*James*

Nate reads Julia's latest journal entry that she was told to write by the therapist after her virtual appointment. I watch his face change as he reads what she wrote, and by the end, he looks absolutely infuriated. He hands the book to me. Nate shakes his head and walks out of the room.

Shit. 

Julia remembers the last days when Luke left her. Aside from my father, I've never hated someone so much, and I haven't even met the guy. Julia sits on her chair and zones out after writing all day in her journal and crying for so long. 

I can't blame her for crying. What an awful way to live. Her husband should have been there for JULIA, not the other woman. He vowed to when he married her.

I sigh and put the journal down on the bed.  Nate's eyes follow me when I walk out  and sit on the chair next to the couch. I drop my head into my hands but say nothing.

"Is she fine??" Nate shifts in his seat to face me.

"She's laying down." 

"So.... she's shutting down. I think that's what you meant to say."  Nate snaps back. He  has nerve. He gets up and walks into his bedroom.

I didn't even realize Trisha was here until she came out of Paul's bedroom from a shower. She probably didn't want to use Nate's and have to deal with Julia.

"What's up, Hot Stuff?" She smirks at me while running her fingers through her damp blonde hair. I've never seen her straight out of the shower like this. I don't even know if I've ever seen her without make-up. She's a beautiful woman, and I feel a twinge run through my body. I quickly look away.

"James, you ok???" She notices the after effect of crying in my eyes and sits down on the couch to give me her attention.

"Let's see." I look at Trisha for a moment and then rest my head on the back of the cushioned chair and pinch the tension at the bridge of my nose. "Your million dollar ass of a best friend can't keep his dick in his pants, and Julia's husband Luke can't keep HIS dick in his pants. It's messing with her head." I say bluntly, and Trisha raises her eyebrows.

"Wow. Ok, I wasn't prepared for that." She looks down. I probably offended her by talking like that about her friend, and she doesn't know what to say.

"Sorry. I'm just drained." I  close my eyes. I feel Trisha hold my hand, and I look down.

"You should feel drained. She's a lot." She pats my hand, and  let's go real quick, feeling awkward now.

"It's not her fault. She can't help the hand that was dealt." 

"It's a pretty shitty hand." Trisha says what I've always said to Julia, and it makes me  laugh.

"It really is."

*****

It's been a few days, and apparently, I'm back on the clock. This time, Nate has asked me to go with Julia to an appointment. He obviously can't and knows I'm good with this stuff. I'm good with everything BUT dealing with Julia.

"You're fidgeting." I notice Julia's anxiety while we sit in the waiting room, but she doesn't respond. I kinda feel bad for her. What a waste of a gorgeous woman to have such a messed up mind inside. If she were taller, she could easily be a model here in L.A.  I see the way men look at her, and I get it why both James and Nate are infatuated with this woman. If only her mental health wasn't so fucked.

"Listen, this won't take long at all, ok? And once it's done, it's done. You'll never have to worry about it again." 

"I know Nate forced you to come with me, and I'm the last person you want to spend the day with, but thank you." She says while looking down.

"No problem. I'm used to all this stuff from him... signing shit, filing for shit, legal shit."

Paul is in our presence but will stay in the waiting room until we are done.

The door opens, and a tall, thin man about my age stands in the doorway.

"Ladies, come on in."

We follow the man, and both sit down in the chairs in front of his desk.

"I'll read the guidelines to you first, and if you have any questions, I'd be happy to answer them. Ok, here we go." The lawyer shifts in his seat behind the desk, moving his chair in closer while he reads the documents in front of him.

"When filing for divorce, the person who files, known as the petitioner, is responsible for giving their spouse, or respondent, legal notice of the petition. This is usually done through a process called "service of process," which involves delivering the petition and other paperwork to the spouse.

A "disinterested person" must serve the papers, meaning someone who is not a party in the case is not interested in the outcome and is at least 18 years old.

This could be a neutral person, or the petitioner can hire a process server or the sheriff to serve the papers for a fee.

