pairings: bucky barnes x reader, mentions of other avengers
warnings: mentions of a mission, mostly fluff
about: love letters with magnets; my contribution to kathie's () love letter writing challenge! i hope this fits!!

you had tried your best to wipe away the blood smeared across your cheekbones and stained into your suit, etched underneath your fingernails like a visible reminder to both yourself and everyone around you of what you do and who you are, yet it lingers, the vermillion visible in the lights when you turn to observe something next to you, the smell of blood sharp if you search for it too hard. the metal still stings your tongue.

but it's your best, and it does enough to lessen the stares you receive as you walk around a store in berlin. a red basket with silver metal handles loosely hangs from your fingers, heavy black tac boots contrasting with the honey feeling of the place you're in silent against the floor. the smell of old books surrounds the heavy scent of danger that still follows you as you walk, even if you try to shake it off the minute you're done with your job, tucking the person you make yourself to be back into the person you are.

it's funny, you suppose—the contrast in you, bruised and cut in your mission gear, a stray blade you forgot to remove before you left hidden behind your calf, your hair up and tangled, the sting of red-beaded cuts still fresh, shopping in quite possibly the cutest store you'd ever been to. it makes you want to drag bucky here so he can look at the old books, revel in the warmth the place oozes. you think you'll bring him at some point.

a coo slips from cracked lips, pink-stained nails carefully reaching for a white cat magnet that is on the magnetic board next to pet care books, gasping when you spot a similar one of a dog that looks nearly identical to yours. cute.

with a smile and amount of care that mirrors the brutality running through your veins in the battlefield you were just in, you set both magnets down in your basket, gently patting them as if to settle them in. scanning the rest, you can only help your excited little dance when you find a magnet reading handsome. you grin when you spot a sign telling you that new magnets come in every week. you have to come back now.

you set it down in your basket and go to look for more, picking out one of the place you're in, and another of a little plant.

you're almost to the checkout counter when you notice a package of magnets, containing the alphabet and numbers twice, along with commas and periods. another one with only vowels sits next to it, and you can't help it when you look at the design. i needed vowels anyway, you convince yourself, putting them in your basket.

-

it surprises you when you walk in.

you suppose it's the two-or-so weeks since you last walked through the doors of your apartment, the last time you'd been in your kitchen, opening the fridge door to take out the milk for you and bucky had been a memory, the only reprieve you'd had from the violence you were hired to create.

you can understand now why wanda couldn't help a startled gape when she came to yours and bucky's apartment last month, shocked stare dragging over the kitchen covered in magnets. you'd gotten so used to a magnet-less place during the mission that all possible magnetic surfaces covered in magnets of all kinds make your lips part a little.

although it's not like every inch is covered, it's still staggering to see how large the collection you hadn't even realized you started had gotten. your message from a few days ago is still spelled out on the fridge with letters of varying design. i miss you (already) in upper and lowercase, shiny and matte of varied colors. you smile a little at the fact that bucky hadn't taken it down since you left, having only added miss you more underneath. you spot i love you in one corner of your oven, something you'd sleepily strung together one night you were trying to stay up to wait for him.

you greet alpine as you catch the note bucky left for you on the microwave, food in the fridge, with an improvised heart made of different magnets next to it–even if you had tons of actual heart magnets on your fridge.

"how've you been, gorgeous?" you ask the cat that purrs at you in greeting softly, bending down to scratch her head and nearly being knocked down by your dog as she runs at you. "'missed me, huh, ducky?" you laugh, kissing her nose as she tries to lick your cheek. "how'd you take care of dad, huh?"

neither of them respond, but continue to rally around you to welcome you back.

you ask them where bucky is and at the sound of his name, duck runs to your bedroom. you smile, petting alpine for a second more before heading in duck's direction, alpine at your feet.

you swear you've never felt as much relief that you arrived to shower first on the jet than now, as you observe bucky sleeping peacefully, face nuzzled into a shirt of yours.

