This chapter gets a little uh, heated?

"You don't want to tell me about what happened while I was gone," Jimin says. "But is there anything happy or mundane? I'll take anything."

You nod. "I got to be there when Nathan proposed to Cassandra," you say, smiling a little. Jimin smiles back. "I wish I could have been there," he says.

"I wish you could have been there too. It was so cute. He drove me to the elementary school playground they used to play at when they first met and told me to hide so she wouldn't see me. Then he picked her up and brought her to the park, and they talked for a little while, and then he kind of shot me a look, so I pulled out my phone and started recording while he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him."

Jimin smiles and rubs the back of your hand with his thumbs. "That's so cute," he says. His voice is soft and quiet. His voice is healing.

You nod. "Mmhmm. Um, I graduated, but just barely."

"Really? Just barely?"

"Yeah. But I did make it, which is a lot to say for me."

"You are one of the most hard working people I know," Jimin says. "Remember that time you got so stressed out and almost didn't let me come over because you wanted to study more? You passed with flying colors. Your teachers said you didn't even have to worry in the first place."

You look down at your hands. One of them lays in your lap while the other is held by both of Jimin's hands. "I-It was different in the end..." you murmur, eyes stinging. "I lost my... I lost my motivation to do anything. It was..."

You stop. Jimin begins rubbing the back of your hand again, not saying a word, as if silently urging you to continue. He wants so badly to know what happened.

Maybe you should share some of the little details from the bad stuff. You don't have to tell him everything about what happened with Gavin and how therapy went. That can wait.

But it was so bad. What if he does get disappointed in you?

You shift your gaze up and lock onto his eyes. He stares straight back, eyes large and comforting and soft and warm...

"I... didn't do anything," you say, almost whispering. How should you say it? "A-after you went to the hospital, I mean." You look back down at your hands. Jimin still doesn't say a word, letting you take your time to come up with stuff to say.

"I... you saw me." The memory of the very last time you saw his eyes plays in your mind. "At the hospital. We got in Mikey's car and followed the ambulance. And... and I managed to get into the room before the doctors did anything."

You can't breathe. The gurney is rolled into a room and the door closes, but not before you slip inside.

You press yourself into the corner of the room behind the door and watch as the EMTs lift Jimin up and transfer him onto the hospital bed. The gurney is taken out of the room.

Jimin's eyebrows are furrowed. The gauze on his chest is soaked with red. The doctors inject something into his arm. You can't hold back a whimper and he hears it.

Jimin opens his eyes and lifts his head ever so slightly.

He sees you.

You meet his eyes across the room. "Y/n..." he mumbles.

Jimin's eyes close and he goes limp.

Your eyes water. "You-you saw me. And then you went unconscious."

When you look up at Jimin again, his eyebrows are furrowed, gaze focused somewhere else, as if trying to remember.

"After that..." you say. "I... I visited you a lot. And... and I-I begged you to wake up. And then... you didn't. And then they put you on a med flight. So... so I shut down."

Jimin leans forward and presses his lips to your forehead. He stays there while you continue your attempt to tell him what happened.

"M-Mikey gave me your phone the night it happened so I could try to contact your friends," you murmur. "It took me a while to translate the names until I found Taehyung. He was on his way to Namjoon's, thankfully, so I could explain what happened."

You remember the phone call clearly. You cried a lot. Namjoon asked for your number so he and the others could stay updated on what was going on before Jimin was transported.

"Joon called me a bunch after that," you say, sniffling. You reach forward with your free hand and grasp onto the hem of Jimin's hospital shirt. It's just nice to hold onto something. "To check on you and ask how I was doing."

You blink and shake your head a tiny bit, realizing how difficult this is. You bite your lower lip nervously. "I-I don't want to talk about it anymore," you murmur. Your heart hurts. Your stomach hurts. Your head hurts. Your eyes burn.

You kind of went off track there. You meant to tell him about your depression but ended up talking about the aftermath and the shock of his near-death experience.

Jimin brings one of his hands up to your head and tangles his fingers in your hair. "That's okay," he murmurs. "Take your time."

