✧

As busy as I have been this week, I know when someone is avoiding me. That person being Luca. When I attempt to swing by after closing, the shop is shut and he's already at home saying that he's tired.

I've been helping my brother with the launch of his new business app over the last few days because he's struggling big time. I've told him he needs to get his shit together but I know it's not easy with a young one. I don't want to see him crash and burn either, he's worked so hard on this project.

The only downside is I haven't had a lot of time in the day to see Luca at the cafe.

We've texted here and there but nothing substantial. I've been trying to make a date to see him but he's being difficult and I can only presume that something has happened. He's avoiding me on purpose. For what reason? I don't know.

I finish up my paperwork at my home office around midday, I head over to Chessman's when I know I'll catch Luca working, Aris will most likely be there too. This time he can't make any lame excuses.

If it's about the cafe, payments, whatever–I'll have to talk some sense into him.

We've spent too many months working on this relationship to let it crumble out of bad communication. I want to be able to talk about our issues and I certainly told Luca not to lie to me again, keep things from me. He learnt the hard way and I won't be as kind the second time.

I press my hand to the door of the cafe and listen to the bell ring above my head. It's not busy but I can spot Luca as he makes a coffee for a customer standing at the end of the counter.

The door swings shut behind me as I walk over to them. Luca places the drink down and smiles as the person takes it, thanking them and wishing them a good day. He glances in my direction and his curved lips dip a little.

"Hey," I say as I stroll in.

"Hi," he squeaks before turning his back on me and pretending to do something on the other side of the counter. "Can I get you anything?"

I quirk a brow and fold my arms over my chest. "Yeah you can answer this," I say as I study the back of his head. "Why are you avoiding me?"

His shoulders stiffen as he shakes his head. "I haven't. I-I'm not."

My lips press into a thin line. He shakes his head as he continues doing whatever he's pretending to do. I haven't fully seen him since the other night, since I came home and he cooked me dinner, since I said–

Shit. I blink once and then twice. My hands lean onto the counter. I take down a deep breath as he turns an inch towards me but keeps his eyes away. "Is it because I said I love you?"

If I thought his shoulders were tense before, they're like stone now. He says nothing, as if he's frozen in place and has no idea what to say–stunned.

"Because I do, Luca. I love you."

The words don't feel like a confession, I've felt like this for a long time. I kept quiet because I didn't know if he was ready, I didn't want to push him away because I know what his previous dating history has been like.

But after that beautiful dinner, the back massage, the way he stared into my eyes whilst we were intimate. It was on the tip of my tongue, it's been that way for a while. I had to say it, it felt right.

Loving him feels right. It has always felt right. Even when I wanted to deny my attraction towards him. And finally saying it makes me realise just how much I love him–he's the best thing that has happened to me.

Luca doesn't look at me instead he pushes off the spot he was standing and makes his way to the back room. Instinctively I follow him because I need to know what's going on in that brain of his right now. Have I scared him off? I know how much he cares about me.

He stops when he reaches the shelves of stock, his head lowering as if he's trying to control his breathing. I don't think twice as I wrap my arms around him from behind, my height towering over him as I rest my chin on his head. "What's the matter, Luca? Tell me. Don't ignore me. Don't push me away."

When he shakes his head I realise this is deeper than I first anticipated. His entire body shakes against mine and I hate that he's shutting down right now. I bend my head and press a delicate kiss to his neck, right above his pulse that is rattling against my lips. He says nothing again and I silently sigh.

"Are you not ready for this? Are we going too fast?" I ask, dropping my tone to a hush.

After a few seconds Luca turns to face me and I can see the reservation in his eyes instantly. So much anxiety and insecurity. It makes my stomach feel like I've ingested barbed wire. I don't ever want to see him like this. This isn't my outgoing, bubbly Luca. This is him going inside himself and not opening up.

I need him to open up and tell me the truth.

My hands extend and I cup his face but as soon as I do his eyes drop low. "Talk to me," I whisper. "You can always talk to me, Luca. I'm a big man, you can be honest with me. I can take it."

Luca extends his tongue to lick along his lips, taking a shallow breath. "People say things during sex that they don't mean," his hands shake and he clutches onto his apron between us. "Emotions are high. I just–" he cuts himself off. "I just–"

"You what?" I encourage him when he turns silent.

His eyes close and he squeezes them so tight that I fear what's going on in his head right now. "I keep thinking that this is too good to be true," he says quietly. "You going out with someone like me? That never happens in the real world."

I crease my brows. "Why wouldn't it?

Luca's expression twists to something of pain, as if he's thought of this a thousand times. "Because you're successful and flourishing in life. I'm just some lousy cafe barista who can barely pay their own rent."

