*****

"Keep her on the Ativan, in fact, up the dose and frequency. Switch from the SSRI to Lithium. It will take a minimum of three weeks for everything to start working so right now, let the sedative keep her calm. Add the antipsychotic medication for her severe agitation. She's going to need to be monitored closely."

*****

2 Hours earlier-

*Trisha*

Paul helps me clean up the mess in the main living area of Nate's apartment. I'm visibly shaken up by what I see but no one is saying a word so I stop asking questions.

Jonah is pacing back and forth in the living room.

"Jonah. What are you doing?" Nate I successfully wheels himself out of the bedroom while pushing  his IV pole at the same time. Everyone has distraught expressions on their faces.

"Hi, Angela, Jonah. Call me when you can." He hangs up his cell phone but continues pacing.

"What did you just do?" Nate looks up at the nurse and his eyes water instantly. "What the hell did you just do!"

The nurse stops his pacing around the living room and looks down at Nate. Both me and Paul continue sweeping up the glass but also listening in to the conversation.

"I don't think I'm right for this job. I'm sorry, Nate. She needs more help than I can give her. I'm gonna see if I can get my shifts back at the hospital. You both will get admitted again with no problems. Probably get to share a room too." 

Holy Shit. He's giving up on them?

"JONAH NO! PLEASE!" The desperation in Nate's voice makes everyone freeze and stare at him.

"Nate.. look at her! Look at your house, your bathroom. She's out of control. She's so fortunate she only has minor cuts and a few stitches. It could have been much worse...but look at this place!"

"She JUST started the new med. You said it takes awhile. Weeks, you said. You're not even giving her a chance to let it work! Please Jonah, don't do this. You're the only one I fucking trust in that whole hospital. Please!" 

Jonah sits down and puts his head in his hands in an overwhelmed state.

"She needs more than just going to the Avalon. Nate, she needs to be where your sister is. Julia needs to be in a lock down facility." He says without lifting his head.

Nate starts crying and I drop the dustpan and go to him, leaving Paul to clean up the rest.

"No, she doesn't! You don't know the shit she's been through-"

"C'mon Nate. Lets get you in the other room to rest. You're heart can't handle this stress." I glare at Jonah and help Nate save face by wheeling him back into the bedroom. I try not to look at the bathroom that looks like a murder scene as I passes by it.

"Oh my God..." I stop in my tracks when I see Julia, laying on her side, now sleeping from the drugs, curled up as much as she can all bandaged up. "What did she do.... Nate...did she do all that to herself? By herself?"

"Can you please help me in to bed?"

I don't ask about it. I help Nate into his bed, making sure the IV line doesn't get tangled, and fixes his pillows for him. I sit on his bed and push his hair away from his forehead, beginning to cry myself for him.

"How can I help?"  I snap myself out of it quickly and try to pull myself together fast. "What do you need me to do?"

"I need to keep Jonah here. I can't get admitted, Trish. Look what it's done. The whole fucking world knows Julia is a mess. Trish, I wasn't there when Cara needed me. She didn't get the help she deserved. I can't be the one to let that happen again. Not with Julia. I'm a fucking idiot. It's my fault she spiraled out of control the way she did."

"What do you mean? How would YOU make her do all that?? You're not making any sense."

"James caught us kissing. I took advantage of her. Julia's not in the right frame of mind and I fucking kissed her anyways. Listen to me. It killed her to do anything to hurt him. When she saw his face... when he left... " Nate looks at Julia sleeping. "He was the only good thing she had left." He pauses.

"Trisha.... This is between you and me. I'm so fucking serious right now." He waits for me to nod, understanding what he means and I do.

"Without James, Julia has nothing left to live for. Do you get what I'm saying? Everything she's loved has been taken away. She won't find a reason to live. I've witnessed it myself first hand. In Boston."

My eyes widen and jaw drops a little. "You mean..."

Oh my God...

"Please, help me help her." Nate cuts me off before I can say anything further. "We need Jonah to stay. We need James to come back. Julia needs to somehow convince these doctors she doesn't need to be with Cara." He takes my hands and put them on his chest. "My heart won't be able to handle it."

