I got somewhere around three hours of sleep and some bad naps between (and during) all of my classes, so I'm super tired, but I tried to edit this the best I could.

You slowly wake up to the sound of voices. They're not talking in English. One of them belongs to Jimin, so you know he's still there, and you can go back to sleep.

What time is it? How long have you been asleep?

You open your eyes. Jimin is sitting on the edge of the hospital bed, talking to the doctor from yesterday, hand held in yours. The doctor holds a clipboard and a pen and stands right next to a cart with medical tools.

The doctor looks at you and smiles, then says something to Jimin. Jimin turns his head around and sees you.

"Ah joheun b- ugh bleh- good morning precious," Jimin says. You blink slowly and smile a little. "Morming- morning."

"Dr. In is just giving me the daily checkup."

You nod, eyes closing. "Mmhmm."

Don't fall asleep. You open your eyes back up. The room is so bright and white and blinding that you have to squint and blink until your eyes adjust.

Dr. In says something and Jimin turns back toward him to answer. The checkup carries on. Jimin squeezes your hand as if telling you he's not ignoring you. You smile lazily. The doctor puts his clipboard away and pulls out a thermometer.

Your eyes finally start to get used to the bright light, so you sit up and scoot closer to Jimin. He glances at you while the doctor eyes the thermometer screen at his temple.

After it beeps and the doctor calls out a temperature, Jimin groans and tilts his head back in frustration.

"What does it say?" You ask. The doctor shows you the little screen. 103 degrees Fahrenheit. Your eyes widen. "That-that's really bad!" 

Jimin nods. "It was at 104 yesterday, so it's a little bit better," he mumbles. "But it was 104 the entire time I've been here."

"It's passing really slow..." a new worry presents itself to your conscience and your eyes widen again. "You don't think you have coronavirus, do you?"

The doctor seems to understand the word "coronavirus" and shakes his head at you, then says something in Korean. Jimin looks at him while he speaks and then turns to you to translate.

"It was one of the first things they tested me for when I got here. I don't have it."

"So it's just a really bad fever?"

"Yeah. It'll pass. Eventually."

You nod. "That's good."

The doctor puts his thermometer away and grabs his stethoscope from around his shoulders.

Your phone buzzes on the nightstand. Wordlessly, Jimin reaches over, grabs it, and hands it to you, leaving a kiss on your cheek. You stare down at the phone.

Kieth is calling.

You sigh. He's calling now?

To be quite fair, he hasn't heard much from you. The only time you text anyone is if they text you first, and mom and Cassandra have been the only ones to check in with you for the past couple of days. You haven't talked to Kieth once.

You answer the call and bring the phone up to your ear. "Hello?"

"Hey! Y/n! Is this a good time? I researched the time zones and right now it should be... almost ten for you? In the morning?"

You check at your phone. 9:48.

"Yeah. What is it there?"

"Not important. Anyway, I wanted to ask how you were doing. We haven't talked much. How's Korea? Are they really that much better there at dealing with a pandemic?"

"Yeah. Loads better. It makes America embarrassing." You let go of Jimin's hand to stretch out your arm. He glances back at you as you lean back a little and let out a yawn. When you bring your hand back down, you find Jimin's hand again  and hold it. "And the food here is better."

Jimin turns his head to give you another quick glance- he has the hints of a smile on his face.

"That's nice. How are you holding up? Are you good?"

"Very good actually."

For a moment Kieth doesn't say anything. But then he asks the question, sounding almost nervous about it.

"Did you find him?"

You purse your lips and look at Jimin. The doctor has one of those blood pressure thingies wrapped around his arm.

"Yes," you say, kind of quiet. "I did."

Pause.

"Is- is he okay?"

"He's alive, if that's what you're asking."

Pause. Jimin shoots you another curious glance. He knows you're talking about him.

"Aw that's great! You should send me a picture of him so I know what he looks like. I still don't know who he is."

You smile a little. "Will do."

"Alright. Um, Mr. Shroeder misses having you work at Starbucks. And uh, the other coworkers have been curious about your absence. I just said you had to quit. didn't know what to tell them."

"Yeah? That's fine. They don't need to know anything."

"I-I have a question."

"Shoot."

"If-if I didn't find out about Jimin the hard way, would you have told me before you left?"

If he didn't watch you have a breakdown in the middle of nowhere over Jimin, would you have said anything to Kieth?

Probably not.

You look up at Jimin as the doctor pulls the strap off of his arm and records the data on his clipboard. Jimin lets go of your hand for a moment to turn himself around on the bed. Then he holds it again in his other.

He has absolutely no idea what happened to you while he was gone.

How long can you keep that a secret?

