Trying to remember quotes from this potato is really hard, so this will just be some incorrect quotes 'cus I said so.
Viper is playing right now by derivakat.
(This was from a generated incorrect quotes)

Potato : I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people.

Me : I'm a reverse necromancer.
Potato :Isn't that just killing people?
Me : Ah, technically.

Potato : Mint is just cold spicy.
Me and Potato: ...
Me: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

Potato : *venting endlessly to Me about their week*
Me, every once in a while which have heard worse: *in a monotone* Wow, that is so wild.

Me: I'm so tired.
Potato : Did you get to bed late?
Me: No.
Potato : Did you do something strenuous?
Me: No.
Potato : Then why are you tired?
Me: I'm alive.
Potato : Sounds exhausting.

Potato: Will, you look deep in thought. What's wrong?
Me : Did you know you can look at any object and know what it's like to lick it? Even if you've never touched it before?
Potato: I'm never asking you anything ever again.

Me: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don't murder someone right now.
Potato : There are no books in prison.
Me: *sighs* Thank you.

Potato : I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole house smell like bacon.
Me: That's true, but it also smells like fire and panic.
Potato : You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

Me, in a obsidian cage: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?
Me: I must be losing it...

Me: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.
Potato : Will, is that legal?
Me: When the cops aren't around, anything's legal!

Potato: heyyy Will, how's your... drink?
Me : What do you mean drink? It's Tea.
Potato: You sure?? *Looks to tea kettle and stove*
Me : *Looks to tea kettle and stove*
*Cement sitting beside the stove*
Me :...I'm on my third fucking drink right now, I should be dead.

Me: Knock, knock.
Potato : Who's there?
Me: Boo!
Potato : Boo who?
Me: Why are you crying?
Potato : I'm not crying.
Me: Hello notcrying, I'm Will.

Me: Did you like the food I made?
Potato : No, not really.
Me: But I put my heart and soul into it!
Potato : No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

Potato : I taught the dog a new trick. *throws ball* Fetch!
Dog: *just stands there*
Me: He didn't do it.
Potato : I taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself.

Potato : You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch.
Me: What changed your mind?
Potato : Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

Me: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?
Potato : Dorito's cool ranch.
Me:
Me: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.
Potato : I love that song.

Potato, blew up my base and killed my pets in Minecraft: Am I in trouble?
Me : Take a guess.
Potato: No?
Me: Take another guess.

*Potato  and Me are planning to break in somewhere*
Potato : We need to distract the guards.
Me: Right.
Potato : What are we gonna do?
Me: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Potato :
Me:
Potato : Deal.

Me: My assistance will be an act of beneviolence.
Potato : ...Don't you mean benevolence?
Me: No.

Potato : I'm proud to say I've come over my fear of ghosts!
Me: Eyy, that's the spirit!
Potato : *gasps* whErE???!!!??

Me: Potato ! Have you no dignity?
Potato : Of course not! How long have we known eachother?

Me: How would you like your coffee?
Potato : As dark as my soul.
Me: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

Me: *about to destroy my arms* Is this a good idea?
Me: Probably not.
Me: Do I care?
Me: No.

Me: If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "thank you" is all I need.
Me: Not all this "how did you get into my house" business.
Potato: but please, how?
Me: your door was unlocked and I know where you live, you muppet.

Me: The next time I open up to someone, it'll be about my problem.

Potato: *writing a letter*
Potato: Dear Santa,
I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty...
And it was worth it you fat, judgemental bastard.

Me: I'm sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don't know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It's rude.

Potato : *gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Potato : Nah, I'm just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

Potato : All the sudden I got a random burst of energy, and I think it's my body's last hurrah before it completely shuts down.

Potato : I was put on this earth to do one thing.
Potato : Luckily I forgot what it was so I can do whatever I want.

Me: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.

Potato , slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Potato : I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.
Me: I just wanted to know if you wanted dinner...

Me: The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.

Me: hey, do you want to go get some tea?
Potato : No thanks.
Potato : I'm god.

Potato: It kind of feels like you're prioritizing work over our friendship.
Me: Because I barely know you?
Potato: Fine, message received.

Me: I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Potato .
Me: Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.
Me: But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
Potato : Hmm... I don't know what you were supposed to get revenge for, either.
Me: I can only assume you got what was coming to you. Not 100 percent sure, though.
Potato : Well, whatever I did, I guess I deserved it.
Me: Let that possibly be a lesson to you.

*Potato and Me's house is on fire, but they don't know it*
Potato : Damn, it's hot in here.
Me: I know, it's so hot there's smoke coming out of the vent!
Also Me : wait..
Potato : First of all, I'm assuming you have no idea what the problem with that statement is.
Me: What? Oh
Me: we need to get the fuck out of here, NOW.

Potato : Do crabs think people walk sideways?
Me: ...Potato , what the hell.

That's all, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA