Casey and I had a lunch date today. We were also going clothes shopping to get me some maternity clothes as none of my pants were fitting me now. It was much earlier than last time that I was starting to show, but given I was carrying two instead of one, I wasn't exactly surprised.

When I had found her inside the shopping centre, her jaw dropped as her eyes raked over me.

"You definitely need maternity clothes," she said pretty loudly.

I frowned at her. "Must you say it so loudly?"

"Um... yeah? No point hiding it anymore, Lily. They are certainly there and on their way, cooking in your little oven."

"Oh gosh. Don't call it that," I groaned.

"You don't seem too keen about this pregnancy," she mumbled as we began walking.

"I am. I'm just tired. I have all my studies. Then there's work. And growing humans takes a lot out of me. Then there's all these extra appointments I now have to fit into my schedule..."

"Maybe you should take your leave from studies earlier?"

I shook my head. "I'm going to need the year off closer to when the babies come."

She pursed her lips and glanced at me.

"What?"

"There's something else, isn't there?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're keeping something from me. Something to do with your studies."

I narrowed my eyes at her, feeling a slight warmth to my face as I said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You really want to keep going to classes despite that you have absolutely no time, energy, or care to do so. Why?"

"I..." I tried my best to find an excuse, but I had nothing. I sighed. "I made a new friend. They don't even know I'm pregnant and they don't know anything about me being pregnant before or Jake or Cory... and it's like I'm finally just Lily again. I like it. I don't want to lose me to this pregnancy. I'm always someone's something. Cory's girlfriend. The baby's mother. A pregnant lady."

She gave me a small, sad smile, then said, "Well... I get that. But even this friend is going to know you're pregnant very soon. That bump is only going to get bigger."

"I know..."

"You have two weeks tops, Lily. You may as well just defer for now."

"I'm not dropping out of this semester!" I snapped, walking ahead of her.

Casey stopped in her tracks, letting me walk along ahead for a while, but eventually she caught up. "You don't need to be rude to me," she said bitterly. "I'm only trying to help."

"I know... I know." I gave her an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry."

"If you're really sorry..."

"What?" My eyes narrowed at her.

"Then you will let me buy the babies an outfit today?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. I'll succumb to the fact I need new clothes but no baby stuff. Not yet."

"You're in your second trimester, Lils."

"And I was in my second trimester last time."

"Lily... you didn't miscarry because of any problem with your body. That was all Jake--"

"Don't talk about it like you know how I felt!" I almost yelled, causing some passers-by to glance our way.

"You're in such a damn mood today, aren't you?" she hissed back at me, crossing her arms over her chest.

We spent the next hour browsing at clothes in silence. In the end, we didn't end up having lunch together.

With my new maternity dress on, which thankfully hid my growing stomach a little, I grabbed my bag and headed off to uni. I sat down in my usual seat up the back, pulling out my laptop as I waited for the lecture to start. And then he walked in.

Glancing the room, his eyes finally landed on me, a smile slipping onto his face. And ashamedly, my heart skipped a beat. He took the stairs two at a time until he was walking down my row, pulling up a seat next to me.

"Hey Lily," he said grinning.

"Afternoon, Tyler."

"Have a nice day?"

I nodded.

"Busy studying?"

"No. Just hung out with a friend."

"Oh yeah? Get up to much?"

"Just shopping."

He nodded.

"What about you?"

He ran a hand over his head. "I've been flat out with studies. I'm taking this really intense lab work class." He shook his head. "It's rough and the lecturer makes absolutely no sense."

"Is that the one with Professor Lee?"

"Yeah that's him. Short man, bald head?"

"Yeah. I thought it was a first year subject?"

"I'm technically still in my first year. I just transferred remember? Somehow I managed to get into this class though because my first degree had a similar core subject. Anyway, I took a gap break for half a year to sort my life out once I finished school."

I nodded slowly. I should ask him about what that's like... "Well I've done that class. I could help you?"

