A/N: yeah I already posted this as it's own separate book, butttt yeah

Probably OoC

Enjoy (or don't)

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"Loveee isn't reeeaaal."

That's something Mask would always say with confidence, the keyword being would. He wasn't so confident in his saying after he saw those eyes. Those damn eyes. Mature, fierce yet gentle. Childish, laid back but can focus when necessary. Mysterious, cold, but oh so misunderstood. Of course, he just had to have three crushes, and on his fellow S+ rankers no less! And if it seemed that the world didn't already have it out for the cyan toned inkling, it seemed like it did now as the four lived together and fought as one strong team.

The poor inkling can't go a day without panicking as his teammates do cute actions without knowing it. The way the blaze plays with the fluff of his jacket when nervous. The way the party king sticks his tongue out when concentrating. The way the purple beast's eyes sparkle when a sweet is within reach. Mask is just glad his gas mask covered the massive blush he gets every time he witnesses events like these.

Life would be perfect if he could just have the three of them, they could be his, and he could be theirs. But of course, life had other plans, or so Mask had thought.

The sub-user looked in the mirror, sighing through the squid facemask he wore. His tired cyan eyes had bags under them, his pale white skin....yeesh he needed to get out more...Nah. Turning away from the mirror, Mask flopped onto his bed. He pondered in thought for a while, wondering if the other three could even like someone like him. Someone who had announced his dislike of life-loving squids and often showed his not so subtle sadistic side when crushing the opposing team with an auto bomb rush. The cynical inkling sighed and turned over on his back, choosing to look at the ceiling. Much better than suffocating himself with the blankets, in his opinion.

After some time counting the glow stars on his ceiling, a knock got his attention.

"Hyuk, gooo awaaay..."

He rolled his eyes as the intruder entered anyways.

"Maskyyy~ ♪, what ya doing?"

Mask rolled his eyes again at the "original nickname", but blushed a bit anyways. Stupid emotions. He looked to the side as Aloha decided that his bed was free to sit on.

"Yeeeahh, okay, youuu can sit on myyy bed, I gueesss..."

Aloha scoffed and winked.

"I do what I want."

Mask huffed and glared at the party king. The other looked at him and smiled. Keep cool Mask, keep your cool you don't have your gas mask to cover your entire face-

"Hey, Masky, do you like anyone?"

Mask choked on air. Quickly sitting up, the cyan inkling hit his fist against his chest. The .Gal user panicked and started apologizing.

"Holy carp dude! It's just a question, don't die on me or else Army is going to have my head! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spook ya that bad!"

When Mask recovered, he looked at Aloha and sputtered out a question (err...two) of his own.

"Whyyyy do youuu ask thaaat? And so casually as welllll?"

Aloha shrugged and flicked his front tentacle from his face.

"Just curious, now answer. Do you like anyone?"

Mask knew how to quickly defend himself from this; it was his go-to phrase. The cynical squid crossed his arms, looked Aloha dead in the eyes and,

"Love isn't real idiot."

The pink inkling's neutral expression turned into one of annoyance.

"Masky, how would you know that love isn't real if you've never given it a chance? Last time I checked, you've never had a girlfriend before."

Mask forced down another blush and bit his lip. Aloha had a point, but the cynical inkling couldn't bear the thought of rejection from one of his crushes right now. If anything Aloha probably loved Army, Army either loved Aloha back or had a crush on Forge, and Skull and Aviator might have a thing going on! Before Mask's thoughts could escalate further, Aloha asked his question again.

"Mask, do you like anyone?"

Mask shook his head and replied with the same answer.

"Love isn't real."

Aloha pouted and crossed his arms as well.

"Well, you just haven't found the right girl then. Maybe if we go to the square, we could..."

Mask stopped listening. His mind was becoming a bit fried from him containing his emotions. He dug his fingers into his arms as Aloha kept talking on and on. Mask just wanted the party animal to shut up before he blew up-

"Aloha oh my cooood, I don't want a girlfriend, and I neeeever will! I want boyfriends!"

Too late.

The party squid stared at the sub-user, who was flustered from his own outburst. That was an answer Aloha had not expected. He assumed that Mask was into girls since he was always playing those weird anime games with girls in them. Wait...did Mask say boyfriends...? As in multiple?

