CHAPTER 4

"SAAN KA pupunta?" tanong ni Khairro sabay pigil kay Ream na akmang lalabas ng sasakyan nang iparada iyon ni Khairro di-kalayuan sa bahay na pinasukan ng Mercedes-Benz na sinundan ng dalawa. "You realize you're in handcuffs, right? And you'll be trespassing?"

Ream sighed and faced Khairro. "I just saw the woman I'm into being abused and you want me to sit here? You should be arresting that middle-aged woman who slapped her!" Hindi mapigilan ni Ream ang galit na nararamdaman niya. "I saw it, Sanford. I can testify!"

Nawala ang atensiyon ni Ream kay Khairro na umiiling nang makitang bumukas ang gate ng bahay kung saan pumasok ang Mercedes-Benz na sinusundan nila, at lumabas doon si Syl.

And seeing Syl caressing her face made Ream snap.

He didn't care if he was in handcuffs. Ang gusto lang niya sa pagkakataong 'yon ay matulungan si Syl. Pero nang makita siya ni Syl, awtomatiko itong humakbang paatras na para bang natatakot ito sa kaniya.

"Syl." Ream's anger doubled when he saw her swollen face. "Your face..."

Syl consciously turned her face to hide it from Ream and calmly spoke to Ream like she was okay. "What are you doing here?"

"I followed you." Ream didn't care if Syl was wary of him, he stepped closer to inspect her swollen face. "I swear, I had no plans to follow you around and harass you, I'm not like that. But I saw what that woman did to you in the parking lot." After cupping Syl's face softly, Ream turned his attention to her bruised hands. "I saw her..."

When Ream looked up to look at Syl, she looked so pale, as if scared, and she pulled her hands away from Ream.

"Naipit lang ang kamay ko sa pintuan kaya nagkapasa ako. This is nothing. You shouldn't have come here." Syl was embarrassed that Ream saw that part of her life, but what was done was done and all she knew was to lie. "Please go, Ream. I'm fine."

"How could you be fine, Syl?" Ream snapped at Syl. "You're being abused! I know you just met me and I'm practically a stranger, but I can help you—"

"No need to help me. I'm fine. This bruise is my doing," kalmado pa ring sagot ni Syl. "This is nothing. You should leave."

"It's not nothing—"

"Syl? Who are you talking to?" a soft woman's voice asked from behind the closed gate.

"Just a homeless person, Ma," pagsisinungaling ni Syl saka para itong nagpa-panic na tinulak palayo si Ream at pabulong na nakiusap. "Please, leave. Please..." pagmamakaawa nito. "Please, Ream..."

Seeing Syl so desperate and panicking while begging, Ream stepped back, but not before putting his calling card on Syl's palm. "If you need anything—anything at all, call me. Anytime. Anywhere. I'll be there."

Hearing footsteps from behind the gate, Ream backed away and ran back to his car, while Syl faced her mother who opened the gate to check on Syl.

"Syl, ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa 'yo na huwag kang makikipag-usap sa mga pulubi?"

"Sorry, Ma." Nagbaba ng tingin si Syl. "Ma, puwede bang dito na muna ako matulog? Gabi na kasi at delikado sa daan."

"Of course, sweetheart." Her mother smiled fondly. "Ikaw lang naman itong gustong-gusto na sa bahay n'yo matulog."

Syl showed her mother a grateful smile before she went back inside. But before that, she slid Ream's calling card in her pocket instead of throwing it away. She didn't know why she wanted to hang onto it...maybe it was his earnest promise that he could help.

Once again, she was starting to hope.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" tanong ni Khairro kay Ream nang makabalik ito sa sasakyan. Nakita ni Khairro ang nangyari sa labas ng gate, pero nagtanong pa rin siya para mas malinawan sa nasaksihan.

"She said she's fine." Ream looked lost and bothered while blankly looking at the air. "But she's not, Sanford. She's not fine! Her face is swollen, and her hands are bruised, she was hell-bent on making me believe that it was her doing!"

Khairro kept his mouth shut and just let Ream let out his anger and frustration.

"I offered help, but she didn't want it. Why?" Ream couldn't grasp why Syl pushed him away. "I can help..."

"Some abused victims are so used to being abused that they think it's normal when it's not." Khairro finally gave it straight to Ream that made Ream snap his eyes to Sanford. "It's the ugly truth, bud. Especially here in our country. Abuse victims tend to keep the pain and suffering to themselves because they believe that no one can and will help them. And sometimes, it's not about that at all, it's more about their fear—fear that if they tried to get help, they'll be hurt even more.

