*James*

I wake up in Julia's hotel room from her, pushing my hair away from my forehead and studying her face in the dark, feeling her stroke my bare chest. She is lost in her own little world for a minute but snaps out of it fairly quickly.

"Hey," She smiles down at me.

"Where do you go when you do that?" I mumble.

"Do what?"

"Zone out like that. You go so far away. What's going through that head of yours?"

"Worry. Anxiety. Thinking too much of what I don't know how to fix. I don't know, it's not a peaceful place." She frowns.

"We're gonna figure it out, ok?" I reassure her and rest my hand on her cheek the same way she's doing to me. Her depression is getting worse. "You're gonna get better. Trust me. You'll get through this."

*****

It's mid afternoon, and Nate picked up Julia to talk to her. Apparently, Trisha found her a therapist who can take her in right away. I head home to take care of my dog. I hate this connection between Nate and Julia. This thing that they have. I get it he's trying to help her, but it worries me that no matter how good I try to be for Julia, Nate is always better. She's never gonna get over him and give all her heart to me if she's always around him.

Next thing I know, Julia is pulling up to my house in one of Nate Hollan's fucking cars. Is he kidding me right now??

"He bought you a car???" I sit in the passenger seat and look around the interior. He got her a brand-new SUV.

"I know. Ridiculous. I tried to tell him no. He insisted."

"And you told him we were together..." I glare at her. "Julia, people don't just 'buy' people a new car like this. Is Nate trying to win you over because he can do this shit, and I can't??"

She doesn't want to hear it. She pulls me out of the car, making me stand up and takes both my hands. Julia knows how defeated I feel right now.

"No. I don't think that's it at all. You know I don't care about money like that."

"And you know I can't give you stuff like this." I frown. "I can't live up to Nate Hollan standards. I could work five jobs and still not make what -"

"Hey. Stop. I don't want you to. Do you hear yourself right now? Look at me. The morning of Nate's heart attack, he found me in the hotel gym. I was having this...I don't know...this breakdown while on the treadmill." Julia never told me this and now has my full attention.

"He was coming to plead his case. To tell me he wanted me to choose him. I don't know what happened in his head or what he was thinking, but later that morning, something changed his mind. He was done chasing after me. He was giving me up. James, Nate was telling me to pick you. He told me you were the better man for me and that you could take care of me more than he ever could. That's when you knocked on the door, and I told you guys to figure it out for me because the mixed signals were driving me insane. The day I stormed out of the hotel room. You remember that, right?"

"Of course."

"James." She pulls my face down for a quick kiss. "I want to be with you. I'm with YOU."

"Ya. Living in a hotel room he paid for and driving a car he bought for you." I state the facts.

"The hotel room is fine. I actually don't mind it. I'm used to it and have everything I need there. Plus, I don't have a job yet. I have no other option right now."

"So, move in with me. Stay with me." I offer.

"James..."

"Julia."

"No. I'm not moving in with you. Anyways, if I do that, I don't get to hang out with you every night. I don't mind being there. I feel safe knowing you are right downstairs."

She makes a good argument. I want to see her as much as possible. I can be with her all day AND night if I want. If she forfeits the room, I will barely get to see her with the way my work shifts are.

"Fine. But no more crazy gifts like this. It's weird."

"Not in his world. He isn't like us. He'll never have to worry about money. He's living on a completely different planet." Julia leans up against her new SUV, thanks to friggen Hollan.

"And you would know he doesn't worry about money how?" I rest my hands on her hips and lean in to her casually while we talk. "Celebrities overspend and go bankrupt all the time, babe."

"Google his Net Worth. Go ahead."

"I'm not looking up the guy's damn Net Worth, Julia."

Julia huffs and reaches in the back pocket of her jeans and pull out her phone.

"It's public information for celebrities." She scrolls through her phone and then sticks it in my face.

Holy Fucking Shit. Nate Hollan is worth...... millions and millions of dollars. He will never have to worry about money for his entire life. Ever. I'm not a jealous man but today, Jealousy fills my head looking at these numbers. I can't wrap my brain around it.

"Jesus Christ." I peer down at her. "Tell me again why you chose me when you could live that life?"

Julia puts her hand on my chest. "Because I could give two shits what someone's financial status is."

"Take the damn car. It's nothing to him." I laugh sarcastically and walk back to my house.

