I had decided I wouldn't tell my parents until my first trimester is over or I started showing—whichever came first. Cory wasn't happy about my decision but I was sure of what I was doing. My parents weren't the type to support a teenage pregnancy, but they eventually did for me anyway. They believed that my miscarriage was a blessing and now I could focus on my future; telling them that I'm eating for two once more would give them a heart attack. I knew I was upsetting Cory by hiding this and I hated hurting him or limiting his joy, but my parents' well-being was important too. What's worse is I knew if I told them now while abortion is still a safe and feasible option, I'd somehow let them convince me to get rid of it. Last time I was naive and believed all would be fine. Now I know the dangers of pregnancy and childbirth and I know the emotional toll it will have on me if something goes wrong. Besides, what if I have a miscarriage within the first trimester? What's the point in telling my parents if the baby may not be there anyway... I was definitely making the right decision.

***

"So, what's new with you both?" my mum asked when we showed up for Sunday dinner.

"Well, actually—" Cory started but I cut him off.

"Oh, nothing. Just the same stuff as usual. We're looking forward to going back for the next semester," I said.

"What classes are you both taking?"

With a sigh, Cory dropped his plan to tell them and engaged in casual chit chat. The night went by smoothly without a problem. We ate dinner, watched a movie, then the night ended and Cory and I went home.

"This feels wrong," Cory said on the way home.

"I know. But please. Let me tell them in my own time. I still can't believe there's another baby in my stomach."

He reached out and grabbed my hand. "I'll wait. But they'll catch on soon, Lily. Don't let them find out before you tell them."
"They won't find out."

"If you eat so much at dinner, I'm sure they'll start noticing the signs."

"I ate a lot?"

He nodded.

"I better watch that... speaking of food, can we do a Maccas run?"

"This pregnancy is going to harm our bank account," but he turned off at the next exit and headed towards our nearest McDonald's.

***

"So have you already been to see your doctor?" Casey asked.

I nodded in response.

"Then you're definitely pregnant?"

"Definitely."

"What happens now? Like, I never really asked last time because we were kids but I'm intrigued now... perhaps my maternal instincts are kicking in."

"Well, I have to have regular appointments with a medical professional. I will be visiting my midwife regularly rather than my doctor."

"When is your first appointment?"

"It can be between 10 and 16 weeks of pregnancy, but I'm going at 10 weeks given the last time... I just want to be extra safe and know that my baby is healthy."

"Can I come?"
"If you really want to... you're quite into it this time, aren't you Case?"

"I don't know... the concept of childbirth is just so intriguing to me these days."

"Perhaps you should change majors at uni then?"
"Perhaps..."

"Well my appointment is in two weeks. I'll text you closer to for the time."

"Great! I'm excited."

***

Surely enough, the next two weeks flew by. We stopped by Casey's house on the way to the clinic and she eagerly jumped in the car. "Baby day! Will we get to see it?"

"Hopefully. Usually they check at your first visit if you're far enough along."

When we arrived, we sat in the waiting room an hour past my appointment, waiting for the midwife to be free. Apparently a morning appointment had complications and messed up her entire schedule. Eventually we were all called in.

"This is a good sized group. So which of you is Lily?" she said as we walked into her room.

"That is me," I said.

"And what is both of your relation to Lily?" she asked Casey and Cory.

"I'm the father," Cory said.

"And I'm the godmother," Casey chipped in.

"Now that hasn't been decided," I said.

She shrugged. "Deal with it. It's happening."

I shook my head and laughed.

"Well, all of you take a seat. My name is Julie and I will be your midwife. Before we begin tests, I'd like to ask a couple of questions."

"Ask away."

"When was your last period?"

"About two, two and a half months ago?"

"Do you know the exact date?"

I shook my head. "No, unfortunately. I'm on the pill so I don't really take track of the dates. I could probably find that out for the next appointment if I look at my packet?"

"That's okay. We have a machine that can tell this. Is this your first child?"

I looked at my lap. "Hopefully. I had a miscarriage last time."

"Oh. I see. How many weeks along were you?"

"30 weeks."

"You were nearly there."

I nodded.

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking? As in, did the doctor diagnose the cause of the miscarriage?"

"There was a bit of a problem with a school peer. He got very angry and pushed me over and I fell on my stomach and because of the baby's position, it was hit right on the head and died."

"I'm very sorry to hear that. You're 19 now, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Would you say you're in such a situation where you may come across people who can do this?"

"No. I'm at university so I spend my days sitting in classes."

"Do you have a job?"

"I work at a small clothing store."

"Okay. Well we will do our best to monitor this baby and make sure they come our safely, okay?"

I nodded and smiled. "Sounds good."

"As you did have troubles last time, I will want you to come in a bit more regularly than normal just to make sure all is fine. If progress is coming along well in your next three visits, then we will space your appointments as a normal healthy patient. I just want to make sure there are no complications."

"Okay, not a problem."

"Do you have any major health concerns I should know about, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, and so on?"

"I believe my blood pressure was always a little above average due to the contraceptive pill, but I'm obviously off that now."

"Let's measure that then." She wrapped the band around my arm and we waited for my reading. "All seems to be normal, so we don't have to worry about that for now. Are you on any medications?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

"Have there been any complications in your family history in childbirth or child abnormalities?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"What's your current diet?"

"I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables."

"Are you a vegetarian?"

"No, but I do limit my meat intake."

"Okay. We will just proceed with a few tests. I'll start by listening to your heart and lungs and then we will get more invasive."

After all was deemed healthy in that area, she took a sample of my blood. I was not to do my urine test until after my ultrasound to ensure they could tell how far along I am.

"I'll need you to get onto the bed now so that we can do a Pap smear, breast check, and then an ultra sound. Dad and friend, if you could just wait on that side while I do the first two."

I climbed onto the bed and Julie pulled the curtain. When the uncomfortable tests were over, she pulled the curtain back and invited Casey and Cory closer. She turned on the machine and poured some gel onto my stomach.

She moved the scanner over my stomach. "Well, Lily, it appears you are 11-12 weeks along. I'll get you to come back in two weeks and we will conduct a screening test for diseases and look at the baby's shape and such." She slowly move the scanner across my abdomen. "I'll just turn the volume up on the machine and we should be able to hear the heart beat." A faint racing rhythm filled the room. I looked at Cory's face and saw him looking at the screen in awe. I turned to look at Casey and her jaw had fallen slack.

"Wait a second..." Julie said.

My head flicked back to the monitor.

She moved the scanner quickly over my stomach, checking here and there. Then she turned the machine off and got up. "I'll be back in a moment. I just want to get another colleague to confirm something." Then Julie disappeared out of the room.

My breathing got heavy. "Something's wrong," I said.

Cory grabbed my hand. "Don't worry, Lily. I'm sure all is fine. Maybe... maybe her machine is faulty or something. If something was wrong surely she'd know. That's why she wants someone to double check. Right, Casey?"

Casey nodded. "For sure."

About 15 minutes later, Julie returned with another person, put more gel on my stomach, and moved the scanner over. They both looked at the screen closely.

"Yes. You're definitely correct," the other person said and left the room.

"What's going on?" Cory asked.