"Most people always think that 'it's a family matter, I shouldn't intervene' so some neighbors and other people usually just let the abuse happen without doing anything, even if they were witnessing it with their own eyes. But abuse is not just a family matter. It's a crime."

"What can I do then? You can't exactly arrest them now since Syl was adamant on making me believe that she's fine and that her bruises were her own doing. I'm sure that's what she'll tell you too if you barged in there."

Hindi ito ang unang beses para kay Khairro na makatagpo ng biktima na pino-protektahan ang mga umaabuso rito lalo na kapag pamilya ang mga ito.

"Oliveros, in my line of work, I've seen the bad and the worst, and trust me, these victims of abuse—with what they're going through, what they need is someone to rely on, someone they could depend on, someone they could talk to, someone they could trust, someone who understands them, someone who will be there for them and not abandon them when they need them the most, someone who could educate them that what they're going through is not normal nor right and it's not their fault, and also someone that could encourage them to be brave to face their fears. It's not enough just to be nice, but it's a good start. It's a long process of healing, my friend. It's not that easy."

Ream became speechless.

"And seeing the woman push you away like she was scared..." Khairro sighed. He didn't want to say it, but if Ream was serious about that woman, he should know. "I think this has been going on for a while now. I can't tell how long, but enough to instill fear in her heart."

Ream felt depleted and defeated. "She was scared..." he muttered as he remembered Syl's face while begging him to leave. "I felt her fear..." Ream turned to Khairro. "Wala ba talaga akong magagawa para sa kaniya? I don't care if she doesn't like me back, it doesn't matter, I just want her safe and happy. That's all I want."

"Even I can't do anything and I'm a police officer." Khairro sighed. "For us to be able to help her, she needs to want our help."

Ream became silent before he sighed and spoke. "I gave her my number...do you think she'll call?"

Khairro shrugged. "Pray that she will."

"Yeah. I'll do that." Ream took a deep breath. "Drive me to the nearest church. I'll pray there."

Mahinang natawa si Khairro pero pinausad pa rin nito ang sasakyan at pinagmaneho si Ream patungo sa pinakamalapit na simbahan.

GOD DIDN'T ANSWER Ream's prayer. Syl didn't text nor call. He also stopped meeting her coincidentally. He passed by her house a couple of times, hoping that he'd see Syl outside, but no luck. His worries remained, but he couldn't do anything about it. Syl didn't like him. She made it clear, so to have this unrequited affection...he didn't know what to do with it.

Ilang beses na niyang naisip na tawagan si Shun para ipahanap si Syl, pero palagi niyang napipigilan ang sarili dahil wala namang magbabago kung mahahanap nito si Syl, at nasisiguro niyang mahahanap nito ang dalaga.

Ayaw sa kaniya ni Syl at ayaw niyang ipilit ang sarili rito. Should I move on? But how does someone move on from these feelings? This was his first time feeling like this towards a woman. He had no idea how to move on.

Ream knew he needed help, so he called the first name from his 'who-to-call' list.

Dark Montero.

"I'm with my wife so this better be important." Iyon kaagad ang lumabas sa bibig ni Dark nang sagutin ang tawag ni Ream.

"Sorry to bother you." Ream sighed. "I can call later."

Kaagad na naramdaman ni Dark na nasa hindi maayos na kalagayan si Ream nang marinig ang boses nito. "You okay, bud?"

"...I don't know."

Dark frowned. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"What...?"

"Hurt," ulit ni Dark saka hinalikan nito sa noo ang asawang si Anniza bago lumabas ng kusina para kausapin nang maayos si Ream. "You know, hurt like physically or mentally?"

"No, not really." Ream, on the other line, touched his chest where his heart was. "...But, I'm not doing well emotionally, Montero."

"What happened?" mabilis na tanong ni Dark. "Is this because of Syl?"

Ream stilled and frowned. "How did you—"

"I read the chat, Oliveros." Dark explained. "Nakalimutan mo na bang mga tsismoso ang mga kaibigan natin?"

"Oh."

"Yep. Sanford said that this Syl doesn't like you and you are sulking."

"'Yon lang ang sinabi niya?"

"Yep. Is there more?"

"No." Ream silently thanked Sanford for not telling their friends about Syl being abused. "I just...I called because I want to ask something."

"Sure. Fire away."

"How do you move on?"

Natigilan si Dark sa tanong ni Ream kapagkuwan ay nagsalubong ang kilay nito. "Move on? Like, you want to let go and forget about her?"

"Yeah."

"Why? I mean, you're not going to woo her, at least?"

