*James*

We spent the evening at my house and I'm now feeling homesick. I miss it here and I can tell Maggie does as well. Nate ordered pizza for dinner and I have to say Julia is doing excellent with eating tonight. I think she feels comfortable here. Not as many people up her ass either. 

I've never hated Nate, but I'm warming up to him a little more. He has done things to take care of me and it's appreciated. I know he's probably doing it to make Julia happy but sometimes he's genuinely nice or helpful even when Julia's not looking. Like if I'm struggling trying to eat and he is the one who notices, he'll quickly help me without drawing attention or making me feel embarrassed. It says a lot about his character. He is much different that I had imagined a few months ago.

As we eat dinner, I can tell Nate can't handle the silence like me and Julia can. We can sit together in silence and enjoy each other's company for hours on end, without saying one word. Well, now more than ever for me. But it's a good thing. We are content with just being near each other. Nate seems antsy and I noticed by living with him, he has to have the TV on. Like he can't handle the quiet. Maybe it messes with his head or something. He's not a very content person as it is. 

 Julia can tell so she turns my Bluetooth speaker on for him and starts playing songs from her Spotify, noticing Nate is a little restless with the quiet house while we eat. I have to laugh when I hear a good portion of her playlist rattle off his songs. She once told me I could sing. That I actually had a good voice. Different from Nate's. Maybe I missed my calling. Too damn late now. I can't even utter a word. Here I go, falling into my self pity again...

"Oh, don't get a big head. You know whoever writes these songs is the one who really makes the song." Julia rolls her eyes and takes another slice of pizza. She's on her third slice. She's comfortable here.  She belongs here.

"Actually, miss know-it-all. I write all my own songs. So take that." Of course you do..

Julia's eyes widen.

"Do you really?"

"Of course I do. Who did you think writes'em??" 

"I don't know, Ed Sheeran? Doesn't he write a lot of songs for others?" Julia shrugs.

"What's so funny?! He does, doesn't he?" Julia takes a sip of her soda.

"Yes, doll. He does. And he's a really good songwriter. But no, I write all my own songs. Kinda how I got the "2023 Singer-Songwriter of the Year" award in December."

Modesty isn't Nate's specialty.

"I don't knoowww!" She answers. "I don't know what awards you have and don't have. I don't pay attention to that shit."

"I know you don't." He kisses her on the top of her head and hands me another slice of pizza. I'm actually eating on my own, which I'm pretty proud of. It takes a lot of concentration, though.

 "That's what I love about you. You don't care about that shit. But yes, I write all my songs myself. From right here." Nate pats his heart sarcastically and winks at Julia.

"Yeah, sure, pal. You wrote Slow Hands from here." She reaches under the table and grabs him. Hello?! Am I not in the room? Did they seriously think I wouldn't notice that stuff? 

"James. Can dogs eat pizza?" Nate looks down at Maggie.

Um. No. Please don't kill my dog, pal. She's all I've got left. I shake my head and get up so I can feed Maggie.

Maggie happily follows me like this routine was never broken, and I crouch down and clumsily pet her while she eats.

Once we are done eating it's time to head out. Part of me is sad to leave. I belong in my house. Julia belongs here with me. But that's not a reality for either of us anymore is it? 

Nate brings some things to the car, leaving me and Julia alone. This is when it hits me. My life will NEVER be the same. One red light. That's all it took. 

That's all it took to ruin my entire life and everything I've ever dreamed of. All that hard work I put into this life, erased from one mistake.

"It was nice hanging out here today, wasn't it?" Julia takes my hand but can tell I'm getting emotional.. "Hey. Look at me."

She pulls my face down to see my eyes. "You're doing really well, James. You'll be living back here before you know it. Until then, we'll come back here often to hang out. Ok? I'm gonna take care of you and make sure you get better." I feel so sad for a second while I look around my  home and then back down at her.

