CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT;

AMORTENTIA

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Professor, I think I've done it wrong," Cassie said, her hand lowering and a disappointed frown taking over her lips as Slughorn waddled over to inspect her work.

"Oh, dear me," said the Professor, peering into her cauldron with a distressed look. He referred to the textbook sitting open on her desk for a moment, eyes glancing between it and the potion bubbling in the cauldron, before he hummed. "You're only off a stir or two. The pink sheen appears in the blink of an eye, so you needn't worry. Needn't worry at all, Miss Black." He pat her on the shoulder and left to supervise Dean and Seamus throwing ingredients at each other on the other side of the room.

Cassie nodded in understanding, doing as instructed and watching as the bubbling liquid shifted to a pearly color instantly, as if a switch had been flipped. She let out a soft hum of satisfaction, her eyes flicking to the cauldron next to hers for a fraction of a second. Nott still hadn't even managed to get the swirly steam bubbles evaporating from the surface of his Amortentia, so he was much too far behind for her to even think of him as competition.

"Looking good," he complimented, though his eyes remained on his own cauldron and made it difficult to tell whether he was referring to her potion or something else. "Ever wondered how Amortentia gets its scent?"

"Never."

"Well, I have," he continued airily, lazily flicking his ladle around the perimeter of the cauldron, "and it turns out, it's 'cause we're magic. Crazy, innit?"

"Mind-blowing," she agreed, side-eying him curiously. He had not said anything about Malfoy since that day in the hallway, and it felt like the longer she went without answers, the more questions built up inside Cassie. She had attempted to get some information from him by subtly weaving her questions into casual banter, but, as it turned out, Theodore Nott was smarter than he let on. He almost always figured out her plans before she could even execute the first step.

"Care to share with your eager partner as to what your Amortentia smells like?" Nott wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in, nudging her shoulder. Cassie took a step to the side and busied herself with flicking through the pages of her textbook. Nott scoffed. "Come on. That embarrassed of what you're attracted to?"

"Shove off, Nott," said a voice from Cassie's left.

Both Theo and Cassie turned to the side to see Harry and Ron glaring at the Slytherin. Ron had not managed the pearly sheen of Amortentia nor the swirling steam particles, whilst Harry had clearly enlisted the help of the Half-Blood Prince to get his potion to exactly where it was supposed to be.

"Ooh, not very friendly, Weasel," said Nott, his hazel eyes sweeping the redhead challengingly. "Not getting jealous of our new..." He covered Cassie's ears with his hands, though she could still hear him say, "lover, are we?"

Ron clenched his fists and Harry narrowed his eyes. "You shut your mouth," said Ron. "I was drugged."

   "Ah, right. With the very potion that sits before us now," said Nott, theatrically spreading his arm over the bubbling cauldron. "Enlighten us, Weasley. What do you smell in the Amortentia? Not a certain someone's perfume?"

Ron scrunched up his face and jabbed a finger at Nott. "For your information," he inhaled a big whiff of Cassie's Amortentia, "I smell spearmint. And– and... parchment."

"Oh?" said Nott, quirking an eyebrow. "Even better. I remember Granger mentioning precisely the same thing on our first day back. Coincidence?"

   "Leave us alone," said Harry, glaring with utter hatred at the snake standing by Cassie's side. Ron had gone completely red-faced and speechless. "Get back to your work."

   "And the Boy-Who-Lived speaks!"

   "Drop it, Nott," said Cassie warningly, her eyes glancing to where Professor Slughorn was focused on helping Lavender and Parvarti.

   "No, 'cause now I'm curious." Nott's eyes sparkled with mischief and he gave an impish grin. "Go on, Potter. Tell us what you smell." He leaned in to Cassie and muttered, so only she could hear, "I always thought Potter and Granger would end up together."

   She glowered at him, before turning her attention back to Harry. "You don't have to say anything, Harry. Besides, I'm sure our lovely friend Nott would be delighted to share what he smells."

   Nott's confidence wavered – Cassie could tell in the way his shoulders tensed. His eyes swept over the potion as if sizing it up for a challenge. "Potter first."