*****

*Trisha*

"You bought her a car??" Unbelievable and absurd! What the hell is Nate thinking right now!!??!!

"Just like I bought you a car when you started working for me." He sits on his couch, letting me check his blood pressure. We both watch the numbers on the new digital machine I got off amazon.

"Yeah. I call that a company vehicle so I can drive around doing all your shit. That's what that is. She just told you she's with James. You could have said nothing and just used that moment to take her insurance card and go. You could have changed your mind, ya know."

"I want her to have the car regardless of who she's with, Trish. Don't you get it? I'm always going to love her. Just like I'm always going to love Macy. Just like I'm always going to love you even though you're a pain in my ass. It doesn't mean I'm not able to move on. It means I will always care for Julia and make sure she is ok. She's done nothing wrong. I TOLD her to choose James not long ago."

"You what??" I furrow my brows at him. He's losing his fucking mind.

"Before she even made the decision to go home, I told her to be with him."

"Why the hell would you do that if you love her so much??"

"Trish. I'm not an idiot. We both know he's the better man for Julia. I'm just as unstable as she is. I can't be the one she can lean on when I can't even figure out my own shit. I may have a steady income, but money can't buy love. Money means absolutely nothing to her."

"I'm the one who told her to come back with me. I'm the one who said I'd help her get back on her feet, kick her habit, and get healthy. Shit I couldn't do it for Cara, I'm not gonna give up on Julia. The least I can do is help her when she needs it. And she needs a car, Trisha."

"So that's what this is.... you can't fix Cara, so you're determined to fix Julia."

"Maybe. Who cares what it is?"

"You're setting yourself up for disaster. It's hard to watch, Nate."

"So don't watch."

*****

*James*

Apparently, things with the counselor didn't go well for Julia this afternoon.

"What happened?" I stand outside Julia's hotel room. She wants nothing to do with either of us and has now completely shut down. The only thing she wants is to go to bed and pull the covers over this awful day.

I lean against the wall, watching Hollan pace back and forth. We whisper so Julia doesn't hear us.

"It was so bad. A huge mistake." He pinches in between his eyes at the bridge of his nose.

"Why though? Was the counselor not getting anything out of her?"

"The opposite. This lady was getting EVERYTHING out of her." He stops pacing. "James, do you know about her childhood?"

What the hell is he talking about??

"Her childhood? What about it?"

" Maybe I shouldn't be the one telling you. It backfired on me when I told you about Boston." Nate says. He can't friggen say this and then not tell me.

"Nate, what about her childhood?"

"Did you know her dad died when she was 12? She was put in foster care. She was sexually assaulted from one of her foster parents."

All the color drains from my face and I suddenly feel like I'm gonna puke.

"Fuck, this was such a bad idea." Nate resumes his pacing. I slide down the wall to sit on the ground with my legs bent and elbows resting on my knees. I wipe my face and run my fingers through my hair before finally coming back to reality.

"It sounds like the lady got into too much. You knew Julia can't handle shit. Why would you bring her to this counselor? She's not ready to deal with all that yet." I glare at him. This whole thing was a huge mistake.

"I didn't know this was gonna happen, mate. I didn't know anything about Julia's past or that it would come out today. We went for help with her addiction and for her bad dreams."

"Well, I can tell ya one thing. Now she's gonna have bad dreams about her childhood too. This lady wasn't the right choice."

"I'm well aware now."

I get a notification on my phone. Fuck. Paul.

"Shit, I'm supposed to be downstairs. Paul is coming soon. She can't be left alone. I'm not working tonight but I gotta do this thing for Paul."

"Go. I'll stay. I'll make sure she's fine until you are done."

My mind is running a mile a minute now. I can't believe this. Poor Julia. Why did I let Nate bring her to that counselor? I should have her up with mine. This is ridiculous and only going to make everything worse!

I never should have trusted him.

It took me an hour and a half thanks to Paul having a few different high maintenance celebrities in need of the 4th floor. Very picky high maintenance celebrities.

By the time I go up to Julia's room, things have taken a turn for the worse. Nate tells me Julia took more of those damn pills and once again I feel like I'm gonna throw up from hearing this. Things are spiraling out of control. Julia was supposed to come back here so we could help her, but she's getting worse by the minute.

