chapter xxi.
(   civil war   )

all these voices in my head get loud
i wish that i could shut them out
i'm sorry that i let you down
let you down ─── nf

raft prison, undisclosed location
june 11, 2016

"Dad?"

His brown hair was tousled and his equally brown eyes squinted at me as I stood in the golden light of the hallway in his doorway. His forehead was glistening with sweat and his expression was struggling against the haggard feelings I knew were lingering from only a few moments before. Sucking in a sharp breath, he groaned a little and then unsteadily reached a hand out to grab onto his watch. I knew it was late, or, well, early, I supposed. He dropped his wristwatch back down and he rolled onto his side to see me better.

"Smalls? Wha-what's up?"

My eyes stared at him sadly, but I couldn't seem to voice my thoughts so I just gave a wimpy shrug and rubbed my thumb against his doorframe. He groaned again, forcing himself to sit up and push the sheets of off his bare chest. He brought his calloused hands to his face and covered his eyes, releasing a heavy and rasping breath. I bit down onto my bottom lip and shuffled over to the side of his bed. Dad's shirt that off of my shoulders twisted around my stomach as I climbed onto his mattress and crawled over to get next to him.

He kept the curtains open in his room that night, allowing us to see how the full moon reflected off of the dark ocean and then bounced against the window glass. I hadn't seen the moon in three months and the thought made my eyes sting with tears. Both of our heads of hair were still wet from the showers we had taken, once again being the first time in three months. Nothing felt real yet. It all felt like a dream, like we were really were still stuck in that cave with Yinsen, Raza, and all the rest.

After all, how could so much change in only forty-eight hours hours?

I sat on my knees and rested my head against his shoulder, whispering, "You scared me... You were yelling."

He did that a lot on our first nights after we were rescued from Afghanistan and even into the nights after we started making the suit. He didn't like to talk about the yelling that followed his nightmares and I never told anyone. It wasn't important to mention if he didn't want me to. But I knew our days in the Afghani cave haunted him, maybe even more than they did me.

He nodded quickly, not looking up from his hands, "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you, Smalls."

"Are you okay?"

"Mmhm. Yeah." He answered a little quickly to be believable and nodded again before he tore his face from his hands to look down at me, "Are you?"

It took fourteen year old me a few minutes to respond before I whispered in embarrassment, "It's just..." His raised his eyebrows in wait and I sighed in quiet concession, "I'm scared to sleep alone."

"I missed you too, Lees." He gave me a lopsided smile and there was a long pause in which he just stared at my pitiful expression, "You've gotta be kidding me with those big puppy-dog eyes. You're killing me." He heaved a playful sigh before motioning his hand, "Alright, Smalls, climb in."

"Really?!" My voice grew soft and my eyes widened in a mix of excitement and relief, "You mean I can sleep in here with you?"

"As long as you don't hog the covers." He gave a tired wink before he flopped back down onto the mattress with a big yawn.

I rolled my eyes, knowing very well he was the blanket-hog out of the two of us. After quickly jumping into the blankets, I rested my head on one of his many extra pillows and Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulders, allowing me to slide into his side as we did every night we were in the cave. We laid in silence for a long time, feeling a strange peace settle over us. I stared out the window past his balcony to the ocean that crashed against our cliff in soft and gentle waves. It was calming, but it didn't stop either of our thoughts.

I finally broke the silence with a tentative whisper, "Dad?"

"Hm?" He hummed back, rubbing his forefinger and thumb over his tired eyes.

I shifted down so that my head rested on his arm and squeezed my eyes shut, "What would you have done if Raza had let..." Bile rose in my throat and I had to swallow hard to finish the rest of my sentence, "those things happen to me?"

Dad quickly glanced down his nose at me. I could feel his muscles tense at the thought of what could have happened, what would eventually have happened.

"I would have gone back to that cave and I would have killed every last one of them."

I sucked in a sharp breath and I rubbed my face into the sheets, trying to wipe away the tears that burnt my chapped cheeks.

