“𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝒶𝓇ℯ 𝓃ℴ𝓉 𝓂ℯ𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃ℯ𝓈𝓈, ℬ𝒶𝓂.”

He felt his heart hurt— as if being pierced by a thousand swarm of needles. He had always known that fact ever since he realized how left out he had been as he lived under that dark cave for countless years. Imprisoned outside civilization from who-knows-where without anyone except Rachel, whom he had always treated like a higher being.

What type of person would be condemned long before his birth?

Oh, that's right. Him. Bam, The Twenty-Fifth Night. Jue Viole Grace. Whoever he is at this point.

And yet, it hurt more when it came out from the person he considered more than just a family. From Rachel, who chose those unreachable cluster of light called stars —which might not even exist —instead of him, who had always chased after her trails.

“𝒴ℴ𝓊'𝓇ℯ 𝒶 𝓂ℴ𝓃𝓈𝓉ℯ𝓇. 𝒜 𝓅ℯ𝓇𝓈ℴ𝓃 𝓌𝒽ℴ'𝓁𝓁 ℴ𝓃𝓁𝓎 𝒸𝒶𝓊𝓈ℯ 𝒸𝒽𝒶ℴ𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒹ℯ𝓋ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓉𝒽ℯ 𝓉ℴ𝓌ℯ𝓇.”

He could feel the coldness in her tone, and see it in her eyes which did not hold the usual kindness he liked seeing, nor the happiness whenever she spoke of her dream. It seems that she really only considered him an obligation, an inconvenience which his mother had left. A nuisance, and a set-back.

“𝒮ℴ 𝓌𝒽𝓎?! 𝒲𝒽𝓎 𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓉 𝓈ℴ 𝓊𝓃𝒻𝒶𝒾𝓇?! 𝒜𝓁𝓁 𝓎ℴ𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋ℯ 𝓌𝒶𝓈 𝓂ℯ𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒻ℴ𝓇 𝓂ℯ! 𝒴ℴ𝓊 𝒹ℴ𝓃'𝓉 𝒹ℯ𝓈ℯ𝓇𝓋ℯ 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝓎𝓅ℯ ℴ𝒻 𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓅𝒾𝓃ℯ𝓈𝓈!”

He knows he doesn't, but the truth still hurts.

ー・ー

“I'm sorry...”

Khun's senses had suddenly awoken, the sound of barely audible whispers emanated throughout the room from the now open balcony. The sound had almost blended along with the light whistle of the wind, if not for his sharp hearing.

Ever since he can remember,— probably in his mother's womb, he, along with thousands of children born of the renowned and complicated Khun family, had been trained to keep a part of his consciousness alert at all times, especially during the night where one is rendered vulnerable in every single aspect.

You'll never know who might take advantage of you in times of weakness, his mother said.

Cover your ears, close your heart, and find the best path, his mother said.

And yet, in every rule there is always that one inevitable exception.

Bam, his first and best friend, who was now missing from his usual place between himself and the now-reduced-to-midget-sized crocodile. If he had not heard those cries beforehand, he would have assumed that the brunet had once again ventured off somewhere for a God-forbidden purpose. And to be honest, the thought scared him more than he could imagine. The thought that someone held them against Bam to use him for their advantage. It's just so aggravating.

Khun slowly stood up, then slowly made his way towards the balcony where the sound became more vivid.

“I'm sorry for being the monster you gave birth to, Arlene...”

His gaze softened as he reached the space behind Bam, whose head was buried within his arms and his knees tucked. His tears freely falling to the marble floor as he trembled. Khun had not seen his best friend look so vulnerable before. Even back in the days when they were still on the Floor of Tests. Bam was fragile and gullible, but he is stronger than he appears to be. He was the team's pillar, and maybe Khun's (not that he'll ever admit that).

“I'm sorry for not being good enough for you to stay, Rachel...”

Hearing the mentioned name, the bluenet's fists unconsciously clenched. He really couldn't stand the fact that Bam's becoming more and more like him, the Khun Aguero Agnes from the past. The him who tirelessly gave in to Maria's whims and pined after her, only to be set aside when he already had served his purpose. And what he couldn't accept more was that he understood their complicated relationship, and that he failed to fulfill his promise that he will never let Bam feel the helplessness he felt before.

“I'm sorry for trying to be happy...”

Well fuck.

Khun inhaled sharply, finally settling himself beside the brunet who was startled by the sudden presence. Khun lifted the latter's chin to face him, before abruptly enclosing Bam's tearstained face with his palms.

“You need to stop, Bam,” the bluenet said, his voice stern and eyes not mirroring the same mirth it used to hold whenever they would converse.

“Khun?”

“Stop apologizing.” His deep cobalt blue eyes met with Bam's golden ones, the moonlight giving it a clear highlight. “Bitches are not worth your tears.”

Silence lingered between them for a moment before Bam broke it, a light chuckle emitted from his lips. He pushed himself away from Khun's hold gently, wiping his face clean.

“That's pretty mean, Khun.” Bam managed to flash a small smile, before looking at the night sky once more.

Khun shrugged his shoulders in nonchalance as he followed Bam's gaze, tucking a few strands of his pale hair behind his ear. “But it's true though. You can't convince me to say otherwise. So stop justifying her actions.”

“I'll try.” Bam's smile faltered, a solemn expression replacing on his face. “Did I wake you up?”

“Hardly,” Khun answered rather honestly. “I'm quite sensitive to change. It's a childhood thing. You can't really get that much sleep if you had over a hundred relatives trying to kill you every chance they get.”

The brunet looked down, rather ashamed. “I'm sorr—”

“There you go again apologizing,” Khun cut him off, irritation evident on his face.

'You know only you would never be a bother to me.'

