but it makes you feel better for some reason.

"I didn't return to school for a week, and when I did, everyone was just... so... I couldn't go anywhere without eyes on me. I was about to drop out, but then Covid happened and... yeah, I got to do the rest of the year online. Though I didn't do so well. I almost didn't pass my classes."

Jimin strokes your hair comfortingly. "I'm sorry."

"We should get back to the table," you say. "I'm sure the others are waiting for us."

Jimin pulls away and cups your face, then leans down to give you a gentle kiss.

"Thank you," he murmurs. You nod and cover his hands with your own. His cold, icy hands. You wonder why he doesn't ever feel warm anymore.

"I think I can talk about the call," Jimin says. "Last night."

"With your brother?" You ask. Is he going to fess up? Maybe that means he'll tell you about what he talked about with the doctor.

Jimin purses his lips.

"We'll talk about it later."

You nod and tap his hands. He removes them from your face and instead laces his fingers with yours again. The two of you head back out into the restaurant and find your table, then take your seats once again.

The food arrives shortly after, and your mood lightens again when you get to make conversations Jimin's friends. You're surprised to find out that Jungkook knows enough English to be able to understand a lot of the things you say, though sometimes he still needs translations for certain words.

He asks you to describe some of the words before he asks for the Korean equivalent, which you think is cool because it just means he really wants to learn.

You want to learn Korean, a little bit, but it seems so hard. Maybe some day (not in the near future), you can try to learn it. Jimin would definitely take time out of his day to help you.

When you finish your food, Jimin offers to share some of his with you, but you know better than to accept that. You won't let him lighten his plate.

After the others are done, you engage in more fun conversations with them while you wait for Jimin, who is eating a lot slower than all of you. He finishes last, and when he does, he gets up immediately and excuses himself to the bathroom.

You smile and tell him you love him, but the moment he's gone, you exchange worried glances with Taehyung and Namjoon. You all know this routine. Maybe it's time to start interfering.

Taehyung seems to think the same thing, because he gets up from the table and heads to the bathroom to find Jimin.

"Is Jimin okay?" Jungkook asks. You purse your lips.

"No," you mumble, slouching in your seat. "But he won't say anything."

"We think he's trying to starve himself," Namjoon says. "And we think he goes to the bathroom to throw up."

Jungkook's expression falls. "Oh," he says. "Have you asked him?"

"No," you say. "His doctor was supposed to call and give us results for his blood tests."

Jungkook frowns and looks at Namjoon, who says a word or two in Korean. He nods and then looks back at you.

"Did he call?"

"Yes. But Jimin hid in the bathroom so we couldn't listen with him."

"That means it's true, right?" Jungkook asks, looking sadder now.

Yes, and Jimin lied about his little phone call. He did tell you today that he'd talk with you about it later though, and you hope that means he'll come clean.

You spot Jimin and Taehyung walk out of the hallway that leads to the bathrooms, already done with whatever they were doing. Taehyung catches your eye from across the restaurant and shrugs, meaning he didn't catch Jimin doing anything bad.

When they return to the table, you look up at Jimin, who's smiling. He must be happy to see Jungkook again. He leans down and gives you a smooch before sitting down and grabbing your hand.

"We all ready to go?" He asks.

"Calm down, you just got back," you say.

"I know but we get to see Hoseok next and I'm so excited for it."

You squeeze Jimin's hand and smile at him. "I'm ready to go if you are."

I was gonna write more but then I looked at the word count and changed my mind. Anyway, that just means that I'm working on the next chapter now, since so know EXACTLY what I want to happen.

(Haha I wrote that note last night and the next chapter is almost done so you might get it soon)

Here's another picture :)

Have a good day/night!<3

-L