By the time you reach the house, you're thankful because the sooner you get inside and get to the bathroom to shower, the sooner you can take your mask off. It's hard to breathe and your stomach is hurting all of a sudden.

So when Bongcha parks the car and Namjoon opens the door to get out, you spring up and get out of the car as fast as possible. It feels like forever until Minji finally makes it to the front door of the house to unlock the door.

You feel dizzy. The sooner you can get inside, the better. A shower sounds really nice right now, and you wanna get packed quickly so you can hurry back to the hospital.

Minji finally opens the door, and you shoot inside like a bullet and rush to the guest room where your suitcase is. You're too impatient to open it and go through it, so you just pick the whole thing up and drag it to the bathroom across the hall.

Namjoon passes behind you as you own the door and taps your shoulder. "Hey."

"Yeah?" You ask, setting your suitcase down on the tile. Your stomach still hurts. Standing still hurts just as bad as moving around does.

Namjoon hugs you. "Thank you," he says. "I-I didn't know Jimin got that bad."

You smile fades and you nod. "Yeah. He did. I didn't find out about that until the night before Sharon did it."

"Well he's here now and will hopefully never have to feel like that ever again."

You nod. Namjoon ruffles your hair and smiles. "Alright, I won't keep you waiting here. See ya."

Namjoon walks away, so you walk into the bathroom, shoving your suitcase in, and close and lock the door behind you. You set the suitcase on the toilet seat and open it, then grab a towel and start your shower.

•••

Your stomach hurting? Yeah. That's because you've got cramps. You're on your period.

What perfect timing.

At least you started here at Bongcha's house where there are supplies instead of at the hospital where... There are probably also supplies there, but you wouldn't know how to ask for any.

Luckily you have some stuff in your suitcase and you don't need to go ask Bongcha for any.

When you're dressed and refreshed and ready, you drag your suitcase back to the guest room and leave it there, then head out to the kitchen where the girls are. Bongcha smiles at you from behind the stove, where she's working on making rice.

"I'm making kimchi friend rice," she says. "It should be done soon. How are you?"

"I'm good," you say. "How about you?"

"I'm feeling great. Actually, I'm feeling really happy. But I'm always really happy, because my wife is always around." Bongcha glances at Minji, who is cutting vegetables to put into the rice.

"That's so sweet," you murmur. Bongcha stirs the rice and flashes you another big smile.

"I bet you feel the same with Jimin," she says. You blink. "Hm?"

"Happy. With Jimin. With the way you were looking at him earlier, I think a swarm of bees could come into the room and you wouldn't notice."

You smile a little. "Probably not."

"I get how that feels," Bongcha says. "I'd say you're in love."

"I am in love," you say, holding your face in your hands on the counter. "How could I not be?"

Bongcha picks up a pair of chopsticks and uses it to pick up a piece of egg from the rice. Then she extends it to you. "Try it," she says. You close your mouth around the chopsticks and pull the egg off.

"Mmm," you hum. Minji comes over to the stove with a bowl and tips it over above the pan. Diced vegetables dump out of it and Bongcha stirs it all together.

"Will you go get Namjoon?" Bongcha asks. "We can eat now. And then we'll take you back to the hospital."

You nod and get off of your stool, then hurry to the hallway where the rooms are and knock on Namjoon's door. "Food!"

•••

After eating and talking with the others, you get to have another one of those yummy Hotteok thingies before going back to your room to pack some clothes.

Minji provided you with a nice bag that should have enough room for what you need. You manage to fit a stash of pads at the bottom underneath your underwear, a couple of shirts, a pair of jeans, and pajamas that you can rewear a couple of times. Perfect for at least three days.

How long will Jimin be stuck at the hospital for?

You put your charger and your old phone in the bag too. Maybe you can go through your  memories with Jimin later.

After you're packed and ready to go, you hop in the car with just Bongcha and she drops you off at the hospital. She is a very happy and excitable woman.

When you first saw her, all tall and dressed in business clothes, you were a little intimidated. She's really just a ball of energy and sunshine. She's so sweet. She talks about Minji whenever she can, and you can't blame her. You get how that feels. You hit her back with stuff about Jimin. You're both whipped for perfect people.

At the hospital, Bongcha walks with you all the way back to Jimin's room. It's almost 4:30 when you arrive.

Inside, Jimin sitting on the floor by the table, clutching his stomach, laughing at Taehyung, who is hanging upside down from the bed, his face turning bright red. Taehyung is laughing too, and it sounds weird because of his position.

"What in the-" Bongcha says, and then she lets out a giggle. Taehyung is the one who notices you first. He tries to get up immediately but falls onto the floor. Instead of getting up, he rolls onto his back in another fit of laughter.

You would laugh too, but that hurts. Cramps. So you just smile and set your bag down by the door.

"Well hello boys," Bongcha mutters under her breath. Then, louder, she says something in Korean. Jimin turns around, finally noticing your presence. He can't stop laughing and barely manages to squeeze out a sentence.

Bongcha laughs at him. Then she turns to you. "He says 'Who's here? I can't see.'"

And now you're laughing, because you remember that Jimin literally can't see when he's smiling so wide.

At the sound of you laughing, Jimin seems to sit up straighter. "Y/n," he says. He calms down from his laughter until he can open his eyes wider and see you. Taehyung sits up too, also trying to calm down.

Jimin stands up and waddles over to you with his IV bag in tow. He throws his arms around you and holds you tight, smiling wider. "You were gone forever!"

You giggle and wrap your arms around him delicately, careful where they rest on his back. "It was only a couple of hours," you say. "And I've got stuff this time."

It was only a couple of hours but it feels so relieving to be back. You're going to need to work on that. It's like you've got separation anxiety but only with him- and for a good reason too.

You wish you could talk to your therapist about it.

Taehyung stands up and dusts himself off, then comes over to the door and says something to Jimin. Jimin gives him a side hug without letting go of you and says something back. Guess Taehyung's leaving then? You kind of feel bad. He doesn't have to leave. He holds his hand up in front of you for a high-five.

Bongcha smiles and then opens the door back up. "Alright. I guess we'll see you later," she says. "Have a good evening."

"You too," you say back cheerfully. You're so much happier now in the presence of Jimin. You can't help it. Bongcha gives you a knowing smile and together, she and Taehyung leave the room. As soon as the door closes, Jimin pulls his mask down, and then yours, and then kisses you.

So much for trying not to spread the fever.

Oh well. Who cares? You tangle your fingers in his hair and tilt your head. Jimin pushes you gently until your back is against the door, his warm hands cupping your face.

This would feel a lot more blissful and magical and nice if you didn't have terrible cramps.

Jimin pulls away after a long moment but doesn't say anything. His face hovers close to yours, too close to look into your eyes but far enough that you can see his lips.

You let one hand drop to his shoulder while the other one gently pulls his soft hair. Jimin presses his forehead to yours. You close your eyes. His forehead is so hot that you can almost feel the symptoms of his fever through it. You drop your other hand to his other shoulder and take a deep breath.

"I missed you," Jimin murmurs.

"I wasn't gone that long," you say, though you enjoy the feeling of being missed.

"Yeah but it felt like forever."

Do you get as anxious as I do when we're not together? You wonder.

"I missed you too."

Jimin pulls away so you can look at each other. You still can't get over how pale and skinny he is. His lips curve up in a small smile.

"You wanna know something I love about you?"

You blink slowly and meet his eyes. You don't need to say anything, because he tells you his answer.

"Every time I kiss you, you still get that dazed look on your face. Like you can't believe I would do that."

You raise an eyebrow. "What look?"

Jimin does that little hum-giggle thing and his eyes gleam. "You turn pink and your eyes get kinda wider. Your eyes are open but you're seeing something without really seeing."

You mirror Jimin's smile. "I didn't know I made a face," you say quietly.

"You do," Jimin says. "Every time."

You blush. "I love you"

"I love you too." Jimin's smile only grows wider, until a moment of comfortable silence fills the air. That's when his expression turns bittersweet.

"Y/n... about... about the... I just..."

Your smile fades with his. "Yeah?"

"I keep thinking about... some things you said. Before. A bunch of times."

Your eyebrow twitches. "What things?"

