Maca,

I’m glad you decided to follow the letter and I really hope you liked what I prepared for you. I know it was silly but I hope you at least laughed. I remember when you said how hard it’s for you to smile sometimes so all I want to do today is that: to make you smile. I hope it’s working.

As You Like It is one of my favourite places and even if you don’t like this city much, I want to show you it is not that bad. Do you want me to show you the good places of this city?

I sigh as I keep reading the letter in his messy and masculine handwriting. Now I’m sure it belongs to a man and as I read how he wants to make me smile, I can’t help doing so. The smile is small but it’s there nonetheless and that’s wonderful. It is true that sometimes I can’t even fake smile and I’m impressed he remembers that and that he’s doing all this to help me.

And I do, I do want to see what this city has to offer. I want to see places like this café, places I will love and that I’ll miss when I leave. I want my stranger to show me these places, so I keep reading.

You once told me that you love books. Did you know there’s a book fair today? Well, this weekend and it ends today. It’s kind of small and they are all second hand books, but who knows? Maybe you can find your favourite there or your next favourite book. Would you like to go? You’ll find the instructions in the next page.

I’m sure if you go you’ll find another letter in the fair, just ask the man with three cats to give you the next letter.

I’ll see you soon (:

PS: No, I didn’t forget the next letter. It’s L.

H and L. I have no clue of what his name could be and I don’t even know if L is part of his surname or firs name but I know one thing for sure: I’m so going to that fair. And if there’s a man with three cats I think I’ll stay there forever. Cats are too cute to leave behind and if there are books I think it’s impossible. My stranger shouldn’t have picked this place as the second stop. Maybe I’ll just drop everything there and just call him H. I’ll leave him a post-it saying ‘sorry I didn’t make it. Got carried away with the books and cats.’ He should understand.

Shaking my head I turn the page and find the instructions. It’s not too far away and I’m eager to go so I put the pages inside the envelope and take out my journal and put them inside. I put the picture inside too, smiling at it. All the waiters are smiling and you can tell I’m having a great time, too. Long time since I looked happy in a picture, really happy.

Thank you, H. For this.

I leave a few pounds to pay for the breakfast and more for tip. They actually made me really happy this morning. I know they said —sang— that they don’t even work here but I hope that when I come back I can see them again, even if they don’t sing. I just… it’s hard to explain but I like them already because they didn’t have to do what they did. They helped a friend, they did a whole musical number for a stranger because their friend wanted to make a girl smile. They did it, they took part of something that just sounds crazy and that, that is amazing. And that’s why I like them all, these theatre geeks as they called themselves.

I leave the café knowing that I’ll be back, that I’ll come here over and over again and I’ll make this a regular for me. I have just accepted it.

I’m really happy I decided to follow my stranger’s letters and collect his name. Without a doubt is something that I would’ve never done before. Something I don’t think will ever happen and it’s a different experience. Something that I will never forget even if after I meet him I never see him again. This day is already unforgettable and it’s just begun.

As I head to these street where the book fair is held I think of that time I told him about books and how much they mean to me. It’s crazy how someone can know you but not know you. How through small and simple post-its you collect information about someone. I’ve been collecting information about him… and he’s been collecting information about me.

• • •

One week after I found the first post-it, we still were exchanging notes every single day. I would find one in the morning and I would leave one for him in the afternoon, when I was heading back home. Sometimes they were just a wish for a good day and me saying thanks but the one I found that morning was different.

I was having one of those days. It had started terribly but at the same time as usual for me. I hadn’t slept at all the whole night. I was just tossing and turning all night. At some point I just grabbed my iPad and looked for fan fictions of anything. Doctor Who, Sherlock, Criminal Minds, Orphan Black, Harry Potter, anything! I just wanted to read something but I could only find smut or poorly written stories. Nothing that could meet my standards and I didn’t know which book I could read next. It had been a horrible night and when my alarm went off I felt like throwing up. In fact, I did throw up. I couldn’t eat breakfast, I couldn’t even have a cup of tea. Just a bit of water to swallow with my pills. I wanted to stay home, I wanted to forget everything. I hated Uni, I hated everything and I just wanted to disappear but I had an exam and there was no way I could miss another exam this term.

So somehow I managed to leave my house and drag my feet to campus, hating everything, everyone. I just wanted to seclude myself in my room and forget there was a world out there in which I had to take part of. I wanted oblivion but I couldn’t have that.

