CHAPTER 7

"ARE YOU certain about this, Kuya?" Rhett and Ream were having breakfast in one of Rhett's favorite restaurants and Rhett couldn't help commenting this after hearing what his brother planned to do now that he was back. "Aren't you taking it too fast? I mean, I get it, you like her, but isn't it, I don't know..." Rhett shrugged with a frown. "Too fast? Ilang beses mo pa lang siyang nakikita mula nang makilala mo siya sa Bali? Three? Four? Ni hindi nga kayo nagkakausap pa nang maayos mula nang makita mo siya ulit."

Kumunot ang noo ni Ream sa kapatid. "What's too fast?"

"You! And this woman, Syl! I'm sorry, Kuya, but I'm feeling skeptical about this."

"Oh." Ream calmly sipped his coffee and answered while placing the cup back on the table. "How is it too fast? I mean, I saw her in Bali, I'm attracted to her, and I like her. Isn't that enough?"

Rhett blew out a loud breath. "It's not about you liking her, it's about you, being...smitten, like you're in love or something!"

Ream frowned at his brother. "In love? Who?"

"You!"

"I am?" patanong na sagot ni Ream.

"Yes!" Rhett exclaimed. "I mean, you're willing to move heaven and earth just to help her. If that's not love, then what is?"

"Rhett, do you have to be in love to help a woman who's hurting and in pain?"

Natigilan si Rhett sa tanong ng kapatid. "I...I—I don't know. Don't you?"

Ream sighed and shook his head. "I like Syl. I tried to forget her, but nothing happened, as you know. I still like her; I'm attracted to her and I'm willing to help because she's the woman I like, and she needs help. Plain and simple."

"So...you're not in love with her?"

Ream shrugged. "I honestly don't know." Humilig si Ream sa likod ng kinauupuan. "I just want to help her. I want to see her happy—like when we were in Bali. She was smiling back then while we were talking, and I liked it. I want to see that smile again. I want to see that Syl. What's so bad about wanting that?"

Gulong-gulo na tinitigan ni Rhett ang nakakatandang kapatid. He didn't know what to call his brother at that moment—pure, or just plain ignorant when it came to love and liking someone? But maybe his brother just adored that woman and wanted her to be happy. Maybe it was not that complicated. And maybe this will fade away after his brother helped Syl. His brother had always been nice, after all.

"I thought you were in love with her because you said you can't move on."

Ream shrugged. "I like her."

Rhett sighed. "Kuya, magkaiba ang like sa love."

Ream shrugged again. "I know, and as of now, I like her. I like her to the point that I can't forget about her."

"That like will turn into love if you continue seeing her and helping her. Feelings develop overtime, Kuya."

Ream shrugged like it was not a big deal. "Then so be it. I saw and learned from my friends' experiences. Shit happens when you try to fight it, so, whatever. What will happen will happen, I guess."

"Are you not even scared at all?"

"Scared? Hmm. I'm not there yet. I'm busy thinking of ways to help her and what words to say to convince her to accept my help. It's more important to me than anything—more important than my 'like' for her. Rhett, you didn't see what I saw. It was too much—too dark and just bad. You saw Mom when your dad abused her. We were still kids back then. We couldn't do anything to save Mom. But now, I'm old enough to save someone. And this someone is the woman I'm attracted to. Of course I will move heaven and earth to help her. Isn't that normal? To make sure that the person you like is happy and safe?"

"Kuya..."

"Because if you didn't want them happy and safe...then that's not really like. That's just a person telling someone they like them, but they don't really mean it."

Rhett blew a loud breath and shook his head. "Fine. I rest my case. Go help her."

Ream smiled. "I will. I will not step back this time. I will see her free and happy. And then, maybe after that, I'll court her."

Mahinang natawa si Rhett. "Hindi mo pagsasabayin? Akala ko ba gusto mo siya?"

Nagkibit-balikat si Ream. "There's more pressing matters than my 'like'. I want to help her first."

Napailing si Rhett saka mahinang natawa. "Whatever you say. Good luck, Kuya."

Ream nodded and sipped his coffee. "Thanks. Sana nga lang siputin niya ako mamaya. At sana tanggapin niya ang tulong ko."

"I don't think a woman will say no to you after knowing you a little bit, Kuya." Rhett smiled proudly. "You are a total catch."

Mahinang natawa si Ream. "It's not about me, though. It's about her willingness to accept my help. Me, being a total catch as you said, doesn't matter."

Mahinang napailing si Rhett. "And if she declines your help, what are you going to do, Kuya? I know for a fact that a 'no' is a 'no' to you."

Ream sighed. "Hindi ko alam. Kaya nga pinagdarasal ko na sana tanggapin niya ang tulong ko. Wala naman akong masamang balak sa kaniya. Gusto ko lang tumulong."

