renjun stood frozen in the middle of the convenience store, completely dumbfounded by the scene that had just happened to the point he was even starting to doubt it was real. surely that his mind played him tricks because of tiredness, this had made him imagine things, as for example jeno taking his defence and getting mad a someone.

the more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a dream.

bumping into a guy after losing his balance for the nth time today – he had barely slept that night, just like the past nights.

the guy accusing him of stealing his phone when renjun wasn't awake enough to even be able to type his own password properly.

his voice getting louder and his words getting harsher; words that renjun couldn't process well by the way as his brain had seemed to decide that it wouldn't function properly that day.

and then jeno appearing, pushing the man away multiple times, defending renjun and threatening the guy until he left.

yeah, there was no way all of that could happen. not to renjun who usually couldn't keep his mouth shut and defend himself whenever something or someone bothered him. certainly not to renjun who constantly had to reassure his ex-boyfriend, help him getting more self-confident and defend and protect him from assholes.

but if there was no way all of that could happen, then why would chenle be standing by his side as shocked as he was?

"a-are you o-okay?"

jeno's honey voice broke him out of the daze he had falling into, bringing him back to a reality which definitely didn't feel real.

"d-did he hurt you, r-renjun?"

it felt weird hearing his name coming from jeno's mouth after two weeks of being separated.

actually, it felt weird seeing his ex-boyfriend after two weeks.

it just allowed him to realise how much he loved the boy, and how stupid he had been for breaking up with him. right now, the only thing renjun wanted was to pull the boy in an endless embrace and kiss every inch of his body like he owned him.

"no." renjun cleared his throat, his heart feeling all fuzzy and weird as he glanced at the taller boy he had helplessly fallen in love with years ago. "no, he didn't hurt me."

jeno hummed, nodding his head slowly as he looked everywhere except at the chinese male that he would need to talk to.

being ultra-aware of both the thick tension in the air and the point to which renjun and jeno needed to have a talk together, the younger chinese male coughed lightly before flashing the two boys a smile.

"oh, look at that, your shift has just ended, jun!" he started, patting the boy's back. "you should definitely hang out with jeno for a while, huh? since he's already here and doesn't seem like he has anything to do." he finished looking at jeno with a look that said 'go talk with him right now'.

"y-yeah..." renjun stuttered, glancing at jeno who was as shy as he was.

"great!" chenle smiled brightly. "you guys can have a talk in the break room while i take the shift!" he continued, pushing the two boys lightly to lead them to the break room. "and don't come out until you have your stuff sorted out!" chenly finally said before slamming the door shut and leaving the two other boys in an awkward silence.

and god, did this awkward silent last for long.

after a few minutes of nothing, renjun and jeno were still standing face to face in the room, neither of them daring to open their mouth first and start speaking.

but at the same time, what could they say? should they apologise? should they just voice out their feelings? they had no idea what to say, and the tension thickening more with every second didn't help them to decide themselves to blurt out something random.

but thankfully, they gained the courage to start a conversation after a while.

"i'm so-" "we should- "

the two boys immediately stopped themselves from talking further, looking shyly at each other and making everything even more award that it was before – if possible.

jeno and renjun found themselves surrounded by silence once again, both boys seeking the courage to start speaking again.

"i-" "we-"

and for the second time, the two ex-boyfriends started speaking at the same time.

at this point, they weren't even sure that they could make things more awkward. such a level of awkwardness was hard to reach, and once reached, it was even harder to keep it going for a while. but jeno and renjun loved to defy the limits of the society.

"you fir-" "go on-"

"no, you-" "no, you-"

knowing that this little game could go on for hours if one of them didn't do something, jeno decided to act, using the little bit of self-confidence that was left within his body.

and so, in a swift motion, he clasped his hand over renjun's mouth, towering over the chinese male as he voiced out words he believed he wouldn't be able to get out if he didn't do it now.

"i'm sorry for everything that happened, renjun." he started, apologising sincerely to his ex-boyfriend as he let his heart take control of his voice. "these past weeks have been so horrible, i never wanted us to break up and drift apart. i still love you so much, renjun. i can't afford to lose you, not when you helped me so much coping with myself, and not when i got so attached to you. i need you so bad, renjun, and i was so dumb, hiding things from you and lying to you. but now that i got a taste of how miserable life was without you, i can tell you for sure that i never want to go through that again, and that i'd do everything to be back with you."

by the end of his monologue, jeno was out of breath, slightly panting as his teary eyes never left renjun's. the chinese male's eyes were glossy with tears as well, looking up at jeno with love and envy.

the korean male allowed his hand to slip off renjun's mouth in order to wipe a stray tear that had escaped from his eye.