"Wait...boyfriends?"

The s at the end was emphasized, causing Mask's droopy eyes to widen, and cyan blush appeared all over his face. He quickly sat up and headed for the door.

"This conversation is overrrr..."

Mask didn't see the grin on Aloha's face as he left the room.

_____________

Mask grumbled as the character on the screen died from a hidden gunner he had forgotten to get rid of. He sat on the living room couch, playing a first-person shooter with a bag of chips within reach and a blanket draped over his shoulders. The interaction with Aloha from earlier was almost forgotten. Still, it was in the back of his mind, as shown by the fact his gas mask was now on in case his face decided to explode with color again. The house was fairly quiet, which confused the cyan inkling. Usually, Army would be in the kitchen trying out various new curry recipes he found on the internet, and Skull would be sitting on the love chair to the right of the couch either watching Mask play (which flustered the poor squid) or watching videos on splatube, leaving Aloha to blast music in his room. Mask shrugged off the silence and began to gain new determination as the end of the level was in sight. It was then a certain purple inkling decided to make his presence in the house known and sat down next to the masked squid. Mask inhaled quietly as he focused on the game, but then it happened.

Skull put his arm over Mask's shoulders.

What was left of Mask's soul escaped his body. The small jump Mask did made him fire his weapon prematurely, causing the AI in the area to be alerted. Cursing under his breath, Mask regained his calm demeanor and bit his lip to distract himself. Skull was looking at his phone, so Mask didn't have to worry too much about dying in front of him.

'At least it can't get any worse.'

"Mask, do you mind if I sit next to you? Usually, I would be in my room, but I've spent too much time there already."

It can get worse.

"Yeeahhh surreee..."

The drill sergeant wasn't wearing his parka, which was odd as he never really seemed to take it off, and it was kind of chilly in the living room. Not breaking concentration with the screen, Mask felt his right shoulder be exposed to the cold. Before he knew it, he and Army were sharing the blanket together.

Mask was one hundred percent calm as he played with sweaty hands. It wasn't like two of his crushes were sitting next to him with very little space between them, nope. Definitely not.

Army pulled out his manual, reviewing information from previous battles like usual to study techniques the S4 could improve and use for themselves. Mask was busy searching his brain for answers, not even bothering to play the game effectively like he usually would. Why were these two being so...physical? Skull and Army weren't really ones for physical contact, and frankly, neither was Mask. The only one in the group who actually enjoyed it was Aloha, so why were they like this right now? One thought came to mind, but he immediately brushed it away. Impossible, both of them couldn't like him back.

"Mask, your character is going to fall off the map if you don't move him."

Skull's voice broke Mask out of his thoughts, and he quickly jerked his character way from the edge.

"...thaaaanks..."

Skull gave a small grunt and continued flicking through splatstagram. Mask took a breath and focused on the game once more.

"Hey, guys ♪~."

Oh, fu-

"Didn't know ya'll were cuddling without me ♪~."

Before Mask could protest to the statement, Aloha laid himself over the three's lap with his head landing on a pillow near Skull's side and closed his eyes, relaxed. Mask's face reached its' boiling point, and his ears had started to gain a modest cyan glow. This situation was both good and bad. Good because his crushes were near him without him having to come up with some stupid excuse that could lead to questioning, and there were no more randomly appearing crushes he had to worry about. Bad because all his crushes were near him, and he was at the peak of exploding. There was an uncomfortable silence (to Mask at least), the only noises being the sound effects from Mask's game and the occasional turning of a page from Army's manual. Eventually, the close proximity of the four pushed Mask to the edge, and he paused the game.

"Okaaayy... whaaat's going onnn?? You guys are neeeever like thiiiis...."

The three looked at one another before answering in perfect sync (scary...),

"You wanted boyfriends, and here we are."

And that's the story of how Mask died of gay panic.

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A/N:
wow you made it to the end, congrats

Random head canon:
if playing turf didn't work out, Mask wanted to be an astronaut to get away from the life-loving cephalopods of the world lol, hence the glow stars I put in his room

Anyways,,,

Stay Fresh Off the Hook