"I-I'm sure if you ask Namjoon, he can tell you what I was like." You pull on Jimin's shirt, wanting him to come closer to you. "It's not that I don't want you to know," you mumble. "I-I just don't want to be the one to tell you."

"That's okay." Jimin moves his lips on your forehead and traces down to your cheek. His eyes are closed. He kisses your cheek, then your nose, then nuzzles your cheekbone. "I love you."

"What about you?" You ask. "What happened after-"

Jimin's eyes open and he backs up and looks at you with those precious big eyes. "Say it back?"

"I love you too."

Jimin closes his eyes again and leans forward to press your foreheads together. "Okay," he breathes. "What were you saying?"

"I was just gonna ask what it was like when you woke up."

Jimin's fingers pull through your hair and his hand smooths down your back, then wraps around your waist. "I don't remember it," he says. "Dr. In says that I woke up, like, a month ago."

"A month ago? Namjoon called me about a little over a week and a half ago to tell me you woke up."

"I woke up terrified and crazy, so the nurses had to knock me up on some type of sleeping drug to ease me into the whole 'congratulations, you just woke up from a year-long nap, would you like to hear about 2020?' thing," Jimin says, backing his face up so he can look at you. "It took a couple of weeks before I calmed down. I was in and out and completely doped on whatever sedative they put in me."

"So you were still recovering? And you only officially woke up when Namjoon told me you did?"

"Mmhmm. That's about the time I recovered enough to be taken home. That's the only thing I remember though. Seeing my parents. I don't remember anything before that. When the police brought me back, Dr. In told me everything that I asked about.

"He said it was normal not to remember anything. He said I might remember some stuff later or not. If I try hard enough, I can remember some things from when I was still asleep. Like when the nurses would come in and refresh my IV bag or wash me or talk to me and stuff."

Jimin kisses your nose and then backs up only to stare at the ceiling in thought.

"Dr In also said that it's common for people waking up from comas to hallucinate or be confused and stuff. He said I thought I was being abducted by aliens."

You giggle. "By aliens?"

"Mmhmm. I don't remember that but apparently I kept yelling at them to leave me alone so they couldn't probe my mind or whatever."

On one side, that's kind of funny. On the other side, it makes your heart hurt because he was scared. "What else did you hallucinate?" You ask.

"They said that after they told me I was in a coma, I freaked out and thought it had been years since I went under. Apparently that's also common for people to think. But they made sure I knew it had been ten months, not ten years. I... Dr. In says that after I was sane enough to think properly, I asked about you first."

Jimin's eyes meet yours. He looks so sad. "And I went crazy again when they didn't know who you were or what to tell me."

You don't know what to say to that, so you just stare back into his eyes. He licks his lips and laces his fingers with yours, then leans forward and presses his forehead to yours again. You love the feeling of being close to him.

All you want is to hold him and kiss him and press your faces together and hug him and whisper to him and wrap yourself around him completely. You want to kiss his neck and wrap your legs around his waist like a koala and feel his pulse and his breathing and-

You blink and shake the thoughts away. These are the desperate thoughts of a touch-starved girl with separation anxiety. On her period.

You scoot closer to him and wrap your arm around his waist. You bring the hand that's held in his up to your chest and hold it against your heart.

"So what was it like hearing about 2020?" You ask. "That conversation must have been fun."

"Ugh, it was not," Jimin says. "All I could think about was how much worse it probably was for you because of what happened."

"We started doing online school in April," you say. "Because of covid. Which was honestly way later than they should have let us out."

You pout. "We would have gotten to do that together too," you mumble. "We would have gotten to quarantine together."

Jimin squeezes your hand. "Hey, don't think about what we didn't get to do, okay? It's okay."

"You're right," you murmur. "And honestly, at the rate we're going, the pandemic will probably get worse and we'll have to quarantine again anyway."

Jimin smiles. "That's the spirit," he jokes. "We'll just have to play those ten months all over again."

Your smile fades. "It would have been so different with you there," you say. "So much better."

He has no idea how much better.

"While I was gone," Jimin rubs his fingers up and down along your waist, "did you ever think I was dead? Or going to die?" Your shirt moves up and down with his fingers, and after a moment, his pinky comes into contact with your skin, making your breathing stop and your heartbeat speed up.

