*James*

"I know I'm stressful to be around. God, you don't think I know that?"  Julia cries to me. Kendall really upset her. I hold her tight wishing I could speak to console her. "I mean just LOOK at me. I'm in the middle of yet another detox and everyone is on edge. God, I KNOW I'm not the easiest person."

"But...They're telling me I need to just walk away from you? James, I LOVE you.. I can't go one day without seeing you."

"Maybe they're right. I'm being selfish. Maybe I DO need to let you move on. It's not fair to you. None of this is fair to you."  She's talking fast. She's beginning to spiral out of control. There's no one else here to help her. Julia pushes away from me and stands up. "Your sisters love you. They're trying to do what's best."

I shake my head with tears falling down. They don't know what's best for me. No one knows. This is all new to everyone and they are just being overprotective. Babe, it's just how the girls are. Don't take it to heart.

"I need to walk away, don't I? I need to do what's right. Being with me isn't healthy for you. I'm the one who stressed you out. I'm the one who triggered your seizure." 

What? No. I take both her hands and stare down at her. 

"God. I caused all this! I cause EVERYTHING! Why the hell am I still here!" 

I don't like where her head is at right now.  I don't know what she is thinking but she is putting all the blame on herself. She looks at me and shakes her head.

"It's me. I'm the one who causes all the problems. I'm the one that needs to leave. I need to end this all." Julia covers her mouth and takes a step back. There's so much I need to tell her but I can't. She can't leave me. None of this is her fault!

"I need to end me."

WHAT?!  No.... Oh my God, this isn't good. I need to stop her! I can't fucking talk and I need to stop her.  I am now full blown sobbing  and frustrated at the way  she is thinking. Julia needs help. Real help. And I'm  the only one in the room.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.. I'm so sorry."  Julia turns around and rushes to the door. Shit. I need to stop her!

Don't do this to me Julia. Don't put this on me. I can't  handle this! Julia don't you DARE  fucking do this to me! Julia!

"Ju- Julia."  I stand up and rip my IV out of my hand while sobbing.

"Julia!"  I say her name louder. Julia stares at me in shock. I'M  in  shock!

"You're-..." I try to get the words out. "You're supposed. You're supposed to say 'James'."

"Julia..." I cry. 

"James." Julia crashes into my body and throws her arms around my neck.

"Oh my God!!" She pulls me down and starts kissing me. She kisses me with all she has and doesn't stop. I grab the back of her head and kiss her back with all the passion I have in me and feel her relax against my body.

"Don't leave me." I whisper hoarsely in between our kissing. She knows I won't be the one to pull away first. Never. That is never going to happen. "Please don't leave me, Julia."

"Oh my God!" Julia repeats, still in shock.

"Holy shit!" Nate is in the doorway stunned. He runs out into the hall and grabs the first nurse he sees. The next fifteen minutes are a blur. Nurses and doctors enter the room and eventually Dr. Giovanni makes his way in with my chart.

"These things CAN happen, though I've personally never witnessed it myself." Dr. Giovanni checks my vitals one more time. "You'll still need to continue with the speech therapy sessions just to strengthen your vocal chords, sir, but other than keeping your stress down and watching out for any more seizures, you're good to go. In excellent health. Keep up with the PT. Your coordination will get better as well. It just takes time." He signs off a few papers and hands them to me. Everyone is in the room now. Including Kendall. The tension between her and Julia is felt by us all but no one says anything. I need to let Ken know my plans. I can finally let people know what I WANT for a change.

"I know what you want."  I stutter and can't find the words at first. "I'm in good hands at Nate's."  I look over at Kendall and nod.

"James, you heard the neurologist. Keep your stress down. I'm sorry, Julia. Like I said. We all love you. But you bring a lot of stress to James." Kendall says matter-of-factly, looking Julia dead in her eyes. I can almost feel her fall apart in the inside. Just hearing someone say that to her, what an awful thing to feel. All she does is look away. 

"No." I say hoarsely. "She doesn't. I'm going to Nate's." I raise my brows at my sister to put her in her place and she slumps her shoulders in defeat.

"Fine." She huffs and looks at Julia now, clearly upset with my choice. "But you need to figure out your life so my brother can figure out his." She leaves the room and we all stand there, silent for a second.

"Sorry." I mutter. "No filter."

"Hmmm. She has no filter, yeah? We don't know ANYONE that's like that, do we?" Nate turns to Julia who squints her eyes at him.

The ride home is quiet but calm. Julia rests her head on my shoulder the entire time while holding my hand. We close our eyes in content. Does this mean......  will Julia give me a chance now? 

*****

*Trisha*

"I can't believe this." I ramble on to Paul while driving from the hospital to Nates. "He can talk. This is just crazy!"

"Right?" Paul nods while keeping his eyes on the road.

"How the hell does that even happen! How do you have a seizure and can just...now ... talk?!" I can't seem to wrap my brain around it. The doctor said these things happen and there's no explanation for them but he has never personally saw it happen to one of his own patients.

Does this mean..... Will James fight for Julia now? She may choose him. And if Julia chooses James.... I could win over Nate. 

