*James*

I get a good 4-mile walk in with Trisha and tire Maggie out before heading home to shower. I've now texted Julia twice, and she has yet to answer me. Guess we are playing THIS game now. I decided to just head over there instead of waiting for her to get back to me. Paul is the one to buzz me in, and the apartment feels.... tense. I don't know what I've walked into, but something's up.

Paul says nothing but leads me into the bedroom where I see Julia holding Nate to stop the shakes he's experiencing. I stand in the doorway, confused.

"What's going on? Is he ok??"

"What the fuck is Gallo doing here?" Nate looks away, embarrassed by the trembling state he's in.

"I'll fill him in. Let's talk in private." Jonah signals me to go in the other room and I follow him to the living room. 

He tells me about Julia stealing four Ativan pills and getting high.

He tells me about how he could lose his job due to the miscount.

He tells me how Nate is taking the heat for Julia and going without meds when he is in the worst stages of his detox.

Jonah tells me everything.

Five minutes go by before I head back into the room. All the color has drained from my face and I am shocked to hear what Julia has done and how Nate is sacrificing to cover for it.

 "I didn't mean for any of this to happen!" Julia looks up at me pathetically. I can't deal with her right now. This is all too much. A grown man is in physical agony because she was selfish and wanted to get high. I furrow my brows at her and go right to Nate.

"Hey man, how can I help?" I look down at Nate.

"You can go to Sullivan's and get me a fucking bottle of whiskey..."

"Besides that...." I grab the extra blanket folded on the recliner and puts it on Nate, tucking it in tight to help.

"I have a weighted blanket at home. Think that will help?" I look over to Jonah.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea. The pressure may help alleviate some of his tremors and provide warmth." The nurse nods at me for coming up with solutions quickly.

"I'll be back in ten minutes." I rush out to head back home and it really does only take ten minutes before I'm back with my big grey weighted blanket and it worked. Jonah put it over Nate and he ended up getting some relief and falling asleep. I head back to the living room and sit one end of the sectional couch. Julia comes over a few minutes later and sits on the other end, keeping her eyes lowered to the ground.

Her eyes stare at one spot on the carpet while Jonah takes each gauze pad off her arms and does what needs to be done.

Everyone remains quiet.

 With her focus still on the floor, Julia's face contorts and tears rapidly fall and hit the ground. Her body shakes but she stays silent and lets the nurse cover her self inflicted gashes.

Jonah notices the silent breakdown and looks to over to me to see if I notice.

"Hey. You made a mistake." Jonah begins his speech, but she keeps her eyes on the carpet. "You're a drug addict. You're gonna slip up and make mistakes."

She cries harder, this time accidentally letting out a slight whimper trying to hold everything in.

"Now you need to put it behind you and move on. Start over and do what's right." He finishes the last bandage and sits up. "What's right is go back to the hospital and get admitted." Jonah says dryly.

Julia nods.

It doesn't register what Jonah said at first and when it does, it hits me like a ton of bricks.

"What?! No. She can't do that..." I look up at the nurse.

"James. She needs to do this. She's not gonna get better if she doesn't follow the basic requirements and steps. In the hospital they will have all the medicine to try so they can tweak things and see what works best for her. Doing this whole trial and error thing here is not going to work. No one can handle the outbursts. She needs to be monitored better than what I can do."

"This is the last thing Nate wants! You see how hard he's trying to keep this together. He's putting his body through hell so she can stay here." I stand up and starts pacing.

"That's why we need her to go while he's asleep. He will freak out either way but it will be easier if she's already gone."

I stop pacing and glare at Julia. She's not even fighting for herself! She's giving up completely!

"Julia say something! What do you want us to do?" I plead.

"Take me to the hospital." The words come out with no emotion even though her eyes are streaming tears. She finally looks up at me and nods. "It's the right thing to do."

I run my hands through my hair in frustration. She can't be serious right now. 

I can't handle this. I feel sick to my stomach.

*****

The car ride to the hospital is silent. I can't believe I'm doing this. Julia keeps her focus outside the passenger window with her knee bouncing nervously as she fidget with her hands. I notice but don't point it out to save her from embarrassment. Tears are streaming down her face and she can feel it when I glance over at her every few minutes. Tears are also streaming down my own face.

I can't believe she's agreeing to this. She's not even putting up a fight.

I NEED her to put up a fight!

We pull up to the main entrance of the hospital.

This is happening.

Julia finally turns to me and can see the pain in my eyes and the tears running down the sides of my face.