   Harry arched an eyebrow, now recognizing that it was he who had the high ground. "Not scared, are you?"

   "Me? Not at all," Nott replied. "But I asked first."

"Very mature," Cassie cut in, "but we've got a potion to be making, correct? All three of you, knock it off with your... masculinities and overdramatized threats. And though I'm very sure neither of you are too scared to admit what you smell in the potion, I would appreciate it if I could get back to work without your bickering to distract me."

The three of them begrudgingly returned to their cauldrons, all muttering snide remarks under their breath as they stirred. Cassie could not help her eyes from trailing to a certain boy with a lightning scar; his stare flickered away quickly, but she had once again caught him gazing. She shook her head lightly as if to rid it of her thoughts. Harry could not have smelled what she thought he smelled in the Amortentia – could he? He could not be breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo, could he?

   Now that Hermione had pointed it out, Cassie couldn't help but notice how different he acted towards her. Sure, Harry loved both Hermione and Cassie; but in different ways, and it was obvious. He treated Hermione with the respect and compassion a brother would treat his sister with, while he regarded Cassie with intimate stares and subtle brushes of hands.

But what she had said to Hermione still stood; Cassie did not know how she felt towards the Boy-Who-Lived. Once, she had felt the same way. But too much had happened for her to pretend that she cared about childish romance anymore. She had lost too much to allow more people into her heart. Somehow, she knew she would lose Harry if she let him in, and she was utterly determined to keep so from happening.

   It had already transpired in too many deaths for her to allow herself to love.

She shook her head again and returned her focus to Nott, who was off in a ramble about his mother or his sister; Cassie didn't listen to a word he said. Instead, she gazed into the pot of love potion before her, brow furrowed as she tried to discern where she had recognized the third scent from.

   "And time's up!" announced Slughorn, breaking Cassie from her thoughts and throwing a hand into the air to yield everyone from continuing to brew their potions. "Splendid! Well, let's see how far everyone managed to get, shall we?"

   He began to bustle around the classroom, inspecting students' cauldrons, but Cassie had given Malfoy her full, undivided attention. He had just slipped in the room, unnoticed by most. Cassie watched as he took his spot next to Crabbe. What had held him back from coming to class for so long? The period was almost over, so even then, what was the reason for coming to attend the last three minutes of class?

And then, Malfoy's eyes moved to Nott, wide with urgency. When he caught Cassie staring, Malfoy quickly calmed his expression and sneered at her, but she tilted her head to the side, a daring look in her eyes. He scowled. All Cassie did was quirk an eyebrow knowingly and Malfoy's death glare faltered for a moment.

She tried to repress a smirk as she turned back to face Slughorn, who had just hobbled over to her table to judge hers and Nott's Amortentia. "A very fine job by Miss Black, if I do say so myself. And... Knut... keep up the good work!" He pounded Nott on the back encouragingly and left to compliment Harry some more, leaving Cassie to snicker at Nott, who glared at her in return.

"Nice work today, as always, Black," he said, extending a hand for her to shake. She acquiesced and nodded her head in acknowledgement. "See you tomorrow for our daily dose of each other."

   He sauntered off to meet up with Malfoy, both boys ducking their heads in and immediately breaking into a familiar chorus of whispers. Cassie watched the two Slytherins leave, followed closely by Blaise, who spared Cassie a glance and pursed his lips in a tight smile.

   "They're really bothering you, aren't they?" Hermione appeared at Cassie's side, a frown on her face.

   "No, it's not that they're being annoying," Cassie was quick to say, shaking her head. "I just wish I could find out what they're up to."

"You're not the only one," said Harry, coming up behind Cassie and placing a consoling hand on her shoulder. She cast a sideways glance at Hermione; her eyes widened in the slightest and she immediately broke her gaze from the pair.

   "Right, well," said Cassie, turning so Harry's hand fell from her shoulder, "uh, we've got to get to.. I've got.. Divination..."