"Um, I-I didn't want to think that," you stutter, unable to take your mind off of his fingers. Another finger joins his pinky. He doesn't seem to notice. His eyes are closed, completely unbothered.

"But Mrs. Walker told me that if I was going to cope, I should start acting as if you were. Just in case. She didn't think you would live, after what I'd told her."

Jimin's eyes open. "Mrs. Walker?"

His middle finger touches your waist now. He still doesn't seem to notice it.

"My-my psychiatrist."

"Psychiatrist? You had a psychiatrist?"

You nod.

"It was that bad?"

You purse your lips.

"Can-can we not t-"

"Talk about it?" Jimin nods and drops his voice to a hollow whisper. "Okay." Then he frowns. "Your heartbeat is going crazy," he says. You blink. You forgot you're holding his hand to your chest.

"I-I um- that-that's just-"

Jimin realizes his fingers are touching your bare waist and removes them immediately. "O-Oh I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean to-"

"No it- it's- don't stop. I like it."

As soon as the words slip from your mouth, your eyes widen and you turn a dark shade of red. Jimin's expression turns into a grin and he raises his eyebrows at you. "Hm?" He hums. "What was that?"

"It- nothing, I-"

"No no, go on, repeat yourself."

You bring your hands up to your burning face to cover yourself, shaking your head. "I-I didn't-"

Jimin wraps his fingers delicately around your wrists and pulls your hands away from your face, leaning forward into your space to look at you. "Aw, look at you, all red," he purrs. "Don't ever hide yourself, Precious. I want to see you."

You lean back away from him, hands on the mattress behind you so you don't fall back. Your eyes don't leave his for a second. "Wanna tell me what you just said?" He asks, leaning forward more, lips curved up into the hottest smirk you've ever seen.

You've known him for so long but none of that means anything to the butterflies eating your insides like piranhas. You lean back into your elbows and stare up at him shyly. Your legs are still crisscrossed in front of you. You are completely open to him. Vulnerable.

He could tickle you right now and you can do nothing about it.

You're not sure why that is your first thought.

Jimin climbs over the top of you, knees on the mattress next to your ankles, hands on either side of you, holding him up. He lowers himself super close to you and hovers his lips over yours. "Is the precious shy?" He whispers.

You gulp and nod a little, head sinking back. Jimin's little smirk only widens. He licks his lips and kisses you for a short, fleeting moment. His lips trace your jaw up to the side of your face and he kisses the spot right under your ear.

"Tell me again, my love, what you like?" He whispers.

God, you want him to touch you again.

You can't breathe. But it's a good kind of breathless for once. You shut your eyes and let your elbows sink away until your back is flush against the mattress, then wrap your hands around Jimin's tiny waist and pull him closer again.

Every time you find a reminder of how skinny Jimin is now, your heart hurts.

He kisses the spot under your ear again. "Come on now," he murmurs. "Tell me what you want."

You reach for his hand and wrap your fingers around his wrist. "I-I- what- hm... can you-" you pull his wrist and drag it down toward your waist. Jimin lets out a breathy chuckle and pulls his wrist out of your grasp. "Use your words, doll."

Doll. A flurry of thrills travels down your spine.

"I-I want-"

Good lord how did you get here? Just a moment ago you were talking about... actually, you don't remember what you were talking about.

"Mmhmm?"

"I-I like it when you- when you touch me."

If at all possible, your face turns redder. Jimin intertwines his fingers with yours and holds your hand above your head. "Like this?" He mutters.

No. You shake your head. Jimin kisses back down your jaw and all the way to your neck, where his lips open wider and his tongue laves over your throat.

Holy mother of Christ. You close your eyes again and let him work his course. His teeth graze over your skin lightly, making you shiver and wrap your legs around his, free hand going to his hair.

With your legs, you pull his waist right up against yours abruptly. Jimin gasps and stops what he's doing to steady himself. He lifts his head away from your neck, so you open your eyes to be met with his, staring right back at you with an expression in them you've never seen before.

It's a hungry look. Like you're the only thing he wants and nothing could ever stop him from getting to you.

