*James*

"Jule... What are you doing?? You said you chose me? You said it's always been me."  Nate is confused and for good reason. Instead of saying goodbye to me, Julia is giving me a shot. One month. Just me and her. No Nate. No distractions. Of course, Nate would be pissed off. I would be, too.

"One month. That's all I need." Julia stands against the kitchen island with me. Nate is pacing right in front of us as we have this needed conversation. But this is Nate we're talking about. You can't just have a conversation with him without him yelling or losing his cool.

Paul, Jonah, and Trisha all sit on the couch. All eyes are watching Nate pace and lose his shit. Nobody knows what to say.

"You fucking sleep with him for one night and suddenly change your mind?? He can't take care of you the way I can. Jules, you know this." Nate doesn't bother making eye contact with me.

"I owe this to him. He should get a chance too. Nate, he's done nothing wrong."

"I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!"  He stops in his tracks and yells at her. Typical. "The only person who has done anything wrong is YOU, Julia. You're the only one who slept around." 

 The room falls completely silent as all eyes are now on Nate. The air becomes stale as Julia's calm demeanor changes the second she processes Nate's words. She bursts into tears and quickly walks to the bathroom, slamming and locking the door.

"Great. Fucking great, Nate." I shake my head. The two of them won't last together. They are both too hotheaded. 

"There goes THAT bathroom. Hope you have the contractor on speed dial, jackass." Trisha blurts out and Paul starts laughing. Jonah is not though. Not at all.

"The two of you are going to kill her." He says seriously as he walks to the bathroom and knocks on the door. "You're seriously going to kill her." He glares back at us.

"Julia. Please. can you just let me in?" He tries.

"I don't know how you pulled that off, Gallo. But you both are making a HUGE fucking mistake!" Nate yells. "You don't care about her. Not at all! All you care about is sabotaging me."

"I couldn't care less about you right now, Hollan." I cross my arms against my chest, more concerned about Julia in the bathroom.

"Yeah, I KNOW! That's why you fucking HANDED ME THAT BOTTLE OF WHISKEY LAST NIGHT!!" He screams in my face. I let the words settle in my head for a moment. I vaguely remember bits and pieces but can't seem to put the puzzle together. Both Trisha and Paul stand up now. Paul, quickly walking over in case things get out of hand.

 "How would you feel if someone purposely handed Julia a fucking bottle of pills. The one addiction she's trying to overcome. The one addiction that could kill her. You fucking pushed that bottle into me and walked away!!"

The bathroom door swings up and Julia storms out of the room almost knocking Jonah over in the process. "What did you just say??" Julia asks Nate but glares at me. "What did you JUST say happened..."

"Go ahead, Gallo. Tell her. You're not so fucking innocent now, are you??" Nate points to me but I don't have the words. I can't remember it all. I remember getting drunk. I remember seeing Nate. Did I really shove the bottle of whiskey in his hands?

Nate backs away from me completely and sit on the couch next to Trisha.

I remain silent, trying to put the pieces together in my head. It all feels foreign but familiar at the same time. Like it really did happen, but I can't remember it completely. 

"James... What happened last night?" Julia walks right over to me now. I look down at her and shake my head, I don't have an answer. She pushes me in the chest, but I don't budge. "What the hell is he talking about?" She pushes again, still not satisfied that I won't move.

Paul is on edge, not sure who he's supposed to keep safe now. He stands on high alert, ready to defend whoever needs it as trained, but none of us know which bomb is going to explode first. 

"Can we all just sit down and talk about this like adults?" Trisha chimes in, trying to be the rational one in the room.

"I ASKED you what happened!" Julia pays no attention to Trisha. She's out of control and now everybody is on edge, not just Paul.

"Fine. You're not gonna spill it..I will." Nate stands up.

"Nate. Please" Trisha grabs his hand to pull him back down but he yanks his hand out of her grip.

"No. Julia needs to know. She needs to FUCKING know what the sonofabitch tried to do. While you're in one room shutting down, this dipshit comes barreling in, friggen drunk, and shoves a full fucking bottle of whiskey in my chest for me to hold. God damn it, James. Do you know what that did to me???"

Julia throws her hand over her mouth. "Oh my God..." She gasps and her eyes dart from Nate standing in the living room to me in the kitchen.

"James. Please tell me he's lying....

"I have no idea what he's talking about."  I know shit happened, but I don't exactly remember it all.

"Told ya he wasn't gonna remember. He was too hammered. It wasn't intentional." Trisha sticks up for me and glares at Julia. I don't recall ever seeing Trisha last night.

"I can't believe this." Julia spins around. "Nate, you didn't drink it, though, right? Please tell me you didn't drink it."  All the color drains from her face and she sways a little after she spinned  around.