I nodded a little and my voice wavered as I whispered, "I'm sorry they used me as lev-leverage against you. I'm really, really sorry."

"God, don't be, Sweetheart." He softly kissed my hairline and shook his head, "A person would do everything they could for their kid." His voice grew immovable as he emphasized, "Everything they could."

Everything they could.

Our reflections showed against the blue-tinted window. I laid on my side and Dad laid behind me, his arm wrapped around me and his head leaning against the top of mine. Somehow neither of us looked so alone. We didn't look small or tired or broken. We looked safe simply because we were with the other.

"Maybe you'll understand someday." I could hear how hard he was trying to be positive about all of it, "But we just gotta be grateful that day is not today, right?"

"Yeah..." I whispered back, thinking about Christine Everhart's stupid magazine and quickly blinking against my still stinging eyes, "Who knows? Maybe one day I will."

I stared at our two reflections against the window.

I stare at my own reflection against the window.

No one holds me now.

A dark blue jumpsuit covers my slightly shivering frame, making the truth a little less easy to hide. My usually tan skin somehow looks pale against the deep blue of the jumpsuit. My brown hair that falls to my shoulders looks stringy and it's still wet from when they hosed us down when we first got here. Dark circles have formed underneath my eyes, draining out the color from my irises and making them look hollow and empty.

I've never looked so unlike myself.

Then again, I've never been so unlike myself.

My dark blue covered legs are criss-crossed on the ground as my back leans up against the cold metal wall. As I shiver and tremble, the metal encasing me clinks and rattles. Secretary Ross, as the one in charge of this underwater prison, ordered that my arms be tightly restrained. They've handcuffed my wrists into electronically charged restraints that forms a 'X' over my chest and has a metal hook that hoists them up as another metal bar latches around my neck. I had to keep myself from panicking from the memories and flashbacks when they forced the straps and metal onto me. Clint tried to make them stop when they put Wanda and me into these very specific restraints; he yelled and he raved and he fought, but there was nothing to be done.

None of us could fight.

None of us could do anything.

They say that we're still liabilities. Apparently, because they cannot take my thrusters out, the handcuffs are so that if I do try to blast my way out, I'll either be electrocuted or I'll have to shoot through my own flesh and bone.

It's nearly as if they've thought this through.

It's like they were prepared for something like this to happen.

I keep my tired eyes on the laceless shoes they made us put on and I grit down hard onto my bottom teeth, feeling fresh waves of misery settle over me every few minutes. I've puked a few times in the little metal toilet that sits nearby and we all refused the trays of food the prison guards brought by a few hours ago. Still, I feel a kind of empty in the pit of my stomach that no food can fill; I'm so sick and I'm so cold.

"I protected you when nobody else gave a crap about you! Nobody cared whether you lived or died! I cared!"

My hands are shaking. I just can't get them to stop.

"And what have you done to me now, Lisa?!"

Tears burn in my eyes and it's hard to breathe in through my tight lungs.

"I did what I had to do! I had my reasons!"

I can see the look on his face: so distraught, so hateful, so broken.

"And none of it was against you."

My God, I've lost everything.

"I hate you."

I'm not stupid.

"I hate you."

I know it's all gone.

"I hate you."

The words resonate with me now, echoing against the walls and against the floors and against my heart. There's no escaping them. Not for me. Not for him.

For as long as I can remember, my family has been my only lifeline. I never cared about the money or the fame or the big house or the fancy cars or whatever else. I cared about Pepper, and I cared about Rhodey and Happy, I cared about Peter, and I cared about my father. I cared about making them happy and I cared about living up to their expectations in the company and with the Avengers. I cared about being a good niece, sister, and daughter. Now, I'm in a cold white-lit cell, an ocean away from everything that raised me up. They were my lifeline and now I'm out here without a safety net.

"I hate you."

But I had to do everything I could.

