A/N I'm sorry. That's all. It's been a year, and I hope you're still reading! And that you enjoy!

***

She shouldn't have come. What Beth should have done instead was fleeing the country and make sure to be as far away from the wedding as possible. Nobody would have blamed her, really. Least of all Tom's family - or Tom, for that matter. Liesa and Steph have already come up with a good story to tell everyone at the wedding, who would have been asking. Beth doesn't know the details, but they're both saying it's an epic one. Daniel and Will seem to be a bit more undecided on that, but they're definitely enthusiastic whenever it comes to making sure Beth won't be part of the wedding ceremony, or party.

So, she doesn't know whether she'll make it to Tom's wedding, yet, it's still three days to go until then. What Beth means by 'she shouldn't have come' is the garden party Tom's family is throwing today. Okay, she didn't know it would be one, when she agreed to come over. But Sarah and Emma plus their families are here, and even Diana made her way over to James's house, and Beth doesn't know why, but she didn't actually think Tom and Julia would be here. She doesn't know why, maybe it's because she not only thinks of the Hiddlestons as Tom's family but hers as well, maybe even more hers than his. Especially with her parents gone and Matt only coming every few weeks. Which is stupid, she knows.

To their credit, Emma and Sarah seem surprised as well, and James and Diana at least have the decency to look sheepishly at each other when they realise that not only Tom but also Julia just walked into their garden.

While Tom stops in his tracks, Julia doesn't seem to be bothered at all. You don't have to be a detective to figure out that there hasn't been a change in the dynamics. And while Beth hasn't heard from Tom since their talk, it is fairly clear that papers have been signed. Decision made, it is what it is.

The thing is, Tom's family doesn't seem to know, either. Nobody talked about it, at least not with Beth around. And she suspects there would be some knowing looks, nudges, and more if they knew.

And so, with loud Hellos and fake smiles, all is well in the world, just three days before the wedding, between potato salads, playing children and a happy couple in Beth's ex father-in-law's garden.

***

This is horrible. This is worse than horrible. This is a terrible nightmare Tom can't seem to wake up from. And that is even more horrifying than his worst nightmare, to be honest. Tom hasn't signed the papers. Yet. Tom hasn't talked to Julia about it. Yet. Tom hasn't informed the lawyer. Yet. He knows he should. And at the same time, Tom also knows that he's the worst scaredy-cat in history. It's going to come back and haunt him. But he's got experience in that department, nothing new for him. That's how he screwed up the most important relationship in his life. And if he makes a decision until Saturday, he'll be fine. He's an asshole now, anyway.

By the way, what kind of terrible best man is this Will guy? Dropping Tom - and the papers - off at the flat and not making sure he's actually singing them? Or at least giving him about five phone calls a day to make sure Tom's on the right track? Not that Will would know the truth. Tom didn't make a career based on his looks alone.

Speaking of acting - kind of - he's about to put on the show of a lifetime. The only two people who know about the current situation he's in are him and Beth. And the latter doesn't know all of it. Fuck, the way he's acting with Julia and his family here, Beth must actually think he's signed the papers. The way she almost leaped from her chair when he and Julia entered the garden told him all he needed to know. Hasn't he hurt her enough? What is he even doing here? Thinking about it, what is she doing here? Hasn't his family learnt anything? But no, it's not their fault. Maybe only a little bit. They're meddling, and they shouldn't be.

"Where are you?" Julia asks next to him, making Tom jump. "You're miles away."

"Sorry," he mumbles, turning his head to press a soft kiss on Julia's lips. "Just thinking."

"About?"

"Children," he says, turning his head towards the garden. It's the first thing that comes to him, really. No surprise there, given that little Violet is playing with Libby on the grass, not far away. Maybe he isn't watching only the child, maybe he's watching both of them chasing each other around the back yard, Libby slowing down subtly to give the five-year-old a chance to catch up without being too obvious about it.

His niece has warmed up to him so quickly, given that Tom's only met her this year. It feels like they've been in each other's lives since forever. Sarah's told him as much as well. He doesn't want to let Violet go away. Doesn't want is family to get away from him as easily as they've managed to before. Well, it hasn't been their fault. He got away from them, it wasn't the other way around.