And instead of feeling nervous or worried, you feel alive, as if all of your senses are heightened. Your heart beats so loud and fast and hard in your chest, like it wants to break out of you and become a part of Jimin.

You cup his face, pull him back onto you, and latch onto his lips as if you'll never get to kiss him like this again.

Jimin hesitates at first, surprised that you're taking control now, but melds into you and bends to your will. He's completely empty of those sweet, intoxicating words now, and would be unable to say them anyway because you don't give him a chance to pull away.

He doesn't resist anyway.

Your phone begins to buzz in your back pocket, sending a little shock through you, but you choose to ignore it. You have no time for distractions now. Jimin has your complete undivided attention.

He holds himself up on one elbow while his other hand wraps around your waist. Instead of stopping there, he reaches underneath you to the small of your back. You lift your stomach upward, pressing into him. He trails his fingers upward along your spine. Wherever his hand goes, your back arches up until your entire front side is pressed into him. Your phone isn't buzzing anymore.

You wrap your arms around his shoulders while you kiss, all teeth and tongues and lips and heat and love and hunger and some sort of anxious desperation. You've been starving for this for so long.

Your phone buzzes again.

Ignore.

Keep kissing.

Jimin's hand stays pressed on your back. You sigh into the kiss. You grasp onto his hair and pull- not too harsh but definitely not soft. He gasps and hums with pleasure. He likes that. Good to know.

Your phone stops buzzing.

Your legs are still wrapped loosely around Jimin's thighs, so you tighten them and pull him in as close as possible, pulling at his hair again. He lets out a groan of approval and begins moving from your lips to your jaw.

You crane your neck upward to give him whatever he wants. He goes straight for your collarbone. The moment his warm, wet tongue makes contact with your skin, your fingers tighten around the soft locks of his hair.

Suddenly, Jimin freezes. You bring your faces back together and kiss his plush, swollen lips again.

"Y-Y/n, we-"

"Shh," you hush him. "Don't stop," you whisper. You continue to kiss him more, legs tight around his, hand in his hair, unable to satisfy your craving for him.

Jimin falls back into the kiss for a moment but then tears himself away again. "I-I can't- Y/n, I- oh god," his eyes roll back when you pull his hair again, and he slumps forward. But instead of kissing you again, he just rests his forehead against yours. He's still really tense.

What's wrong?

You tilt your head to meet his lips again but he turns his head away so your mouth meets his neck instead.

"Y/n," Jimin breathes. "I-I need-"

You lower your head and look up at Jimin, eyebrows furrowed. "You good?" You murmur.

"Oh yes, definitely," he says. "J-just a little too good."

What does that mean? You lick your lips. Is he- oh.

God, you were so wrapped up in him that you didn't notice.

Jimin holds completely still, frozen above you, beet red, hard as a rock.

You stare at him with tranquil, unblinking eyes, also a little red.

Somehow, you're not nervous. Maybe because instead of continuing even when you both wanted to, he stopped because he knows you. He gets it. You're still scared of that kind of thing. He would never push you to-

You grab his face and bring him back down for another kiss. Jimin does a double take, falling onto his elbows on top of you, trying to steady himself.

What are you doing? Why aren't you nervous?

Jimin kisses you back the same as before, but then again, after another moment, he pulls away again.

"Y/n, you-"

"It's fine," you whisper. "Don't stop."

"Your phone. It's ringing."

"Ignore it. It's not important." You kiss his chin and lead up his jaw to his ear.

"Y/n," Jimin says again, a little weaker. His eyes are closed, eyebrows furrowed, breathing heavily. "Don't let me get carried away," he whispers hoarsely. He lays his forehead on your chest and shakes his head. "That's a dangerous thing to do right now, love, and I'm sick anyway. We aren't being careful."

You open your mouth to say something, but Jimin lays down on the bed next to you and turns you on your side so you're facing each other. Then he reaches into your back pocket and grabs your phone, looking directly into your eyes with an expression of longing and exhaustion.

"Dangerous?" You mumble. Jimin takes his eyes off of you only to look at your phone for a moment, sitting up. You sit up next to him. When he turns the phone screen toward you, you see that he's FaceTiming your mom.