Bumuntonghininga si Rhett. "Kuya, halos lahat ng tao, tumutulong dahil may kapalit o may kailangan sila. At nasisiguro kong alam na alam na niya 'yon. I know you want her to trust you, but Kuya, to people like Syl, trust is something they can't give easily. Hindi ko alam ang pinagdadaanan niya, pero kung kasinglala 'yon ng kay Mom dati, nasisiguro kong mahihirapan kang kunin ang tiwala niya."

"I know." Ream looked outside the restaurant's glass wall. "Kaya nga gusto ko siyang makausap. I want her to understand why I want to help."

Rhett just finished his breakfast and didn't say anything. Afterwards, after Rhett bade Ream farewell, Ream rode his car to visit the main branch of his jewelry store to pass the time. Just checking if everything was fine and if there were no problems.

So far, his stores were doing well. And the more Ream saw his employees doing their jobs properly, the more he wanted to take good care of them. He knew that without these hardworking people working for him, his store would be nothing.

"Don't forget to give me the result of the survey, Carlo," bilin ni Ream sa manager ng main store. "I want to see my employees' likes and dislikes."

Tumango si Carlo. "Yes, sir! Isi-send ko ho mamaya ang resulta sa email n'yo."

"Good. Thank you. Maiwan ko na kayo."

"Sige, ho, sir. Ingat kayo."

Tinanguan ni Ream ang mga empleyado niya bago umalis. Kapagkuwan ay tumingin sa relong pambisig para alamin kung anong oras na. Seeing that it was nearly time for his appointment with Syl, Ream drove to their meeting place, a restaurant he chose, and waited for Syl there.

Habang naghihintay kay Syl, kinuha ni Ream ang papel na palaging dala-dala sa pitaka at ang ballpen sa bulsa niya at nagsimula siyang mag-sketch. He was still not able to sketch a ring, so he opted to sketch bracelets and pendants. Habang nag-i-sketch, panay ang tingin ni Ream sa relong pambisig.

Medyo kinakabahan siya dahil baka hindi siya siputin ni Syl, pero laking pasasalamat niya nang makitang pumasok ang dalaga sa restaurant at naglakad patungo sa lamesa na inuukupa niya. Kaagad na itinabi ni Ream ang ini-sketch niya.

Syl was wearing a long-sleeved dress, and she kept tugging down the ends of the sleeves as if she was hiding something beneath it.

"Salamat sa pagpunta."

Tahimik na tumango si Syl saka maingat na umupo sa kaharap na upuan ni Ream.

"Do you want order?" Ream asked. "May gusto ka bang kainin?"

Umiling si Syl saka huminga nang malalim na parang pinapakalma ang sarili. From where Ream was sitting, she looked really scared and anxious.

"Syl, are you okay?"

Syl automatically nodded her head. It was a habit. Palaging tango ang sagot niya sa mga tanong sa kaniya ng mga magulang kaya nakasanayan na niya. "I'm okay."

"You don't seem okay."

"I am," may diing sabi ni Syl. "Now, tell me what you want to talk about. I'm busy."

"You're not even going to look at me?" Ream asked, curious as to why Syl hadn't looked at him since she arrived.

"Do I need to?"

"If you want to."

Syl's eyes remained on the table. "I don't want to."

Ream didn't force Syl after that. "Okay. I won't force you. No need to look at me if you don't want to."

Syl clenched her fists that were under the table hearing Ream words—one of the reasons why she came here in the first place other than to end whatever this was. She didn't want to admit it, but she was drawn by his attitude towards her, how he treated her in Bali, and when they met again, how he always respected her decision even if it was full of rejection.

He always had that smile—that nice smile that she was drawn to.

Am I drawn to him because there's no nice people in my life? Because I crave it? Syl honestly didn't know why she wanted Ream. Maybe it was the company she wanted because Ream was different from the people around her? Or maybe it was his kindness and the respect he had shown her that got her interested?

Syl didn't know. All she knew was that Ream was like a breath of fresh air for her. And she needed that air not to be contaminated by her and her toxic family. She wanted Ream as far away from her as possible. She will not drag someone to hell just because she was there.

"You told me over the phone that your mom doesn't hurt you anymore." Ream looked at Syl. She was wearing a long-sleeved turtleneck in this hot weather. It only meant one thing. Her mother didn't stop at all. "Is that true?"

Syl didn't answer.

"You don't have to answer me if you don't want to, but I just want to know, Syl. How long has this been going on?"

Syl froze because she knew exactly how long it had been.

Ream took a deep breath. He wanted to know so bad, but then he remembered Khairro's advice about what to do to be a comfort to an abused victim.