And on my way to Uni I realised I had forgotten a paper I had to hand that day, which meant I had to go back, running, to get it back. Then as I ran in that occasion to uni, already late for the exam, my backpack opened and all my belongings fell to the floor and no one stopped. No one helped. They kept walking, stepping on my folder and notebooks. Frustrated to no end, I kneeled and started to pick up my stuffs, tears welling up in my eyes. Tears because I wanted to go home and I couldn’t. Tears because I had obligations I didn’t want to face. Because I wanted to quit. Because nothing was helping me to feel better. Because I was alone. Because I was getting desperate.

The first tears fell on my hands and I stopped breathing, I only looked at my hands and saw them shaking, as usual, and I hated that. Why couldn’t they stop shaking for once?

I balled my fists and closed my eyes as tightly as I could, counting to ten in my head and trying to breathe. I was late and that only made me anxious, but I needed to calm down or I would only do a terrible job in the exam. I needed to breathe.

When I open my eyes I was a bit better but still anxious and desperate. Then I saw what was in front, what I had forgotten about. A bench. A simple bench in this simple park, but at the same time a bench that was different from any other because this one had a post-it pasted there, a yellow paper with some words scribbled across… waiting for me.

That made my heart beat again and I grabbed everything quickly and run to it. I grabbed the post-it, and even if I was late, I sat down and read it.

I know some days look like a rainy cloud is on top of you. You know what I think about when that happens? My favourite things. Those things I love and I smile. Today, think of those things you love. Focus on the good things in life. You’ll make it through (:

Different tears welled up and fell down my cheeks, tears that didn’t taste salty. These were relief tears because this person, this stranger had told me exactly what to do even if he didn’t know I needed him to tell me that. He couldn't possibly imagine I was having another bad day. He couldn’t guess I needed these words more than ever. Yet he left that note for me.

A sob escaped my lips, a sob that wasn’t sad. A sob that let my frustration go and as I looked for my journal and pasted the post-it I started to think of all those things I loved. And still thinking of those things, I stood up and walked to Uni.

I thought of warm cups of tea next to the heating in a rainy day, with a blanket on my legs and my dog Oddie next to me. I thought of that feeling of finally going to bed after a long day. I thought of crêpes of Nutella and banana. I thought of books, of amazing stories that could take me anywhere. I thought of all those books I’d read and all those books I wanted to read. I thought of all those characters that left a mark in my soul, those characters I loved as if they were real. And thinking of those things actually helped me to make it through that day.

When I was walking back home I left a post-it for my stranger.

Thank you. You always have the right words to say. I though of books because books make me happy. What are your favourite things?

That was the first time I asked him something and the first time I shared a bit of myself with him and as I left the post-it there and walked home I realised how much I wanted to know. I wanted to know more about this person that helped me so much without even being present in my life, just through words.

The next morning I found an answer.

I like the smell of bread in the morning, just taken out of the oven. It warms me up, it makes me happy. Have a good day, don’t forget to smile (:

I had got an answer and that made me happy, and that made me smile honestly that day.

• • •

Things like what you like don’t tell much about you yet at the same time they say so much. Like knowing he likes the smell of bread just taken out of the oven tells me he is someone who pays attention to the small things, who stops when everyone keeps going. It tells me he likes the feeling of being at home, warm and comfortable.

It’s funny because I know many things, small things, about this stranger and I know there’s so much more to know and I really want to find out who the person behind all these post-its is, the one who has made me smile and who has given me strength when I was weak.

I really want to find all the letters, but above all I want to find him.

And as I keep walking to the street I can’t wipe the smile off of my lips because he remembers that I love books, from that post-it, from that one time I mentioned to him that books make me happy and now I’m going to a book fair. He really wants to make me happy and that’s something beautiful.

I know Kristal said he’s a good guy and he’ll never harm me and I believe her. Someone who goes through so much just to make me happy, to make me smile, couldn’t possibly want to harm me in any way. If he wanted to do so he wouldn’t make me go through his scavenger hunt, he would just meet me.

So with every step I take I feel more confident I’m doing the right thing and I get more excited.

And then I see it. I’m in the street and this fair is nothing like I imagine. Although if we are being honest, I didn’t know what to expect. I just know I have to be there. Now. And I’m going.

-:-:-

Apologies for not updating before. I'm still struggling to find my pace and myself. I'm sorry I can't be stable just yet, but please bear with me.

I haven't told you but this book deals with a topic I think it's very important. Depression. Also, this book takes place in one day exactly and it has loads of flash backs, as you have noticed so far. Furthermore, I planned the story to have two books so you won't have to ask for sequel, it definitely will have have (:

Please, leave a comment with your thoughts and vote if you like it. Feel free to share it with your friends.

Bel, xx

PS: Follow me on twitter if you want to chat @BelWatson