"I don't know," you say. "I might have. It's hard to decide."

"Okay. I was just curious. Hey, text me more often okay? I just wanna know what's going on."

"Okay."

"And... when you get back, I really wanna meet him."

"You will. Promise."

"Okay sweet. I would love to stay and talk to you, but I'm sure you're busy right now."

Not really.

"Yeah."

"Right then. Have a good day, I'll talk to you later, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, see ya, call me later, bu-bye!"

"Night."

You hang up the phone. That was nice. Just a quick check in.

You set your phone down and look at Jimin. His doctor is standing behind him, holding Jimin's shirt up to examine his bandages. Jimin shakes your hand. "Who was that? Mom? Lily?"

"No. You actually don't know this guy yet."

"Oh. What's his name?"

"Kieth. He was my coworker at Starbucks. He was really worried about me going on this trip."

"Mm," Jimin hums. Then he tenses up really bad and whips his head around to say something to the doctor in Korean.

You lift your phone up and point the camera at him, grinning. "Say cheese."

Jimin turns back toward you, alarmed, but before he has a chance to react, you take the picture. Grinning wider, you open the photo and...

"Oh come on," you whine, now pouting. "I can't take a bad photo of you. You're literally perfect."

Jimin giggles. "No I'm not."

"Oh shut- look at this."

You turn your phone so he can see. He leans forward ever so slightly to look at it. Then laughs again. "I have a secret I've never told you," he says.

"What secret?"

"There's a photogenic angel watching over me so that I never get caught in bad photos."

"Pfft, just admit you're perfect and go."

"I'm telling you. There's an angel. Anyway, what's the photo for?"

"I'm recording the journey," you say, grinning and looking back at your phone. "Also Kieth wants to know what you look like."

"He's never seen pictures?"

Your smile fades. No. He hasn't. He didn't even know about Jimin's existence until this month.

"That-that's because..." you trail off. How do you say that you never told Kieth about Jimin until recently?

The doctor taps Jimin's shoulder and says something. Jimin turns back around to talk to him. Guess the check up is about done now.

You send the photo to Kieth and turn your phone off. The doctor quickly packs up his things while he talks to Jimin.

"Hey, Dr. In is sending food up from the cafeteria. Want anything?"

You shake your head. You're not that hungry at the moment.

"I'm good."

"You sure?"

You look down at your phone, which lights up with a message from Kieth.

"Mmhmm."

Jimin relays that to Dr. In, who nods and then pushes his cart full of tools out of the room.

You look at Kieth's message.

Kieth

Oh my god he's literally a piece of art
I see why you missed him so much

I didn't miss him because he's pretty. You think inwardly. You frown at the phone and turn it off. You missed Jimin because he's the love of your life. And you depend on him for... a lot.

Jimin scoots back to his original spot on the bed next to you. "Hey," he says softly. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Just... thinking about... I dunno, stuff."

"What kind of stuff?"

You shrug, feeling helpless and unsure of what to say. How do you even say what's on your mind? Kieth actually had no idea you existed until a couple weeks ago. Isn't that just hilarious. Oh- why? Because I couldn't bare to say anything about you without turning into a messy, emotional disappointment.

"Just... stuff," you say. "Um... from before now. Before uh, before I knew if you were okay."

Jimin places his chin on your shoulder and looks up at you. "I love you," he says quietly. You smile a little. "I love you too. Now let's make a plan for today."

"Sleep," Jimin says quickly. He closes his eyes. "I'm exhausted."

"Okay, we'll have some time designated for napping. But I'm sure the others want to see you. We should let them come over- at least some of them. I know Taehyung really missed you."

Jimin smiles. "I missed him too. Can we just- can we sleep now and then call them later?"

A grin spreads wide across your face. "Yeah. Do you need to take any medicine first?"

"Nurse is gonna bring it up with breakfast."

"Okay then let's wait a little bit."

Jimin pouts. "Okay." He wraps his arms around you and closes his eyes again, snuggling his head into your shoulder comfortably. "You know, we really should be more careful, because of my raging fever," he says. "I didn't think that would be so hard, but it is."

"Forget the fever."

"But what if you get it?"

"What difference does it make? Who am I gonna spread it to?"

"Not the point. Fevers suck. I've got a really bad head ache and my throat hurts and god, the puking, and- and you do not wanna catch this."

You kiss the top of Jimin's head and bring a hand up to mess with his hair. "Yeah?" You say. "That sucks. I'm still not going anywhere though, so looks like I'll just have to catch the fever or develop an immunity."

Jimin sighs. "I wish none of this happened."

"What, the fever?"

"All of it. If I never ran away from Sharon the first time she got bad, she wouldn't have gotten so pissed."