Humilig si Ream sa likod ng upuan niya habang nakatingin sa hindi matapos-tapos na singsing na ini-sketch niya. "Montero, if you persistently woo a woman who likes you, it's called romantic. But if you persistently woo a woman who doesn't like you, it's called stalking, and, in my case...it's going to be stalking. My presence makes Syl uncomfortable, I could see that, so yeah, I have to move on from these feelings. But I don't know how so, help I need your help."

Napangiwi si Dark sa hinihinging tulong ng kaibigan. "Oliveros, you do know that I had feelings for my wife before she formally met me, right?"

"Yeah. So?"

"It means I don't know how to move on, and I can't help you."

Ream blew out a loud breath. "Do you know someone who can?"

"Definitely not one of those lunatics," said Dark, then he clicked his tongue. "Maybe Google can help you."

Ream grimaced and spoke with sarcasm. "Geez, thanks, Montero. Such a big help."

Dark chuckled before he became serious. "I think everyone has their own way of moving on, bud. You just have to find yours."

"And if I can't?"

"You'll go crazy."

Ream sighed heavily and cancelled the call after bidding goodbye. Dark was right, though. Wala akong aasahan sa mga kaibigan ko. Kung tsismis siguro, may aasahan pa siya.

So, Ream turned to Dark's second suggestion.

Google.

'Hot to move on from someone you like?' was the question he typed. And seeing the results, he could only groan because every article had something to do with moving on from an ex. But Syl is not my ex.

So, he changed the question to 'how to get over someone you never dated?' Ream wanted to smack himself at how humorous this situation was.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the first article, and the first advice was to stop flirting. And that made Ream frown. Stop flirting? Really? I haven't even done that. Ream dragged his eyes to the second advice. Stop fantasizing. Ream combed his hair with his fingers. Does remembering what happened in Bali count? Oh, fuck!

Third advice. Stop reading the texts. Ream blinked blankly at the article. "She never texted me. Not even once, you son of a bitch!" Angrily, he closed his laptop and went to the mini bar to pour himself a drink.

Yep. That's what I need. A fucking drink.

Why was this happening to him, anyway? He tried his best to be a good man. He never cheated anyone. He always tried his best to be honest as he possibly can. So why was this happening?

Blowing out a loud breath, instead of pouring himself a drink, he drank straight from the bottle. Bottoms up. And then, he grabbed another bottle of liquor and finished it too. Alone.

Ream lost count of how many bottles of liquor he consumed, but he didn't lose count of how much he vomited when morning came. It was horrible. He was in a horrible state. But that was not the most horrible part—it came after the vomiting.

His friends, the gossipers, arrived at his front door with food and medicine to cure his hangover.

It was a nice gesture and all, but when they reached his kitchen, the gossiper motherfuckers, started, well, um, gossiping.

"Damn, man. You were so out of it last night."

Napatigil si Ream sa paghigop ng sabaw nang marinig ang sinabi ni Calyx.

"Yep." Thorn laughed. "I had a good laugh."

Lysander was laughing too. "Damn, Oliveros. You are in deep trouble, man."

"You should have accepted my offer," Shun chimed in.

"You said it's illegal, but in your situation, kidnapping is the only option, my man," Lath added.

And Iuhence nodded. "I'm not saying it's not bad, but if you're desperate..."

Ream was confused and he frowned at everyone in the kitchen. "What are you all talking about?"

Controlling his laughter, Calyx handed his phone at Ream as he explained, "You drunk-video-called our group chat last night and I was awake, so I answered, and this is what you said. I'm sorry, bud. If it were you, you would've recorded it too."

Ream had a bad feeling about the 'video', but he still played it and it was the most embarrassing thing he ever did in his whole life!

'Answer me, you bastards!' the drunk Ream in the video shouted and glared. 'Why doesn't she like me, huh? I'm nice and handsome and rich and I can give her anything she wants, so why doesn't she like me?! Answer me!' Calyx and Yilmaz were in the call, but they didn't answer. The two were busy laughing their asses of. 'I told her I like her, but she didn't even say anything, like I don't exist.' The drunk Ream changed from angry to pitiful in a second. 'Is there...something wrong with me that she finds unattractive? But we had a good time in Bali. Guys, I want to move on, but I don't know how. What is this feeling? I don't want this! But I want her. I really, really want her.' The drunk Ream paused and looked down. 'Why can't I have her?'

The video finally and thankfully ended, leaving the now sober and beet red Ream distressed and mortified beyond belief.

"Holy fuck..." Ream muttered under his breath as he let Calyx's phone drop on the floor. It crashed and broke, but Ream didn't care. He just wanted to hide himself because he knew these motherfucking lunatics would not let him hear the end of it.

And just thinking about it—he was already beyond horrified.

CECELIB | C.C.