I keep my hands on his heart and nod. "I'll see what I can do."

*****

*James*

Paul buzzes me in, and I walk out of the elevator. What the hell happened here? It looks like a warzone. Trisha is busy talking to Jonah the nurse and Paul nods that Julia is in the bedroom. With fucking Nate.

I walk over a bunch of broken shit and head down the hall. That's when I see the guest bathroom. It's destroyed and there's broken glass...and blood...

I stare at the scene for over  30 seconds before I pull myself out of my trance and continue down the hall. I stand in the doorway but only look at Julia. She's the only one I'm concerned about right now. Nate can go jump off a bridge for all I care.

"Gallo, I-"

"No. Don't talk."  I glare at Nate and walk into the room. He knows to stay silent instead of try to fucking apologize right now. I stare at Julia as I walk closer and see both her arms and her knees. She did all that damage? Julia did that??

I look over her and sit on the recliner, combing her hair  away from her sleeping face before kissing her forehead. I rest my hands on my knees and take one of Julia's hands in mine. I close my eyes and drop my head, paying no attention that Nate is in the room and I start to silently pray over Julia. I pray so fucking hard. God needs to hear this plea.  I desperately ask for His healing touch to wash over Julia both physically and emotionally. I pray hard for a good five minutes before lifting my head and kissing her hand. I lay it back on the bed and wipe my swollen eyes.

 Moments later Trisha knocks on the doorframe. She gives me a nod and then turns to Nate.

"You fucking owe me....times a million." She says with a proud smile through her red and watery eyes, letting Nate know she once again, accomplished what she went out there for.

"Incompetent my ass." She says. I don't understand what they are talking about so I just keep my eyes on Julia while they discuss shit.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. The nurse is on the phone with some Angela lady trying to switch meds. But yes, he's gonna stay, you won't get admitted, she won't go to a lock down facility."

"Lock down facility..." Reality of the situation hits me like a freight train and the color drains from my face.

"You're welcome." She then points back and forth to both of us. "You two...you guys need to figure your shit out with her and whatever this is. I'm done cleaning up everyone's messes. And someone else can clean up that bathroom. Trisha Banks doesn't do blood." With that she pivots and leaves the room before either of us have a chance to say a word.

"James, can I talk now?" Nate asks.

"You know what? I answer calmly. "No." I pause, still being completely calm but blunt. Nate listens intently.

"You made everything worse. I was getting her better." 

"I was helping her get back on her feet. Hell, I was the one who knew how to take care of her during her nightmares. She was starting to improve. I was the one to get her into grief therapy. I was the one to get her to go to church. She was starting to actually live."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea." 

"God, I was actually jealous of you, Nate. You can give Julia the world. You can give her all the things I will never be able to give her. I was envious when I first saw this place."

I look around. "Now, I hate it here. But, you're right. You have no idea. About anything. You have no idea what I go through every day. You know nothing about me. You sit up here in your own damn castle with all the money in the world while I bust my ass and deal with shit. And I'm a fucking hard worker. I put my all into helping her. I fixed myself. I was fixing her. Then you go and undo it all by taking what you want when you want, regardless of how it affects everyone around you. Now look at her." I look down at Julia.

"You need to focus on taking care of yourself and let me take care of her." I don't give Nate an opportunity to speak. I kiss Julia's cheek and leave the room.

*****

*Trisha*

I give in and help Paul clean the bathroom while Nate sits in a wheelchair in the living room with James and Jonah. I get bits and pieces of what happened today and am surprised James is till here. Well, no. I guess I'm not. James a good guy. He cares for Julia.

What I've heard is they had to give Julia a lot of Ativan to calm her down so now she's back to starting all over with the detox process. Thanks to me talking Jonah into staying, she won't have to get admitted into a facility. I didn't fucking do it for her. I did it for Nate....and James. Both who now sport swollen red eyes from crying and are exhausted all from her friggen meltdown.