"Trisha stopped me. I just tasted it. That's all." Nate looks away embarrassed. "She took it away just in time." I let out a huge sigh of relief hearing this. He didn't drink it. He's still sober. Trisha saved him. I don't like him but obviously I care about him in some form if I feel relieved that he didn't relapse.

"I swear. I have no idea what he's talking about. Julia... you have to believe me. I don't remember doing that. You know I would never..."

"Stop." Julia interrupts me and the room goes quiet. "I can't breathe." She closes her eyes and grab on to the wall. She's going to pass out. I grab on to her waist and guide her to sit on the stool at the kitchen island.

Jonah jumps up and goes to Nate's bedroom and comes back with the blood pressure monitor.

"Babe, did you eat today?" I whisper before Jonah comes over. Julia doesn't respond. "I told you to go down and eat while I was in the shower. You didn't?" I stop the conversation when Jonah comes closer and puts the cuff around Julia's arm. I could have sworn she went downstairs to grab food while I showered.

"90/60..." Jonah looks at Julia. "Your blood pressure is too low Julia. This stress is too much."

******

*Trisha*

Jonah grabs a banana out of the fruit bowl and hands it to Julia, but she shakes her head.

"No, I feel nauseous." She refuses the fruit. Great. She's gonna have one of her fits. Her blood sugar is too low. She doesn't take care of herself. She should have been at the Avalon like...months ago.

"You may have low potassium. A banana will help." But Julia turns into Cara and becomes stubborn. She puts her arms on counter and lowers her head on them.

"When was the last time you ate something?" The nurse asks and all eyes are on Julia now. The room remains silent. Shit. When WAS the last time I saw Julia eat? She didn't eat the pasta I made the other night. Didn't eat while we ran errands... did she even eat breakfast before we left? Do we really have to babysit her to make sure she eats food every day??

"This is the kind of shit I'm talking about." Nate has had it. He stands up and glares at poor James. James who does nothing wrong gets the brunt of Nates anger. Not the 40-year-old woman who should be able to take care of herself. The blame never goes on her. "You can't take care of her like she needs. You should have made sure she ate breakfast. You know she's struggling with that stuff."  Nate walks over to Julia to try and get her to snap out of ...this shut down... or whatever he calls it. I get it. She's like Cara, but Nate doesn't need another Cara.

He whispers some shit in her ear, but she just shakes her head, obviously not giving Nate the answer he wanted to hear from her. He grabs the banana and carries Julia to his bedroom to talk to her. He's always been a caretaker. If it's not Cara, it's Julia.

Not five minutes later, Nate comes back out and starts making Julia food. Both me and Paul keep our eyes glued to our phones.... texting each other, making bets on who's going to slug who first, and how long it will take to reconstruct a new bathroom. His eyes glance up at me for a quick second, and he smirks while we text. It may be insensitive, but this shit happens so often it's unbelievable. We just sit on the sidelines and watch it all unfold.

[$100 James gives Nate a black eye.] I type and watch Paul read the text. He shakes his head and responds quickly.

[No way, Banks. I'm putting my money on Moretti to throw the first punch.]

I read it and laughed, then swallowed quickly, hoping no one heard me. Only Paul did.  We keep cracking silly jokes to get through this tough environment when Nate's raised voice catches both our attention, making us put our phones down and turn around. I only hear half the conversation because Nate is yelling while James keeps his voice down.

"REALLY Gallo?? You were too busy busting my lip open, He was too busy having meetings about what we should do instead of actually taking care of her," Nate points the wooden spoon he's holding at Jonah.  "And I was too busy dealing with her shutting down. Not one of us caught this. We are all at fault. She can't live alone. She certainly can't live with YOU." He then points the spoon at James and raises his eyebrows. "You don't have a fucking clue on how to take care of someone like Julia."

He grabs the tray and sets up her food to bring to Julia. He turns back and glares at James.

"She belongs here. With me."

****

*James*

God I can't win with him around. I plop down next to Trisha on the couch and rest my head back, closing my eyes.

"You make betting boring." Trisha nudges me and Paul smirks when I open my eyes. She hands me her phone and I scroll through her conversation with the bodyguard.

"You guys are nuts. Glad my life provides you entertainment." I shake my head and laugh a little..then freeze. Trisha gives me a weird look. While reading her messages back and forth a new one popped up. I hand Trisha her phone back and she furrows her brow. 

Dave is texting her. Asking her to please meet him so they can talk. All the color drains from Trisha's face and Paul looks at me, not understanding what's happening. I mouth "Dave" while Trisha is staring at her phone, and he takes a deep inhale. The conflicted look on her face tells me her addiction to Dave is still strong. The fact that she's even staring at the message instead of immediately deleting hit and blocking his number says it all.

