Hermione:
  Dear future husband,
I've got standards so high that not even a Basilisk that's sanding can reach. I think you fall a little short. Also, your rat is cuter than you and gingers have no soul.
                                                  Love your future wife,
                                                         Hermione Granger
PS: Stop eating for one second!
     
  Megan Trainer comes up out of no where and starts singing " Dear Future Husband" to Ron.