Other glass-walled cells surround mine, full of people that I've called my friends for the past four years. Well, except for that guy whose name I don't remember, it was like Scott or Scottie or something. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention when they shoved us into these cells. He's talked a bit about his family since we got in here, but my mind has been too blurry to really focus.

Disregarding whatever the heck happened in Leipzig, Wanda and I silently decided we needed to stick together, but I lost track of her after they put us through the showers and locked us in the binds. I don't even want to think about what they could be doing to her.

"I hate you."

The humming in my head is strangely dying out after... after the vision. Even if I don't have them, I can always sense another presence in the back of my head. It's always lingering, always lying in wait. It was stronger when Loki was around doing whatever it was he was doing, but it's been more blocked ever since the whole Dark Elf incident in London. What lingers is usually calmed whenever Vis or even Wanda are around, but now, it just feels like it's dying out, going to sleep, conserving energy. I somehow get the idea that this is a bad sign. Who would have thought that four years I would want the pain to stick around?

This is just stupid.

God, everything and everyone is so stupid.

Even me.

"Are you okay, Lees?" My head slowly raises at the sound of Clint's voice from a few cells away.

"I hate you."

My stinging eyes squeeze closed and I bite down hard onto my bottom lip, leaving imprints into the soft pink skin before I take in a hard breath and nod.

"Yeah." My hollow voice echoes against the cold metal walls and and I struggle to rub at my stuffy nose against my shoulder, "I'm just fabulous... How about you?"

"Eh. Could do with a pizza right now."

Despite everything, a small smirk breaks onto my face at his attempt to cheer me up, "Maybe next time the guards take a lap, you can ask for one."

Scott then speaks up and leans closer to his glass window, "If we're ordering pizza, I'd like one with pepperoni, please."

"I'm good with pepperoni." Clint nods a little, "How 'bout you, Lisa?"

I nod too and call back quietly, "Always a favorite."

"Can you all shut up?!" Sam suddenly snaps from the cell to my left, "...If we're ordering pizza, I got one word for you idiots," we all raise our eyebrows in the small pause that follows, "anchovies."

"Ah, gross!"

"Sam!"

"That's literally the worst topping!"

We all start to sadly laugh a little then, but the smiles don't last long as we all end up remembering just where exactly we are and how we got here.

God, how did we get here?

"I hate you."

Clint lets out a heavy breath and his knees seem to go a little weak as he thinks about how he's never going to see his wife, sons, and sweet little daughter again. He slowly eases down, breathing deeply as he leans against the metal cot. Scott paces to the other side of his small cell, pushing his spine against the opposite wall as he remembers the faces of his family who are waiting back at home. With guilt falling over him, Sam slowly lowers his head and rests his face in the palm of his right hand while he goes completely silent. And me... I close my eyes and pull my legs tighter to my abdomen, trying to forget all else and trying to remember how this is worth it.

"I hate you."

I had to do everything I could.

I have keep telling myself that I had my reasons. No, no, not reasons. Reason. I had my reason. A lump wells up in my throat and I press my quivering lips into my shoulder, fighting the tears that threaten to break from my eyes. I suck in a few hard breaths and I grit my teeth, forcing the tears and the pain back. I give a stiff nod and I force myself to straighten my shoulders, refusing to give into it now.

I had to do everything I could.

Clint's voice suddenly breaks the silence with a mocking call, "The Futurist, gentlemen!"

My heart leaps in my chest and I glance up from my feet at the sound of Clint's mocking voice and the door sliding open. The lump in my throat enlarges and my stomach twists sickly. With his black leather-covered shoulders slightly hunched and his arm in a sling, a familiar figure cautiously steps into the cold cell circle.

Dad.

Tony.

His big brown eyes are wide with shock and disbelief as he slowly turns to look at the place that imprisons us now. And I can see the horror in his eyes, and the sickness. I can't stand to look at him. My eyes roll closed and I shake my head a little, rubbing my forehead to the top of my kneecap.

"The Futurist is here!"

Tony slowly looks over at the man that sits behind the glass.

