pairings: bucky barnes x reader, platonic!sam wilson, platonic!natasha romanoff, platonic!steve rogers
warnings: mentions of injuries, descriptions of fighting, angry bucky, a horrible ending, i kind of really hate this
about: "the things i feel for her are unlike anything i've ever felt before." for a sleepover! i actually wrote another one with the same quote but i didn't think it fit so i changed it (that one will be posted tomorrow or the day after so i can edit it)

you're annoyingly reckless to a point where it gets dangerous.

he's told you this a thousand times before but you don't listen- aren't listening at the moment.

he knows it's ironic that he's being reckless by not paying attention to what's going on, too concentrated on you- even if you've told him countless times that you literally can't die (to which he responds with a "you never know!" because, really do you?)- but he has a metal arm and sam, who's been hovering around him like a vulture after noticing his lack of concentration.

before he can react to it, a slimy arm is promptly cut off by you, the blade you threw now back in your hands and stained green with the things' blood. you scowl at it and shoot him a dirty look, "pay fucking attention!" you demand, shaking the weapon haphazardly to get the goo off. he can't believe that the words came out of your mouth but rolls his eyes and obeys, knocking an ugly alien down and crushing its chest with his boot.

he can still hear your cocky remarks and giggles- yes, giggles, you giggle when you fight life threatening menaces- paired with the gross sounds of your knife impaling the aliens they're fighting. it's the only thing keeping him from practically babysitting you, a reassurance that you're there, careless and impetuous, but alive and close.

suddenly, he can't hear you, and he turns to what he quite possibly believes to be the most disgusting thing he's seen in his life (and it's been a long one, so far). you're blue, covered in a slimy substance, and your face is so red, it's beginning to look nearly purple with the cyan sheen over it. you screech abruptly, wiping at your face angrily and jumping at the thing that probably did that to you. he nearly feels pity for it. nearly, because, in your rage, you hadn't even noticed the large gash along your shoulder. before he can go to you before you kill yourself, his metal arm feels like it's being sucked, taking him with it, and he grunts. "what the fuck-" he manages, unsure of what he's looking at, but trying to cut through the sticky arm attached to his own. you're there in five seconds flat, still blue and still angry, which he notices makes the slicing through the appendage easier.

you seem to decide to stay with him after that, and he's not sure if he's offended because you don't think he can take care of himself- which is ridiculous, since this only happened because he was taking care of you- or touched.

"god, i wish i had wanda's powers. chaos magick works a lot faster than causing chaos," you complain, trying to wipe away the blue sludge at the same time and wincing when it tugs at your injury. he is reminded of the shoulder wound he nearly got his arm ripped off for trying to warn you, and he stops your hand. "you're bleeding, you should probably be a little more careful with this." he motions to your arm, avoiding touching it.

you frown at him, "it's fine, it's just a little cut." (it's most certainly not a "little cut.")

"y/n-"

you extend the hurt arm over him and flick your hands when you see an alien about to rip bucky's head off, a grimace passing your face that he sees but you try to cover up anyways. "see? it hurts you, you need-"

"i just saved your life, would a hurt person be able to do that?" you cut him off, and he stares at you. noticing a green thing coming up behind you, he grabs your waist and moves you out of the way, shooting it with his gun and watching as it drops to the ground. "ow!" you protest, "you hurt my-" seeming to realize you're about to prove him right, you shut up and roll your eyes. "you're welcome," bucky huffs, wiping away some of the blue stuff from your cheek.

your cheeks warm against his touch without your permission, and you turn away. bucky smirks at your reaction.

"shut up," you grumble, extending your fingers and aiming at a group of the aliens ganging up on natasha. they freeze for the few seconds they're under your control, and nat manages to take out two in the moment. the three left break out of the trance, turn to each other, and begin to fight. natasha makes eye contact with you in a form of thanks and starts to take the rest out. you hear a gun go off behind you and turn to see one of the things that sprayed you on the floor. bucky saved you again, great, it's not like he'll rub it in your face forever.

"you need to pay attention, what if i'm not here?" bucky scolds. "then never leave," you flirt casually in response. with a few twirls of your finger, most of the aliens stop paying attention to your team and begin attacking their own teammates.

you don't notice when one of the few unaffected beings picks up a discarded gun and shoots at you twice. bucky moves you away from a head shot, but one lands opposite to the bleeding slash on your shoulder, and the other hits your thigh.