"What the hell was I supposed to do, pump her stomach?? The damage was done." Nate explains why he's fucking sleeping next to her with her head on his friggen chest. He dosed off as well and this is what I get to come in to see. Them too laying together on the bed. All I can do is glare at Hollan. God, I can't stand him lately.

"Nothing happened if that's what you're thinking. At all. Nothing happened at all." Nate moves Julia so she's not laying on him and sits up.

"Well at least you were able to find out how many she took. And you're sure she said she's taken three before?" I walk over to Julia and brush her hair out of her face while I talk.

"She's definitely taken three before. It was like she knew what she was doing this time. She knew the exact dose to knock her out. Hopefully it's just for a little while and not a twenty-four-hour event. I already ordered food for the room and have Gatorade in the fridge. She's gonna need lots of fluids when she wakes up. She's gonna have a bad headache. She may throw up the meds. Let her. It's a good thing. It means her body didn't absorb it all." Nate gets out of her bed. He can tell I want him gone. Like five minutes ago gone. "Also, she's not gonna be able to walk. Don't let her."

"What do you mean??" I look at him. What the hell is he talking about now??

"The minute she stands up she's gonna pass out." I inform him.

"What??" My eyes widen at this news.

"James, it happens every time. She's gonna be too dehydrated and pass out. If she needs to use the bathroom, you're gonna have to carry her and help her, but don't let her try to do it herself. If you need anything call me. For now, enjoy the silence. When she wakes up, she's gonna be an emotional mess. Her mood swings are gonna be full force. Just go with it. Happens every time. Just trying to prepare you a little for what you're in for."

I nod and watch Hollan leave the room. It's gonna be a long night.

*****

It's middle of the night and I feel Julia crying in my arms. I fell asleep holding her against me but she's awake now. Nate warned me one of the first things that happens is the tears.

"Babe, you ok?" I whisper and rest my chin on her and kiss her ear.

"Yeah. Go back to sleep." Julia replies. She's not ok. Not at all

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Nope."

I hold her tighter now that I'm fully awake. All I want to do is take whatever shit is going on in her head away, so she is at peace with life. She is far from at peace with anything right now.

"You know I love you, right? I'd do anything for you." I remind her and kiss her neck. I keep kissing her until I feel her start to relax and melt into me more. "If I had all the money in the world I'd take us far away, to another country or something. Well, us and Maggie of course."

"Of course." She holds on to my arm that's wrapped around her body.

"Maybe I can pick up some extra shifts and save up for a little vacation with you or something. Would you like that?"

She turns around so we are facing each other, trying to see me in the dark room.

"You already work too much. Save your money. I know it goes to help your family." She kisses me in the dark but misses a little and her lips hit the corner of my mouth. I smile a little feeling her lips against me.

"I'd do anything to make you happy."

"I know you would, James." She kisses the corner of my mouth again and again and I kiss her back a little. Quick little pecks turn into more and our lips linger against each other longer and longer each time. It doesn't take more than a minute for that familiar twinge to build up in us both. I rest my hand on her neck to pull her in closer and passionately kiss her. I feel her pull my hips against her, so I slowly roll on top of her without breaking our kiss.

I'm so used to us being rougher and fast with moving things along but tonight everything is in slow motion. Every piece of clothing is removed slowly. Every touch is gentle. Every kiss to Julia's skin is soft. Even when I line myself up, I purposely don't slam into her. Instead, I push in slowly and let her adjust before rocking my hips. The build up is intense but I move slowly and keep my head over her shoulder. This isn't rushed. This isn't just sex. I want to make love to her.

I can tell even by the slower pace Julia is gonna orgasm soon. And she does, even with me being so gentle with her. There's no screaming or swearing or loud moaning. Just our breath panting as I move in and out of her. I feel her hands rub up and down my back and I twitch inside her. We're both getting close. I can feel it. It's going to happen at the same exact time for us and that's rare for anyone.

My slow rocking in and out of her brings her to orgasm. God, she feels amazing, and I love feeling every single part of her body against mine. Her breath hitches and she's getting close again. We both move a little faster now. We both pant a little quicker. I inhale sharply and release into her right as she has another orgasm. Her body shakes under me, and we both let out a little moan as we ride it out.

I kiss her lips while still rocking in to her slowly, holding on to as much of the sensation as I can before it dies down. I've never felt so close to someone.

I've never felt so in love.