If the spouse can not be served or refuses to sign the papers, the petitioner can ask the court for permission to use an alternative method of service. This could include:
Publishing a notice in a newspaper
Serving the papers by certified mail
Sending the papers by text message or email.

If the spouse doesn't respond to the papers within a certain amount of time, the petitioner can ask the court for a default judgment, which means the court will decide the case without the spouse's input." He takes a breath and puts the paper back in the manilla folder.

"So, with me being across the country, can I just have it delivered as certified mail, in hopes he will return it signed?" Julia asks.

"For sure, you can even have it sent right back here, and I will notify you when everything is processed."

The lawyer goes on with a bunch of other details and had me sign some papers before dismissing us.

It's not until we are back in the SUV that I notice that Julia is shaking. This was a lot for her to handle. I take her hand and give her a sympathetic look.

"This is a good thing," I remind her. "Now you can move on with your life."

Julia nods and look out the window while we drive away, saying nothing at first.

"Seventeen years. We were married seventeen years. How do you cheat on someone and live an entirely separate life with another woman after being committed for that long?" She keeps her eyes turned to the window.

"I'm not sure. I don't have an answer for you."

"I'm going to need to confront him. I'm never going to be able to move on unless I get answers."

"I agree." I nod. "I can look up flights for you later today if you'd like."

"Why are you being so nice to me, Trisha?" This time, Julia turns around to look at me.

"Because. Nate loves you. And I love him. He's my best friend, and I would do anything to make him happy. That's why." I reply, matter-of-factly. "I may not agree with some of his life choices, but I will always support him. Just like James is your best friend, and you would do anything to see him happy."

Julia nods and turns away but I'm far from finished.

"But Julia. You need to make a decision. Neither James nor Nate can decide this for you. But you can't keep going back and forth between the two. You are tearing Nate apart, and I can't handle seeing him this way. So if you're deciding to be with him- make the decision. But if you're not going to choose him. Let him go. He deserves to be happy."

"I know what I need to do."

****

*James*

"So what's the plan?" Jonah closes his laptop and gives us his full attention. Nate is on the couch scrolling through the TV channels and I'm sitting at the kitchen island scrolling through my phone.

"Trisha just texted me. they're pulling in now."  Nate declares. I'm starting to feel tense. It's tense because I have no idea how the appointment went, and I have no idea what mood of Julia's is going to come through the door. Julia has many moods, and they change rapidly. I take a deep breath and sit up a little straighter when I hear the elevator doors open.

"That was easier than I thought it would be." Trisha comes through the doors with Paul and Julia trailing behind.  I stand up and wrap my arms around Julia.

"You ok?" 

"I'm fine. I don't know what I'm feeling other than disappointed and angry...and scared." She mumbles in my chest.

"Scared? Scared of what?" I pull away and look down at her.

"Scared of this happening again. If we could go seventeen years of marriage and suddenly some other woman sparks his interest...enough to have him lead a separate life with her.... Who's to say it isn't gonna happen to me again. How can I trust ANYONE anymore?" Julia  lets me go and heads to the bedroom.

Jonah looks at me and Nate.

"She's shutting down." Nate says and heads straight to the bedroom before I say anything. But she doesn't shut down like we thought. She walks out of the bedroom with her purse and Nate scurrying behind her.

Julia stops short and looks at Jonah.

"When's my next dose of medication?" She asks the nurse, who then looks down at his watch.

"You already had your afternoon meds, so not until tonight. Why??" Jonah gives Julia a concerned look, but she pays no attention to him. Instead, she pivots and looks at me now.

With a blank face, she walks over to me and grabs my hand.

"Take me to Sullivan's, James. I need to forget. I need to forget everything. I need to forget the last five years completely." A single tear runs down her cheek. I stand up and nod, grabbing my keys and wallet.

"Wait. Julia. You really aren't supposed to drink while on antidepressants." Jonah reminds her but is caught off guard when she spins around.

"Live my FUCKING life in my FUCKING head right now and then you tell me I don't deserve a FUCKING drink, Jonah. Go ahead!!" She glares daggers at him and hits the elevator button. "James will make sure I'm back for my night dose."

