*Trisha*

This is NOT how I wanted my day to start. First, I'm late to my routine doctor appointment because Paul insisted, I drive. I had a fucking panic attack halfway there and he had to take over.

"We'll just do a little every day, ok?" Paul says while driving. I nod but know this is something huge that I can't seem to get over. After my doctor appointment Richard calls me up in a tizzy.

"What the hell is going on with Hollan?" No hello's, no how are you's. Richard doesn't have time for small talk.

"I haven't a clue what you're talking about." I look over at Paul and shrug. We are sitting in the studio parking lot while Richard tells me how Nate texted him saying 'he's done'.

"I don't care if he's on board with this Mila thing or not.  And I don't know why this is suddenly bothering him so much. He's done PR stunts plenty of times over the years." Richard says.

"I'll talk to him, ok?"

 Richard hangs up.

"What was that all about?" Paul asks curiously. 

"Drive to Nate's so I can go knock some sense into him." 

We get to Nate's and Casey gives me a look.

"He's NOT in a good mood. I think he's in bed." Casey warns. Paul makes himself at home on the couch while I barge into Nate's bedroom.

"Nate! What the hell!" I rip the curtains open and Nate groans in disapproval.

"Yeah, we're not doing this!" I throw a pillow at him, but he just takes it and hides his face in it.  "Richard just called me. You can't just text 'I'm done' and then not answer anymore messages!"

"Trisha. Go home." He murmurs under the pillow. Yeah ok. I sit on his bed and try to have a calm rational discussing with him.

"What happened this morning?" 

"Nothing. I aced the interview, performed the song, and lied to the world. I'm done. That's it." He sits up and leans against the headboard.

"So why did you text Richard? Nate, talk to me."  I push his hair away from his forehead and study his face. Something's not right with him lately and I can't tell what's up. This Mila thing is really messing with his head. He's starting to really fall for her.

"Because I'm done. Trish, this shit is giving me panic attacks. I'm done with the lies. These publicity stunts are killing me. I lie to my fans, I put myself in risky situations... don't you get it? I didn't sign up for this. It has nothing to do with my music. It's not worth it." He says all panicky.

"See what it's doing to me? This whole thing with Mila. It's too much. I can't be near her. I'm starting to believe my own lies! This isn't me. This isn't how it's supposed to be. They said it would be just a few interviews and a few public appearances. I'm with Mila every single day. I can't!! How much longer do they expect me to keep up the act??"

"Nate... Elliott said through your world tour. I'm sorry. I was gonna tell you but-"

"WHAT?! So it's definite?" Nate starts breathing heavier and it's concerning.

"You're in a contract with the record label. Richard? He's your boss. He calls the shots. I'm sorry sweetie, it's out of your hands." I frown.

"This is my LIFE we're talking about!!" I watch Nate jump out of his bed an begin to pace nervously.

"I know. This stuff never bothered you before. Richard said you're being 'difficult'. I told him you just have a lot going on but will come to your senses. Nate, you have to do what they say. Your tour is already booked and sold out."

"It never bothered me before because I was always wasted! Nothing bothered me when I was drinking. Now my job is affecting other people. I don't want to be involved with Mila. It's tearing Julia apart. It's tearing ME apart, Trisha. It's jeopardizing my health. Look at me!"  He begins to have a panic attack. I know all the signs. I've been there.

"Hey! Nate..." I stand up and grab his shoulders to stop him from pacing. "Look at me. Take a breath."

"I can't!" 

"You can. I'm right here with you. I'm gonna be on tour with you and by your side the whole time, ok? I'll make sure you're ok. Just remember it's all fake."

"But it's not! God damn it, Trisha. I slept with Mila." And there it is...

"I know..." I nod.

"WHAT?!"

Standing in the doorway is Julia who apparently just got home from the Avalon. Both Nate and I spin around to see her and Nate is full-fledged in his panic attack now. Shit!  There she is, with Jonah right behind her... The timing is fucking perfect.

"I can't..." He stares at Julia. "I can't...

"Nate. Look at me."

"You slept with her?" All eyes are on Julia now. "When?"

"Shit. Nate, you're having a panic attack." Jonah exits quickly and comes back with his black bag within seconds. He rummages around until he finds the Ativan, opening the bottle and putting two pills in Nate's hand.

"Here. Hurry up and take these. You're gonna give yourself a heart attack."

 Casey also comes in and stays quiet while Jonah counts Nate's heartbeats per minute. He's all wound up now.

"120. Tachycardia... " Jonah looks at Casey. "Sit down." Jonah forces him to sit down in one of the chairs near the bedroom window and Nate drops his head.

Julia lets out a little laugh and we stare at her. Is she fucking losing her mind right now?

"You're pathetic." She turns around and walks away. Her laugh resembles Cara in all ways...

"Nate, don't worry about her. Hey. Look at me. Take deep breaths, ok? The Ativan will kick in soon." I remind him and he looks at me with sad eyes.

"I fucked up, Trish. I fucked up so bad."

*****

*James*

And that's when it started. Julia shut down. Not for just a day either. She shut down for a full week. Barely living. Not saying one word to anyone, including me. She still helps me with everything, but she hasn't said two words in a week. She avoids everyone.

"Julia, how long are you gonna let this go on?" I sit next to her on the couch, but she still doesn't utter a word to me. Instead, she closes her eyes and lays her head down on my lap. I frown and run my fingers through her hair to let her know I'm here for her. No matter what. But her depression is consuming her and it's hard to watch.

She ends up falling asleep in my lap. Casey sits next to me with a frown.

"This one's bad, huh? It's been days." She looks at me sympathetically. 

"Yeah. This... this one's bad. I don't know how to help her." I admit and look over at the nurse. She resembles Julia in so many ways but the biggest is her sensitivity. She's a people pleaser.  

Nate comes home in a foul mood. Great.

"She's still doing this?" He drops his keys on the counter and looks at Julia who is sleeping on my lap. "This game's getting old."

"If only it were a game." Casey looks at him and away.

"If you have something to say, just say it." Nate glares at her. He's taking whatever issues he has on poor Casey, and I can tell her feelings are hurt. She stands up and crosses her arms. Narrowing her eyes up at Nate just like Julia does.

"I used to be a huge Nate Hollan fan. Until I got to know you. Now... I see you're just a piece of shit under that fake layer everyone else sees."

Oh boy. Jonah is at the dining room table on his laptop and his jaw drops hearing this.

"CASEY!" Jonah is appalled. "He's still your boss. Piece of shit or not."

"So fire me." Casey walks out of the main living area and slams her door.

"Great. Even the Mini-Julia is pissed at me. That's just great. Anyone else?? Anyone else want to tear me down today? I'm all fucking yours!"  Nate picks his keys up and storms back out of the apartment.  Jonah looks at me with wide eyes.

"What the hell just happened?" He shakes his head.

"I have no clue but he's having a damn temper tantrum.

"I better go check on Casey. She's like Julia..."

I nod in agreement and look at sleeping Julia on my lap as Jonah heads to Casey's room.

"Everyone's falling apart." I say aloud to no one.

But something is up with Nate. And it's more than just this Mila shit. I can't pinpoint what it is but something is different about him. He's more on edge than ever before. It's almost like....

Shit.

It's almost like he's drinking again.