*Trisha*  

Saturday-

"Thanks again for tonight." I smile up at Dave. He picked me up and we did dinner and a movie. It was nice. It was needed after a long week dealing with Nate and all his work shit. Dave has never seen my apartment. He never knew where I lived. That was mistake number one.

He now knows where I live.

"Trish..." He looks down at me before I head inside the building.  He tucks my hair behind my ears and his eyes are focused on my lips. "Invite me in tonight." He says in a low voice. Dave leans his forehead on mine with both hands on my face. "Please, baby. Invite me in."

It's like I  can't function or make the right decisions when I'm with him. Like he hypnotizes me or something. For some reason, the word 'no' is not part of my vocabulary. It should have been well before this night.

He leans me up against my door with his eyes still glued to my mouth and slowly lowers his head so our lips touch. It always feels like this spark that runs through my entire body when he kisses me. I can't get enough of the way he tastes, his natural scent, his voice.....his touch. Without giving him an answer he takes my keys and unlocks my door while my back is still leaning on it. Once in my apartment everything happens so fast.

I should have said no when he entered my bedroom.

I should have said no when he took off my clothes.

God, I should have said no when he laid on my bed and pulled me with him.

But it's Dave. My addiction Dave. His kisses were sweet at first, then hungry for me like he couldn't take it anymore. He laid me on my bed and lowered himself on my body, in my body, and it felt so good. Because it's Dave. He always feels so damn good.

He didn't stay the night. Which I was relieved about. He had a meeting early in the morning so left shortly after we had sex. Then my week got busy. Too busy. I wasn't able to meet up with Dave when he wanted to make plans. Between getting Nate's shit in order and running all his errands.... well Dave knows my job can get busy. I have barely even talked to James this week or hung out with him thanks to Julia having him wrapped around her fucking finger. But apparently, Dave forgot what it's like to have the job that I have. 

Friday night there's a knock on my door. I had just gotten out of the shower and wasn't expecting company, but the way he was banging on the door made me think it was Nate and something was wrong. No. I forgot. Dave knows where I live.

Dave was also drunk. He was so drunk. And crying. At my door.

"I slipped up." He cries.

"Shit. Come in" I tighten my robe and let him in. There's another mistake. 

"What happened?" I ask while I get the coffee going to sober him up. "You were doing so well." 

I watch him pull out the chair at the kitchen table and sit down, looking completely defeated.

"It was a company thing. I thought I could handle it. God, Trish. I was trying so hard." He drops his head down and I can tell this was eating him up inside. "I didn't think one drink was gonna do anything. But. Christ. Look at me!" His eyes look so sad. I walk over to him, and he wraps his arms around my waist and leans his head against my stomach over my road. "One drink led to another. I couldn't stop. I completely let myself go."

I run my fingers through his hair to comfort him like I would Nate as he cries against my stomach. "Dave did you drive here drunk??"

"I can't remember."

Shit.

But Dave didn't come here to sober up. I had it all wrong. God did I have it all wrong.

The next morning, I woke up and the very first thing I did was cry. I cried so fucking hard. I was alone in my apartment, thank God. But I lost it. I can't believe I ever trusted him. I can't believe I let my guard down.

He started getting too rough. I even TOLD him he was getting too rough. I said no so many times.  But it was too late.

And now... Now I'm gonna have to hire Paul.

****

Sunday-

The first thing I did this morning is text Paul. No, I didn't tell him much. But I did hire him for when I run errands. 

Today I think Nate caught on. I tried to convince him otherwise. I think I did a good job...

I walk in five minutes after Paul. Jonah took his laptop to his room and is immersed in researching stuff to help Julia, who's depressed and asleep. Paul is on the phone, gives a nod and heads to his room to resume the call. Nate looks me up and down and I'm not sure what clues he's looking for but he's looking for something.

"Why are you staring at me??" I put the bags of food on the counter and give Nate a funny look.

"You tell me, you look suspicious." He smirks and helps me with the food.