"She called three times," he says. "You should answer."

You take the phone. "Wait, but-"

"I'm gonna go..." Jimin glances down at... and then looks back up at you. "I'll be right back."

You hardly get the chance to come up with anything to say, because mom answers the phone. You tear your eyes away from Jimin and look at her. She's smiling brightly at you, sitting at the dining room table with the morning sun shining through her window.

"Hey Y/n!" She says. "I missed you! We haven't called yet since you got to Korea."

"O-Oh, yes," you say. You still feel shocked that he ended your little make out session so abruptly. You were really getting into it too. "Uh, yeah. Nothing interesting happened before. But I'm doing okay, and-"

"Yeah yeah I'm glad you're okay. Alright, where is he?"

You blink. Did she just-

Jimin makes a move to get off of the bed but you grab his wrist tightly to keep him from leaving, eyes on your mom. An idea has just been born and you are not going to let Jimin off that easy.

"Ah, Jimin?" You say, smiling back at your mom innocently. "He's right here."

Jimin's eyes widen and he shakes his head vigorously, whispering, "no- Y/n- I have to- oh hi Ms. Y/L/N!" His panicked expression turns into a happy and innocent smile in a millisecond and he waves cutely to the camera.

"Jimin!" Mom squeals. "It's been so long since I've seen your face! Oh my god you're awake and alive and- your hair is so different!" Mom then gasps. "You're so skinny! Look at how hollow your cheeks are! They're not puffy and cute anymore!"

Jimin nods, still smiling, but there is an obvious pain in his eyes. He doesn't want to be talking right now. He wants to leave and take care of what's in his pants.

Too bad.

Look at me being a bad bitch. You think. What a dirty little thing to do.

What happened to shy, timid Y/n? Must be dead. There's a new bitch in town and her name is badass friggin hottie Y/n-

"Oh, heh, I've got a-" Jimin starts, but mom interrupts him. Got a what, Chim? A boner?

Hehe yeah that's because of me. You think.

"Oh my lord look at how pale you are- Y/n did say you were sick- how sick are you? You poor thing, you look so tired and disheveled. You're taking care of yourself right?"

He looks disheveled because of you. You messed up his hair. You're the reason he's only barely holding his expression together. You're the one who kissed his lips swollen.

You smile to yourself, self satisfied, and examine your nails while Jimin talks to your mother.

"I-I am, yes," Jimin says. "I'm trying to get better so I can get out of here soon."

"Okay that's good. As soon as you're not sick anymore, you better eat lots okay? You better not be too skinny when I see you again."

Jimin giggles. "Uh-huh, yes ma'am."

"Where did Y/n go?"

Jimin hops at the chance to give the phone back to you. He turns the phone around and holds the camera in front of your face, ready to let go of it and get up.

You scoot over and sit right next to him, then wrap your hand around his around the phone so he can't let go. You hold the camera up so it gets both of you in the frame.

"I'm right here momma," you say, smiling innocently at her.

"You take care of him okay? Make sure he gets better quickly and eats lots of food."

You nod and wrap your arm around Jimin's shoulders, then kiss his cheek and beam at him. "I will," you say. "Promise." He stares back at you with fire in his eyes. He wants you to let him go so he can do his business.

"Good," mom says. "Anyway, you look a little under the weather too Y/n. You're being careful right? Trying not to get sick?"

You open your mouth to speak, but Jimin beats her to it.

"No she isn't," he reports, looking at your mom. "She isn't being careful at all." He shoots you a look, narrowing his eyes at you and removing your arm from his shoulders. "Back off Y/n, you'll catch my fever."

"Yeah Y/n," mom says. "Don't get sick. I can't have both of my babies suffering."

"It's fine," you say, elbowing Jimin's arm away. "I'm taking enough precautions." You lean into his side and poke his ribs. He flinches and grabs your hand, yanking it toward him. The rest of your body follows your arm and you end up with your head smooshed into his chest.

Jimin hits the mute button on the FaceTime call and hides his mouth in your hair so mom can't see him talking.

"Y/n I swear to god, if you can't be careful, I-"

You swing a leg over his lap and sit your ass down in the crisscross of his long legs. He gasps and his breath gets caught in his throat.