Jonah is on the phone with a doctor and has her on speaker phone so everyone can be in on the call. I have a feeling that probably isn't legal but I say nothing. Both me and Paul are kneeling on the ground sweeping up glass in the bathroom. Both of us freeze and stare a each other while trying to hear the conversation.

"Keep her on the Ativan, in fact, up the dose and frequency. Switch from the SSRI to Lithium. It will take a minimum of three weeks for everything to start working so right now, let the sedative keep her calm. Add the antipsychotic medication for her severe agitation. She's going to need to be monitored closely." The doctor pauses. "We need to focus on her mental state right now. She's under your round the clock medical care, so she won't have a chance to to abuse anything. We will have to start the detox process all over again once she is more mentally stable. And you really don't think she should be in state care?"

"Angela, We need to give the medicine a chance to work. That takes at LEAST three weeks to even START to show signs of improvement. If it's even the right medication. You know very well it takes multiple tries to find the right meds and right doses for something like this. She's never been treated in her entire life. We can't just send her to a facility without exhausting the basic steps first like we would with any other newly diagnosed patient."

"Well, Jonah. I hope you packed your bags and they are paying you well because you may be there for quite some time if you are taking over their health care. I will book the sleep specialist and nutritionist for next week and will hold off my evaluation due to this setback. We'll touch base in two weeks unless you need me sooner."

And just like that...she's off the call.

"Guest room is all yours for however long you need to be here. You know I will pay you for your services." Nate nods to the guest bedroom.

"To be honest, Nate. I'm still on the fence with all this. You didn't see the rage Julia showed in her fit. Not like Paul and I did. If it happens again, I don't know if I'd physically be able to restrain her or prevent her from hurting anyone in her way when she is in the middle of an episode."

"She's a hundred pounds..."  Nate says.

"Doesn't matter. You saw the damage she did to your home. When a person goes into that state mentally, their adrenaline takes over. She could have picked up a damn car and thrown it if she really wanted to." Jonah shakes his head. still not convinced to stay here for an extended period of time.

"Paul? You up for the challenge? Stay here for awhile? Keep an eye on her and help if we need it?" Nate turns his head back to Paul who is now sweeping up the last of the shards of mirror off the bathroom floor. He looks up and enters the conversation.

"For the right price, boss. But I still have the 4th floor to manage." Paul answers.  I know a little bit bout the 4th floor but choose to not get fully involved. The less I know the better.

I watch Nate look to Paul for help to keep Julia and everyone here safe and in return Paul looks to James for help managing the 4th floor when needed.

"Like he said....for the right price.." James raises an eyebrow.

Good job, James. I knew he had it in him! I look down and smile a little at that.

Nate huffs "Fine..."

Oh please. He's got all the money in the world. He can afford to help James out if James is gonna help him out. I have a feeling James could use a few extra bucks.

I stop listening to the conversation and  sit on the ledge of the tub to make a few phone calls. Within minutes I've accomplished what I needed.

"The cleaning company and maintenance are scheduled to come here the day after tomorrow at 2 pm." I announce while Trisha announces while walking out of the bathroom staring down at my  phone. "You'll have a new mirror installed, door fixed and the cleaners will make sure no glass was left behind. You need to make sure Julia is in your room with the door closed, unless you want her staying here advertised on TMZ though."

"Thanks Trish."

*****

*James*

I have a feeling Trisha has her work cut out for her for a little while. I know she has been doing a lot of behind the scenes shit for Nate, so he isn't overly stressed out. Anything to do with Nate's producer, band, media etc. is now being handled by Trisha.

She has gone home for the rest of the night and I told her to text me later.

Paul has moved the pull-out couch out of the spare room that will be Jonah's living quarters and pushed it into Nate's office.

"I need to go home and pack a bag. Julia should stay sleeping for a little while longer and when she does wake up, she most likely won't be agitated to the point of getting physical. If anything, she will be an emotional disaster and be in her guilt phase. Just keep her as calm as possible and let her cry." Jonah leaves me stuck with Hollan alone in his room while  wait for Julia to wake up.

I REALLY hate it here.

"Trisha can go over payment with you tomorrow. She handles all my finances."  Nate says while laying on the bed, flipping through the channels of his tv. It's around 6 pm and most stations are reporting the news but he finds a soccer game and settles on that.