"She was already pissed," you say, suddenly feeling defensive. You don't like where this is going. You haven't opened your mouth and talked about this... ever. "If you didn't come to my house that night we don't know what would have happened."

"No but... she might not have tried to kill me."

"Chim, did you see how bad those wounds were?" You feel your heart beat speed up and anxiety rise like bile in your throat. "If you didn't run away from that house-"

"I would probably have a chance to survive and not get put in a coma."

"Yeah but- but running to my house was not the cause of that." You can't help the stinging behind your eyes. "If anything, you shouldn't have beat Gavin up. That's what got Sharon so pissed in the first place."

Jimin lifts his head up and looks straight at you, eyebrows furrowed.

"I beat him up for a good reason. I don't regret it at all and and I wouldn't change anything. He shouldn't have come near you."

"Yeah well look where that got you."

"Are you saying I should have let him touch you?"

"I-I'm saying maybe there was another way."

"Not with Gavin," Jimin says. He has a frown on his face. "He would have still kept trying and trying if I didn't fight him."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do, that's how he works, Y/n-"

"Then why didn't he stop, Jimin?" You say, your voice raised. "If-If that was all it took to get him to leave me alone, then why didn't he?"

Jimin's eyes widen and he swallows, unable to say anything. He doesn't know what happened. He wasn't there. He doesn't even know the half of it. If he didn't beat Gavin up, Sharon wouldn't have had the urge hurt him so bad. Simple as that.

"So-so he did bother you again, didn't he," Jimin mutters. "He didn't leave you alone."

You don't want to talk about that. You fold your arms.

"Y/n, what did he do while I was gone?"

Nothing. Shut up. Leave it alone.

"Y/n, please talk to me. What did he do?"

You don't answer. You stare at the blanket covering your lap instead.

"Was it bad? Did he hurt you?"

Stop. I won't answer.

Jimin wraps his fingers delicately around your chin and lifts your head up. With his other hand he brushes your hair out of your face and holds your cheek. "What did he do?"

You move your head out of his hands, then away from him, and you lay down facing the windows. You grab your phone and toss it behind you to his lap. "If you wanna call your friends, go ahead."

"Y/n..." Jimin places a gentle hand on your shoulder.

You shut your eyes. Please stop talking about it.

Jimin sighs. "I... please, I..."

Silence.

"Okay. It's okay. I'll just..." he pauses for another moment. Then he leans over you and kisses your temple. "Sleep well, Precious," he murmurs by your ear. "I love you."

I love you too.

•••

You didn't know that you would actually fall asleep, but when you wake up again, it's because there are visitors in the room, attempting to talk quietly but failing miserably. And you can't understand any of it.

You open your eyes and sit up again.

Everyone. Everyone is in the room. Namjoon, Taehyung, Minji, and Bongcha. The girls are on the couch and Taehyung and Namjoon are on pillows on the floor. They're all wearing face masks. Even Jimin.

What time is it? Jimin is still sitting where he was earlier, and he's still holding your hand. He looks at you, realizing you're awake, and hands you your phone.

It's 11:56. You've got a few texts from mom.

You'll answer those later.

You set your phone back down onto the bed and rub your eyes with your free hand. Jimin hasn't let go of your hand once. At least, not since your nightmare last night when he got up for water.

Jimin reaches over to the nightstand again and grabs something, then hands it to you. It's a face mask. You take it and put it on.

"Ah, good morning Y/n," Namjoon says. "Jet lag still bugging you?"

You nod, sitting up. "When did you guys get here?"

"About thirty minutes ago," Bongcha says. "Jimin didn't want us to wake you up yet."

"Oh. It would have been okay, I can sleep later." You say.

No actually, thank you for letting me sleep. You think. I was so tired still.

You wrap your arms around Jimin's arm and scoot closer to him. You'd rather forget your mini argument ever happened and just... be happy. It's been ten months. The last thing you wanna do is argue.

Your last conversation with him before it happened was an argument.

The others continue to talk. You lean your chin on Jimin's shoulder. When he speaks, you feel his voice vibrate. You stare up at the side of his face. His jawline is prominent, if not sticking out, and his cheeks are hollowed and shiny. He's so pale. And skinny. He needs more food.

Which is difficult to get into him when he's sick. He hasn't complained about throwing up much, and he did seem hungry yesterday... so hopefully, he'll recover fast.

Jimin says something again, and watching his jaw move is somehow so distracting, you could probably watch him talk for hours. There's something about him speaking in an entirely different language that strikes you as attractive. You have absolutely no idea what he's saying, and it's hot for some reason.

Mesmerizing.

You blink slowly.

You didn't say "I love you" back to him earlier. Stupid. Why would you ignore something like that?