"Wow." The shock is evident in Julia's voice. "In general, or-"

"Yeah. Yeah, in general." Can't tell her it's the first topic he's thought of because his ex-wife - not yet, a voice in his head reminds Tom - is playing with his niece. "The wedding is three days away. Makes you think of the future, doesn't it?" He tries with a grin, but as he looks back at Julia, she stares at him. "What?"

"I very much thought we've already thought about the future."

"Have we?"

"Yeah, and children never came up."

Tom feels uneasy now. He just wanted to make sure he wouldn't talk about Libby. And now, here they are. A talk about the future he doesn't even want to have. The talk, that is. The future, quite possibly. Always wanted that. But as soon as his marriage was over, he stopped thinking about that as well. But with another wife? Another chance at this?

"Because I thought it was a given."

"How can you assume that?" Julia sounds positively livid now. This is so not the turn he thought this was going to take. "I don't want children. We don't want children. We have careers."

Oh. "Oh," he mumbles. "Okay."

"Okay." She sounds way calmer now, takes Tom's hand, and puts her head on his shoulder. "Children," she laughs. "Look over there, so much work."

Julia's pointing in Libby's and Violet's direction. And while Tom must admit that it looks exhausting, having to care for a child in this way, always being there, he also knows this is exactly what he wants. Screw a career, screw reputation and everything that comes with it. He wants to sit in his dad's garden with his family, and he wants his wife to be next to him while they watch their children - plural - play with their aunts and uncles.

"Julia?" he whispers, still facing ahead, not stopping to see if she's looking at him, whether she's heard him, "I haven't signed the divorce papers. And I don't know if I will."

***

James, Diana, Sarah, Emma: They're all staring at her. Violet is asleep, and Yakov as well as James at least act as if they're watching the football. They aren't, Beth can tell. But really, what is she supposed to do? She doesn't know more than them. Or well, she does. But she said to Tom he'd have to decide. She's made her choice, and it was his turn. She still believes in that. Julia storming off in her and Tom's car after screaming through the entire house gives Beth an idea of what happened, though.

She simply thought that it had already happened. Three days until the wedding, she reminds herself. Or, maybe not?

"What?" she finally asks, after more staring from the Hiddlestons.

"What?!" Sarah isn't as loud as Julia, but she's not calm, either. "What happened here?"

"How would I know? Why does it always have to do with me?"

"Well," Diana chimes in, ignoring a warning glance from James. But Beth has seen it, and she's thankful. Although, it doesn't help the tiniest bin. "I keep asking myself that, but let's be real. We all know why."

Beth gapes at her. And really, they can all stop with the snickering. She wants to leave. And she will. Right now.

"Don't you dare," Emma says calmly, almost too calmly. And then they all nod, slowly. "Don't you dare leave. You go up there and talk to my idiot of a brother. I don't know what he's done now, but I know he was an idiot about it. And he won't talk to us."

Before Beth can answer, James chimes in. Thank God. The normal one. "He will to you. And fuck me, I want to know if I need my suit cleaned."

They push her - actually, physically push her - towards the stairs and then wait for her to climb them. Idiots, all of them. And Tom is, too.

Beth debates just walking past his room and maybe make it through an upper window somehow, but honestly, that would probably just make her an idiot, too. And so, feeling the stares of the entire Hiddleston family on her back, she makes it to Tom's old childhood room. The door's still open. Huh, Beth thought Julia for sure would have felt better slamming that one, too, but here they are. She peeks inside, Tom's on his bed, staring at the ceiling. She doesn't want to disturb him, but before she can retract, he's spotted her and calls for her.

"You can come in. My family will want to know what's going on."

Beth doesn't even try to hide the snort. "Well, you can tell them later," she answers, but still, she makes her way inside his room, ensuring the door his closed behind her.

Tom does look at her, then, a grateful smile on his lips. It's only a small one, though. "Thanks," he mumbles. "And I know they've sent you here. And I will tell them later. I'm sure you want to know what happened, too, though."

"Honestly? Not if I can help it." She makes it sound like a joke, but it's the truth. She's so done with the drama. Who is she kidding, though? "But I feel like I maybe should know?"