I take the phone out of her hand and shake my head, placing it face down on the coffee table and then hold her hand.

"You don't need to respond. You don't have to feel obligated to see him, but if you do. Let us come with you please." I squeeze her hand a little and she breaks out of her trance and nods. Trisha is such a strong woman but something about this guy....no matter what he does. It feels like she always gives. 

Nate comes out with the empty tray of food and glares at me holding Trisha's hand. I let go and pat it few times and Trisha sees the glare.

"Oh, relax. Playboy. He was just being kind." She rolls her eyes. "Looks like your Damsel in Distress finally ate."

Nate ignores her comment and focuses on me.

"She wants us to work together." He grumbles like he just got paired with the slow kid for the gym relay race. I turn around and rest my arm on the top of the couch. I catch Trisha staring at my bicep for longer than a glance and Nate is the one to catch it and roll his eyes at her.

"What? Hot stuffs got a nice body. A girl can look."  Trisha says out loud and gains a raised eyebrow from me and huff from Nate. Paul doesn't participate and Jonah is on the phone with Julia's nutritionist in the other room.

"What do you mean work together?" I dismiss her joke and get back to the real shit.

 "I mean...Julia has an appointment with the Avalon's day program tomorrow. If she sticks with this, I'm gonna need someone to help when I'm traveling, on tour. Someone who can fucking take care of her and notice when she goes four fucking days without eating. She want's that someone to be you. AS A FRIEND James." He specifies. "And you're never gonna fucking shove a bottle of whiskey in my face again or else I WILL strangle you to death. Mark my words, Gallo. You EVER do that to me again you're a goner. When she comes home from the Avalon she comes HERE when I'm here. When I'm traveling, she will stay at the hotel under your watch."

"No." I answer in a calm tone.

Nate looks at me confused.

"No. She said she was giving me a chance. One month of being with just me. With you out of the picture completely."

"Did you get her to eat today, or did you sit back and let me do it?? You don't have a fucking clue how her brain works."

"What I know is...You don't give me the chance. I haven't gotten the chance to take care of her by myself. You're always so quick to jump in and take over without a thought." 

"Bring it up with her then. But tomorrow morning I'm taking her to the Avalon, so one month without seeing me isn't gonna work. Sorry Pal."

He knows he has me there. I can't pay for the Avalon. I can't afford one hour of the Avalon. And she needs the help.

 I know what I need to do now. 

*****

*Trisha*

It feels so weird having Paul as my shadow. I'm used to him being around, but usually as Nate's bodyguard not mine. So going to visit my mother's grave this afternoon with Paul following me was extra awkward. He stayed outside my car and leaned against it to give me my privacy.

 Like always, I have a small boutique of flowers to refill her vase.  Daisies. And like always, I clean up her plot, brush away any leaves and sit in front of her tombstone for a while. Sometimes I talk, sometimes I stay silent. Today was a silent day. I just needed to get out of Nate's house for a bit. The tension between him and James is unreal lately. To the point James ended up just leaving. 

Little did I know James was coming to the same place I come to get away. I see him in the distance sitting down at his son's grave with his knees bent and his forearms resting on them. He doesn't notice me yet, so I study him for a moment, then look away when he wipes his eyes with both hands, realizing he was crying. I stand up, grab a couple of my mom's flowers and start walking over there, forgetting about Paul for a second until he immediately stands up straight and follows me when he sees I'm on the move. I tick my head, and he looks at what I'm looking at, then nods and goes back to the car since he can see me from there.

I stand next to James, and he sees me but remains sitting with his eyes focused on the tombstone.

"Are you stalking me, James The Receptionist?" I ask while removing the wilted flower from the teddy bear and putting the new ones in their place.

"If I recall, you came to me not the other way around." James mumbles dryly and sniffs. I sit right next to him now and nudge him a little. I get it we are in a cemetery, but James is always cracking jokes or making light of situations. Today he's down and out. This whole shitshow with Julia is probably getting to him.

"No cracking jokes today, huh? Not in the mood?"

James doesn't answer.

"Does it have something to do with Julia?" I let out a sigh and stare at the flowers while I talk.

He shrugs. "She was gonna give me one month. No Nate. Just to see if we could make it work. If not, we'd throw in the towel and move on. But now," James lays back flat on the grass now and puts his arms behind his head, looking up at the sky. "Nate got her in the Avalon so obviously the one-month idea is out."

I hesitantly lay back in the same position as James, though I'm a little tense thinking about bugs and ants and shit in the grass. But it doesn't seem to bother James.

"I swear he does it on purpose." He says, still not making eye contact with me.

"Does what?"