"He sees all! He knows what's best for you..." Clint's mocking voice grows to a bitter mutter as he folds down with his elbows on his knees, "Whether your like it or not."

Tony's jaw clenches and he steps over to the glass, "Give me a break, Barton." He glances off to the side, nodding a little. "I had no idea they'll put you here. Come on."

His voice sounds oddly pleading. God, he still just wants us all to understand. And I do. I understand all too well.

"Yeah, well, you knew they'd put us somewhere, Tony."

"Yeah, but not some super-max floating ocean pokey." He shrugs his uninjured shoulder, glancing around and his eyes darting as quickly as they can away from my cell, "You know, this place is for maniacs. This is a place for..."

"Criminals? Criminals, Tony. Think that's the word you're looking for."

The two stare at each other.

"Right? That didn't used to mean me. Or Sam, or Wanda. Or your kid, Tony." I let out a small breath that shudders my chest and Tony's shaking hands tremble into fists as Clint points a finger towards where I sit, "That kid in that cell two down from mine! She's yours! That's not what she or me or Wanda were. But here we are."

It takes a moment for the man to respond with a simplistic nod, "Because you broke the law."

The archer scoffs back, "Yeah."

"I didn't make you. Or her."

"La, la, la, la, la," Clint mumbles on in a uncompromising tone as he steps away from the glass.

"You read it, you broke it."

"La, la, la, la la..."

"Alright, you're all grown up, you got a wife and kids." Tony narrows his eyes at him and jabs at the archer exactly where it hurts, just as Clint did to him, "I don't understand, why didn't you think about them before you chose the wrong side?"

Clint quickly stands; his jaw clenching in fury. Tony gives him a lingering glare and quickly steps away.

"You gotta watch your back with this guy." Clint angrily slams his fists against the glass, "There's a chance he's gonna break it!"

Tony nearly jolts at the bang that resounds and he sharply glances back at his friend but he just continues on walking. I grit my teeth and briefly squeeze my eyes closed. I already can tell how much Clint's words have hurt him. I could always tell.

Scott frowns distastely, "Hank Pym always said, you never can trust a Stark."

Tony cocks his head a little, squinting at the man, "Who are you?"

The guy looks a bit deflated as he scoffs quietly, "Come on, Man..."

I hear Tony's feet slow in front of my cell and, even as I see him out of the corner of my eye, I can't get myself to look up at him. Not yet. God, I can't stand to look at him after all that we've said to one another. He said he hated me and I told him that I wished the wormhole had taken him. How can I ever look at him again after that? How can I look at him and not feel anger? Not feel guilt?

"How's Rhodey?" I spit the words out, needing to know the answer despite what my father and I feel about each other at the moment.

My fingers clench and unclench on my shoulders as I fight the gross feeling in the pit of my stomach. The memory of Rhodey plummeting from the sky will never leave me. Every time I close my eyes I see how his body twisted and turned before he hit the earth. It's strange. I suddenly remember the time he and I went water skiing and my skis caught on the water, making me flip head over heels. Without a second of hesitation, he dove right in and pulled me out. I quickly shake my head and readjust my uncomfortable position on the ground.

There's a brief pause where he takes in a small breath before Tony replies, "They're flying him to Columbia Medical tomorrow. So... fingers crossed." I slightly nod in relief and he stares at me for a longer moment; his eyes growing dim and pained, "Is there anything you need? They feed you yet?"

I don't know what comes over me, but suddenly I'm saying things I know I'll regret, "What's this?" I put on a mocking grin as I finally look up at him. "You actually care about me now, is that it?"

My grin fades a little as I stare at his face.

He has a dark bruise under his eye and he looks completely exhausted and in so much pain. The wrinkles on his face that inspired mine look more defined than I can ever remember seeing. And as I see that now, I feel more than ever how badly I want to go home. I just want him to kiss my forehead and tell me that it's all going to be okay. But there's no chance of that. That life is over. That him and that me are gone, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

Tony grits his teeth, giving his head a slight shake as he still studies my face that is still partly covered by wet and stringy hair, "I never stopped caring about you, Lisa. Come on."