"goddamnit, y/n, pay attention!" bucky growls, holding up your full weight when your adrenaline begins to run out and everything becomes blurry. "'m fine," you try to reassure, attempting to stand back on your wobbly legs. bucky doesn't let you, shooting at as many aliens as he can with one gun. he turns to look at your state after he shoots most of them, allowing the others to take care of it while he tries to take care of you. his metal hand is touching the small device in his ear, telling the others the situation while his other arm holds you up. you might be delirious now, and your eyelids are becoming increasingly difficult to keep up. "hm, i'm not going to die, b'cky." you tell him, noticing the increasing panic in his voice as he talks to steve. "stop saying that, how would you know if you haven't died yet?"

his question is confusing for your foggy brain, so you decide to skip it, unknowingly making his worries worse. the blood running down your back isn't stopping, and bucky stops for a second to lift you up completely, tucking his hand underneath your knees to carry you. at the tug at your thigh, you bite back a scream. bucky pretends not to notice; his hands are covered in a warm red. he's trying his best to ignore it.

"don't die," bucky whispers again and again, making you frown, "how many times do i 'ave to tell you i can't die?"

"i'll believe it when you don't," bucky mutters, and the blue sky turns to gray when he's inside the quinjet. he sets you down on the medbay cot, looking lost as he calls out friday's name. "yes, mister barnes?"

"y/n- uh-"

"do a scan on me and... and treat accordingly," you interrupt. "scanning now," friday obeys, and you turn to bucky. "by the time you figured it out i would have bled out."

"that's not funny, y/n," bucky says seriously. you squeeze your eyes shut for a second, "calm down, i'll be fine." friday has enclosed you in some clear glass, red grids letting you know of your condition. "ooh, that's bad," you mumble, much to the dismay of your boyfriend. "what?" said boyfriend asks, and you wave him off as best you can- which means a pathetic bounce of your arm- and tell him to let friday do her thing. "we are not done here," bucky instructs, but sits next to you and holds your hand. you can see his glossed eyes now, you wonder how you didn't see them before.

"shouldn't you be fighting?" you ask, a wave of exhaustion crashing over you. rest, your body begs. you'll comply later. "they're almost done, the chaos thing you did makes their job a lot easier."

"'s what i do," you say breathily before falling asleep.

-

you're still in the quinjet the next time you open your eyes, which lets you know it's only been a few hours and you're feeling better already. goddess healing, you think, looking around to see bucky's hand still around yours. he looks worried, the hard lines usually softened by the sound of your voice as hard as you've ever seen them. you squeeze his fingers gently. "bucky," you coo, "i'm not dying anymore."

bucky turns to you immediately, squinting, "that's not funny." it's like deja vu, but you're not sure from where.

a vein on bucky's neck throbs, and you're aware that you're pushing it, so you stop for a second, "i was just kidding, i-"

"no!-" bucky's voice is near yelling, so he shuts his eyes for a moment, continuing in a lower voice, "you almost died, do you know how terrifying that is? you nearly bled out in my arms." sam, nat and steve, who were waiting for you to wake up next to bucky, pause when he raises his voice. "bucky-" you start, softer now, trying to sit up. bucky stands, "listen to me!"

steve stands, beginning to put a hand on bucky's shoulder, "buck-" he's silenced with a cold look from bucky. sam gets to his feet too, telling steve and nat to give you both a minute. they do, after nat kisses your cheek like she always does when you get hurt. you're sitting on the edge of the bed now, reaching for bucky, "bucky?"

"you don't... you don't know how much you scared me, y/n. you have to stop being so careless," he says after a few seconds. you furrow your brows, "i'm not careless, i'm confident in my skills."

"you are. you're careless and reckless and hasty and i need you to not be," he says harshly, you frown. "why? i'm fine and i'm always going to be-"

"you don't- you don't understand!-" bucky snaps. "then help me understand," you implore. bucky closes his eyes tightly again, breathing in slowly. "the things... that i feel for you are unlike anything i have ever felt before, and i can't- i can't lose you, okay?"

"you're not going to," you assure, extending your arms towards him, noting the tiny ache in response. he walks over to you, letting you grab his jaw when he's close, you run your fingers over his cheeks gently. "i'll be more careful," you promise. bucky nods, tucking his face into the dip of your neck. you run your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck, letting him squeeze your waist almost to reassure himself you're actually there.

"hey," you say quietly after a few moments, pressing tender kisses to bucky's cheek, "sit down, i want to do something." you stand, grabbing onto bucky's arm when you stumble a little and promise him you're fine and are taking it easy. you take out the first aid kit from one of the cabinets, setting it down next to bucky, opening it and taking out everything you need. you begin to clean his cuts, putting a pink hello kitty bandaid over one of his particularly bad ones. it'll be gone within a day, but you can't resist, and it makes him laugh.

you hum while you dab at a small scratch next to his eye, and he chuckles lowly, you look up at him, "what?"

"you're still a little blue."