Silvery droplets came out from my eyes, the ones that mirrored my heart, the ones that come after the storms. Same ones after when you were gone.

I saw you on that day.

I dropped down on my knees, screamed with all my might. Sobbed and begged.

I knew, I could not tell you, how beautiful you looked. So beautiful even the sun hid behind the clouds in shyness.

You looked like an angel in the white gown. I wish I could tell you now...

How many years it was?

Twenty years...

Had it been so long, that you forget about me?

Do you still remember that day when we went to the book fair? No makeup. No lipstick. Just a casual T and jeans. But I dolled myself with that mascara, and that expensive lipstick just because I would be with you.

I didn't know why I was so excited. So excited that I even forgot about my fever. One hundred two degrees didn't do any justice, I guess.

It didn't matter how my head throbbed or my eyes burned and that dizziness. All faded away when you came like a light to my darkness. With you, I felt like someone, as if summer ray washed me in coldness.

I didn't know about the sudden nervousness either so I brought along my brother. I was stupid.

It was really embarrassing when my heels just chose that day of all the days to break. You smiled maybe laughed at my clumsiness but you didn't notice the redness of my ears and the idiotic face that looked at you with awe.

You helped me but my mind was on another universe where only two people were its resident. I was glad I had spent my time with you. Oh! I could not tell you that either.

I was afraid. I was scared. I was a coward.

Your large liquid brown eyes held such intelligence and serenity that it was impossible for me not to be held prisoner by them. Your cheekbones weren't especially high and your nose was a little too long to be perfect, but there was undeniable symmetry to your features and perhaps that's what held me so captivated. Your long black hair was fluid, lying gently over your shoulder bones, kissing your soft skin. It was all I could do not to stutter and blush when you had addressed me from the first time.

I should have told you that I liked you from the first day when I met you in our senior year. That day everything had stopped. The time, the students around us, the air. My breathing.

My eyes remained only on you. You made me breathless each time you looked at me. You never knew how much you affected me. Your one look could do wonders in my being: heart flattering; cheeks reddening; mind full of blankness; goosebumps on all over my skin. I was a mess. Messed up by you.

That prom night, when we were crossing the street you hold my hand and you'll never know, how my breath got hitched and your touch sent me a spark — a jolt of lightning maybe. I knew from that moment, you were my other half. My torn apart piece that needed to be placed together.

But I was bound by that invisible rope. The rope of society.

I couldn't have the guts to tell you that I loved you.

I knew you would reject.

I was afraid of rejection.

And I got married. I saw a sad smile on your face when I said, I was getting married.

Maybe it was my imagination.

I should have asked...

I got a lovely husband and a beautiful toddler. But that void of not telling you became bigger by the years.

Now, it is my turn to follow you the same path you followed. That day, you looked lovely in that white dress waiting for death to take you away. Away from me.

I was shattered into pieces that I couldn't count.

Now you're dead, resting six feet under the grave.

I wish I could tell you.

I loved you, Praise.

                      - Your Merry