"And what does any of that have to do with anything?" I ask desperately. My thumb swipes across his cheek in a soft caress. "I still fell in love with you, Luca."

"Oh God," he whimpers. "That word."

I dip my hand under his chin and tilt his gaze to mine. "Why is that word triggering you?"

His beautiful blue eyes that are full of sadness that I want to wipe away, prove to him that he has nothing to be worried about. It makes me feel so nauseous I can barely stand up straight. "My entire life I've been convinced no one could ever love me for the way I am," his voice waivers and it shatters me to a million pieces. "And you saying it... it's made me realise that this is real, so fucking real. It can be ripped from me within a matter of seconds and I'll be left with nothing but my broken heart that I gave you."

"Luca," I whisper, pressing my forehead to his. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

A tear rolls down his cheek and I push it away before he gets the chance to. "Why?"

"Why?" I repeat. "Because you came into my life when I least expected it. You sparked up this old heart that I thought was done with relationships and love because I had no time to spare. But you let me in with your kindness and generosity, always welcoming me with that warm smile. It was hard not to fall in love when you have given me all the reasons to."

"I'm no one special," he shakes his head, dismissing my words.

I press a kiss to his cheek, a deep blush spreading over his skin. "You are to me," I say with so much sincerity it makes my heart ache. "You are the most important person in my life. If I lost you I–" my words become caught in my throat.

Luca's eyelashes flick upwards as he watches me. The words almost too difficult to say because imagining a life without him. It fucking aches so much that I want to hold him close to my chest at the thought.

"I wouldn't be the person I am without you, Luca," I clear my throat.

His lips tremble. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"Being an emotional mess," he steps back and I miss the warmth of his body already as my arms drop to my sides. He wipes away his tears and inhales a breath, his shoulders raising in the process. "I freaked out when you told me. It's hard to believe someone could love me when I know how much of a mess I am."

I shake my head vigorously. "You are not a mess. You are perfect."

"You don't mean that," he whispers with such pain that I wish I could make it all better.

"I do," I step forward to cup his cheek again. "I really do."

Luca remains silent for a few moments. I give him the chance to speak but when he doesn't for a few moments, I open my mouth instead. "I get that you still have insecurities running around your head but I will be here to support you and get you out of this mindset. I want you to see yourself how I see you. I get it's not going to happen instantly, but I'm ready to do what I need to do. So I can be the best boyfriend for you."

"Fuck," he chokes. "Don't make me cry."

My lips slant to the side. "You're already crying."

"I know," he sighs and presses his face further into my hand.

"What can I do to help?"

Luca shakes his head. "It's nothing you can do, it's what I need to do."

"Okay, but if you ever need anything, I'm right here. Always."

He flashes a small smile but it's weak and fading around the edges. "I know," he says softly. "I just need to get out of my head."

"Do you need space from me?" I pull back.

His eyes flare with shock, lips parting as if he's deliberating what to say."I–" he starts, his throat clenches. "No. I don't want space."

"Okay," I nod once. "Well do you want to come over tomorrow? Nick is forcing me to help with his app again tonight and Elodie doesn't let me leave without spending some time with her."

Luca drags his tongue over his bottom lip. "Sure," he says.

"I've missed you." I lean forward to press a kiss to his forehead. "A lot."

"I've missed you too," he admits. "I've just been pushing everything away. I'm sorry."

I grip his shoulder and tug him into my chest. "Don't push me away anymore. I want you to feel comfortable with me."

"I do," he nuzzles his head into the crook of my shoulder. "It's my head that isn't catching up. It will come with time, like you said."

My hand cups the base of his neck, I close my eyes and devour this moment. His warm body folded into my chest, my arms wrapped around him to keep him safe. If only I could dip into that mind of his and show him how amazing he truly is.

"Do you want to stay for a bit?" He suggests, pulling away but keeping his hands on my arms. "I can make you a coffee."

The corners of my lips tilt upwards. "Of course. I always want to spend time with you."

✧

Read the rest of this book, bonus chapters and Nick's story which are both COMPLETED over on Patreon and Ream!

www.reamstories.com/savannaroseauthor
www.patreon.com/dreammcatcher
Link is also in my bio!

Author's Note

Owwww man, this chapter tugs on my heart strings🥺🥺🥺

What did you guys think??👉🏼

I love Declan being bold and saying how it is🫶 my communication king

I get Luca's insecurities always come out to play, it breaks me to pieces😭

Don't forget to vote and comment! it makes my day ✨

Love Savanna x

Insta: savannaroseauthor
Patreon: dreammcatcher
Ream: savannaroseauthor
Tik Tok: savannaroseauthor