"He knows I can't afford the Avalon for Julia so he takes advantage that he can, so he can be the one to bring her and she can be with him and not me."

I let his words sink in a little but feel slightly angry now.

"Nate doesn't use his money like that, James. I think he genuinely wants to help her. And he has the funds so he can. He doesn't rub his wealth in other people's faces or use it to take advantage of situations like that. That's not Nate. He's just not like that, James." I frown, hating that James thinks Nate would rub his money in James's face. Nate is the opposite of that.

"Sure feels like it sometimes." He huffs and closes his eyes when the sun hits his face.

"You're wrong." I say, in the nicest way possible. "Nate would even help his enemies if he saw them struggling or in need. Hell, James...he was giving YOU money for helping Paul out so that Julia could stay in Jonah's care and get a bodyguard 24/7. Especially after she tore through his house and we ALL needed Paul to stick around."

"I don't want his money. I'm gonna to end my leave and go back to work. There's no reason for me to hang around if Julia is going to be taken care of at The Avalon during the days. And then...with Nate at night...when I work.. so I won't ever see her. Guess the jokes on me, huh." He laughs sarcastically. "I wanted a No Nate Month and instead, he gets a No James...Life."

I didn't think of that. It's true though.  Not that Nate purposely made the cards fall in his favor, or at least, I hope he didn't do it on purpose, but it just so happens James is right. If he goes back to work, he'll never see Julia. And if she's in treatment during the day, there's no reason for James to hang around Nate's because there's no one to take care of. I don't know what to say to that or how to solve that problem.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think of it like that." I roll to my side and prop my head up with my hand, so I can look at him now. His eyes are still closed and his face looks so sad.

"It's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong." James says with his eyes still closed, feeling the sun on his face. "Just aligns perfectly with my life right now."

This is not the James I'm used to. He's usually always positive and happy. Now he's down in the dumps and feeling sorry for himself. I can't blame him. Julia is draining.

"We should do something fun tonight. Get your mind off shit."

****

*James*

I get Trisha's trying to cheer me up, I'm just not in the mood today though.

"I think I'll go 'visit' Julia at Nate's after this since it will probably be the last time I see her. Especially if I start going back to work tomorrow night. Plus.. Embarrassing as it is..."I pause and sigh. "I don't have a penny to my name to go do something fun. That money Nate gave me went straight to my mom to take care of her. So much so that my sister had to do a food shopping for me the other day so I had enough to eat during the week." I feel the heat rise to my face but I don't think Trisha will judge me or think less of me if I tell her this. She doesn't seem to be that type of person. "One thing with work, I'd get a free breakfast and the cook would send me home leftovers to get me through lunch and possibly dinner." I swallow hard, thinking of how that must sound to someone who has money. I open my eyes and see Trisha facing me, studying my face.

"James...." She pauses. I can't read her face to tell what she's thinking of me. Am I pathetic to her now, admitting this to someone who never has to worry about money in her life? 

"I had no idea things were this tight for you."

"It's fine. I'm used to it. It is what it is, right?" I turn and lay on my side to face Trisha now. I don't know what she's thinking and we silently stare at each other for a moment. Her eyes fall to my lips for a split second but she catches herself real quick and looks back up at me, maybe hoping I didn't notice. But I did.

"What are you thinking right now?" I ask  bluntly instead of beating around the bush.

"I'm trying to think of a way to help you. I don't want you to not be able to see Julia because you have to work. And I certainly had no idea you sometimes don't even have enough groceries because your money goes to your mom. I know those medical bills can suck a person's bank account dry. When my mom got sick.. her treatments cost an arm and a leg. Even WITH health insurance." Trish nods, understanding a little of what I go through. I don't want her to pity me though. I was just being truthful with her so she could get a glimpse of my world. "I can talk to Nate."

"No. Please don't, Trisha. I don't want his help or his money and I'm not wanted there. He doesn't want me around Julia. And she doesn't need anyone to take care of her now that Nate is healed and can and can pay for the Avalon. I don't have a purpose to be there. It's fine."

It's not. But I don't really have a say in the matter. Trisha frowns when she can't come up with a way to fix this. She's a fixer, that much I know. She has a way of getting things done making things happen. Like how she talked the doctors into home health care for Nate and Julia. But she can't talk her way into fixing my problems and I can tell she's not used to not getting her way or being able to come up with a solution. It's driving her crazy.

"So... you think it's done? You think this thing you have with Julia is over?" She asks genuinely, still studying my face.

"I guess.  Obviously I don't want it to be over. She was gonna give me a month to see if not seeing Nate every single day would clear her mind and help her make a decision. But since that's not happening... " I inhale sharply. 

"Looks like I'm single again."

*****