"i-i... i-i just w-wanted to t-tell you t-that..." he added, becoming once again the stuttery mess that he had always been.

renjun stayed silent for a few seconds, replying jeno's wors in his head and processing them before he could think of giving an answer.

with each second passing, jeno's head lowered and his heart shattered a bit more, the probability of an answer from renjun decreasing faster than expected.

but thankfully, renjun had made up his mind on what answer to give jeno aftr a few more seconds. and contrarily to what jeno imagined, the answer didn't come as verbal, but instead, as physical.

in a blink of an eye, renjun had perched himself on the tip of his toes and wrapped his arms around jeno's neck to pull the younger male towards him and crash his lips on his.

jeno couldn't think of words to describe the burst of emotions that happened within him as he tasted renjun's oh-so-sweet lips after so long. his heart was doing summersaults inside his ribcage, his body completely frozen in shock, and his mind coing completely crazy at what was happening to him.

not only had renjun given an answer to his little speech, but it seemed to be a positive one.

once the initial shock washed away, jeno could enjoy the feeling of renjun's lips on his more deeply as he wrapped his own arms around his ex-boyfriend, fully leaning against the smaller boy while he moulded his lips in synch with renjun's.

eyes fluttered close, bodies and tongues entangled, both renjun and jeno enjoyed the feeling of being close to each other after so long, the power held into their kiss reminding them of their very first kiss, the start of everything.

and as they kissed like they never had kissed before, both of them realised how stupid they had been, wanting to break apart when they were the source of each other's happiness and of each other's well-being. they were meant to be together; they were both sure of it – and they were starting to realise they had always been.

after what seemed like hours, jeno and renjun parted, their lips still connected by a small string of saliva, and their hearts connected by the loving bond that had always united them.

"i-i..." jeno let out, his mouth slightly agape as he caught his breath from the kiss. "y-you..."

and the same way jeno had done minutes prior, renjun's hand landed on top of jeno's mouth as the chinese male gave his own emotional speech.

"i am so sorry that we had to go through this break up, jeno. trust me when i say that these past days were by far the worst days i've ever experienced. i never want to be separated from you ever again, instead, i want to stay by your side forever, to love and cherish you as much as you deserve to be loved and cherished. i was so stupid myself to let you slip between my fingers when i knew that i couldn't be without you anymore, but i promise, jeno, that i won't let that happen again. you are too important to me for that. and i love you too much to let you go."

feeling the skin under his palm stretching, renjun freed jeno's mouth from his hand, revealing a bright smile that had him smiling as well.

"i-i love you." jeno breathed out, tears rolling down his cheeks. "i-i'm so sorry..."

"i love you too, jeno." renjun replied immediately, pulling jeno in a tight hug. "and i am sorry as well."

and once again, silence took over the break room of the convenience store. but this time, the silence was not the least awkward. instead, it was heart-whelming, and relieving, as if this very silence was occurring instead of having the ex-boyfriends screaming and blaming each other. in fact, it was as if this silence was the sign that things could get better. that things would get better.

⊗

"are you ready, babe?"

"y-yes..." jeno breathed out, looking behind him as renjun adjusted his position to align himself with jeno's hole.

"then i'm going in."

and as those exact words were spoken, renjun pushed his hips forward, penetrating jeno for the first time in forever, causing jeno to moan loudly and arch his back as renjun's grip on the boy's sides tightened while he growled in pleasure.

after their apology session in the convenience store's break room, jeno and renjun had hugged for long in silence, simply enjoying the feeling of each other's bodies that they had missed so much. they occasionally kissed, pecking each other's lips a few times before their kisses became longer and more passionate, soon involving teeth and tongue, and then hands roaming around bodies.

a quick look into each other's eyes had been sufficient for them to notice the hint of lust and envy that was burning inside of them. after weeks of being torn apart, the need to feel each other fully was gigantic, and neither of them were ready to go against their bodies' needs at the moment – not when their hearts wanted it as much as their bodies or their minds.

and so, the two boys had run away from the convenience store, dashing hand in hand through the busy streets of the city they had been living in, all the way back to the apartment they had been living in together for years, their own haven of peace.

it had felt weird at first for renjun to get inside after so long, but the feeling instantly disappeared as all of the good memories they had shared together within those walls filled his head, making it impossible for him not to smile and lunge on jeno to kiss him.

inevitably, with the lust that had drove them there and the giddiness of being by each other's side again, the two boys easily found the path of the bedroom as they got rid of their clothes and entangled their bodies on their own bedsheets.

and one thing leading to another, after lustful kisses and horny touches, the two lovers ended up in the position they were in now, jeno on all fours, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as he was abused from behind by renjun who knew every inch of his body by heart and had the ability to make him lose his mind completely while making love.

because yes, even though it had been driven by the feelings of lust and envy that had appeared after being separated for long, this union of their bodies wasn't simply 'sex'. it was something more, something purer and more complex. something that involved strong feelings which hadn't disappeared despite all of the obstacles they had faced. something called 'making love'.

