POISON & WINE /    taIktoomuch

Dr. Nate Mercer is no stranger to leaving. Walking away has always been his answer, to silence the noise, to escape the weight of everything he can't fix. It's an art form, really, one he's perfected over the years. He's the man who builds walls high enough to keep anyone out, who keeps his distance because it's safer that way.

London was supposed to be his fresh start, a clean slate far away from everything that cracked him wide open. In the busy hum of a new city, he found a kind of freedom: prestigious fellowships, sleek hospital corridors, and no one to ask questions about what he was running from. It wasn't happiness, but it was enough. A quiet, carefully curated existence where nothing and no one could hurt him again.

But running only works until the past catches up.

Now, standing in the polished chaos of Seattle Grace Hospital, Nate is forced to confront the very ghosts he's spent years trying to outrun. He wears his usual armor: a sharp coat over perfectly pressed scrubs, a mask of calm professionalism, and eyes that betray nothing. But the cracks are there if you know where to look, subtle, but widening under the weight of what's ahead.

What's ahead is Derek Shepherd.

The man Nate loved in another lifetime. The man who was once everything and who shattered him in ways no one else could. Derek, who saw the pieces of Nate he kept hidden from the rest of the world, who fit into his life like he belonged there,until he didn't.

Their love had been a secret, a fragile thing that existed in the shadows of med school dorm rooms and on the edges of too-long glances across lecture halls. It was intense, all consuming, and destined to break. Derek had chosen Addison, chosen a life that didn't include Nate, and Nate had done what he always did best, he left.

That was years ago. Years of silence, of pretending it didn't still hurt, of trying to forget the way Derek's voice made his heart race and his world tilt on its axis.

When Richard Webber reached out with an offer, a coveted position at Seattle Grace, it should have been easy to say no. And maybe it would have been, if Derek's name hadn't been attached to it. Derek, who personally recommended him. Derek, who hadn't reached out himself but had clearly opened this door.

It should have been easy to turn down, but it wasn't.

The first time Nate sees him, it's like time collapses. Derek looks the same: warm smile, confident posture, the kind of ease that draws people to him like moths to a flame. But there's something different in his eyes now, something heavy and worn, like life has carved out pieces of him too.

Their first interaction is painfully professional. Polite smiles, clipped words, a pretense of distance that neither of them believes. Nate is determined to keep it that way. He didn't come to Seattle for Derek. He came for the job, for a chance to rebuild himself on his own terms.

But Derek has a way of unraveling him without even trying.

The hospital is chaos. The interns are reckless, running around with wide eyes and too much ambition, and the cases are brutal, high staked and emotionally draining in a way London never was. Nate throws himself into the work, trying to drown out the noise in his head, but Derek is always there, always just close enough to remind him of what he's trying to forget.

It's in the stolen glances during surgeries, the way Derek's gaze lingers just a second too long in the hallways, the tension that simmers in the air every time they're alone.

Nate tells himself it doesn't matter. He's here to do his job, not to relive a past that nearly destroyed him. But the truth is, Derek has always been his weakness, the one thing he could never quite let go of.

And then there's the hospital itself, Seattle Grace, with its messy, unfiltered energy. It's nothing like London's clean precision. The staff are loud and alive, throwing themselves into the work with a kind of reckless fervor. Nate isn't sure he fits into the chaos, but he's never been one to back down from a challenge.

The interns are the worst of it young, overeager, and entirely too bold. They remind him of himself, once upon a time, before life made him sharp and guarded. He should keep his distance, stay detached, but somehow they worm their way in.

And then there's Meredith Grey.

He sees it the moment she looks at Derek, that flicker of recognition, the tension that mirrors his own. He doesn't know the details, but he knows enough. Derek's past has always been messy, and this is no exception. He should stay out of it, keep his head down, focus on his work. But Nate has never been good at ignoring things that don't sit right.

Seattle Grace is a minefield of emotions Nate didn't sign up for. Between the cases, the interns, and Derek, he's constantly teetering on the edge of losing his carefully constructed calm.

But he's not the same man he was in med school.

At least that's what he tells himself.

ZACHARY  QUINTO            NATE MERCER.

ALSO STARRING

Patrick Dempsey .... DEREK SHEPHERD
Chandra Wilson .... MIRANDA BAILEY
Sandra Oh .... CRISTINA YANG
TR Knight .... GEORGE O'MALLEY
Kate Walsh .... ADDISON MONTGOMERY
Hamish Linklater .... JONAH MERCER
Teddy Sears .... GRAHAM NEVIN
As Described .... DAVID MERCER
As Described .... MARGARET MERCER
As Described .... MEREDITH GREY
As Described .... PRESTON BURKE
Grey's Anatomy Cast .... THEIR CHARACTERS
As Described .... OTHERS

PLAYLIST !

Poison & Wine — The Civil Wars
Song For Zula — Phosphorescent
Creep — Radiohead
Exile — Taylor Swift ft Bon Iver
Old Pine — Ben Howard
You're Gonna Go Far — Noah Kahan
All I Want — Kodaline
Back To December — Taylor Swift
Slow Dancing In a Burning Room — John Meyer
Youth — Daughter
Liability — Lorde
We Don't Eat — James Vincent McMorrow
Shadowboxer — Fiona Apple
The Night We Met — Lord Huron
Letters From The Sky — Civil Twilight
All We Do — Oh Wonder
Ghosts That We Knew — Mumford & Sons
Like Real People Do — Hozier
This Is Me Trying — Taylor Swift
Illicit Affairs — Taylor Swift
Tether — CHVRCHES
Somebody To Love — Valerie June
Mirrorball — Taylor Swift
The Archer — Taylor Swift

AUTHORS NOTE !

I'm so excited to bring you my derek shepherd fic!! this has been in the works for so so long! i really hope you love nate & his story as much as I do.

I do not own Greys Anatomy, that belongs to Shonda, I only own my characters & their storylines

DEDICATIONS
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