times are tough so here's a double update. enjoy ❤️

I pick at my food, unable to concentrate or even take a proper bite. My mind won't stop thinking about Vienna's pregnancy. She hasn't said a peep about it since we found out, in fact I'm beginning to think she's trying to act like it doesn't exist. But it does and we can't ignore it. Sooner or later she's gonna have to see a doctor. I haven't said anything either because I don't want to step on her toes and upset her, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my mouth shut. Avoiding the problem isn't going to make it go away, and if she wants to do something about it then she needs to take action soon.

Winston, who sits across the table from me, furrows his brows. "What's wrong? You've hardly eaten and this is your favorite restaurant."

"Nothing," I force a smile and take a bite of grilled chicken. It tastes dry and stale in my mouth, and I feel horrible. Winston and I are finally having a date night in what feels like ages, and I can't even enjoy it because I'm too busy worrying about Vienna. I'm not even the one who's pregnant, yet it seems like I'm more concerned than she is, and it's bugging me.

I dab at my mouth with a napkin and take a sip of wine. Winston watches my every move, and finally I break under his scrutiny. "What?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You're the ones who's been distracted all night."

I huff. "It's nothing."

"Okay," he replies in that annoying but calm I-know-you're-lying-to-me-tone. I blow out a breath just as Winston lifts his glass to his lips.

"What would you do if I was pregnant?"

Wine comes spewing from his mouth and he starts choking, causing some of the other dinner guests to glance at us curiously. His wipes his mouth with a napkin and shoots them pleasant smiles. I laugh, then cover it up with a cough.

"Pregnant?" He whispers, looking around as if there are hidden cameras. "What do you mean pregnant?"

I roll my eyes. "Expecting. Knocked up. A bun in the oven. In delicate condition. With child."

When Winston doesn't say anything I prompt him impatiently with my hands. "So? What would you do?"

He opens his mouth, then closes it and takes a deep breath before re-opening it. "I don't know," he says, slowly and gives me a careful look. "Are you? Pregnant I mean." His eyes flit to my glass of wine.

I smile. Even though he's clearly panicking he's doing a good job of hiding it and being considerate, plus he's already worried about me.

"No," I shake my head. "I'm not pregnant." Winston looks at me warily and I chuckle. "I promise I'm telling the truth."

His shoulders sag in relief.

"But you still didn't answer my question," I point out. "Would you have dumped me?"

"Geez Kennedy of course not," Winston actually sounds offended at the suggestion. "Have I given you the impression that I'm that much of an asshole?"

I shrug. "No, but you never know with these things."

"I wouldn't have dumped you," he says firmly. "It's not like you made the baby by yourself. But I can't lie and say I'd be thrilled either. Honestly, I guess I would just try to support you as much as I could, whatever you decided to do."

And this is why I love you.

Winston gives me a serious look. "Be honest with me, did you have a pregnancy scare?"

No. Yes. Not really. It was more like Vienna scared me into thinking I was pregnant. Before her crazy suggestion of taking pregnancy tests, I hadn't even thought about the possibility.

In the end I shake my head. "No. Not me. Someone else." And that's all I'll say about it. I'm not going to just throw Vienna under the bus. Danny is Winston's best friend, so there's no way Winston will be able to keep it secret from him.

"Do you want kids?" I ask curiously.

Winston shrugs. "Maybe I guess. Someday. But not right now."

I nod. "Yeah. Me too."

He takes my hand from across the table and squeezes it. I smile, then giggle as a thought occurs to me. "Maybe to be safe we should practice abstinence."

Winston scoffs. "Yeah, that's not happening either."

"Why not?"

"Because there's no way I can keep my hands off you," he smirks. "And now that you've mentioned it," he raises his hand so the waiter can bring our check. "We'll be taking the rest of this date back to my place."

"Are we gonna Netflix and Chill?" I ask with a grin.

"Netflix sure, but I'm not so sure about the chill."