"Thanks for giving me a ride here." Julia pauses and looks back at the entrance. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to everyone. I love you." Her voice cracks and her bottom lip quivers through her words. She quickly unbuckles her seatbelt and opens the door, ready to head out in the pouring rain.

I can't do this.

I fucking can't do this!

"FUCK!" I yell out and hit the steering wheel hard, making Julia jump. "Shut the damn door, Julia!!!"

Before she even has a second to process it I'm driving and she's scrambling to reach the handle to shut the door.

"What are you doing?!" She cries out while I drive away from the main entrance of the hospital.

"I can't do this...."I keep my eyes on the road. "Fuck! I can't do this!"

"I have to go in, James!!" She shrieks. "I've made a huge mistake!!"

"People make mistakes, Julia."

"Everyone expects me to be here! James, turn around. You don't know what you're doing!" Her eyes dart from me to the road, but I don't listen. I drive away from the hospital still crying .

"Jonah can't take care of me. He already said I'm too much. Just like everyone else. I'm too much to handle."

I keep driving.

"Are you listening to me?? James..."

"Julia."

"I'm supposed to check in! Jonah's expecting my name to show up in the hospital portal!"

Five minutes of silence go by while I continue to drive further and further away.

"Where are we going?" She asks nervously before realizing what's going on.

We pull up to my house and park in the driveway.

"James...... what are we doing here??"

I say nothing. I turn off the engine. I wipe my face with both hands. I get out of the car into the rain. I walk over to Julia's side of the car and open the door for her but she just stares at me in shock

"Let's go."

"James."

"Julia...."

She shakes her head.

"You're not too much for me. I can take care of you myself. C'mon. I'm getting wet." I grab her hand and pull her out of the SUV. We run to the front door and once on the porch, it finally hits Julia. She cries hard and falls into my arms, letting it all out. I hold her up and hug her so damn tight, never wanting to let her go.

"I'll take care of you." I push her wet hair away and grab her face. I kiss her hard. She buries her face in my chest and I stroke the back of her head to calm her.. "C'mon. Let's go inside. Maggie is waiting for you. Just don't cry, ok, babe? Don't scare her."

*****

*Trisha*

"I'm so sorry. I'm not in the right frame of mind lately. I didn't mean to lead you on. Things have been a little crazy." I sit in the booth of the restaurant across from Dave, trying to explain my way out of how I kissed him. At the same time trying to explain to my heart that it shouldn't have felt as good as it did to kiss him. I choose a busy restaurant for good reason. He can't yell or get out of control with a lot of people around.

"It's ok. Baby listen to me. I get it, ok? This is all..." He pauses. "It's all confusing." He stretches his arms across the table and takes my hands in his. "But tell me you didn't feel something." While still holding on to my hands he slides out of his side of the booth and sits next to me. His eyes never stop gazing in mine. He has this charisma and smooth charm about him that gets me every time. He knows what he's doing. "Tell me you don't remember what it was like."

I frown. "The minute I kissed you I remembered the last time..." My words trail off and I feel a hard lump in my throat. Dave knows exactly what I'm talking about. He furrows his brows and squeezes my hands lightly.

"That wasn't me and you know it. I regret every second of every moment I was drunk and took it out on you. That was my lowest point, Trisha. You KNOW this. You know I would NEVER hurt you. I wasn't of sound mind. Trish...please..." The devastating look in Dave's eyes break me and I have to look away.

"You forced yourself on me. I kept saying no." I say softly while still looking away. "You were supposed to protect me. Instead ...you..."

"I know." He cuts me off and let go of my hands. He drags his hands down his face in frustration and leans back in the booth, now facing forward. "God. I know. I was a monster. I can't take that back. I can't erase it and I'm sorry I hurt you like that."

I shake my head and keep my face looking away, but he gently turns me to look at him and keeps his hands on the sides of my face. "Baby, I'm so sorry." He cries and rests his forehead on mine while closing his eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry."

His lips gently graze mine and I feel the same electricity I felt when he first kissed me. Sober Dave. Not Drunk Dave.

"I'm so sorry." He whispers again and softly brushes his lips against mine again before it becomes a kiss. A kiss I can't seem to ever back away from or resist. My addiction.

I close my eyes and lean forward more, letting him kiss me while tears run down our faces in the middle of a busy restaurant. I part my lips and let his tongue touch mine and the kiss deepens. I gently hold the side of his stubbled cheek and kiss him back.

I fucking kiss him back.

*****