"You ALWAYS think I look suspicious. I've done nothing wrong." I roll my eyes but Nate moves real close and squints his eyes at me.

"Nah, you did something with Paul didn't you? I can tell." Jesus Christ. He is so hung up on this thing about me and Paul its ridiculous. But, the reality is, I rather have him think that than know my real mistake. Dave.

"You're delusional, Hollan." I nudge him away  but he pushes his body against me, trapping me in between the kitchen counter and himself. He pushes my skirt up a little and feels the seam of my thigh highs.

"Prove it. You won't do anything with me if you're with Paul. You're too fucking loyal."

"You're always so horny. There are people in the house." I breathe out when he parts my knees with his leg and leans into me more.

"Get used to it, princess. Jonah's moving in to be my roommate." He slides his hands up and down the fabric on my thighs now fully aroused. I raise my eyebrows hearing this news.

"Did you really?" 

"I did, really. Now prove that you and Paul aren't a thing." He groans against my neck.

"You're fucking serious right now aren't you... right here...in the kitchen? When anyone can walk out."

"Trisha, I said PROVE IT. You're stalling. Just admit it. You're SO with Paul. You won't so much as kiss me if you're with another man."

God. Now what?

"Fine. But I'm not doing anything right here out in the open where one of those idiots can see me." I catch him off guard and drag him into the small half bathroom off the kitchen and locking the door.

"You really don't believe me, do you?" I lean  against the door and cross my arms over my chest, starting to get frustrated with Nate for constantly bringing it up.

"Not till you do something... I'm calling your bluff right now, angel."

"You're so fucking needy, you know that?"

"Actions Trisha, not words."

Fine. You want actions Hollan?

I push my body up against his and kiss him hard. Nate smiles against my lips and I have to admit....Nate Hollan might also be an addiction of mine. He untucks my shirt and unzips my skirt, then stares at me. his eyes are full of lust looking at me with my button-down shirt hanging down but still revealing the lace seam of my thigh highs.

"Fuck." He groans again and lifts me up on to the small counter., pulling down my underwear and unbuttoning my shirt. He leaves it on me though and also leaves on my pink bra, I think for the visual. Nate is all about the visuals.

"Lean back." He demands and ticks his chin for me to lean against the mirror. He pulls my hips out more so I'm at the edge of the counter while his mouth settled between my legs.

I told him me and Paul are not together...

*****

Monday-

Nate has been dreading this day since I told him Richard set up a meeting. Before we open the studio door, I examine him. I do this every time like he's my child. I fix his hair a little and give him a nod, making sure everything is perfect. Then I straighten my skirt and we head into the conference room for our meeting.

The conference room is the same room we always use when it's more than just three people, otherwise my studio room is where we would go. Instead, I sit at a long table across from Nate's producer, Richard, next to him typing away is his personal assistant, and on the sides are Elliott, a few music managers, then me. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a courtroom when I come in here with a table full of people. People who conduct the life of Nate Hollan.

Less than one minute of small talk goes by when Richard dives right in.

"So the first thing that we need to do is reschedule your trip to Austin." Richard taps his pen on his pad of paper annoyingly. I can feel Nate's knee start to bounce nervously so I swiftly put my hand under the table and hold his knee making sure no one noticed.

Nate listens to Richard but I can tell he's not ready just by looking at him. I can read  him like a book.

"He needs to get medically cleared to travel. Nothing can happen until then." I try to buy Nate more time.

"So make it happen." Richard doesn't fool around.

"Right, I can work on scheduling his promos in Austin, but it will take some time. He has two local radio interviews and a performance with the band coming up first." I talk but neither of us look up from our laptops both deep in the agenda.

"Ok, but make sure you rebook Austin. That was a big one."

"Of course." I squirm in my seat a little before  my next idea comes out of my mouth.

Here we go.

"We could also make up some of the loss by incorporating San Antonio for some interviews as well while we are in the area." I purposely do not make eye contact with Nate but can feel him glaring at me now.