"Yeah?" I scoff out a laugh, dropping my gaze back to the ground so I don't have to see his broken expression anymore, "Forgive me for having a little bit of a hard time believing you."

"What? I'm supposed to believe you think I'm the same as Janice or Howard?"

I shake my head, letting out a sigh, "You believe whatever the heck you want to, Tony. You always do."

"All that I believe is that I'm the guy who needs to know where Steve went."

"You assume I know?" I roll my eyes up to look at him.

He gives a stiff shrug that tries just a little bit too hard to be casual, "You let them go. I assume you were in on the plan the entire time."

"Mmhm. I was." I laugh again, giving a sarcastic and bitter smile that I learned from him, "Yep. Completely."

Tony's hand tightens into a fist against the glass while Sam comes into my line of sight, standing at the edge of his cell and glancing from his window into mine.

With that same sarcastic smile, I keep going, "I knew from very beginning that the Barnes were hiding away in Romania, planning to blow up the UN and kill T's father. I knew that he was going to escape the Task Force Headquarters and we were gonna fight in Leipzig like a bunch of idiots. I knew all of it." My voice echoes all around us, bouncing off the cells' glass windows and metal walls.

Sam and I meet each other's gaze and his furrowed brows that used to be painted with concern slowly lift as he understands.

"I had no idea what was gonna happen." The words finish spitting out of my gritted teeth before I roll my eyes and fall back into the wall, "And I don't know where they're going."

I see the muscles in Tony's jaw clench and he takes a small breath before he glances at Sam, "How about you? You got anything for me?"

Sam simply scoffs and shakes his head, "If you think I'm about to give you anything, then you're gonna have to,"

"Oh!" Tony suddenly holds up a finger, "I just knocked the 'A' out of their 'AV'. We got about thirty seconds before they realize it's not their equipment." My brows dip and I lean forward to glance at the security cameras, "Just look." Tony suddenly displays a holographic image of a bloodied man from his phone and I struggle to walk to the window to get a better look, "Because that is the fellow who was supposed to interrogate Barnes."

I feel all of the blood rush down from my face and my knees feel weak.

"Clearly, I made a mistake." Tony speaks slowly and carefully, "Sam. I was wrong."

"That's a first." Sam replies with a flat and unforgiving expression.

My lips pull apart in shock and my eyes search the ground as if it holds the world's answers for me. He was framed? Barnes never set the charges? He wasn't the one who killed T'Chaka and that means that... Oh God, that means that all this time, all of what Ross has made me do, it's all been for absolutely nothing. And my reason, my poor little reason, was not a reason for what I've done at all. My hands squeeze into fists and I force myself to restrain from kicking something. I drop my forehead to the glass in aggravated disbelief.

"Cap is definitely off the reservation but he's about to need all the help he can get."

My eyes slide back open and I stare at Tony with a hard expression, trying to figure just what exactly his plan is.

"We don't know each other very well. You don't have to..."

"Hey, it's alright." Tony leans closer to the window and Sam uneasily sighs, hesitating on his words, "Look, I'll tell you... but you have to go alone and as a friend."

Tony gives a light shrug, "Easy."

My thumb creates a rhythmic beat against my shoulder as I listen to Sam tell Tony they're in Siberia. Apparently, that was where the Barnes were held back in the 1990s and early 2000s. There's a facility there with another team of Winter Soldiers, just like Steve was saying in the airport before we all started fighting. God, why didn't we just talk this through? Why didn't we just figure all of this out? Tony finally gives another stiff nod and he barely even glances at me before he swiftly turns and walks towards the large metal door.

My heart once again leaps into my throat and I panickedly speak up, "Wait, wait, stop! Don't leave us here, Tony." All I see is his retreating leather-covered back and I yell, "Tony!"

He stops his trek to the door to nonchalantly turn back and squint at me, "What?"

