i sit, 

i laugh, 

then the wave of pain washes over me, 

pulling me down

drowning me

i try

and try

and try

but .....

why?

i dont have tears

im dont im done IM DONE

i cant 

i settle down, 

in and out

and im pulled back into the depths.

i dont scream

i dont cry, i cant

i push it own like a trashcan 

until the bottle breaks

and im left

im left in an ocean of my own feelings

im left crying

"im sorry im sorry im sorry"

im sorry, a  word that means SO much, a word that means so little a word im repeating

my head pressed agest my labtop mouse pad, 

im done, im done, im done

im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry

then it was over, and im left with this pome, a pome someone might read, 

a pome, a story, trapped, im my mind