"I like the way you think. Make it happen." Richard nods and finally makes eye contact with Nate and then myself.

Richard has nothing more to say so he closes his laptop, adjusts his tie, and leaves without another word. Everyone else gets up, says their quick goodbyes and well wishes, and follows suit. Once the conference room is empty Nate shuts my laptop on me.

"What the hell, Hollan!" I flinch, moving my hands away from the laptop just in time.

"I know what you're trying to do." He grumbles.

"What I was trying to do was finish typing my notes."

"San Antonio? Really?"

"What?" 

"I'm not a fucking idiot, Trisha. You're not booking San Antonio for promotional purposes. You're trying to start things back up with Macy." Nate stands up and starts pacing the room.

"And? Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yes! You know it is! Don't you forget WHY we aren't together? She couldn't handle the media attention. It messed her up for a while. Why would you-"

"Listen, Nate." I cut him off sharply. "What if she was open to having coffee with you, just to catch up? I mean, you guys are still friends. Not like it was some huge fall out or something."

"Why would you do that to me? Do you know how long it took for me to get over Macy? Why would you put these thoughts back in my head? Are you TRYING to hurt me?"

I stand up and take Nate's hand as well as a deep breath.

"I'm not trying to hurt you. But there's history there. Five year of history. You and Macy were good together. You were the perfect couple, Nate. This thing... your obsession with Julia...it's not healthy. You need to move on."

"Yeah move on as in forward, not backwards. I'm finally getting my shit together. Now is not the time to reopen old wounds. God, Trisha you make me want to drink. No San Antonio. No Macy. I'm serious." He heads to the exit and opens the door.

"But I already told Richard."

"So, looks like you have your work cut out for you to retract that."

"Nate..."

"I'm so fucking serious right now Trisha. I can't handle this." Nate storms out of the conference room.

"Fuck!" I sit back down and close my eyes for a moment. Now what the hell am I going to do?

*****

*James*

"One night away. That's all I'm asking." I pace the living room. All I want to do is plan one night away with Julia. Just the two of us. Just to get away. Jonah doesn't think this is a good idea. I swear he is on Team Hollan lately.

"You need to treat this place like it's The Avalon, James. You can't just take the patient out of treatment whenever you want and then readmit them."

"I can give her her medications. Hell, I'll even write down what she eats so you can document it for her doctor. One night. She could use a night away."

"I'm sorry. I really don't think it's wise. The first time you guys went out for the day she came back here with a panic attack from the reporter. The second time she passed out and almost fell down a flight of stairs. Not only that, her moods are fluctuating. She's having panic attacks multiple times a day. You just saw her get sick after remembering something from her past. Every hour is different with Julia lately."

"Yeah probably from all those God damn meds and their side effects, Jonah! She has headaches every single day now. She's always tired. She's always crying. Something isn't working."

"I know everyone hates to hear this, but it DOES takes time."

"This is ridiculous." I say under my breath and compose myself before calmly walking back in to Nate's room where Julia is. She's sitting on the chair near the  balcony staring at some bird. When I sit down next to her the bird flies away and Julia gives me an irritated look.

"Sorry, babe. No luck. Gotta wait till your meds kick in more." I take both her hands in mine and kiss them. I'm so frustrated. 

"It's fine." Julia replies blandly.

"No. It's not. You're stuck here reliving your past memories of awful shit and we can't even move forward to make new memories. I feel bad." I pull her hands wanting her to get up and sit with me. She curls up on my lap and closes her eyes. She's not getting better. She's getting worse.

"Thanks for being so patient, James. Sorry I'm not ready yet." Julia kisses the corner of my mouth and for the first time ever, I realize I didn't kiss her back. I rest my head on the top of hers and stare out the window.

"For fuck's sake, Trisha. You could have asked first!"

Both me and Julia sit up a little when we hear Nate's voice through the apartment, apparently not happy with his personal assistant.

*****

"Alright, alright. I'll figure it out. God, you're cranky today." Trisha says.