I sit on the recliner texting my sisters in the group chat to keep me busy. I don't respond to Nate. Mom isn't having a great day and the texts are all updating me on what's going on. She's starting to get worse pretty fast. This day can not end soon enough.

"Gallo, I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry, mate. I fucked up. But I need us to pull it together and be on the same page so we can get her better."

A good minute goes before I speak to Hollan.

"Yeah, you fucked up all right. But thank you. I have family I need to take care of financially. The money will go to them." I don't look away from my phone but finally put it own on the nightstand and pinch the tension building at the bridge of my nose.

"You good?" Nate has the nerve to ask. But I give in and answer.

"I just have a sick mom. She's having just as good of a day as Julia is." I lift my head and focus on the tv, still refraining from looking at Hollan. Eventually I notice he falls asleep and good timing....

Julia opens her eyes, and I quickly sit up.

"Hey." I say softly.

"You're here." Her words barely come out and when they do, her voice is raspy.

I nod.

"Why?" She asks, letting the tears roll down. "I fucked up."

"It happens. I'm not leaving, Julia." I try to break the smallest curve of my mouth to let her know things are ok. She lifts up her arms and inspects them.

"Look what I've done..." She says with absolutely no emotion left to her words.

"You should see the other guy." I smirk, talking about the bathroom and the destruction Julia left when she tore through Nate's apartment.

"I'm so sorry." She says softly. "I never meant to hurt you. I wasn't thinking clearly. I wasn't thinking at all."

"Sounds like a typical Julia move to me. When you're with him-" I nod to the sleeping man on the other side of the gigantic bed. "You mess with me. When you're with me...You mess with him." I pause.

"What am I gonna do with you, Julia?" I sigh.

"You're gonna stay and still be my best friend. You're gonna forgive me, that's what. Because I really need my 'best friend James' right now." Julia's voice cracks and her bottom lip quivers as the first real emotion breaks through the numbness.

"Aww, sweetie. Move over..." I get out of the recliner and kick off my sneakers. I gently pull the blankets down, trying not wake Nate, and scoot Julia over so there's enough room for me to lay with her. I lay on my side, mirroring her and my leg rests in between hers. I pull her leg up to bed across my hip, pulling Julia in close to my chest. I make sure not to hurt her or touch the white gauze covering her arms. I lean my chin on the top of her head and wrap my arms around her body, covering us both with the blanket.

"I should be in a mental hospital right now." Julia says into my chest.

"Tell me about it." I laugh a little giving the comic relief this room needs. "If it makes you feel any better, so doesn't my mom. You guys could be roommates." I sigh. "She had a rough day too. She went as far as thinking our mail lady was my ex-girlfriend and tried to invite her in. She was pretty persistent. Must be a full moon or something. All the crazies are coming out."

"Your mom really likes Lindsay, doesn't she?"

"Yeah."

"What happened?" Julia talks but closes her eyes, still feeling the effects of the anxiety medication.

"We were just better off friends. We're too different. Nothing dramatic happened or some fall out. We became more of roommates after a while and started finding others more interesting to sleep with." I shrug.

"I hope you never get bored with me and find someone else more interesting."

"Julia...no one can get bored with you." I laugh. "You keep EVERYONE on their toes."

"James..."

"Julia." I tuck my chin in to look down t Julia and kiss the top of her head. She doesn't say anything for a minute or so and I give her the time she needs.

"I'm tired of life. I'm tired of being me." The hard lump forms in my throat, so painful it brings more tears to my eyes. "I'm so tired of being me." She cries.

 I try so damn hard to not cry myself, but I can't help it. I know Julia can feel my body start shaking as silently sob, sniffing every few seconds while hiding my face on the top of her head so she can't see me. I hold her tighter with one arm while wiping my eyes with the other.

Hearing Julia confess this scares the shit out of me. She doesn't want to live.

"I know, sweetie." My voice cracks while trying to hold in my emotion but my body shakes like it can't handle holding it in for much longer.

"I'm so tired."