"You're going to need backup." My jaw sets and I give a knowing nod as my eyes flicker with memory, "Believe me. I know better than anyone." His eyes further squint in confusion before I go on, "Get us out of here. We... I can help you.

He shakes his finger at me and I can see his eyes dart up to the security cameras, meaning that the audio is back, "I'm not doing anything for you, Kid."

I smirk bitterly, "Oh, I know you won't do anything for me. Do it for yourself. You need me."

He just mimics my smirk and I really do see exactly where I got it from, "You're the last thing I need, Honey."

My eyes narrow as he turns once more and suddenly I'm again yelling things I know I shouldn't, "Hey! What about Pepper, huh? What are you going to tell her when she asks about me?!" His body stiffly stops and I see his hands clench at his sides, "Are you going to tell her that you let her daughter go to prison?"

His hands begin to shake from the force and, as he whirls around and stalks back towards the glass, I can see that he isn't acting for the cameras or for Ross anymore. This is him and this is me. I don't retreat. I don't back down, even as I see the men in the other cells watching us with narrowed and yet still shocked eyes.

Tony's eyes bore into mine as he sharply snaps, "I'm not going to tell Pepper anything! You know why not? Because I don't want to hurt her because of you. I don't want to hurt her by letting her know why you're here. You're here because you chose the wrong side."

"Side? How can all of you be talking about sides? Are you kidding me?!" My lips release a scoff and I shake my head, "I'm here because I didn't do what Ross wanted me to do!" My voice builds to a shout as I throw a hand out towards the cameras, "The reason I'm here is because I wouldn't become a murderer,"

His voice raises to yell over mine, "You're here and you've got to pay the price now, Lisa, and that's your fault!"

"Who put me here, Tony? Who put me here?!"

"You know who!" He bolts just inches from the glass and screams back, "You know exactly who!"

And even though I know he will never say them again, and even though he doesn't say them now, we both can hear his words find us again, in the midst of this raging ocean and underneath layers upon layers of metal bars and chains, "I hate you."

There isn't a healing. There isn't a recovery. There isn't an apology. Nothing can fix what has been said. And suddenly I want him to feel it, I want him to understand, I want him to know all of why I've done what I have. I want him to see what Ross had over me. I want him to know what I've kept to myself for far too long. I want him to know why I had to do all I could. And, God forgive me, I want it to hurt.

My hair clings to face and my words are rough and coarse, "No matter what you believe, Tony, I never wanted to lose you."

My heart thuds in my chest and my blood thumps in my ears and there is no stopping the truth.

"But here's what I want, now. You say I've got to pay the price?" I bare my teeth as I whisper, "Well, Tony, I want you to remember the price you've paid."

His brown eyes darkly pierce into my blue ones, studying my face, taking in this last view of his daughter before the last of what binds us is torn completely.

And I don't stop, after all these years, I've been forced to learn that Starks never do.

"You've paid the price of losing the last two members of your stupid, perfect Stark legacy."

He pulls his head back violently, studying me with wide and confused eyes.

"We all had to do everything we could. Scott has two daughters. Clint has a wife and three kids. Wanda has a boyfriend. Sam has his brother and sister." Tony's eyes continue to bear into me and I tell the truth, I finally tell the truth...

"And I've got my own kid to look out for now."

There are tears in his eyes as he whispers in a horrific mix of anger and shock and sickness, "What?"

"You wanted to know what Ross had on me? You wanted to know why I did what I did, why I would do everything I could? That night, that awful night, when I told you about my brother, everything changed that night." His eyes flicker with memory and the tears in both of our eyes grow thicker as I state for what used to be my whole world to hear, "I'm pregnant."

The world seems to slow down and my own blood pumps in my ears, drowning out the sound of anything else.

Still, Tony doesn't respond. He just stumbles back slightly, pulling back and sucking in a sharp breath as he takes me in.

"Let me out." I stare into his eyes, my voice growing careful and measured, "Let me out and let me help you."

