Poverty is Death

Have you ever thought how would it be to experience the death of three of your children in just two years? 

Well I have experienced it and believe me, it's awful and it shatters you into pieces. These pieces are then further crushed into useless grains of guiltiness when they died because you couldn't provide food and necessities of the life to them. 

I lost my eldest son today. He was going to turn twelve this month but Allah has some bigger plans. I had four sons and a beautiful girl. My daughter, she was fourteen years old when she killed herself due to our poverty and the shame she felt because of my family's living standards. Another son died in the worst times of our family. It was three years ago, when I was fired from my work and I couldn't find another job for a whole week. We had not more than a 500 note, so it didn't last long. The last days went in hunger. I managed some food but not enough for all. No matter where my son is now, I want to tell you my son, I saw hate for everything in your eyes the day you expired. I loved you, my son, I still do. Remembering his face always leaves me shivering. I feel ashamed how I let my children die. I hate myself. My two sons alive, one five and other seven years old, believe I’m useless and just like others died, I'd let them slip away and I won't care of who's alive and who's not. No one knows but I want to kill myself. The weight of lives on my shoulder has left me injured. 

No one except me works in our family. My wife looks after the whole house. Children in our family don't work ever since my brother's son died in an accident at his work. My brother got handicapped in an accident ten years from now. His wife is also not completely healthy. My sister she used to work at different houses but now her bones won't co-operate with her. So I work hard every single moment of my day to provide food to nine people; my wife, my two sons, my brother, his wife, their three children and my sister. 

But now I am tired. My strength has given up on me because my bones and eye sight are weaker than ever. The other day I went for a checkup and they told me that I am a sugar patient. My condition is so swear that I'll lose my eye sight soon if I don't take proper medication. But how could I take such expensive medicines when my family can't even have a three time meal every day?  I have to survive with all my weaknesses for my family. I have to keep myself strong for them. They don't know about my crucial situation yet but soon they will.

One thing that I'm clear about is that if my dad hadn't said those last words; I would've lost my strength long ago. He said,

"Son, listen to me carefully. Today, I’m putting a big responsibility on your shoulders. I know it's huge but I wouldn’t have put you in this if I wasn't dying. You have to work hard. Even more than you do now. You have been a great son and you'll be a great father, husband and brother. I believe in you. No matter how much you get, you have to take it. This world isn’t fair, I know, but Allah never leaves your side. He's watching everything and when the time comes, he'll pay you for your goodness. Just remember one thing that this is your family. If you leave them they can't survive because you are the strong one. Try to stay put until someone comes who can take your place. I pray that Allah gives you the strength to conquer your purpose."

 Author's Note: It's dedicated to those who may seem fit to us but indeed they're not. Behind their sweat and depression, there is a hurtful story hidden that we ignore to look for. So, if you know any needy person, help them with anything you've got; even a smile on a poor child's face will do big. Let us keep in our mind that it's not only our duty to help others but also, this is what makes us different from other beings; humanity.