To wake up every fucking morning, after forgetting everything. Then my first thoughts are,'Shit! Another day how I am gonna pass this? I should stop thinking about him. He doesn't care for me. Goddamn. I must be strong, but sometimes get watery. It makes me weaker, physically and mentally, every day of my life. Then I tell myself, ' Don't worry, everything will be fine, be strong, you need to forget those all things, just get up now, and take a deep breath. You deserve better.'

The same story repeats the next morning, every morning. I can't explain the sh*t going through my head. But will he ever realise how much I love him? It kills me. It is killing me. It has clearly broken me beyond repair. He once said,' I'll never ever leave you until my last breath.' But that was all a lie, he was just playing a game with me. Did he ever love me?

The last night when he was with someone else. seeing him getting so close with someone else. I ran away. He had noticed that I had seen them together there. He ran towards me to stop me. But my heart was completely broken by what I saw. He stopped me and I looked into his eyes but he was still telling a lie to me. His grey eyes were telling lies to me. I was in a big shock after seeing all that. I was about to die inside. But I calmed myself down, and cried a lot alone in a room, but I could not understand how I should forget all these things, all these things were not able to get out of my mind.I was sick for 1 week. I was in a deep shock.

I still remember when I first met him. That was a very beautiful day of my life, the way he looked into my eyes. The way he held my hand and proposed to me. ohh god, that was a very special day for me.

Now today when he was with someone else, it seemed as if I would have died the day he proposed to me.

When he came to know that I'm not in a good condition he came to meet me, but he was not alone, the girl who was with him that night also came with him. Seeing both of them, I was completely mad. I had lost my temper, because that hit me badly.

I told them to leave me alone, I did not want all those things which I try to forget, those things come again in my mind. I just want to move on.

Forgetting everything. I could not live with this pain anymore. I have only had two chances now. One to live with this pain and kill myself or I should start a new life. So I took a deep breath and forgot all these things. and started a new life.

I have changed my apartment, I have shifted and got a new job. where I can live my life better and If in case in the future I'll meet or see him, I will give him a simple smile and will take care of my own work. I'm happy with my decision.

Author - Alice Adams