Tony studies me for a few more seconds, breathing heavily and blinking fast. The world still seems so slow and so unreal, but I still can't take anything back. No words. No truths. That's what I've learnt. You can't take anything back. Everything changes and there is no rewind. There's no turning back time. When you destroy everything, you have to face the consequences. I have to face the consequences.

Tony suddenly swallows hard and nods quickly down to his shoes, "And here I was thinking you were better than me."

I stare at him, saying nothing.

He clears his throat and sniffs, twitching his head into a shake, "No... No, this is where you're staying."

My father turns and my father walks away.

I yell after him, knowing that no matter what I say, it won't make a bit of difference, "You leave now, there won't be anything left! You leave now, Tony... this will be the end."

And my father keeps walking, having turned his back on me, unwilling to look back.

The metal doors slide closed and then there is only silence. My heart slows down in my chest and I feel sick as I slowly turn to the wall and I shakily slide down it. Minutes pass. Maybe hours. Maybe days. It feels like an infinity before the power suddenly shuts off. The humming of the prison goes silent and the lights go dark. Only the small emergency lights shine from our cells and a pale green light glows in the center of the circle. And then my cell door slides open and the metal chains around my neck and chest fall into my lap.

I sit in place for a long second, staring in shock before I leap up. Caution laces my every step while I slowly move towards the now open cell door and step out into the open. Sam, Scott, and Clint are all against the windows and watching me with wide eyes. Standing in the middle of the circle, I stare at the large metal door and I let out a small scoff and shake my head.

Unbelievable.

Eighteen years and he's still shocking the heck out of me.

I swallow and take in a quick breath, spinning around and pointing a thruster at Clint's door, "Back up for a minute, alright?"

"Hey, what are you doing?!" The archer holds up his hands and frowns at me.

"I'm getting you out, what do you mean 'what am I doing'?"

Clint rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "You don't have time. You need to go."

"Whoa, whoa, we're not letting her get us out too?" Scott looks between all of us with wide eyes.

I firmly shake my own head and step closer, "Clint. We're not doing this. I want to protect my family and I want justice, but not like this."

"You're right. We're not." Sam speaks up now, "Stark's giving enough time for only one person to get out and that's you. You want justice? When you stop those idiots from killing each other, you gotta remember justice for who." He frowns and cocks his head at me, "For you or Barnes?"

My eyes are hard against his until I turn and shake my head, "No, none of this is right. I'm not leaving you guys in here. I'm not leaving Wanda."

"She'd want you to stop them, right?"

I debate for a moment longer, gritting down onto my teeth and growling out in frustration, "You're going to get out of here! I promise!"

"Go, Lees." Clint nods his chin towards the exit before his eyes grow sad, "For your kid." My eyes briefly squeeze shut and I shake my head at the man who is in the same place as me, "Go."

I backpedal, turn, and sprint for the exit, knowing I only have a few minutes before the walls close back in on me. I yank down on the emergency release level and the metal door cranks up just enough for me to slide underneath. And before I stand, before I go face the war that I know waits for me, my eyes fill with sadness as I turn back to look at those I'm leaving behind.

And I whisper the words to more person than one, "I'm sorry."

And that's what I have to say to you: I'm sorry. Wasn't all of that awful?! And the mentions of Pepper and agh... As for the other thing... Surprised? Did I blow your minds?! That's going to make a few things a bit more complicated, don't you think? Poor Tony and agh poor Lisa and everybody. But hey, we have Uncle Peter to look forward to! Hmm, I wonder how T'Challa would react to all of this... You guys gotta trust me! You stuck with me this long, don't you dare give up on me now! I debated about this for a long time and after some helpful advice from Ariadoney, I decided to really go with my plans. Leave a comment and vote!

A potential future quote from ma story:

"So, let's talk about your plan of yours. I think it's good, except it sucks."

"Oh, we've had worse."

- Peter Quill and Lisa Stark, The Death Season (Avengers: Infinity War)