"oh, i missed you so much, honey," you whisper to him even though he can't hear you, letting your feet drag you over to the bed, where you lean down to press your lips against bucky's forehead, tucking away stray hairs behind his ear as you lay the bag of magnets on the bed. laying down next to him, you gently pry away the shirt that barely smells of your perfume now, settling yourself next to him. it doesn't take too long for him to respond and unconsciously pull you to him, arms wrapping around your waist and pressing you against his chest. you hum happily as you feel his nose against your head, lips lazily kissing the top of your head before he blinks himself awake.

"doll?" he asks groggily.

"uh huh," you reply with a light laugh, "i'm home, honey. i missed you."

"i missed you, too," he mumbles, sinking his face deeper into your hair, hands tightening around you, "'missed you a lot."

you lay kisses over the expanse of his chest, all the way up to his throat where you can reach. he hums sleepily, hugging you closer. he's warm in all the ways you can imagine, the love he had to contain when you were gone spiling in the form of lingering lips and soft touches. "d'you see my message?" he asks, on the edge of sleep. he's referring to his most recent little love letter–this time spelled out on your microwave and informing you of how proud of you he was, laid out fo you before you left.

you hum, "t'was the only thing that kept me from going insane, honey."

bucky's lips curve into a soft smile that stays when he allows himself to succumb to sleep, the arms securely looped around you ensuring you'll still be there when he wakes up, ready to pepper you in even more love and coddle you over the small cut on your forehead.

you can't seem to close your eyes for too long, never wanting to keep your sight away from the vision of bucky, comfortable and safe, relaxed in the way he never allows himself to be. your eyes trail over the shapes of his face, one of the arms around him unraveling so you can trace the lines of his vibranium arm with your fingertips.

remembering the magnets you had been observing in the quinjet on the way, you slyly pull the bag towards you, some of the letters you'd been fingering in interest spilling over, making you smile as you begin to spell things out on his arm.

my sweet boy, you manage to spell, grinning softly at the assortment of pretty letters that are ordered into his nickname. i love you, you spell next, repeating the phrase right underneath it because just once is not enough. beautiful, you add to the assortment.

you stick alpine's magnet right next to your spelling of my bucky, made with an upside-down lowercase q. safe, you find yourself writing, home.

it hits you then, as you write verses of love on your boyfriend's arm, how much you love him. it weighs you down how he'll never be able to know because how could he when even you weren't aware of the weight of your love for him. you trace your fingertip over i love you, repeating the motion a couple more times until you're doing it on his chest, and the words are tumbling from your lips, "i love you, bucky."

"i love you, too, sweetheart," he mumbles through sleep, startling you how immediate, how clear the answer was. bucky had never talked in his sleep before, much less answered, and a smile pulls at your lips, urging you to close your eyes even if you don't want to, unwilling to stop looking at the man you are able to call yours. my bucky, your fingers dance on his skin, nudging your nose against his chest,

that's how bucky wakes up the next day, with you in his arms, the feeling of homesickness that had called his heart home gone with your presence back in his embrace. he tightens his hold on you when his eyes flutter open, a finger gently tucking away strands of hair that fall on your closed eyes. it's when he notices the small, colorful faux plant on the metal. he doesn't bother to try to wave it off anymore after having woken up in a similar situation, instead grasping you more firmly with his flesh hand so he can stretch out his metal hand and observe it.

a dopey smile overtakes his face when he catches all the different words you've spelled all over his arm, his eyes stalling on each word so as to absorb it in all its meanings, all your love.

love is written multiple times, all the things you swear in soft whispers bright and loud and colorful on his arm.

he cocks his head at himself, eyeing the vibrant letters that cover the metal of his arm, the words you'd sworn to him finally settling and letting him see deeper than just vibranium and wakandan technology, past the weapon he had thought his arm to be. he can pretend it isn't something made of destruction and blood when it's covered in flowers and cats and letters.

with a watery laugh, he rakes fingers through your hair again, catching a glimpse of a magnet on the inside of his wrist. it's new, he notices, cursive letters spelling out handsome, and two lowercase L's underneath it as if to highlight the word. pretty is on his elbow, safe on his bicep. home, he reads, and swears he could cry. he's home, he's yours.

i love you, he whispers against your skin between pressed kisses, i love you, he writes on the fridge so you can see it before you leave for work. i love you, he spells across the counter with assorted magnets one night.

marry me, he spells next.