And with that, we leave Nate's apartment. Julia says nothing and stares straight ahead while we take the elevator down. She says nothing when I open the car door for her.  She says nothing while I'm driving.

"Babe, are you sure you're ok?" My eyes dart from her to the road a couple of times before we park at the pub. Once parked I quickly run around the SUV and open Julia's door for her.  She doesn't take my hand when I put it out to help her out of the SUV like she always does.  I don't say anything.

Julia walks in to the bar and straight to Nate's booth fast and I trails behind her

There's a few guys  in Nate's booth. 

"Move." Julia demands and the  shock on their faces along with mine were noticed.

"This is Nate's booth. Leave. Get up. Now." . The men give each other a look and scoot out of Nate's booth. Julia sits down and scoots right into the middle and stares Natalie down.

"Hey! Long time no see! Julia, right?" My cousin comes over. "Hi James, how ya doing?"

I give Nat a slight nod but  also a look letting her know, this is not a good visit . Natalie takes a step back, observing Julia, and her smile fades when she sees the anger but also the tear that falls down her face.

"Whiskey. Neat. Right?"

Julia nods and looks up at the television.

"The whole bottle."

I swallow hard when Julia says that.

 Natalie comes back with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. Julia pours a full glass of whiskey and gulps the whole thing down like it's a glass of water. I scratch the back of my head nervously, and Julia finally makes eye contact. She pours me a very full glass and refills her own.

"You're drinking with me. I don't care how we get home." She looks at me and slides the glass over to me. I nod and  we keep our eyes glued to each other and lift our glasses at the same time. I take a small swig...Julia downs her and pours her third glass. Shit. She's gonna need her stomach pumped if she keeps this up. 

"Home." Julia repeats and laughs a little. "I don't even have a damn home." She sips the third glass instead of gulping it down now. I watch, concerned, but don't dare say anything. By her fourth glass she looks relaxed and leans back in the booth. She yas her head back and turns to stare at me.

"I never should have come back to L.A."

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"I was better without meds. I was better without therapy. I may not have been happy, but I didn't remember things. I didn't remember how bad my life was. I was getting by James. You know? I was in a rut, but I was getting by."

"You'd be stuck in that rut forever. Aren't you glad you know so you can move on with your life? Start getting your health back on track? Be happy?" I scoot a little closer, but we aren't touching. I hold my glass with both hands, staring at the whiskey inside.

"No. It's not worth it. I don't want to know anything. I want to forget my marriage. I want to forget his affair. I want to forget her." She pours another glass, and  her eyes are now looking glassy from the booze.

"I want to forget my last name. I want to forget all of L.A." There's this long pause where nothing is said.  The heat rises to my face when she says that. She watches me take another sip of whiskey and stare down into my glass.

"Does that mean you want to forget me?" I look up at Julia. She shakes her head no, but turns her eyes to the half empty bottle in front of her.

"You know they call L.A. The City of Angels?" She asks, and I nod. "Why is that?"

I shrug, not knowing the answer but knowing that Julia is drinking way too fast for that little body. 

She pours another glass.

"Julia..." I go to move her glass away, but she swats my hand away. "You're not making any sense now."

"No. I can still remember. I'm not done. I'm not done until I can forget what she looks like. I'm not done until I can forget what her perfume smells like on my husband's clothes. I'm not fucking done until I can forget the condom in the trash, the lingerie in his bag, the FUCKING yellow sundress on my bed while they fucked in MY shower."  Julia raises her voice, gaining some attention from those around us but they quickly turn away. I look around, then focus on Julia.

"How can I make you forget, Babe? Tell me. But you're gonna make yourself sick if you drink this much this fast."

There's an awkward moment of silence that lasts longer than it should. 

"I love you, James."

She catches me off guard and I sit up straighter.

 "I love everything about you. I love you like you're my best friend."

Oh God.... This can't be happening right now..... Is this why she brought me here? Is this why she has barely looked at me, never mind talk to me? She's seriously doing this to me right now?

"But I need to love you enough to want my clothes in your dresser and my toothbrush next to yours. You deserve that."

I feel sick to my stomach.

"What are you doing, Julia..." I take her hand and hold it tight.