“Why not just tell me about whatever dream you were having?”

The lightbearer could clearly see Bam's reluctance, but he knew that the only way for him to be at peace was if he could let go of what is going on his mind. Bam was the honest and trusting type of person, his polar opposite. The more he trusts a certain person, the more pain he feels if he is betrayed. It sometimes is a wonder how they maintained this close relationship when they are so different from each other.

“It's nothing much really,” Bam started, a weak smile resting on his lips. “Just the usual nightmares. Arlene, a series of what-ifs, regrets, the past, Rachel.” he shruddered a bit as he said her name, then sighed.

“Say Khun, would it have been better if I hadn't chased after Rachel at all?”

“Let's see.” Khun crossed his arms and closed his eyes, pretending to be deep in thought before glancing at Bam with a lopsided grin.

“Nope!” he flicked the wave controller's forehead— to which the latter replied with a muffled 'ouch', rubbing it in comfort.

“Why would you do that?” Bam pouted.

'Dang it. Why are you being so adorab— err, vulnerable in the middle of the night?'

“No, why would you think of that?” Khun corrected. “I admit, you pining over Rachel can become really annoying. But think, if you hadn't followed her here in the tower, you wouldn't have lived to see the life outside that cave. You wouldn't have known that you had such power. You wouldn't have encountered people— friends and enemies alike.”

'And we wouldn't have met each other,' the bluenet wanted to add but never did. He knew he was always good with words, but he couldn't help but hold himself back before he might break something.

“Yeah,” Bam muttered under his breath. “And I wouldn't have met someone as amazing as Khun Aguero Agnes.”

Khun's breath hitched, his time stopping as he tried to check if he had heard it wrong. Gods, why would you do this to me now? He couldn't discern the reaction he should show.

He looked away, trying to hide his reddened face with a simper.

“Amazing, huh?”

If it were anyone else, he would have replied, “I know right. No need to say the obvious, dumbass.” in a haughty tone. But this was Bam, who without reason he decided to take with him to the top of the tower. The same Twenty-fifth Bam who could say unexpected things without a tinge of jealousy and malice.

“Ah,” Khun murmured, chuckling mostly to himself. “What am I going to do with you?”

“You don't believe me?” Bam asked, his golden orbs mirroring bewilderment. “You single-handedly formed a strategy to mess up a whole game just to summon me back. Even then, when we first met you chose to befriend me although I was so weak. You switched from one team to another and climbed floors with them despite not knowing them. If you're not amazing, then I don't know what is.”

“Gods, Bam.” the young Khun stifled his laughter. “Should I be flattered or annoyed because you are saying these things?”

This time, Bam faced him, tilting his head in confusion with an expression saying, “Did I say something wrong?”

“Don't sell yourself short, 'ya twat.” Khun knocked the brunet's forehead lightly. “You chased and tried to lend your hand to a bitch who figuratively and literally pushed you miles away *cough* Rachel. You went through being FUG's slayer candidate for six years just for us to keep our heads. You literally save anyone you can, enemies or not.”

'It's quite foolish, and a bit unrealistic. But, I'm somehow envious. I wonder how long you'd remain this way as you climb this tower.'

“Anyway, all I'm saying is that you should never be sorry for being born. The one who should regret is that sorry excuse of a woman, for letting you go.”

Bam let out an amused chuckle. “I'm somehow not disturbed by your hatred for Rachel, Khun.”

Unconsciously, before Khun could stop himself, his hand reached out to Bam's head, patting it slowly. Surprisingly, Bam didn't mind the action. Instead, he moved closer, resting his head on the bluenet's shoulder. “I wonder why Arlene brought me outside the tower. Maybe I was really born to be a monster.”

“Arlene Grace, your mom?”

Bam nodded.

“I don't have any data regarding her. It seems Jahad really hid it well. But don't forget this Bam.” Khun's eyes focused on his hand that was on Bam's head as he spoke. “Humans are all monsters using the skin as glamour. As you climb this tower of God, something inside you is bound to change.”

'However, is it really worth it to see him change into something monstrous?'

Suddenly, his hovered hand was enclosed with the brunet's smaller one, the latter's thumb now caressing his knuckles. Khun's quite surprised with the skinship, but it seems that the both of them didn't mind it.

“If I strive for my happiness and devour the tower in return, would you still be willing to venture with me?”

The blue haired lightbearer just smiled. “Although I doubt it, if anyone dares to take you away from me— us, I will tear the tower apart brick by brick until I get you back.”

'Everything you wish for is at the top of the tower. If you wish to reach it with us, if the happiness you strive for includes us, then we will catch up to you. Wherever you are, Bam.'

A genuine smile crept to Bam's lips. “I really can't manage without you, Khun. I hope we can both achieve what we wish at the top, together that is.”

Feelings are a fickle and fleeting thing. That's why Khun wouldn't put a label on whatever this is yet. He wouldn't let Bam turn into another Maria again, whom he placed onto a high pedestal and thus drifted further away.

“Yeah,” Khun replied. Without thinking he moved closer, moving locks of chestnut hair from Bam's forehead before placing a kiss. “So don't ever think about leaving us and not deserving anything, ever again.”

Bam, for him was a presence he'd rather die than be without. A person he can confide in without any boundaries limiting them.

'Why are you becoming so much like the me I have always hated? What am I trying to prove to myself by helping you reach the top? Why do I feel like the world would end if you're not around?

I've never felt so much before. I can't help but fear it and love it at the same time.'

And this feeling he's having whenever he is around, he'd like to figure this out someday. But for now,

𝒽ℯ'𝓁𝓁 𝓅ℴ𝓃𝒹ℯ𝓇.

ー・ー

14th Scribe:
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