"I'm not giving up." She says softly, and it's all I needed to hear. I nod and pull her in to hug her. We stay like this for a good amount of time before Nate comes back into the house.

"You guys all set?" Nate studies us from the doorway, and Julia reaches up and wipe away my tears. Nate looks at us with empathy. He knows this was a good idea but also knows it would be hard for me to leave so he doesn't question or bring it up. He just pats me on the shoulder and continues on.

*****

*Trisha*

This is NOT how I wanted my weekend to look like, spending Sunday hugging a toilet with Paul rubbing my back. I'm relieved the bodyguard can handle morning sickness because  things just got real for me with being pregnant. I'm extremely surprised Paul is helping me. I would have imagined him to go off to his room and not be a part of this shit show. It's certainly not in his job description. I feel like he actually cares lately since we have been spending so much time together.

"I can't take this anymore. I'm not good with this shit! Everyone knows that about me." I sit back and lean on Paul's chest while he holds a wet cloth to my forehead for me. "This is how I die isn't it?"

"You're not dying."

"Yep. I am. Oh Christ.." I lean forward and get sick again, then lean back again. We've been doing this most of the morning now.

"Do you want me to take you to the ER? They can give you an IV at least and-"

"NO!" I cut Paul off. "No. I am so done seeing hospitals for awhile. I'm fine. I just need to get up and take a shower and." I stand up but sway from dehydration, making Paul jump to his feet and grab me. "and I'll be fine."

"You're being stubborn."

"I'm being pregnant." I snap, hating that I'm being needy like this. "I just want to take a shower. I'll feel better after. Can you just...." Shit. Of all people to do this to. Where the hell is Nate when I need him?

"Can you just help me in the shower? Then I'll be fine. You know what, nevermind. I'll do it myself." I hold on to the counter and drop my head, feeling awful that I am even putting Paul in this situation. I brush my teeth and rinse my mouth with the minty mouthwash while waiting for an answer.

"Trisha... you can't do it yourself. Why don't you go back to bed?" The bodyguard looks at me through the mirror.

"Because I need a FUCKING SHOWER!" I burst out and then drop my head and cry. "Sorry.. Where's Nate? Can you try calling him?"

"He's with Julia and James. The nurses are away this weekend, remember? He can't leave Julia alone right now." Paul inhales sharply, thinking about his options. He turns away from me and scratches the back of his head in a nervous way. 

He's never seen me naked. Not completely at least. There was that one time he got a good view of my boobs at Nate's, but that was it. I'm putting him in a bad position, but I really need a shower now and need someone hold me up in case I get dizzy.

Right when I think Paul is gonna take me back to my room and force me to lay down, he turns on the shower.

"Fine." He huffs, giving in to me. "Lets make this quick."

"Thaaannkkk you." I sigh. 

As reluctant as Paul is, he comes back over to me and helps me take my  clothes off. I don't make eye contact with him because I don't want to know if he's looking at my body or not. Right now, I don't care. I just really need to shower this puke off me. He quickly throws everything into my hamper.

My apartment isn't nearly as fancy as Nate's, I have a normal shower, not some big extravagant one, so there's not a ton of room. Paul remains outside of the shower and holds on to my arm while I wash my hair and  body. I try to be quick for his sake but the hot water is soothing. While rinsing my hair, I stand under the water and close my eyes for a bit, and Paul lets me.

"Thank you." I say with my eyes still closed and my head tilted back.

"Um-hmm." Paul grunts, not liking this at all. Or maybe liking it but feeling uncomfortable... because his body is reacting the normal healthy way a human body reacts to looking at a naked woman. Obviously I say nothing. I'm just grateful right now for his help and the hot water, and he lets me take my time, seeing that it's helping me.

"Ok. I'm done." I say as I open my eyes and turn to him. He quickly shuts the water off and scrambles to grab me the towel off the rack while still holding on to my arm.