I look over at Paul who looks back at me and smiles before turning back to focus on driving. What the hell am I doing?? 

******

We all pull up to Nate's at the same time and all meet at the elevator.

"Ok James. This calls or a celebration. What would YOU like to eat for dinner tonight? I'll pick up or make anything you'd like. Anything at all." I pat James on the shoulder and he smiles at me. James the Receptionist is back!

It takes him a moment to come up with the words and at first he stutters a bit. It's like he knows what he wants to say but actually producing the words may be difficult. That or he's getting used to using his vocal muscles after not being able to for so long. Once he starts, he can pretty much finish the sentence.

"Chi" He stops but then tries again. "Chicken Parm. Or anything Italian."

"Chicken parm it is, Mr. Gallo!" I know the perfect Italian restaurant to order from.

The minute we get into Nate's flat Julia's detox hits her hard.

"No.. oh God."  She runs to the small bathroom off the kitchen and me and Paul watch both Nate AND James run to go help her.

"Huh... Well THIS should be interesting." I shake my head and Paul laughs.  

"We should put money on this. Who she'll choose. Who will win."

"I like how you think, Paulie. Hundred bucks Julia  throws that fucking ring at Nate and chooses James." I snort and walk into the main living area.

"It's on. I think Nate will be the winner. He likes a little crazy." Paul sits down on the couch and I sit down next to him. Casey comes out of the bathroom and I begin to fill her in on everything. Nate is the one to  help Julia to the bedroom to change. Shit. I'm already losing the bet aren't I? Paul notices and gives me a little wink. I squint my eyes at him sarcastically.

I really do like Paul... I shouldn't mess this up or play with his heart.

"She ok?" Casey asks.

"Yeah, it's her detox hitting her." James replies. I hadn't gotten to that part yet and I thought Casey was going to pass out when she heard his voice. James laughs and I can't help but smile over at him. He has a great laugh. I've missed it so much. Apparently so did his dog. The second James laughs, Maggie comes out of his room running. Literally RUNNING to see her owner. James  kneels down  and Maggie barrels into him, knocking him on his ass while licking all over his face.

"Aww. Mags. You big baby. Did you miss my.." He stalls for a minute like he can't remember what  he was saying. Is that ok? It must be. The doctor would have said something. "Voice." James finishes his sentence.

"You're such a good girl." He keeps talking to his dog and seriously, it's the cutest thing ever. If my heart wasn't so fucking confused right now, I'd fall in love with James just from this moment alone.

Oh my God. Figure your shit out, Trisha.

*****

*James*

When I heard Julia said yes to Nate, I thought that was it for me.  But now... now I'm getting better. I still have a chance. And Julia is still helping me. She helps me with dinner just like she always does. I try not to look at that damn rock on her finger but it's hard to miss. It makes my stomach turn to be honest.

Maggie hasn't left my side since she heard my voice.

"You.... You're not getting any Mags, if that's what you're thinking." I scruff her behind her ear and Nate goes and grabs her a few bones. Seriously? He wants to win over the woman I love AND my fucking dog?

"C'mere Maggie. You want a treat?"

"Traitor." I smirk at my dog who will do anything for a bone. Then I notice Julia isn't eating. I can finally say what's on my mind.

"Eat or I don't, babe. I'm serious."

"I think I liked it better when you were mute." She squints her eyes t me and then flashes that smile.  Her hands are shaky but she still manages to help me with everything. Casey is sleeping since she is doing the overnight shift and Jonah is documenting Julia's food intake. Trisha and Paul are eating and talking out on the balcony.

After dinner Julia helps me with a shower. But she doesn't get undressed.

"Really....?" I tilt my head and look down at her. I fumble to put my hand on her cheek but manage. Julia puts her hand over mine and looks up at me.

"Really, James." She says sternly and  begins washing me up.

"Just put the soap in my hand. I can do it." I snap at Julia, Something I never do and it catches both her AND me off guard. "Sorry. That came out wrong. " I apologize immediately.

"You're fine, James." She puts the soap in my hand but I drop it. Not once, not twice but three times. I can feel the heat rise to my face as I become frustrated. Julia continues to pick up the soap, each time getting wet herself.

"Sorry." I apologize again. "My hands won't...." 

I can't think of the word so rephrase my sentence. Is this something I should be concerned about?? 

"I can't hold the soap."

"James... just let me help you. I still want to take care of you. That will never change."

"But I want more. Julia. I'm....." I shake my head feeling the frustration escalate as I try to find the words. "I'm never going to stop loving you. I'm always gonna love you."

"I'm always gonna love you too." She washes my hair for me and helps me rinse while we talk. "But we're not into throuples, remember?" She laughs using something I have said to her.

"I will to take whatever I can get. I will take whatever you give me."

I watch Julia's face contort and she frowns. Her eyes begin to water but I continue talking.

"I will always want....Your toothbrush...." I struggle and Julia finishes the sentence.

"Next to mine and my clothes in your dresser..." She begins to cry. I don't care if she is fully clothed. I pull her in to my chest and hug her, feeling her wrap her arms around my waist.