...

Wednesday at school I man handle Vienna into an empty classroom and lock the door. She yanks her arm from my grip.

"What's the big deal?" She says irritably. "You could have just said you needed to talk."

I ignore her snappy tone, understanding she's dealing with a lot. "Yes, but you wouldn't have listened. I scheduled a doctors appointment today."

"Okay, and what does that have to do with me?"

"It's not for me, it's for you. You need to see a doctor Vienna. Or have you forgotten that you're-"

She covers my mouth with her hands and shushes me. "Shut up! Don't say it."

I move her hands away. "Just because you don't wanna acknowledge it doesn't make it suddenly disappear. I've tried to be patient, but frankly I'm getting tired. It's obvious you're not gonna jump without a little push. So here I am. Pushing you off the cliff."

Vienna glares at me. "And if I refuse?"

"I'm not above resorting to unorthodox methods to get what I want, including kidnapping and violence if necessary."

"You'd really hurt a pregnant woman?"

"If I had to then yes, I would."

"What about my bodyguard?"

"Please," I roll my eyes. "Don't try and act like he's a problem now. I've already contacted Charles to meet us at our rendezvous point."

Vienna's body deflates. "Fine. I guess I can't avoid it forever."

"Don't worry," I tell her. "I'll be with you the entire time."

After school we sneak out and meet Charles, who drives us to a Planned Parenthood in Brooklyn. It's far away enough that nobody should recognize us. Still, Vienna insists on wearing a wig, so we stop at a nearby Party City.

"For the record, blonde is so not your color," I say as we trek inside. "At least not that hideous platinum shade."

"Well I don't remember asking for your opinion," she snaps, her nerves obviously frayed. She covers her mouth and holds her stomach. "Kennedy I don't feel so good. I think I might throw up."

"Please keep all bodily fluids down, at least until we check in," I mutter as we approach the front desk. A kind receptionist greets us.

"Hello. Welcome to Planned Parenthood. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I have an appointment under Kennedy Davis, but it's really for my friend," I gesture toward Vienna. The receptionist nods knowingly, but there's no judgment in her eyes.

"Of course. If you'll just fill out this form, a nurse will be with you shortly."

I take the pen and clipboard from her and we find a seat in the waiting room. Vienna is too nervous to fill out the form, plus she really does dash to the restroom to vomit, so I fill out most of the form for her. A few of the questions are things she'll need to answer herself, but for the most part it's just basic stuff like names, addresses, and phone numbers. When Vienna returns we fill out the rest and return it to the receptionist. Then we sit back down and wait.

"How long is this supposed to take?" Vienna whines after an hour passes. "I'm hungry."

I check the time. "Hopefully not much longer."

Just then her name is called. "Vienna Saito?"

I stand. "That's us! Come on."

"You could try not to sound so eager," Vienna mumbles, dragging her feet as she follows behind me. We're lead into an examination room, where there are posters upon posters of varying topics and information, including but not limited to safe consensual sex, birth control, abortions, the different stages of pregnancy, periods, and more. Vienna flinches at the abortion and pregnancy posters.

"My name is Maggie," the nurse introduces herself. She's pretty, with brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and bright blue eyes. She shoots us a pearly white smile. "And who's our patient today?"

I nudge Vienna forward and she shoots me a look before turning to Maggie. "That would be me," she admits reluctantly.

"Great! First I want to assure you Vienna that you have absolutely no reason to be nervous. We'll do our best to make this visit as quick and painless as possible. If you have any questions at all, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm sure there's nothing we haven't heard before, and we want you to have a safe and comfortable experience."

As Maggie finishes her speech, she looks over Vienna's patient chart. "So you're here for a checkup, correct?"

Vienna and I look at each other. Is checkup supposed to be a code word for ultrasound screening?

"Um, yes," Vienna replies nervously. "Also uh- I think I'm pregnant."