"You say things sometimes. About what happened... while I was gone. Without actually telling me what happened. And I-I can't stop thinking about it. Last night you almost had a panic attack. Now I'm scared to get out of bed while you're asleep.

"You won't tell me about Gavin. You told me I would think you were weak just because you were depressed. During one of our phone calls before I got out of my parents house... you said I didn't understand how much you needed me there."

Your expression slowly dissolves from curious and innocent to exhausted and closed off.

Jimin's eyebrows furrow. "What on earth happened to give you nightmares that make you wake up like you did last night? Did-did that happen a lot?"

You lean as far back into the door as possible, shoulders hunching over your form, eyes on the floor. Jimin takes one of your hands in his and laces your fingers together.

"Y/n, talk to me. I-I don't know a thing and I can't stop worrying about you."

Anxious. You feel so anxious.

"I-" your voice breaks and you have to stop and clear your throat before you continue. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Why? Why don't you want to talk about it? Do you still think I'll look at you differently?" He leans down to your eye level, hoping you'll look at him, but you don't. "Because I get that. It took me forever to be able to tell you about almost killing myself. If-If that's what you're afraid of, I can wait until you're ready."

You shake your head. "That's not it," you mumble.

"Then what? I just want to know what happened."

You purse your lips and shake your head. Jimin stands up, letting go of your hand, and pulls at his hair exasperatedly. You can feel the helplessness rolling off of him.

It's the same thing feeling you sensed whenever your mother used to speak to you and you didn't answer. Whenever Mikey came over to sit with you in your room. When your friends tried to urge you to come out of your new shell.

The thing is, the only reason you got that bad was because Jimin was gone. And now he's back. Simple. Everything should be back to normal right?

It's not. It's not normal yet. And it's not Jimin's fault, it's yours.

You don't even know why yourself.

"I- was it- was it that traumatic?" Jimin asks.

Suddenly a flip switches in your brain- maybe it's your period- and you look him right in the eyes.

"Yes, Jimin. It was. You know why it hurt so bad? We fought before you went back. I told you not to go. I told you she would do something terrible to you. And then I watched you get carried out of that house covered in blood with a knife sticking out of your chest." You jab your finger at him, poking the spot where there should be a scar.

Jimin's hands fly to the spot where you poked him, eyes wide and alarmed with your sudden outburst. You don't even know why you're suddenly so angry. Jimin didn't even ask you rudely. He was just curious.

"So yes. It was traumatizing. I spent my time trying to find someone to blame, whether it was you or my mother or Sharon or myself. Maybe you won't think I was weak, but I do. I'm so incredibly disappointed in myself and the way I acted because it was all pointless in the end. All of that time spent blaming everyone and moping around and going to therapy when in the end, you turned out fine."

Jimin swallows, carefully choosing his next words.

"Do you... wish that I-"

"No." You shut him down quickly. You know what he was about to say. "You have no idea how happy I am that you didn't die. You know, I was terrified because I thought if you didn't wake up soon, your parents would just pull the plug and end it all. And there was nothing I could do about that."

The panic begins to edge at your mind, threatening to come in and send you spiraling down a path of remorse and depression. You sink to the floor and put your hands on your head over your ears, tears pooling in your eyes.

"We-we fought and I didn't want that to be our last conversation. But I thought it was going to be. I-I don't- I don't want to argue now."

Jimin crouches to his knees next to you and rubs your back without saying anything. You throw your arms around him and bury your head in his neck. If you cry, you don't want him to see it.

Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't c...

Jimin's hand reaches up and strokes your hair gently. He begins to hum. You pull your head back up to look at him. He doesn't stop. His eyes are closed. You don't know the tune, but it sounds pretty when he hums it.

You put your head back down but lean on his chest instead, right in the middle so you can feel his voice.

You've never calmed down so fast.

After a while, and your joints are stiff from sitting on the floor for to long, Jimin pulls your head up gently and kisses your nose. "Let's go sit somewhere comfier, yeah?" You nod. Jimin stands up and helps you off of the floor. You dust yourself off and follow him to the bed.

Before you climb on though, your stomach hurts really bad and you gasp and hunch over, holding your stomach.

"Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah just- just cramps."