"I've missed your voice. I've missed all your little sayings." She cries.

"Please, babe. Give me a chance. I've never gotten my chance."

Julia looks up at me, her clothes now soaked, and puts her hands on the sides of my face. She leans up and kisses me and I pull her in for more, deepening our kiss. She holds the back of my head tight and lets me kiss her passionately before breaking away. And breaking my heart.

"I love you James.  I will ALWAYS love you. But that will be the last time we kiss like that. I'm marrying Nate."

******

*Trisha*

"You look tired. You ready to go home?" Paul notices I'm drained while we sit and eat out on the balcony together.

"Yeah, I think so, Hot stuff." I tease him with my usual pet names. James is in the shower so I tell Nate to tell him I will come by tomorrow to say hi.

"Good luck with Moretti, tonight." I joke to everyone who has to deal with her detox and gain a laugh out of Paul as the elevator doors shut. The elevator starts moving and then Paul hits the stop button and crashes his mouth into mine. He holds me tight and kisses me so seductively I ache, but know I am not recovered enough for sex. He slows down the kiss and leans his forehead on mine.

"I've been wanting to do that all day." Paul admits. I'm still not used to this side of him. It all feels new. Or the fact that he is completely professional ALL day long and then attacks me with his mouth the second we are alone. I feel my cheeks flush up and Paul notices and smirks.

"Shut up." I retort. He knows he got to me.

Ok. So I think I can get used to having Paul around. Because I'm really starting to fall for this man.

Later that night James gives me Jennie's number. He told me all about her and Dave and it needs to stop. Right now. As much as I hate to rehash shit or even think about it at all, I tell her everything over the phone. Like me, she was fooled, had no idea. Because Dave is a different person when he is sober. Jennie hasn't been around "Drunk Dave" yet.

"So I actually have a restraining order against him and a bodyguard 24/7" I tell Jennie over the phone and give Paul a little wink. We are still in bed laying with each other and he can hear my conversation.

"I can't believe this is the same guy!" Jennie cries, being upset for good reason.

"I just needed to let you know all this.  As a warning. It will get bad, Jennie. Real bad."

We wrap  the conversation and the first thing I do is cry. I know Paul hates crying and he has seen his share between Julia, and now me, but I can't hold it in. Paul continues to surprise me by sitting up and holding me in his big bodyguard arms.

"God, I know how Julia feels about Jeremy. I hate knowing Dave is walking around, living his best life right now." I mutter.

"His time will come. He'll slip up with someone and get arrested again." 

"Yeah, but I don't want him to hurt anyone else, that's the problem."

*****

*James*

"Shit." I wake up from a PTSD night terror. The same kind Julia gets. Mine don't happen as frequently or as dramatic as hers.  This one was about my childhood and jackass Joe.  I look over to see Casey curled up on my couch. No one wants me to be alone yet, now not so much because I couldn't speak, but because I could have another seizure. So there is someone with me at all times.

What surprises me is when I walk out onto the balcony to see Jonah sitting on the couch with his laptop. He really doesn't sleep much.

"Hey James, everything ok?"

I nod and then remember I can actually speak.

"Yeah, had a nightmare."  I stammer  hoarsely and sit down on one of the chairs.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not even a little." I grumble and change the subject. "She really said yes, huh." I shake my head and look out in the distance.

"Sorry brother, I can't imagine what you must be feeling." Jonah shuts his laptop and gives me his full attention.

"Shitty." I reply. Jonah nods and we are silent for a good minute. Then I continue but am careful with my words, knowing Jonah and Nate are good friends now. "They're not good for each other."

"Yeah, try telling HIM that." Jonah scoffs.

"I..." I stutter a little. "I can't see her being well enough for tour.

"Again, try telling Nate that. I also have concerns." He admits.

"And I'll be all alone. No one is going to want to take care of me." I shake my head and Jonah pats my shoulder.

"We're gonna figure all that out, ok? You won't be alone. Julia won't go anywhere without you so I know you won't be alone."

"I don't want to go on tour with Nate." I blurt out. I actually  haven't really put much thought into it but I can't wrap my brain around that yet. "What, so I can tag along with the woman I love and her FIANCE? That sounds like torture."

"You may change your mind when the time comes. It would be an amazing opportunity and I think you'd regret not going. And hell, it's free. You know Nate won't accept money from anyone. Imagine traveling the world for free?

"Yeah, maybe."

"Nates a good guy, James. You know that. He cares about you. Why? I don't know. Maybe because he cares about Julia and wants to make her happy. Maybe he considers you a friend, or a sibling. I don't really know... But he will make sure you are ok and taken care of. Whether it be on the road or here. You won't have to worry about that. And who knows. If you go on tour maybe you'll meet someone and get over Julia. You never know."

"Look at me, Jonah. I can't fucking tie my own shoes."

"Yeah, well you also couldn't talk and now look at you, dropping the f-bomb and all." Jonah laughs.

I don't think I will ever get over Julia. I can't seem to walk away from her.