"Hey," you whisper, when Jimin isn't speaking. He turns his head to look at you. Your faces are so close your noses almost touch through the white masks. His gaze locks onto yours.

"I love you," you murmur. Jimin leans forward and bumps his forehead with yours lightly. "I love you too," he says. He turns his head back to the others to continue the conversation.

Wait don't look away. When your gazes pull apart, you feel your heartbeat speed up. Why do I feel so anxious?

You just woke up. You're fine. You're alive. You're wrapped around Jimin's arm like a koala. He's here. He's not going anywhere. He's staying.

Jimin pulls his arm out of your grasp and instead drapes it around you, his fingers wrapping around your upper arm. He rubs his fingers along your arm absentmindedly, pushing your sleeve up and letting it drop again.

You don't know what to do with your hands now. They clasp together tightly in your lap. Your chin remains on Jimin's shoulder, eyes shifting between the room full of people and the way Jimin's jaw moves when he speaks.

The conversation switches between English and Korean smoothly from time to time so that you can understand what's being said. It's mostly just them talking about their memories of Jimin (with the exception of Bongcha of course) before he left for America.

You like listening to what they say. For one thing, Jimin told you before that Minji transferred to highschool and got bullied because she's a lesbian.

From the way Jimin explained things to you before, you'd just assumed Taehyung made friends with her first. But Bongcha told you otherwise. Jimin was the first one to talk to Minji because she was eating lunch alone on her first day at school.

The conversation ended up touching over what Jimin was like in the weeks leading up to his trip to America. He seemed to get sadder and sadder at the same time that he got more and more excited to leave.

And now all of his friends know why that was.

The most shocking part of the conversation, to you, was when Jimin opened up about how bad he got after arriving in America and meeting Sharon. He even told them about how he got suicidal- though he left out the part where he almost did it. Which you understand.

Jimin's friends were shocked. They didn't know how bad it really was. And now they do. And that brings a whole new understanding to the significance of you meeting him.

The entire time he explained it, your hands only squeezed tighter and tighter together until your knuckles turned white. It's a touchy subject. You weren't suicidal yourself, but talking about it now makes you realize that you weren't that much different for the past year than what he was like before you gave him your number.

Eventually, at around two pm, a nurse comes in to notify you that he needs to bring food in for Jimin, and that everyone should clear out and go home for the day, since he needs rest. 

Bongcha pulls you aside for a hug at the door. "I just realized that you had to sleep in those clothes," she says. "Come on, we can take you home so you can wash up, have a nice meal, and change clothes."

You look at Jimin, who's sitting on the bed talking to Taehyung. They look so happy to be talking to each other.

I don't want to leave him here though. You think.

"What-What about Jimin?" You ask. "He'll be alone."

"I figured you would want to stay here again tonight, so we can bring you back when you're all fresh and ready, and this time you can bring clothes back with you. Taehyung can stay with him while we're gone."

You purse your lips and glance at Jimin again. You don't want to be apart from him at all, but you will need to get used to that. He's alive and well, and nothing is going to happen to him. What's a small trip back to Bongcha's house gonna do?

Plus, she's right. You haven't changed out of these clothes since yesterday, and you should take a shower and wash up. Namjoon strides over to you and Bongcha while Minji heads over to Jimin.

"What's up?" He asks. "We should leave soon. I've nurse is right. Jimin needs to rest."

You nod and look at Bongcha. "Okay," you murmur. "I'm gonna go tell him."

Bongcha smiles and nods, and you head over to the bed where Jimin is talking to his friends to stand awkwardly behind Minji and wait.

Jimin notices you as soon as you get there.

"I'm gonna go back with them so I can change and stuff," you say. "I'll be back okay?"

Jimin nods and makes grabby hands for you. You give him a hug. "I love you," he murmurs. He kisses your cheek through the mask and lets you go. You give him a small smile, which he can see through your eyes. "Love you too, see you soon."

You grab your phone off of the nightstand- Jimin will have Taehyung if he needs to contact you- and make your way to the door.

Minji follows you and together, the two of you along with Namjoon and Bongcha exit the room and leave the hospital to go back to the girls' house. The second you leave and every single moment after that, anxiety builds in your chest and it takes all you have to choke it down.

You'll see Jimin again tonight. He's still okay. Worst case scenario, you just call Taehyung's phone to check in. But you won't need to do that. They're okay. He's okay.

And you're okay too.

Sorry my updates have been so slow lately. I've been struggling with school and the lack motivation to do anything (including taking care of myself) but I'm trying my best to get past that. Thank you for being patient with me. If I can't update every few days, I'll try not to make you wait for more than a week.

Have a good day/night!<3

-L