"Thanks Billie,"

"And remember- let-"

"-Let her know I'm not angry with what ever she picks- even if I am. I know I know," I laughed slightly.

He rolled his eyes playfully. "Just saying,"

"Well- wish me luck,"

"Good luck Birdie," He told me, before he leant over and flicked my nose.

I twitched slightly, before laughing it off as I opened the car door to the coldness outside.

I got out and waved goodbye before walking back up to my house, opening the door I took one last look at Billie who was still sat outside my house before I closed it.

He always waited until I got inside to drive away.

"Is that you Blaze?" I heard my mom shout from up the stairs.

"Just me,"

I walked into the living room, placing myself on the sofa and watching what ever shit was already on television.

Obviously no one was watching it before, so it was some random program that I couldn't tell what was happening.

I tried to get the grips of the show, before the living room door opened and my mom walked in. She gave me an awkward smile, the kind of smile that wasn't real but was only testing if I would give her one back. It was so she could see if I was still angry, which I wasn't, so I smiled back before looking over at the screen of the telly.

"What you watching?" She asked, sitting on the other end of the sofa.

"I'm not sure- but I think she's in trouble," I told her, pointing to a blonde character who was currently on screen.

"Why's that?"

"I'm not quite sure- she must've done something bad because everyone else doesn't seem to like her,"

My mom nodded. "Ah, I see,"

We went quiet, the volume of the television was low making things more awkward.

The room was dark, curtains shut and lights turned off. The only light in the room was from the big screen in front of us. I wanted to move positions on the couch to a more comfortable one, but for some reason I was scared to move.

"Hey mom?"

"Yeah?" She looked away from the tv and met my eyes. There was a nervous glimmer in her eye I caught, but it didn't stay for long. Probably just a millisecond, if not that shorter.

"I'm... I'm sorry about what I said earlier on. About not wanting you here. That wasn't true- I was being cruel. I want you here, I want to stay here and I want to be here with you. But I want you to be happy with David,"

"What do you mean honey?"

"I think I'm gonna stay home. I don't think Rome is for people like me, after all I'll end up being a misery. I don't want to go somewhere that'll make me miserable, and I don't want you feeling like you have to stay somewhere that might make you feel the same. You can go to Rome if you want to go to Rome. With David. But I didn't mean what I said- and I would love you here. But I would love you equally either way,"

She took a moment. I think she was taking it in what I had said? "I wouldn't want to leave you permanently Blazey,"

"But I want you to be happy mom,"

"I am happy,"

"I know how bad you want to go there. And I know how bad you like David. And I know how much of a pain in the ass I can be and-"

"-You're a pain in the ass alright. But that doesn't matter to me,"

"I won't be mad if you want to go with David to Rome,"

"You won't?"

"No, as long as you visit me and send those little vacation letters with the photos on it I'll be fine,"

Maybe I should quickly take it back and say I will be. Because she looks like she's actually considering leaving me. For David?

I know Billie said what he said- but I think even Billie thought she would come to her motherly senses and not leave me.

Both her and I was silent, I stared at her waiting for her to say something. But it looked like she was having a mini debate in her head.

Finally, she spoke up. To say I waited with anticipation for so long she only said three words. "Thank you sweetie." And then... she left, she went straight back up stairs. Leaving me in the living room.

Leaving me miserable. To watch this shitty fucking program.

And hold up- she didn't even give me an answer.

She's actually gonna leave me, holy shit what sort of bullshit world is this.

I sat still for a second, the waves of thoughts and angry emotions came crashing through my brain as I listened to them. Becoming more pissed off... at everyone. I should've just guilt tripped her like I originally wanted to, before Billie worked his grade-A phycology bollocks into my head. I knew I should've just done the selfish thing, after so long of living on my own I deserved to be selfish. I know I did. Everyone has their moments of being selfish which, looking on their past, are deserving of their own self worthing moments.

The phone rang, the old house phone, I flinched slightly as it blared. Before my mom shouted down from the top of the stairs to me. "Will you answer that please Blazey? It might be David!"