"I know I can't force you to do anything." Ream was careful with his words. He didn't want to sound insensitive. "And I know you don't know anything about me for you to open up to me. I understand that you don't trust me. But I just want to tell you that if you need to get away or to breathe or you want to do something and you want company, you can call me anytime. I—"

"Why?" Syl asked. She always wondered why Ream was so willing to lend a hand when even her relatives who knew what was going on didn't. "And don't give me that 'I like you' crap. I don't...believe that." Syl felt free answering Ream, telling him what was on her mind because she knew he'd respect it even if it was not what he wanted to hear from her. "I mean, I want to believe it, but we don't exactly have a relationship other than what happened that time in Bali." Syl finally looked at Ream. "I don't think my pussy is that great for you to have feelings for me after that night."

Napatanga si Ream kay Syl kapagkuwan ay mahinang itong tumawa. "That's it...that's the Syl that got my attention in Bali." Ream's smile was wide and radiant, but it slowly dissipated when he spoke again. "Though my 'I like you' is not crap, Syl. I do like you, and you told me back in my store that you like me too."

Ream looked so genuine, the emotions on his handsome face not guarded and very open to read. But he's better off without her, really.

"You were my first choice, Ream." Syl spoke the words she rehearsed. Half-truth and half-lie to make it believable. "The first decision I ever made for myself, so of course, I like you. That's normal. What's not to like about you? Nice, respectful and kind...you're a good catch. That's why I don't want to drag you into my mess. That's why I've been avoiding you. But you keep saying that you like me and you keep offering help. In truth, I'm happy. Flattered even, that someone like you likes me. And then, it got me thinking—why would you like me?"

"I'm attracted to you."

Syl's face hardened. "That's just the face, Ream. I may look beautiful outside, but I'm a broken mess inside. And if you dig deeper and know me, you'll see how horrible of a person I am. Like what I have for you...it'll vanish in time because it's just infatuation. You liking me is just a phase. Maybe you just pity me after seeing my situation and mistook it for liking me."

All the emotions on Ream's face disappeared. "Either what I feel for you is pity or like, it shouldn't matter. As I told you, you don't have to reciprocate whatever I'm feeling for you. If you think it's pity, I don't give a rat's ass. What I give a damn about is your situation at home. You're not in a good place, Syl, and it's time for you to pack up and leave."

Syl was holding on to her brave façade. I have to end this—whatever this is. "Ream, I appreciate your worry and pity, but I don't need it. My whole life, I survived without anyone's help, and I'll be okay for the next few years. Who knows, maybe I won't live that long."

Ream took a deep breath while watching Syl as she tried her best to push him away. Maybe there was truth in Syl's words, like why she liked him, but that was it.

"Are you done?"

Syl stilled and nodded. "Yes. I'm leaving—"

"Before you do that, may I hold your hand?"

Syl didn't know what Ream was planning, but if holding her hand meant getting away from Ream as fast as she could, she pulled her hand from under the table and rested it on the table.

Hinihintay ni Syl kung anong gagawin ni Ream sa kamay niya. Balak niya itong hayaan kung ano man ang plano nito, pero nang hawakan nito ang kamay niya at itinaas ang laylayan ng long-sleeve niya para makita ang mga pasa na tinatago niya, kaagad na inagaw ni Syl ang kamay kay Ream.

Ream took a deep breath and he looked at Syl who couldn't look at him. "You may be surviving, but you're not living. Is that what you really want? To be battered and bruised until there's no space in your body?"

Syl glared at Ream and hissed, "You think I have a choice?!"

"You do!" Ream hissed back. "Me."

Umiling si Syl. "No."

"Syl—"

"I said no, Ream. It's a no."

Ream leaned on his chair and blew out a loud breath. "Why are you pushing me away? You said I was your first choice, so why push me away?"

"That's exactly why." Syl stood up. "I want my first choice to be happy and not betrayed and in pain because of me. I'm already used to this life, Ream. And I am not dragging you to that hell just because I'm there."

Ream knew that if Syl left it was over. There was no third time's a charm. "If you don't believe in my 'I like you'...I understand. If you don't want to accept my help, I won't force you. But please, if you think you've had enough, if you think that you're in mortal danger, if you think that you want to escape...think of me. You have my number. Call me. I understand why you don't want to share your hell with me, but please bear in mind that I am more than willing to share my heaven with you."

A tear that Syl couldn't control fell from her eyes.

"Just call and I will answer." Ream said the words clearly. "Not as someone who likes you, or pities you, but just as a human being willing to care for another."

Another tear fell from Syl's eyes before she left. And Ream, who was left behind, took a deep breath as he watched Syl disappear from his sight.

Is accepting and asking for help...really that hard? 

CECELIB | C.C.