"James..."

"Julia...... please." My eyes water up a little. "Don't do this."

*****

*Trisha*

"I mean, should someone go check on her?"  Nate is bugging the hell out of everyone, sitting at the kitchen island watching me clean out his fridge. 

"She's a grown adult, Nate." I say while scrubbing shelves.

"But she's not thinking like a grown adult. Today was hard for her."

"What? Divorcing a husband that she hasn't even been with for over a year or whatever? C'mon."

"For having to officially make a huge decision like ending a seventeen year marriage because her husband was having an affair. Yeah. Have some compassion, Trisha. The last time she made a big decision it was when she had to decide to take her son off life support. She had to do it alone. Know why? Because he was in the middle of fucking someone other than his wife. Think about that for a second."  He glares at me.

"She's with James. She's not there alone." Paul reminds Nate.

"Yeah.."

"What you SHOULD be thinking about is your first interview in a few days. You need to write down the things you want to discuss and the things that are off limits." 

I finish cleaning and sit next to Nate.

"I can't think about that right now." 

Jonah sits at his usual spot at the dining room table with his laptop and is the one to bring it up. "OK, then what you SHOULD be thinking about is someone making a decision for Julia because she can't make it herself and this back-and-forth shit isn't healthy. Not for her, not for you."

"I think she will make a decision." I blurt out. Maybe I should have kept quiet.

"What makes you say that?" Nate questions.

I look at Paul and I suddenly feel uneasy.

"Spill it Banks."

"I don't know. I just had a little talk with her on the way back from the lawyer's office."

"And?"

"And ... I said she needs to make up her mind because stringing you along is breaking you. Nate, you're my best friend. You know I love you and want to see you happy. This isn't happy." I look him  up and down, then look away.

"So what did she said?"

"She said she knows what she needs to do."

"Well that's too fucking vague, Trisha. She knows what she needs to do? What the hell does THAT mean?"

*****

"Julia, can you not make any big decisions tonight? You've had a long day, and you're drunk. Please. Just think about what you're doing." I push her glass away and move closer.

"Tell me again why this place is called The City Of Angels?" She closes her eyes, clearly wasted.

"I don't know why, Babe. Should we head back?"

"Not yet. James. I need to forget." She rolls her head to the side without lifting it, to focus on me. "Please. Help me forget."

"I know what you're asking. Sweetie, you're drunk... I can't." I tuck her hair behind her ears but she rolls her head back and stares at the tv again. There's no way I'm going to have sex with her when she is like this. She's completely intoxicated. She doesn't know whether she's coming or going right now. I could never take advantage of her  like that.

"Guess I'll just keep drinking then." She sighs and picks up her glass, taking the last swig.

"Julia..."

"James..."

"Don't drink anymore."

"Then help me forget."

"Hun."

The second she hears that, she opens her eyes and whips her head over to me.

"Don't you EVER call me 'Hun'. Ever. You hear me, James?? I never want you to call me that!"

Shit. I don't know if I've ever called her "hun" before. I quickly realize that must have been what her husband called her. Julia drops her head in her hands getting emotional now. "God, don't ever call me that again. Please." She whispers softly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I won't. Can we just go now? Please, babe? Seriously. You're gonna get sick if you drink anymore."

"No. I told you, I'm not leaving until I can forget shit. Even for five minutes. I want to forget it all."

I take a big inhale and look around the crowded bar. I know what to do. I exhale and throw some cash on the table and take Julia's hand.

"James, no. I'm not ready." She tries to pull away but I  walk her away from the booth and through the crowded room.

"You wanna forget? Let's go." I say sternly.

"James...stop.. I think the exit was that door." 

I push open the back door next to the bar. I know this place like the back of my hand.

"Where are we going? I don't think we should be back here."

I take Julia down the hall and into the breakroom. I turn on the light and lock the door, then take my shirt off, throwing it to the side.

"You want to forget? Fine Julia. Let's forget."

Julia thinks I'm giving in to her, but I know better than to take advantage of her when she is intoxicated like this.... I just need her to THINK I'm going to have sex with her.....