Just like he did everything else of importance to him, Jade studied passionately.
Whether he looked it or not, he had plans and that was to make a comfortable life for his grandma. He really didn't care all that much about himself.

He kept going even if he didn't need to study as hard as he did. He was smarter than the average human and could afford to slack off a few times but he never did. In less than a year, he'd be legally practicing and working as a lawyer and he intended to rise to the top of the food chain. Eventually.
It was the little ambitious streak in him, fueled by the need to carry out a plan.

He had to do exceptionally, even as he was already doing the most.

As he lay on his bed that night, Jade's mind shifted to a time in the past.

"All you have to do is sleep with him once Jade. Remember, this is for our family," his eldest brother Josh said. "It's actually perfect, you're gay, and he likes to stick it up teenage boys' butts."

This was of course, very disrespectful but Jade knew better than to call him out on it.
He'd learned that the hard way, nursing a few bruises and keeping at least two scars.

Josh was the most toxic person Jade knew and it was unfortunate that he was his brother but he had to live with it. He liked to speak of family yet it clearly meant nothing to him. Jade only got some relief when he moved out for college.

His brother treated him like he was an object, a means to obtain whatever he wanted. He'd always abused, manipulated and bullied Jade. He hated him so much, but somehow he couldn't do anything about it. It was the hardest thing to wrap around his head, the hold that Josh had on him.

"You know we all need this," he said, coaxing Jade and appearing to cajole him yet they both knew it was more like an order. Or more like a threat.
Every time Jade spoke to Josh, he felt like it drained his soul and chipped at his heart.

"Think of how much more comfortable Nana's life will be once the deal is sealed."

Josh knew all the right buttons to push, and he knew saying that was the biggest weapon in his arsenal.
He wasn't ashamed to use it.

How Jade wished his parents were still alive. His mother had doted on him like he was the rarest gem and his father had loved him, he would never doubt that. But the world is a cruel place and took them both from him when he was only nine.

The things he'd had to put up with since then weren't for the faint of heart. It was one of the reasons he never got attached to people. It had hurt too much when they'd left, and they let him shoulder it like an adult and not a child.

Jade had glanced at Josh's so-called business partner a few times over dinner and had caught him looking every single time.

It was creepy in his opinion, the man looked like he'd wanted to hang him up like a piece of meat. Jade didn't like his eyes, he felt unsafe every time that their gazes met and dreaded what the end of dinner would hold for him.

Everyone else seemed oblivious to this, but more accurately, no one cared.
It was the crushing realization after his parents were gone, the hostility he'd never noticed was there. He was alienated faster than he could keep up with and he had to adjust.

Jade sighed and nodded to Josh. He wouldn't admit he was scared, but he was. Not that it would have mattered.
"I'll do it."

"See I knew-" Josh had started but Jade didn't stick around to hear the rest of what an asshole had to say.

He had no idea what he was doing because it was going to be his first time. It wasn't the ideal first time he pictured but it was a sacrifice he had to make. 'It's okay' he told himself over and over.

Josh's business partner didn't respect Jade, he had not been gentle and he had hurt Jade over and over when he rammed his average sized dick into him.
When Jade had screamed and cried for him to slow down, he'd laughed and gone harder.

Jade had absolutely no control of the situation, it wasn't a good place to be. Jade always held out hope that Josh might have some good in him but that night, he accepted that what his brother did was criminal. And there was no such thing as good in his black heart.

The next morning when Josh had smirked at him, Jade was surprised it sparked no anger in him like it should have. He didn't feel broken inside, he felt dead. And no one could  hurt a dead person.

What had kept him going that night was just a single constant thought, 'for Nana'.

Coming back to the present, he wondered why he was thinking of such things now. They were totally irrelevant.
Shaking his head as if to clear his mind, he turned on his bed to his side.

Sleep wasn't a long way off and when it came, he let it take him.

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