*Trisha*

After I dropped Julia off at the airport, I pull out my phone and text James. I'm worried about him. The way he was so upset. Julia really meant something to him. They were friends. I still don't know the whole story between James, Julia and Nate but I do know James and Julia were close. Maybe closer than Nate was.

[Hey.  Just wanted to reach out and see how you're holding up. Maybe grab a coffee?]

Usually, James responds fairly quickly but not this morning. 

I don't bother checking in with Nate yet because in the mornings at the hospital all the doctors and nurses do their rounds so I know he is busy being poked and prodded. There's talk he could possibly be discharged as early as tomorrow. I think it's too early, but hospitals need the beds, so they boot you out fairly quickly.

I head over to the cafe to grab a coffee and get some work done while waiting for James to text me back. 

 A half hour goes by and still nothing. I have a feeling I may know where he is. I know where he goes to decompress. I pack up my stuff and order James a coffee and a bagel to bring to him.

*****

I was right.

I pull up up to Griffith Park where we usually park, and I see the old Range Rover parked where James always parks it.  The SUV is still running. I pull up right next to him, but he doesn't notice me. His head is leaning back on the seat and his eyes are closed from what I can see. 

I turn off my engine and grab the bag of food and the two coffees, gently knocking on his window in hopes I don't startle him.

*****

*James*

I hear the slightest repetition of tapping on my window and lift my head. Once I see it's Trisha turn down the music streaming on my phone and roll down my window. I say nothing.

"Hey Hot Stuff. Breakfast. " Trisha looks at my sympathetically and then studies my face. I've been crying and it's clear. "You're not ok, are you?" She asks. "Unlock the door. I'm coming in."

I hit the button to unlock the door, close my eyes and turn the music back on. Trisha climbs into the Range Rover and closes the door behind her. I still say nothing and still keep my eyes closed.

"I bought you a bagel.  And coffee. You should eat something, James." I can feel her eyes on me, but I remain silent.

The song ends and I open my eyes to look down at my phone. I hit the button to replay the song. This is probably the seventh time now.

"James..." Trisha tries to get my attention. What should be happening is me saying "Julia" after that. But I don't. That's over. "Hey..." Trisha nudges me and I finally give in and look at her.

"How can I help you?"

"Just .... don't talk. I need to listen to this song." I hit play again.

*****

*Trisha*

I sit silently until the country song is over but then James replays it. Again. And again. And again. Ironic since the song is actually called "Play It Again."  This particular song means something to James. 

We've now listened to the song at least six times and that's just since I've been here. I have no idea how many times James has listened to it. He goes to press the button on his phone, but I bypass him and take his hand. He finally looks up at me.

"She's not gonna be ok there." is the first thing James says to me. His voice is low and raspy, His eyes are red and watery.  I don't let go of his hand.

"She'll be ok. I'm sure she has people there to help her."

"She told me she's giving up on herself." 

I study his face. What does that even mean? She's giving up on herself.

"I... I don't understand what you're saying James." I give him a confused look and he looks straight ahead now while he talks.

"She's not in a good place... mentally. At all. She shouldn't have left."

*****

*James*

I know Trisha doesn't understand. She doesn't need to understand.  But from this moment on I'm gonna worry about Julia. Every friggen day. I don't know what she thinks she's gonna accomplish when she gets back to Boston, but I have a feeling she's going to shut down. Julia's gonna shut down and nobody is going to be there to help her.

"Can you eat a little? Please?" Trisha tries to hand me the bag, but I shake my head and look ahead again.

"This was our song." I play the song again. "We sang this song together. God we are awful at karaoke but the crowd...Christ... they loved her. She had everyone on their feet singing with us in no time." 

Trisha sys nothing and lets me continue.

"This was the song I sang to her in the hotel room to cheer her up. We danced to it right in the middle of the room." I sigh and listen to the lyrics, then replay the song again.

"You know what she said right here in this park?" I look at Trisha now. Her eyes are filled with empathy for me while mine are filled with tears. "She said.... if she had never met Nate she would have married me." 

I watch Trisha's eyes widen and then she frowns.

"If she didn't FUCKING meet Nate FUCKING Hollan none of this would have happened!" I raise my voice, just a little. Certainly not yelling by any means but the sternness catches Trisha off guard.

I've offended her.

Trisha huffs and looks ahead now too.

"If she never met Nate Hollan, she never would have met you, James." Trisha says softly. "You should eat. There's a coffee for you too."

Trisha gets out of the car, and I play the song again. She shakes her head and leaves.

And I play the song again.