"aagh... r-renjun!" jeno moaned, the pleasure causing his arms to feel too weak to keep his upper body up.

"god, jeno..." renjun growled, leaning his head back as he groped jeno's butt cheek so hard it would leave a mark. "i'm close..."

"m-m-me t-too...!" the korean male let out with difficulty, his hole being abused by renjun, making his body be ran through by spasms and his breath run short.

with a few more powerful thrusts from renjun, the chinese boy making sure his pelvis hit jeno's butt cheeks harder every time and that his dick reached this oh-so-sensitive ball of nerves, the two males were right on the edge of an orgasm that both wanted to reach so much.

last time the two males had felt this close, this united had been close to a month prior, and they both agreed that it had been way too long. not only had they not been able to have such intimate contact after breaking up, but they hadn't been able to either in their last weeks of being together, when both of them had started drifting apart and acting as if they were strangers.

so, in this exact moment, the feeling of pure bliss that was taking control of their bodies was at the same so familiar and so foreign, making it even more enjoyable than they believed it could be.

a high-pitched moan slipped past jeno's lips as the korean male cummed on the bedsheets, his eyes rolling to the back of his head in pleasure and his limbs immediately feeling sore, thus causing him to fall flat on his stomach. behind him, renjun was in a similar state, his head pulled back as his hands gripped jeno's butt cheeks harder than they had ever while he released inside of the boy he loved so much.

renjun pulled out of jeno's hole slowly, lying down on the bed by jeno's side before tugging on his arm lightly to signal him to come closer. jeno didn't hesitate to roll around the bed and glue his sore body to renjun's, placing his head against renjun's chest and entangling their legs.

the two boys went down from their highs in each other's arms, the only sound in the room being their ravaged breaths that they were trying to catch after the breath-taking sex that they had both missed so much. and once their breathings were finally back to normal, the two ex-boyfriends stayed in a comfortable silence, enjoying the warmth emitting for each other's bodies as well as the pleasant tingles that tickled their stomachs.

for a while, neither of them dared to break the silence and start speaking about what they needed to speak about, too scared of the reactions the other could have and of the consequences it could have. they were both feeling so good in this exact moment that they had establish some kind of silent mutual agreement that they shouldn't speak about that now. but deep down, they were both aware that they would need to discuss about it – and maybe that having sex first thing after seeing each other wasn't the best idea they ever had.

"jeno...?" renjun's voice broke the silence, slightly startling jeno whose eyes had fluttered close and whose mind had been peacefully resting.

"mmh?" the korean male hummed, opening his eyes and looking up at the male he loved so dearly.

"we need to talk about... about what happened."

jeno stayed silent for a few more seconds before nodding shyly, hoping with all of his heart that this conversation would lead to another heartbreak – not after feeling so loved during the long minutes the two males had spent touching so intimately.

"do you... do you mind if i start?" renjun asked, slightly unsure despite being the one to initiate the conversation.

"n-no..." jeno shook his head, indicating that his ex-boyfriend could keep going.

"well..." renjun cleared his throat, keeping his arms wrapped around jeno as he went on. "i wanted to apologise for what i did. around a month ago, i... i intentionally started distancing myself from you... things got confusing in my mind, and i didn't want you to suffer because of me, so i imagined it would be better to disgust you of me and have you break up... because i was sure that this way, you would be less hurt than if i had done it myself."

at those words of apoogy, jeno's brows furrowed as he looked up in renjun's eyes, utterly confused by what had just been stated.

"y-you... you distanced yourself from me so that i could break up with you?" jeno rephrased renjun's speech, making the older sigh.

"yeah... i know it's stupid but i thought that- "

"i did the same thing." jeno cut renjun's words, making the chinese male look down at him and frown as well.

"huh?" renjun let out.

"i-i... i-i got confused too... and... and i decided that i didn't deserve you, so i had to make you break up with me so that you could find someone you deserved more without getting hurt." jeno explained, hesitantly glancing at renjun from time to time. "a-and... and i was confused, because y-you didn't seem to mind much that i-i was distancing... but then... t-then you didn't want to break up with me... a-and i c-couldn't understand why..."

renjun blinked a few times, first looking at jeno and then staring at nothing while his brain processed the words that had left jeno's mouth.

even though it kind of hurt to know that jeno had tried to do that, some part of him felt happy and relieved, knowing that him and jeno had thought the same way and taken the same decisions. in the end, it could mean that they were truly made for each other if they had the same reaction facing a same issue.