I smirk a little at watching Paul become nervously clumsy which is not like him at all. He throws the towel around me and I hold on to it with one hand and his hand with my other as he helps me out of the shower. He can certainly tell I'm lightheaded but doesn't nag me about it any more.

There was a moment where we both stood in the bathroom, facing each other, just a moment, where Paul's eyes dropped to my lips. I felt this rush of desire run through my body and I'm not used to feeling that for Paul. I've always just looked at him as my bodyguard. That's it. It's the first time I've really felt pure tension between us, like he was contemplating kissing me in his head and I wonder what my reaction would be if he did kiss me. Would I kiss him back? Probably. He's a good looking man. He sometimes has a personality of a grumpy 80 year old but I think that's  him trying to disengage with people so there's no attachment. He's slowly letting that fade.

We both stare at each other's lips for just a moment but it felt like hours. Then, the moment passed.

"Lets go." Paul breaks the silence and grumbles. I nod and he helps me to my bed, throwing a random t-shirt and the first pair of underwear he finds in my drawer at me without looking. I quickly get dressed and lay in bed.

So that's that. Paul has now seen me completely naked.

*****

*James*

Halfway home I catch myself daydreaming a little. First thinking of what it would be like if Julia moved into my house and took care of me. Would it be enough to keep her out of the Avalon? She has a lot going on in that head of hers. I wonder of counseling would even be enough.  She was doing good with me for a bit. She was going to grief therapy with me, she was going to church, she was happy.  We could get back to that.  I can see her being happy with me in my little home, forever. We don't need a ton of money to be happy.

Then I think about what it would be like if...once I've recovered completely...IF I recover completely,  things will die down between us and heat up more between her and Nate. She'd go on tour with him. I'd still be her best friend but she'd be traveling the world, living a completely different life. I would either be back to working at the Marriott or on disability of some sort. And single. I'd have to start all over again and to be honest, I've never enjoyed the dating scene. 

But we also have to factor in, Nate and Trisha are having a baby together. We all know they have been like Julia and I, friends with benefits. Best friends. I wonder if Trisha is going to want to be more to Nate now. If  she is hoping they will be together . I still remember when we would flirt with each other. I'm not sure what it was all about , even our little make out session before the car accident. It's hard to tell because I have a feeling Trisha may have been emotionally wrapped up in Hollan and I know for certain I was and will always be, wrapped up thinking about Julia.

I must have dosed off because when I wake Maggie is licking me trying to wake me up more.

"Hey, you two. C'mon. You're gonna miss it." Julia says as I stretch my arms  and look around  at my surroundings. 

"What are we missing, doll?" Nate says through his yawn.

We're at a beach. Aww. We're at a beach! Julia wants to see the sun rise. That will by far be one of my best memories with Julia. The morning I woke her up early and dragged to her to the ocean to watch the sunrise. She had never truly witnessed one from start to finish. She even cried. Well, ok. That's not surprising. This IS Julia we're talking about.

"Here, put on your hat." Julia gives Nate his hat so he doesn't draw attention to himself and she them opens my door. She leans up and throws her arms around me.

"You remember, right?"

Of course, babe.

"Nate, c'mon." She opens the driver's side door.

"Ok, ok. I'm coming." He says sleepily, not quite awake enough to know what's going on. He throws his hat on and we all head to the beach.

The sand is a bit wet but no one cares. Julia sits down and faces the ocean. Maggie sits right in front of her. Nate comes to, now more awake, deciding down on her left and Julia pulls my hand to sit down as well , on her right. Maggie immediately lays on my lap and I pet her.

I point to show Julia where to look just like last time and we all focus on the small light that comes up from the horizon.

We watch the sun rise completely and once again, I wipe a tear off Julia's face before she even noticed she was crying. 

I look over to Nate and am caught off guard to see his eyes water as well. Julia does the same thing I did to her, wipes away his tears. That is how it has always been hasn't it?  

I'm in love with Julia. 

Julia is in love with Nate.