   And she left her friends to ponder her reticence as she stalked off to the North Tower. The walk was just as long as it had been in all her previous years of experience, but felt much more tedious and tiring in her feelings of uncertainty. The hesitance seemed to cloud her vision, leaving her to see nothing but what was directly in front of her, her mind occupying the rest of her sight.

"Welcome, welcome," said Professor Trelawney, the moment Cassie climbed through the trapdoor leading to the mystical and incense-filled classroom. Cassie's ordinary, in-the-presence-of-Trelawney headache seemed to snap to alert. "I hope all is well with you today. Oh, oh, no!" She gravitated toward Cassie, seemingly floating, as her feet weren't visible beneath her many layers of cloth. "I see an.. an aura of disarray and perplexity in your wake!"

"Gee, thanks," Cassie replied dryly, setting her bag down in her spot.

"Oh, my dear, do share," said Professor Trelawney. "What is the matter? What has your mind so muddled?"

Cassie studied the misty-eyed woman with percipience. Her grey eyes bore into Trelawney's comically large glasses, searching for a sign of insincerity, but found nothing besides the bleary and unclear future gazing back at her.

Cassie thought about spilling the entirety of her trauma onto Professor Trelawney's lap, freeing herself from carrying the liability of her past and sharing it with someone else. She hadn't shared her feelings with anyone in – what, two years? Three? The last person she opened up to was dead. That surely didn't bode well on her own conscience; how would someone else react to her sharing the stress of the past three years?

Her eyes drew blurry and she blinked back a few tears, still making mute eye contact with the Seer before her. Cassie cleared her throat and made the final decision that the past was her load to bear, not someone else's.

   "I wouldn't want to burden you with my personal issues, Professor," she responded professionally, lowering her head to avoid making eye contact and straightening the parchment on her desk. "May we get on with the lesson, please?"

   Professor Trelawney continued to gaze at Cassie until Neville dropped his textbook and the loud noise jarred Trelawney back into reality. She turned to the rest of the class and moistened her lips, spreading her hands to gain their attention. "Hello, students!" she said, her voice returning to its usual dazed tone. "I have foreseen that you would return at precisely this very moment on this very day..."

   As she continued, all Cassie could think about was how Ron would have responded to such a comment. "Yeah, it's not like we have a schedule or anything," he would have said, snickering with Harry, while Cassie glared silently at the pair of them. The thought brought a slight smile to her face and she even wished that Ron and Harry had still been in the class with her.

She left Divination a little while later with an assigned essay on the upcoming full moon and how it would affect one's mood swings, an essay which Cassie decided early on that she would not be partaking in. In fact, the prompt simply inspired her to write a letter to her godfather.

"Who're you writing to?" Hermione asked as she entered the common room. Cassie sat in one of the red arm chairs by the fire, even though it had long since flickered out. She glanced up from her half-filled parchment.

"Moony," she replied, turning her attention back to the letter and focusing all of her awareness on the words pouring from her quill. She never knew what to say to Moony when it was nearing the full moon; should she be kind? Or maybe helpful? Or maybe she shouldn't be speaking to him at all when the moon was almost full...

Today, she decided on being pleasant. She told Moony about her day – leaving the less enjoyable parts out, of course – and how she was currently skipping her homework, but she also told him not to worry and that Professor Trelawney liked her too much to even consider giving her a bad mark.

Just as she began attaching the letter to Cupid's talon, another barn owl flew in from the window and began pecking her hand aggressively. Cassie yelped and drew her hand away, glaring at the barn owl contemptuously, until she realized there was a letter attached to it. She carefully peeled the letter from its foot.

Dear Cassiopeia,
Do not write to Remus Lupin any time soon. He is preoccupied.
Sincerely, Professor Dumbledore.

She read and reread the letter multiple times, then checked the back to see if she'd missed anything. So.. Dumbledore was barring her from writing to Moony now? Merlin, she hated that old wizard more and more every day...

He's going to die, a voice in her mind reminded her. You don't have to stop it. You could let it happen.

Cassie quickly diminished the thought and busied herself with the task of ripping up her unsent letter. She pretended not to take notice of how quickly the idea had come to mind.