I huffed dramatically, shoving myself off the sofa as I made my way to the phone. I violently grabbed it, holding the old thing to my ear before I spoke. "Who?" I asked, my voice completely flat and blunt.

"I'm guessing things didn't go well..."

"Billie? Why are you calling the house ph-"

"-I tried calling your personal phone, no answer. I was trying to check on you to see how it went. You sound pissed, what happened?"

"I spoke to her. I was nice like you said and told her she had a choice and no matter what I would be okay with it..." I drifted off, Billie was quiet on the other line. He must've been waiting for me to add on to it.

"And?" He urged on. "What did she say? Did she leave already to go elope with David in Rome?"

"Haha," I sarcastically laughed. "Really funny Billie,"

"Brighten up sunshine... was a joke... jeez,"

"Well. No. It didn't go well. She said thank you after I told her and walked straight out. She looked like she was actually considering it- I think she is. I knew I should've just gone with my own plan and not listened to you,"

"Hey! That was your own advice I was feeding back to you there,"

"Well it didn't work in this situation. I should've just done the self centred thing and made her stay home, you scammed me out of my selfish earning,"

"Selfish- selfish what?"

"Selfish earning?" I repeated. "Everyone's in fair claim-ment of their own selfish, self seeking, greedy and tactless moments. That was mine,"

"Blaze. You don't get a selfish moment. No one is aloud to be that way-"

"-Yes they are,"

"No, they aren't. You don't get to do a few good things and then think that makes it okay to do something insensitive. That's not how life works. If it did I wouldn't have said to Eden it was okay to be with my friend, I would've been selfish,"

"Stop talking to me like that," I snapped.

"Like what-?"

"Like I'm a baby,"

"Quit acting like a baby then, or at least less like a child,"

"I'm not acting like a child? You are!"

"Listen to yourself! You can legally live in that house on your own and have your mom and her rich boyfriend pay for everything for you, but you're acting like a baby who needs her mom. You even told her you didn't need her. So now you wanna play the 'Yeah but she leaves all the time and I never say anything,' card because that justifies stealing your own moms happiness? If you want her so bad, go with her! Don't act childishly because you want your own way-"

"-What? I'm not!"

"Now call me when you're done being arrogant, when you realise you aren't the sun and the world isn't revolving around you? You can call me back,"

"Billie! I'm-"

The line went dead. Flat. The was a void on the other side of it, he ended the call on me.

Billies never been truly angry at me like that. I'm looking back on the situation to identify where it all came from, but I still think I'm right. Out of living lonely or having your own mom back we all would choose the second.

I'm not wrong, I'm still deserving of my chance.

I can live alone, of course I can. I don't need her to survive, but I want her there. I don't wanna live some shitty lonely low life. He doesn't understand because no matter what its not his problem. He would think different if he had to choose between his own relatives happiness or his own selfish desires.

"Can I tell you something? Promise me you'll listen very closely because it's important,"

He looked a little unsure before slowly nodding. "O....Kay?"

I took in a breath, looking him straight in the eyes trying to act as serious as I ever had with Billie Joe. "I love you,"

"Wait- me?"

"Yes you,"

"What- but? Why? Why would you just tell me that? I-"

"-Do you love me back?"

"Well... I mean... yeah. I do, I actually guess I do... but-"

"-And now its time for you to pick between your own relatives happiness and your selfish desires. You say you love me back, right?"

"Tell me why she hugged you and I just might." I bargained walking closer as I stood in front of him with an even smugger grin.

"Alright then," He shrugged nonchalantly as he set his hands on my waist, smiling down on me as I felt mu body slightly press against his while I listened. "I talked with Eden. About what you was saying yesterday. I told her I wasn't anyone to stop her and Tre from being... well a thing. Since, I guess I'm not,"

Shit. He already fucking did.

And he didn't even pick the selfish one. I did.

"-And now its time for you to pick between your own relatives happiness and your selfish desires."

"I told her I wasn't anyone to stop her and Tre from being... well a thing,"

Maybe I wasn't really anyone to stop my mom from moving to Rome if that's what she wanted... cause, maybe I'm not.

Who am I kidding? I'm her daughter of course I am.

Billies bullshit is getting to me.