chapter ii.
(   post-civil war   )

when i was younger, should
have known better and i can't
feel no remorse, and you
don't feel nothing back
ophelia ─── the lumineers

new avengers facility
june 12, 2016
(   tony's point of view   )

The End.

I didn't think it was going to end like this.

I swear to God, I didn't think it was going to end like this.

To have your life end with something like this, it was the perfect way to ruin those left behind. There are so many things that I would change. Then there are so many things that I would want to change, but God knows I wouldn't. Maybe it's because of selfishness, arrogance, idiocy, or something else stupid. I honestly don't care anymore. Yet I am the opposite of numbness. I feel it all and it's gonna ruin me, just like it ruined everything else.

My forehead rests in between the palms of my two hands, supporting me, keeping me upright because myself is all that I have left. Just me. No home. No friends. No family. No nothing. It's all just like I knew it was going to be. I knew I was going to be nothing in the wake of December 16th and I knew Lisa was going to be nothing too. My head falls to the right and the darkening sky meets my eyes through the new panes of glass.

I can still hear her twenty year old voice quietly saying, "I'm on your side. I'm always on your side."

But it wasn't enough.

Before it all ended, we both knew it wasn't enough.

I nearly look around in expectation of seeing her here. And then I remember how much of idiots we both are... or were. I breathe out a heavy, angry sigh as I clench and unclench my jaw. There's not much sound in the main building tonight. I guess I've grown so accustomed to the ridiculously annoying cacophony of noise that I've now come to almost miss it when it's gone.

Rhodey, Rogers, and Wilson laughing in the living room. Vision spewing all sorts of weird crap that hardly anybody understands. Barton and Romanoff sharing some likely shady spy secrets while the latter of the two rolls her eyes at everyone and holds a smirk on her face. Lisa and Wanda giggling and laughing as they play board games and tell each other horribly cheesy jokes. God, those are all things I never thought I'd come to miss. Or maybe they're all things I never thought I'd come to lose. Or come to hate.

"Tony."

I lazily roll my head back to look over my shoulder. A familiar strawberry-blonde with a tear-strained face stands in the doorway. Huh. Well how about that. I'm honestly surprised to see her. Who knew Virginia "Pepper" Potts still cared? I grit my teeth and close my eyes, slightly shaking my head. I mentally curse myself. She's not the problem. It's me. It's always got to be me. And, as I open my eyes to watch her again, all I see is that she's in pain. God, I can't stand it. My chin lifts slightly as I tear my gaze from the woman and turn further in my chair. I hold a blank expression while I continue to stare out at the night stretching before the new Avengers Facility.

"Tony," Pepper's voice cracks and she then falls into struggling to keep it strong, "Tony, we need to talk about this."

I don't respond as I feel my throat swell closed and I force myself to swallow.

"You know..." she takes in a small breath, "You know she was my daughter too,"

Something rabid in me snaps.

My hands curl into fists and I stand to my feet so I can face the woman, "Your daughter?"

Her light eyes narrow and her voice is defensive as she says, "Yes."

"She was no more your daughter than she was Janice Montgomery's!" I spit the words out like the poison that they are.

I instantly regret them. God, what is wrong with me? More tears trip down Pepper's cheeks and I scrunch up my mouth, tasting the bitterness of the words against my tongue. Yet I don't stop and I have no clue why. No, forget it, I do. I know exactly why. Because I'm me.

"You weren't the one who conceived her, if I do recall correctly, Ms. Potts!" I point two fingers at my t-shirt covered chest, "It was me!"

Her face contorts before she snaps back, "I might not have been there for her conception, but I was there for her bellyaches, her tears, her scraped knees, her heartbreaks, and I was there for all the times you left her alone, Tony!"

I let out a seething breath, my fists shaking in rage, "Screw you, Pepper! Screw you!"

"Screw me?! Screw me?!" Pepper yells back, her voice getting higher and her feet taking her closer, "No, you know what, Tony? Screw you!"

"You don't get to tell me off!" I interrupt just as loudly, jabbing my index finger at her, "She was my kid! Not yours! Not yours, Pepper!"

She continues on, ranting with a low and bitter laugh, "Oh, screw you because of everything you said to her! Screw you because you hardly ever said that you gave half a crap about that girl!"

"I didn't give half a crap?!" I shout back, not at all caring about what comes out of my mouth at this point, "Who was the one who stayed with her for the past two years, huh? Where were you again? Oh, that's right, you couldn't be bothered to drop that stupid company that I gave you to actually see the kid you so lovingly call your 'daughter'!"

"Who's the one who lost her?!" she screams, "Who's the one who let this happen to her, Tony?!"

Pepper pulls back suddenly, her chest nearly shuddering as she turns her face away in shame. I pull a face at her as I throw my hands onto my sides and turn back. I grit my teeth against each other as my head irritatedly twitches to the side. There's only silence now and I can't decide if I'm glad for it or if I hate it. A small sob exits the woman's mouth and I hear her take in a quick breath as she tries to recompose herself.

"Tony."

"What?" I mean to sound harsh, but it just tumbles out of my lips so weakly that I again clench my hands into fists and angrily squeeze my eyes closed.

She takes in another deep breath before whispering out, "Tony, I just need to know. Please, all I want is to know the truth. Just answer my question."

"What question?" I ask, faking exasperation.

There's another long pause before she whimpers out, "She's dead, isn't she?"

*cries for a million years* It's so heartbreaking! Present day Tony hurts me. And then that argument between my dream couple, I mean, oh my goodness! There had to be a lot of bad to be able to fuel that kind of disagreement and those words! And then Lisa being dead! *freaking out, even though I'm the one who stinkin' writes this, but ugh* Okay, so, what do you think? What do you think is going on here?! Why is it "Tony's fault"? Why is Lisa dead? Did this give away what side Lisa chooses or if she chooses a side at all? What are ya'll thinking?

Until next time!

Vote, COMMENT, and follow!

But, first, a funny thingamabob (to make us all feel better):

RDJ makes that SAME FACE *dies* (and what the heck is Steve saying? I don't even understand this world)