"Christ, I need a fucking drink." He rubs the tension behind his neck and tilts his head from side to side to loosen up his muscles. 

"I'm sorry, Nate. I wasn't thinking, ok? I'll fix it."

"By the end of the day." Nate snaps and comes into the bedroom slamming the door behind him. 

"I'm gonna get some air." I get up and exit the room to give Nate space.

"I'll be out in a sec." Julia looks up at me but I don't turn around.

"No, you're fine." I shake my head. I head out to the living room where Trisha is sitting on the couch looking frustrated.

"You good out here?" I ask and sit next to her. 

"Not really. I made a mistake with work and now I'm paying for it with moody Nate." She sighs and gives me half a smile before it quickly fades.

"I feel like everyone's having a bad day so far." I take  deep breath. I shouldn't have been so dismissive towards Julia. It's not her fault we can never get any alone time.  But I hate the fact that Nate certainly can manage to get alone time with her. Instead of staying out in the living room, I get up and head back in to Nate's room. I'm  done with giving him space. Especially when he's around Julia. It temps her too much being around him. I need to be present in the room and fucking babysit them every chance I get now.

I hear them talking before I even enter the room.

"It hurts so bad." Nate says.

"It really does." Julia replies. 

Yeah, Julia. It certainly DOES hurt so bad, I think to myself as I stand in the doorway and say nothing. Nate and Julia are laying flat on his bed next to each other, both clearly upset. Tears run down Nate's face. I nod and look away so to not embarrass him. Whatever they were talking about was something that got to him.

"Hey, Jonah said you need to take your medicine now." I say. Julia gets off the bed and passes by me but I don't really look at her.  Instead of following her out of the room, I sit on the recliner next to Nate's bed. Nate is staring up at the ceiling.

"You're struggling."

"No shit, Gallo."

"No. Like with everything. Not just Julia. Work. Being back in the limelight. Media attention."

"Again, no shit." Nate spits out while tears continue to run down his face.

"Can I pray for you?" I ask. I sit forward, leaning my forearms on my knees. Nate huffs but he doesn't say no. Instead, he shoves his palms into his eye sockets hoping to stop his tears.

I drop my head and close my eyes and pray over Nate. I should hate him with every bone in my body but he's still a person. He's clearly having a hard time with life. I've been there. 

*****

*Trisha*

Everyone is in all different areas of the living room eating lunch when I get a phone call.

"Ok, thanks so much." I end the call. "Ok squatters. Everyone needs to find a place to be in two hours.

"Maintenance had a cancellation so is coming to fix the damaged glass slider that Hulk, over here, caused." I glance at James and smirk, and he raises his eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders.

"Sorry. Again. I can give you money." He turns to Nate who just keeps eating with his head own.

"Stop James. Just don't do it again or you're going in Time- Out. I live with a bunch of five-year old's around here." Nate says it jokingly and everyone receives it jokingly.

"I can't be here. No one can know I'm here. Where should I go, back to the hotel?" Julia picks at my sandwich and look up at Jonah.

"Yes."  My answer rolls off my tongue quickly.

"You can just stay in my room like last time." Nate offers but then James looks over to Julia.

"I know you said I can't do an overnight yet, but I can stay at the hotel for a few hours right? I need to get more clothes anyway. James can give me my evening meds, right?"

"Yeah. So long as James does the meds. I can text you when it's safe to come back." Jonah finishes his sandwich and starts getting Julia's meds together for James.

James moves in closer to Julia while sitting at the kitchen island. "Actually, I'm supposed to go to my own counseling appointment this afternoon. I'm sorry... I can still bring you to the hotel though if you want to hang there and get whatever you need." He says trying to keep his voice low, but I can hear him. I continue to stare at my phone like Paul is.

 "Oh yeah, of course. Whatever works for you."

"I'd reschedule it, but then they'd charge me because I didn't give the office 24-hour notice. I can't pay that...it's expensive." He whispers, still not making eye contact with Julia and staring at his half-eaten sandwich. There's some kind of tension between the two of them.