"... am I right?"

You didn't hear what mom said, but Jimin nods, turns off the mute button, and agrees as if he heard her.

"Anyway, you guys need to be extra super careful," mom says. "Hospitals are really dangerous around this time because of the coronavirus. You don't know how many people there have it so be careful okay?"

"Will do," Jimin says. One hand is around the phone, the other is grasping onto the back of your shirt tightly. "I don't leave my hospital room much anyway. I have no reason to."

You smile into his neck. Your face is just barely in the camera, so you kiss his neck and wrap your arms around his waist loosely. Jimin nudges your back and looks down at you. "Y/n, stop-" he stops speaking when you shift in his lap and rest your head on his chest instead.

"That's good," mom says. "Good good. How are you recovering otherwise? I'm talking about your injuries."

"Those are healing slowly too," Jimin says. "Not as slow as the fever, but still slow. They stopped bleeding through my bandages though!"

You trace a finger along Jimin's back absentmindedly.

"Good to hear! I hope you get better soon," mom says. "Anyway, do you remember Gabe?"

You look at the screen to see mom turning the camera just enough to get Gabriel into the frame. Jimin smiles. "I do," he says. "Hi!" He waves at the screen.

"Hi Jimin!" Gabe says. "The girls have been missing you lots since you were gone! Especially Y/n."

Please don't say anything about-

"Remember the hoodie?" Gabe asks, voice softer, turning to your mother to direct the question at her. "That was his right?"

Mom nods. "Yeah. She has one of your hoodies," she says to Jimin. "Wore it almost every day until we had to hide it."

"Hide it?" Jimin asks.

"Yeah," mom says. Her smile fades slowly. "With all the other stuff. Her therapist said to do that. That's the thing we struggled with the most."

You drop your own smile and freeze. Jimin's posture seems to go from rigid to soft within seconds, hand rubbing up and down your back. "Oh," he says softly. "Mmhmm."

"Anyway," mom says. "I'm sure you two would love to stay and talk to us, but we had plans today. This was the only time we could call you."

You look at the camera and nod. "Yeah that's okay," you say. Better if she gets off now so she doesn't spill all of what happened right here while you're still present. "You enjoy your day okay?"

"We will," mom says, smiling again. "You two have a good evening."

You nod and reach up to wrap your hand around the phone.

"I love you guys," mom says. "Buh-bye!"

"Love you too mom, bye."

"Bye Ms. Y/L/N"

You hit the end call button and let go of the phone. Jimin sets it down on the bed. You're not sure what to say. Neither is he for a moment.

"You... had to hide stuff that reminded you of me," Jimin says quietly. You nod.

"Why was that?"

You purse your lips. It was to keep you from going through the pictures and crying your eyes out every night.

You don't say anything.

Jimin continues to rub your back and kisses the top of your head. For a long moment, that's all it is. Just him being gentle with you and you listening closely to his heartbeat to keep yours steady.

Then that moment ends. "Okay, Y/n, I love you," Jimin says. "But I-I need to uh... take care of- you-you know- because-because it hurts a little and- and uh, the-the mood here is a little..."

You climb off of Jimin lap. "Go on," you say. "I'll just be here."

Jimin stands up, then leans over you on the bed and kisses your nose. "S-Sorry," he says.

"That's okay."

"I love you."

You smile a little. "Clearly," you say. You ruffle a hand through his hair. "I love you too."

Jimin smiles and kisses your nose again, then stands up straight and hurries to the door next to the sink that leads to the bathroom.

It's nice that he has a bathroom in here. Means you don't have to go very far to change your pad.

Which you should probably do as soon as Jimin comes out. It's been long enough. Your one and only fear for this week is bleeding out onto something. So you hope that doesn't happen.

Other than that, you need to control yourself. What the hell was that earlier? You don't typically act like that. All you wanted was closer and you managed to make your boyfriend hard in getting closer. Good job. Yippee. Hooray.

At least you know you're not nearly as timid and afraid as you were before.

Bit of an awkward spot to end a chapter but it's fine right? It was getting really long anyway.

Love you guys, hope you have a good day/night!<3

-L