He grinned at me, his pearlescent grin, making my heart unfortunately melt a little. "I'd love that. You have time after this class?"

"Yeah, sure." But thankfully the lecturer walked into the room, starting the class before I could read more into my physical reaction.

Tyler and I found a spare seating area at the back of the library, setting up our laptops. However, instead of sitting opposite me, he pulled up a spot on the two seater couch next to me.

He opened his lecture notes and readings and began pointing at them. He was close enough that I could make out his smell--a swirling mixture of body wash with musk and cedar. I couldn't help myself take in a deep breath of his smell. But the moment I did, I immediately pulled my byself back to my senses, focussing on the task at hand: helping him study.

After an hour of that, we finally closed our laptops and put them away. I was about to get up to go when he said, "Can you hang for a bit longer? I'd love to just chat."

"Um..."

"Unless you have to go?"

I hesitantly sat back down on the seat. "No... I can stay a while longer."

He grinned. "That's a nice dress by the way," he commented, eyes looking over me.

I fidgeted with the dress around my stomach, wondering if he noticed. "Thanks. It's new."

"It really makes your eyes pop." He was a little closer now, staring at me intently.

"So... What did you do in that half a year you had off?"

He grinned. "Travelled, of course."

"Yeah? Where did you go?"

"A little bit of everywhere. Did the usual and worked my way backpacking around Europe before heading over to the US and Canada. Then I headed over to Asia and did China, South Korea, Japan, Thailand, Malaysia, and Indonesia. I obviously have heaps more places I'll need to go some day, but I'm young. There's still time. I ran out of time and money at the end of my trip which is why I came back.

I nodded slowly, caught up on his one comment.

"Have you travelled anywhere?"

I gave him a small smile and shook my head. "I... haven't been in a position to."

He smiled warmly. "There's still time. You're young too. My advice is to save some money while you study so that once it is over you can just take off. Travel the world before you start work. Once you get into work, you get so caught up in the rituals of life, next thing you know you're in that job for life, married, and then having children." He shook his head.

"Yeah... that would suck," I mumbled, any happiness I had from our talks disappearing. What am I doing here? His freedom and happiness was only going to bring me down. This whole thing is fake... "I think I need to go now," I said suddenly.

"Already?"

"Yeah. I have a thing."

He nodded. "Hey, before you go... are you on Facebook?"

My eyes went wide, thinking about my timeline... Cory and I had just posted our news for our friends. We had endless photos together. Photos of high school when I was pregnant before... my whole life out in the open for him to see and judge. "No. I don't really use that..."

"Well can I get your number? Would be good to stick together when we have study questions."

I gave him a small smile. "Sure. Give me your phone."

And so we traded phones, adding ourselves to each other's contacts before heading off back to our own lives.

"How was your day?" Cory called out from the kitchen when I walked in.

"Yeah. Fine."

"Casey good?"

"Yeah she's good."

Cory walked out, hands covered in soap suds. He had been washing the dishes. "What's wrong?"

I gave him a small smile. "Nothing. Just tried. I'm going to have a shower?"

He nodded and grinned at me. "Don't take too long. I have dinner in the oven and it's not far away from being done."

I shuffled through the house and into the bedroom, putting my bag down on the dresser and pulling my phone out. A text was waiting for me.

Tyler: Thanks for today, Lily. You were a big help.

I glanced over my shoulder, towards the kitchen. I could still hear the clanging of the dishes. I knew there was nothing to feel guilty of... Nothing had happened between me and Tyler. We were just friends. But for some reason, I didn't want to tell Cory about him. I wanted my own friend and a snippet of my own life that I didn't have to share with anyone.

Me: No worries. Anytime.

Tyler: Careful! I may take you up on that.

Tyler: Enjoy your evening, Lily.

Me: You too.

And then I did another bad thing. I deleted the message thread before slipping my phone back into my bag and heading off for a shower.