pairings: spencer reid x reader, platonic!bau x reader
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arnings: alcohol consumption, being drunk, mention of a kink but it's literally nothing
about: your favorite white boy
a/n: inspired by tiktok lol, hello if you're from there!
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smiles were painted sloppily on your faces before any of you could even begin to consume alcohol, which was a scarce sight in your line of work, but had become less of an rarity when you and spencer had started to date.

especially when a case had ended as well as the last one had- no more victims since the team came, and an unsub sitting unhappily in a jail cell.

however, work was the last (well, not the very last, but close enough) thing on your mind as you intertwined your fingers with penelope’s, blowing a kiss at spencer when morgan dragged him away to some other part of the new club you all (except hotch) had gone to.

the music was blaring, and you could feel the beat drum in your ears, the strong smell of alcohol and sweat crowding the space you were in. you didn’t mind any of it that much as emily handed you a drink she had ordered for you.

you peered at the electric blue substance inside the glass, looking back up to emily with a question in your eyes.

she either didn’t see you or didn’t care, although you were sure it was the former when she downed her own glass in thirty second.

you smiled when she whooped, putting an arm around jj as she pointed at you, “your turn!”

you sighed, looked at your boyfriend, you stood awkwardly next to morgan, and gulped the drink down, wincing immediately.

“holy shit, emily, what the hell is this?”
emily shrugged, only pushing herself out of the booth, “shots, now.”

you heard penelope laugh beside you and you shook your head, shooting a wink at spencer when you noticed he was looking at you.

three more of those weird blue drinks later, and a couple shots, you were giggly, scrunching your nose as you blabbered on about something about spencer.
he hadn’t come back yet, and you missed him, choosing instead to tell your friends about one of his kinks.

“i know! but-” you hiccuped, giggling, “he really likes it when i-”

“hey, y/n,” a voice interrupted, but you didn’t recognize it through your excited words and ignored him, stilling and frowning when arms started to loop around your waist. “hey, man, i have a boyfriend,” you slurred, finally looking to your side to see spencer.

“i know,” he said, and you gasped, hand going over your mouth. “this is him!” you squealed, making grabby hands at him.
spencer squinted at you, then looked back at jj, who had only been tricked into less than two of the unknown blue drinks and was moderately sober.

“what did she drink?”

jj shrugged, tending to her own very drunk girlfriend.

you stared at your boyfriend, giggling without meaning to and making him look back at you. “you’re so pretty-” you hiccupped, stretching one of your hands to touch his face, and trace the defined line of his jaw.

“wow,” you whispered loudly, making spencer laugh. not even a second after, you heard the excited squeal of penelope, who was in the middle of the dance floor clinging onto derek’s arm.

you snorted at her and shook your head, looking at spencer again, “she’s so drunk,” you slurred. your boyfriend nodded, “yeah- alright, i think it’s about time to take you all home.”

you shrugged, drowsiness suddenly coming in hard and you yawned. “mhm,” you hummed, leaning your head on jj’s shoulder after spencer left and falling asleep.

you woke up slightly less drunk, in derek’s arms. you looked at the man and raised an eyebrow, “am i dreaming?” you flirted, and derek laughed. “i know i’m not, you’re heavier than you look, l/n.”

you huffed in indignation, “how dare you speak to a lady like that?”

“oh, i’m not speaking to any lady right now.”
you gasped, blinking at him, your conversation slipping your mind in the second you thought something else. “where are we?”

“rossi’s, spencer’s apartment is too far away and rossi said it was fine.”

you groaned, “i don’t want to throw up in his billion dollar mansion!”

derek chuckled again, signaling to someone you didn’t care to look at.

you closed your eyes when you were in rossi’s house, the lights making your head pound.

“penny!” you dragged out, making a satisfied noise when you heard penelope’s response.

you opened your eyes after a few seconds, squinting slightly until you saw spencer.
you gasped, opening your eyes wide as you pointed at him, “there he is! there’s my favorite white boy!”

spencer smiled at you, ignoring derek’s laugh as he crouched down in front of you. “boyfriend,” you stated, setting your hands on his cheeks and pressing a sloppy kiss to his nose.

you yawned a few seconds after, muttering a goodnight before dropping your head on spencer’s chest and closing your eyes.

the day after, you would be nursing a terrible hangover and an overwhelming urge to murder emily after seeing the videos of last night.