"No problem sweetie, we can do an ultrasound after. For now I'll have you sit up here," she pats the examination chair. "I'll just be checking your basic vitals, so you have nothing to fear."

Vienna exhales and does as she's told as the nurse checks her temperature, shines a light in her eyes, checks her heartbeat, checks her ears, and does that knee jerk test. Finally she steps back.

"Alrighty, we're all done! You're as healthy as a horse!" On cue another nurse rolls in what I assume to be the ultrasound machine and begins to set it up. Maggie snaps on some gloves. "Vienna, if I can please have you lie back for me and lift up your shirt, just so I can see your stomach."

Vienna reaches for my hand and I take it as she lies down, pulling her shirt up. Her breathing becomes uneven, and I squeeze her hand for support. She shoots me a grateful smile. Maggie places her stethoscope on Vienna's stomach and moves it around, listing for a moment before pulling back and nodding.

"Alright Vienna. I'm having a little trouble hearing the baby's heartbeat, which means you're still in the early stages of pregnancy. Now this is no reason to worry, it only means we'll have to perform a transvaginal ultrasound. This will let us view the uterus through your cervix."

"Will it hurt?" Vienna asks timidly.

"I assure you it's perfectly safe and painless," Maggie responds. "We'll use a wand shaped probe covered in a latex sheath, sort of like a condom. Then I'll apply some lubricant and gently insert the probe into your vagina. Moving this device around I'll be able to get the pictures I need on the ultrasound screen. This procedure doesn't hurt at all, and may only cause very minimal discomfort. It's about the same as if you were receiving a pelvic exam."

Slowly Vienna nods. "Okay."

The entire time the ultrasound is being performed Vienna keeps a tight grip on my hand, and I don't loosen mine either. She sucks in a sharp breath when Maggie sticks the probe in, looking up at the ceiling. I stare at the monitor, waiting for something to pop up.

"The white stuff you're seeing on screen is called the gestational sac," Maggie explains. "Think of it like the pouch on a female Kangaroo where she keeps her baby safe," she moves the wand around some more.
"And...here we go. That's your baby."

I peer to where she's pointing on screen. It looks like a curled bean. When I mention this Maggie laughs.

"Yeah, it kind of does. One end will form the head, and the other will be the legs. The fetal heartbeat is strong, so that's a good sign. And here's the fetal pole," she points. "It looks like you're about seven weeks along."

I turn to see Vienna's reaction, noting she's been oddly quiet. Her face is pale and her lips quiver, tell tale signs she's about to start crying.

I turn back to Maggie. "Can you give us a moment?"

"Of course," Maggie removes the wand and disposes of it. "Would you like pictures?"

Vienna swallows and shakes her head.

"Okay. I'll just be outside if you need me."

Once Maggie is gone I begin gently stroking Vienna's arm. "What's wrong?" I ask softly.

"I didn't want to see," Vienna whispers.

"See what?"

"The baby. I didn't want to see the baby because I knew it would make my choice that much harder," tears slip down her face.

My heart physically hurts for her. "V..."

"Does that make me selfish?" Vienna sniffles and wipes her nose. "I know there are other options. I could have the baby and give it up for adoption but I-" her voice cracks. "I don't want this. I don't want to be pregnant."

She openly begins to cry and I hold her, rocking us back and forth while stroking her hair. She clings to me like a child. "Of course it doesn't make you selfish," I say gently. "Remember? It makes you human."

The room is silent as she sobs and I let her, not saying a word but just being there. Comforting her. Being her rock in this shit storm. Finally Vienna pulls back and wipes her eyes, hiccuping. She takes a steadying breath. "Let the nurse back in."

"Okay," I get up to fetch Maggie and she walks back in, a concerned look on her face.

"Is everything alright?" She asks.

"Yes. Well actually, no. But it will be," Vienna glances at me and I give her an encouraging nod. She turns back to Maggie, her voice hoarse but determined. "I want an abortion."

...