"Oh," Jimin says, shrugging. "Maybe we should have moved off of the floor sooner."

Oh, this precious, innocent boy. He doesn't get it. Maybe that's a good thing. What would you say anyway, without getting embarrassed?

"Yeah..." you trail off. You climb onto the bed and sit across from Jimin. "Hey, I'm warning you in advance, I texted mom earlier and she might call tonight. When she wakes up. She's really missed you."

Jimin's expression brightens up. "R-really? She's gonna call?"

"Uh-huh."

It's like whatever just happened didn't just happen.

Jimin smiles really wide. "I missed her too. Your mom is so nice to me. Although the last time I saw her... that was a little rough."

Yeah. She thought he came over after fighting Gavin again to have sex with you. Even knowing how sensitive you are and why, she really thought you'd let him do that. She doesn't know that Jimin knows too though.

You look down at your hands. "She was ready to let you stay with us for the rest of the year," you say quietly. "What-What if you didn't go back to Sharon's? What do you think would have happened if you stayed?"

"I'm not sure..."

"We-we would have gotten to finish the school year together," you say, suddenly feeling so much sadder. "We- we would have gotten to do Christmas together, and then New Years. And then Valentine's Day."

You sniffle. "And mom would make you sleep in a different room in the house but we'd sneak you into my room so we could cuddle every night. And we would have been able to hang out with Nathan and Cassandra more. And you would have gotten to be there when he proposed to her."

Jimin holds your hands and scoots closer to you. He opens his mouth to say something, but you don't notice.

"And- and we probably would have been able to switch our classes around, since it was a new semester, to have more classes together. And we would- we would have gotten to go to prom, and- and we would have graduated together- and-"

You stop. You can't see through the tears welling up in your eyes. You sniffle again. Don't cry don't cry don't cry.

"I haven't had as much time to think about those things..." Jimin says. His voice is hollow, like he's trying to keep it from breaking. "But you're right. I... I really screwed this one up, didn't I?"

"You... you didn't-"

"No, I did. I really thought that Sharon would just go back to normal and nothing bad would happen."

You don't say anything to that. For a moment, neither of you do.

"We can't get those things back," Jimin murmurs. "But we can do most of those things this year. Christmas. New Years. Cuddling. I won't need to sneak into your room or anything because we're together anyway. And I didn't graduate with you, or go to prom with you, but..."

Jimin trails off as he realizes how much he really did miss. But then he cups your face and pulls you up to look at him.

"At prom, we would have just danced and talked and kissed," he says, a small smile on his lips. "We can talk right now, and kiss, and if you want, I will dance with you right here right now. Or any other time."

You match his smile and nod excitedly. "Maybe not right now," you say, picking up the cord hanging from his arm. "Because this would get in the way, but yes. I really wanna dance with you."

Jimin leans in and kisses you. One of his hands drops from your face to grab your hand and lace your pinkies together. "Then I owe you a dance," he whispers into your mouth. "And I promise you'll get one."

•••

April 3

I went private on all my social media accounts today. Someone with the same name as my father liked one of my old Instagram posts and I freaked out. I wonder if it was actually him. I told Lily and she went private too.

Also, mom helped me put away all of the stuff that reminds me of Jimin. We put his hoodie and my old phone and the pictures and stuff into a bin and mom put it high up in my closet where I can't reach it.

I mean if I need to, I will find a way to get it down. But I'm trying my hardest not to spend every night watching old videos and crying. I used to do that a lot. But now it happens few and far between, thanks to therapy.

Gavin keeps getting worse everyday. I want to know what goes on in his mind to make him think that it's okay to treat this whole thing with Jimin as if it's something I'll just... get over. He won't stop touching me in classes and begging to talk to me alone and I'm getting more and more scared. Nathan almost punched him during lunch today when he came and started harassing me.

I want this to end. I want Jimin back. Why can't he just wake up?

Hello, sorry for another later chapter hehe. I feel like this one isn't that good, but that's because there's a lot of space I need to fill between events. There will probably be a few time skips between chapters since I won't be writing about every single day at the hospital until Jimin isn't sick anymore.

Anyway have a good day/night!<3

-L