"No, no. You're fine. Don't cancel your appointment. Really. I'll be fine at the hotel." 

"You can't be alone. I'm sorry. I can't let you administer your medications yourself. I have to have someone watch you take it to know you actually take it." Jonah chimes in.

"Are you serious?? I'm gonna take it. You know I am. I can be alone, Jonah." She spins around in her stool and glare at him. "I'm fucking 40 years old!!" She bursts out.

Here we go.....

All eyes are Julia now.

"I'm sorry, Julia. The doctor said it's not allowed. Listen, I'm trying to keep you from getting admitted somewhere but I have to follow the rules too. If you were in a facility, you would not be able to be alone or take your meds without someone witnessing it."

"So, what, I'm just stuck here? Like a fucking prisoner??"

"Hey, it's this or The Avalon! "Jonah boldly reminds me, and everyone in the room. I think he's had it with her lately.

"Ok." She quietly replies. Julia leaves the kitchen and walk to Nate's room.

We all kind of look at each other, not really sure what to do next. Is she gonna check out, flip out or be fine? It's a guessing game for everyone.

"Jonah, you could have done that a little differently." James cleans up his lunch and says nothing more. He grabs his keys and leaves without even saying bye to Julia.

"Is she gonna have one of her...episodes now?" My eyes dart from Nate to Jonah, asking this and being serious.

"Trisha, stop." Nate scolds.

"I'm being serious, Nate. Whatever. I have to run some errands anyways. You can let maintenance in but keep Julia in there. You don't need the media attention if one of the workers see her." I grab my bag and keys.

"She's not gonna have an episode." Nate squints his eyes at me.

"Good because I have to run out for an hour as well." Paul says. "But call me if something happens."

"Glad I'm paying you so well to keep everyone safe."  Nate retorts.

"Actually, he'll be running errands with me, so yes...he is still on the job. ok??" I don't even give Nate a chance to process what I just said before I'm halfway out of the apartment.

"We'll touch base later, Nate. I'll tell you everything later." It's the last thing I say before me and Paul leave. 

We're all in the elevator together. Me, Paul and James who looks confused as to why Paul is with me. I take a deep breath.

"Wanna have coffee with me?" I ask. James knows I will explain everything.

**** 

*James*

I follow Trisha and Paul to the cafe. Paul sits in the booth behind us. He really is on the job right now, isn't he? I look at Trisha and wait for an explanation...if she wants to talk. But she focuses on me first.

"What's going on with you and Julia?" She sips her tea and smirks at me. She knows there's tension.

"I don't know.  Everything's weird right now. Your best friend over there just won't let her go." I admit, unsure if Trisha will take offense to this or not. But she doesn't.

"Tell me about it." She rolls her eyes. "I'm sorry, I know Julia's your best friend. Just like Nate is mine. He can't take this kind of stress. His heart can't take it. She's a lot to handle."

"Tell me about it." I roll my eyes just like Trisha did. " What's up with Paul over here?" I nod to the bodyguard.

Trisha tells me everything.  She tells me about her ex-fiancé Dave.  She tells me about his alcohol abuse and how it changed him. I have a feeling he may have abused Trisha in some way, if not physically, mentally, but I could be wrong and reading into things. Still, hearing Trisha talk about all the shit she went through is hard.  I know for sure alcohol can change a person. Now I know why she is overprotective of Nate. She doesn't' want him to change like her ex did.

But when she tells me how she reconnected with him, I'm little stunned. Trisha is a smart woman. She knows better. She didn't go into detail on what exactly happened but apparently something went sour. Enough for her to hire Paul.

"Please. Don't tell Nate. Ok? He's gonna flip his lid. I will tell him when the time is right and he's over his own withdrawals. Anyways, I'm just overthinking shit, that's why I have Paul. I'm sure everything is fine." She's downplaying it. 

I still can't believe she even gave the guy the time of day. 

Dave must be Trisha's addiction like Julia is mine.