Tom nods, sitting up. And Beth definitely doesn't watch how his shirt rises up, and she also ignores how his hand tucks at his hair, a nervous habit she still recognises. "You should."

She sits down on the bed next to him and waits. Waits a bit more. "Well-"

But before she can go on, Tom heaves a big sigh and finally answers the question she hasn't asked. "I signed the papers. Only a few minutes ago. Brought them here."

"That's-" not what she expected, actually. At all. Is Julia just mad at him, because she caught Tom signing the papers just now? Because he hasn't told her? Dread settles in Beth's stomach. Dread, a deep disappointment, and humiliation. Oh god. Tears fill her eyes, and she tries to wipe them away discretely.

Okay, time to admit it to herself. She does care about the outcome - nobody is surprised by that one. Has cared for it ever since Tom came to her doorstep all those months ago, asking her to sign the papers. She's done it, for him. And really, she expected him to do the same. And then she hoped. Just for a week, she hoped. But Tom's signed them. Beth clears her throat. "That's good for you." Her voice cracks. She's never been the actor in this relationship.

"Yes. It's what I need, I think," Tom says. He looks at her now, all concerned, all caring. He doesn't have the right to.

"Sure." She nods. Keeps nodding as she tries to get up from the bed. She's dizzy, feeling very hot, so hot, but it's all that she can do now: get up, get out of the room, tell James to get his suit cleaned, go to her flat and then cry for a week. Or maybe two.

But Beth doesn't make it up from the bed. Instead, Tom grabs her hand with his own. "Don't. I'm not done."

"Oh, I think you're-"

"Nope. Not letting you leave. I've done that too many times. We're going to fucking communicate. I'm sorry I've been so bad at it. You're right. We're not going to test each other like that again," he repeats her own words from just a few days ago. "I'm going to tell you what I want, and you're going to tell me if you want the same."

Beth swallows, but she nods. She's had her heart broken by Tom more than once. Probably more than twice, even, and yet, she's here for another round.

"I signed the papers. Only a few minutes ago." She already knows that. He's said so, not even five minutes ago. At her frown, Tom says it again, slower this time. "Only. A. Few. Minutes. Ago."

Oh. Beth glances at her watch, and from the corner of her eyes she sees Tom nod. Julia left half an hour ago. But still, "I don't understand," she whispers. "Did Julia-"

"She didn't find them. I told her. This has nothing to do with her. She's not pressuring me. I didn't sign them for her. We're over."

There's ringing in her ears. Beth sways despite sitting down. She could swear the room is moving, or maybe it's just the bed. But then she looks at Tom. He's already been staring at her, and now his blue eyes are anchoring her. 'We're over,' he said. Huh.

"She doesn't want children, but that doesn't matter. I don't care if she wants them, or not. I know you do, but you know what? That doesn't matter, either. I want to be with you, eventually, no matter what we both want. Children, dogs, being aunt and uncle, having an entire football team. I can see it all with you. I just need you there with me."

"Huh." It's not the most intelligent response she's ever given. But it's the only one she comes up with right now. And then, "Eventually?"

Tom laughs. It's more of a huff, really. But he does roll his eyes, and then nods to himself. "Yeah, thought you'd focus on that." At her raised brows he just laughs again. Beth can't see why. "We should figure some things out first, shouldn't we? Brian is going to call me, and he'll be mad. The press is going to have a field day with this, Julia and my friends back in the States, as well. Though, I can imagine which side they'll pick. I won't find her for them. And, well," he stops. Suddenly, he looks so nervous. Not that Beth can register anything beside her own nerves. "I want you. No matter in what way. And I'm only just noticing that I don't know if you want me as well."

"I-" Ha. That right there is a very good question.

"I don't need an answer now. I just need you to know I'm free. From all, actually. I'm not married to you anymore. So, you are free as well. You can do whatever you want to do, Lucas. I do hope it helps to know that I love you."

It does. Of course, it does. She hasn't allowed her to think it, yet. She loves him as well. Has never stopped. But she doesn't say that. Instead, she nods. "Lucas, huh?"