"wait-" renjun's frown intensified as he sat up on the bed, causing jeno to sit up as well and turn around to look at him, confused as to why he had moved so suddenly. "what do you mean by 'i got confused too'?"

jeno hesitated, his cheeks heating as he debated whether to tell the whole truth or not. he knew could lose renjun again with the next words, and he wasn't sure if he was ready for that. but at the same time, he still loved his ex-boyfriend, and there was no way they would be able to move forward together and arrange things between them if he didn't tell him the truth.

"i-i... i-i s-started catching f-feelings... f-for jaemin..." jeno admitted, looking down at his fidgety hands, to scared to meet eyes with renjun.

"wAIT WHAT?!" renjun basically yelled, causing jeno's hands to cover his ears immediately not to become deaf so soon. "did you just say that you caught feelings for jaemin too?"

renjun was utterly shocked by the news he had just heard.

so, jeno liked jaemin too? renjun wasn't the only one to have developed feelings for the shy male. and this had been the reason why jeno had wanted to distance himself from renjun? which meant that renjun and jeno had decided to do the same thing as a solution to a same problem.

"y-yes..." jeno replied, his voice barely above a whisper and his whole body starting to tremble because of the fear of rejection.

"oh my god..." renjun let out, staring into the void once again, letting his brain make connexions in his mind and imagine possible solution to this messy love triangle.

seeing as renjun was lost in his thoughts, probably searching the right words to kindly tell jeno to fuck himself and leave from his sight forever, jeno decided that this was his last change to give a justification to his acts.

he could see that him and renjun were once again on the verge of a heartbreak, and this time, jeno wanted to have said everything on his chest before it happened. and so, that's what he did.

"r-renjun, i... i-i'm so sorry for everything... b-but even after what h-happened, i... i can't stop loving you and wanting to be with you. i still want you as my boyfriend, but i-i... i c-can't control my f-feelings... and... and i can't help b-but want jaemin too..." jeno heaved out a sigh, tears pooling in his eyes again as he poured all of his hope in these last words to renjun. "i... i-i like him, t-the same way i liked you at f-first... and m-my feelings for him slowly grow e-everyday, and i-i know it's selfish, but i want both of you and- "

jeno was unexpectedly cut in his rambling by renjun who had woken up from his daze and grabbed jeno's jaw to turn his head and make it more accessible for him to peck it quickly.

the korean male kep his eyes wide open, his mouth slightly agape as his jaw was still held by renjun's hand. the older male made sure to keep a firm grip on jeno's face so that the male couldn't look away and avoid listening to what he had to say.

"jeno, calm down." renjun stated calmly, somehow scaring jeno who was expecting everything but a calm reaction. "as hard as it was for me to admit it, i do want the both of you too. both you and jaemin." the chinese male continued, smiling slightly at the boy he used to be calling his boyfriend. "and you telling me that just made me realise that maybe... maybe it will be possible. maybe we'll be able to be together like we both want it, and maybe we'll also be able to add jaemin to us if he wants it too..."

jeno's heart was doing all sorts of somersaults in his chest, causing him to end up slightly out of breath as his mind slowly came to the realisation that what he had judged to be rejection from renjun was in fact acceptance and self-identification.

so, his ex-boyfriend felt the same way as he did. and he wanted jaemin as bad as jeno wanted him, while wanting them to become boyfriends again at the same time. and he believed that this could work; that they could work. all three of them. jaemin, jeno and renjun. but how?

"b-but..." jeno stuttered out, his brows furrowing on their own, troubled by renjun's words. as promising as they sounded, jeno couldn't understand how they would find a solution for the both of them to be with both each other and jaemin. couples were made of pairs, meaning two people. so, how could they make that work considering they were three in the equation? "h-how can we add him? w-we're already two, and- "

and once again, renjun shushed jeno with his lips, this time keeping their mouths sealed for a few seconds before pulling away.

"with polyamory, we'll be able to make that work." the chinese male assured with a smile, earnng a confused stare from his ex – and apparently soon to be – boyfriend.

"p-poly...?" jeno tried repeating this term he had never been introduced to beforehand.

renjun chuckled at jeno's reaction, ruffling his hair as he leant forward a bit to glue their foreheads together.

"let me introduce you to polyamory tonight." he flashed jeno a heart-whelming smile. "i'm sure you'll love the concept."

and indeed, jeno loved it as much as renjun had.

and now, all they needed more was jaemin's opinion.