I looked at my watch, Sharon would be here soon. I couldn't believe that I was actually going through with this, this would break her heart, but like Bucky said Sharon will just have to accept this. She walked in and sat down beside me. "Sharon," I said, "I'm going to be as honest as I can to you. These last year has been some of the best of my life. And I can say that you have been the most honest and trustworthy person I know, but sadly my heart has lead me to Nat." The scary thing about her expression was that there was none. "Okay," Sharon said, "my turn to talk, that's okay, I mean sometime your heart leads you other ways." Sharon walked out, I was astounded that she was so calm at the information that I had just told her. I walked out of the room feeling kind of bad and there I saw it. I walked past a door in the Avengers Tower looking for Nat when I found her in a room that I have never seen before. She was in a dark corner silently weeping and saying words of extremely fast in Russian. She didn't hear me come in. "Natasha?" I asked quietly and carefully. "Steve!" She said in a sudden movement. "What are you doing here?" Sounding tense. "I was looking for you, where were you! You do didn't respond to the messages I sent you! I was really worried. What is going on? Is it because of Fury? I can go talk to him!" She got up and walked to me. I felt she small fingers wrap around me. "You remember when you and Bucky were falling from the Tri Carriers?" I nodded still confused. "I saw you fall and hit the water, Steve I saw you die. Then I saw Bucky go after you thinking he might finish the job, but I saw him pull you out. I couldn't get to you for another hour. When we found you, you were barely breathing. We flew you to the nearest hospital and took the bullets out. But I just am terrified that I'm going to lose you to your best friend." I looked at her tear stained face, "Do you remember when the Winter Soldier shot you, and you lost a lot of blood," she nodded slightly, still clinging to me, "I was so scared that I would lose you, that you would be gone like Bucky, and when you saved me and Bucky from T'Challa, I was afraid that the government was going to catch you and kill you, Nat whenever you make the decision to save others over yourself, I'm always afraid that it will be your last stand." I moved her pure red curls out of her face, her tear filled brown eyes looked up at me. "Steve," she said with a shaky breath, "what if I lose you or if you lose me?" I looked at her, "I will never leave you, a part of me will always be with you." I pulled her close and held her close, "Nat, you must be tired, try to get some sleep." I walked Natasha to her room and waited for her to fall asleep, I turned to leave when she started mumbling in Russian. I knew from Bucky that she was having a terrible nightmare, I placed my arm on her and it all stopped. I didn't know what she was dreaming about, but she had told me so little about her past. I did understand a few words, "Please stop," she mumbled in Russian, "I don't want to, STOP!!!! Don't hurt me!" The final part startled me, "ready to comply." I knew I wasn't supposed to, but I shook Nat awake. "Steve? Help me!!!! I can't live like this anymore!!!" She burst into tears and I saw the fear in her eyes. Just a week ago a saw a powerful unbreakable women kick men twice her sizes butts. But what I saw here, wrapped in my arms crying was a broken stepped on doll. "Nat, listen to me, everything is going to be ok." She looked at me with dark brown piercing eyes. "In the red room, they would put you in an electric chair and clear your memory for about 2 days. When you get out of it, you either get terrible headaches or nightmares. I was the chosen one so I had to sit in that chair and while all the other children watched, I was shocked to my brain. In the two days you don't remember, you into a maze and run like a rat. For two days Steve!!!" She burst into tears again and I held her even closer. "Nat," I said, "the red room and Ivan, they're terrible people,and I swear when we find them, I'll personally make Ivan suffer the way you did."