*Trisha*

Apparently, Julia didn't realize The Avalon was an everyday thing, so she had one of her fits while there. She calmed down, and Nate grabbed them a pizza and called it a night. But they are doing anything but sleeping in there, and we can all hear the bed banging against the wall.

"Jesus Christ, do they ever stop?" I cover my ears and squint my eyes shut while sitting at the kitchen island with Paul.  Jonah is making dinner tonight. Grilling out on the balcony, probably to get away from hearing anything.

Right when we think Nate and Julia are done, the repetitive banging starts again. They were just switching off. Paul drops his head and shakes it.

"I can't take it anymore. C'mon, Paul. Let's go visit James." I hop off the stool, but Paul doesn't budge.

"Dinner..." He says in a caveman-ish way.

"I'll buy you and James dinner, ok?" I conn the bodyguard into taking me to the Marriott using food.  I  buy a bunch of Chinese food, and we head in with the two big brown paper bags. There's a family at the front desk, so when James makes eye contact with me, I nod and head straight for the lounge area where there are tables. He can still see us from where he is, and Paul is happy because I bought him a six pack of beer, and the tv hung on the wall is showing a soccer game. We can't really drink in front of Nate yet.  So this was a treat for all of us. Plus, I get to get out of that house and do it safely with Paul by my side.

I notice there is another person behind the front desk. I've seen her before. An older woman who I think is named Cheryl. It must be a busy evening to have multiple people staffed. 

James finishes with the family but then grabs a basket of folded pool towels before coming towards us.

"Sorry guys, it was so busy earlier. A team of baseball kids and their crazy mothers just checked out. I gotta run these down to the pool, and then I should be good to take a short break." James says while walking by, disappearing down the hall.

I started setting up all the Chinese take- out boxes and made a plate for the lady at the front desk, who seemed very grateful for dinner. I guess they WERE busy today.  For once, I bet James is glad he takes the overnight shift, barely dealing with people.

"Want me to make you a plate too, Paulie?"

"Sure." Paul nods without looking away from the tv. I laugh and throw a bunch of everything on his plate and hand it to him.

"You're so easy to please. You know that?"

Paul gives me a nod of thanks and starts eating while watching the soccer match. James passes us and heads back to the front desk.

"Think I can take a short break, Cheryl? Just to eat over there?" I hear him say.

"Of course. You've been here all day. You deserve it. Take as long as you need while it's quiet. I'm not gonna head out till around nine."

All day? James has been here all day and now gonna pull an all-nighter? I quickly make a plate for him and set it across from me for while he sits down. I put a beer next to him but then start to second guess myself. He probably can't drink on the job, so I put it in between us to make it look like mine.

James comes over and plops down across from me. He already looks a little tired.

"You're a godsend, you know that??" He starts shoveling food into his mouth like he hasn't eaten all day. He probably hasn't.

"What time did you come to work today?" I say before piling food on to my own plate.

"I got called in at noon. We didn't know the tournament was happening today. The families came in last night and just left a little while ago. I never want to see another little league team in my life."

"So you haven't slept yet?" I sound like a concerned mom, but I am concerned. James is always taking care of everyone else. Who the hell is taking care of James? 

"Not yet."

"Not yet...and you're gonna work till tomorrow morning? How are you gonna do that, James."

"I don't have much of a choice. It's ok. I get free coffee and kinda need the money."

*****

*James*

I hate admitting to Trisha that I 'kinda need the money' because it's not like I'm spending it on concerts or fancy dinners. I'm spending it on mom's prescriptions and her bills. We all are. And yes, I'm so damn tired. But thinking about it all night isn't going to help. I just gotta push through it, knowing I can sleep tomorrow.

 I continue eating fairly quickly in case we get another surge of people and notice Trisha gave Cheryl a big heaping plate of Chinese food as well, which was really nice of her to do. Some people don't realize we don't get much of a break when it's busy here. And being in L.A. it CAN get busy. That's why I like my shift. It's usually dead. Dead enough to have sex with someone in the storage room without getting caught.

"James. You can't do this. If you need money I can give you money. I know it's going to your family." Trisha keeps her eyes down at her plate while eating and talking.

"Stop. I'm not taking your money, Banks. Even if that's your last name, you're not my bank. I always figure out a way. Look, here's one way I saved money. You just fed me dinner and I didn't have to pay." I look back to make sure Cheryl isn't looking and take a swig of Trisha's beer. "Dinner AND drinks," I whisper, and she smirks.

"You're crazy, you know that?"

"Maybe. But I think you like a little crazy." I flirt.

"Hey man, I'm just happy to get out of that house tonight. I will stay here all night if I need to and keep you awake."

"Please don't." Paul utters from the other table while watching the game. He looks just as tired as I do.

"Why? What's going on? Is Julia fine?" I ask, impatiently waiting for Trisha to swallow her food.

"She's fine. Now. Hell, she's more than fine." Trisha responds, which makes me confused, and Paul laughs.

"I don't get it." 

"She WASN'T fine. Now she is." Trisha rolls her eyes before continuing. "I guess she didn't realize The Avalon is an everyday thing. Even on the weekends -"

"It is?" I interrupt. "Shit. I didn't know that either."

"Well, she found out at the end of the day and had a meltdown." She wipes her mouth with her napkin and continues on like anything Julia related doesn't phase her. Because it probably doesn't.

"Can you blame her? Not one day off? That seems a little...intense."

"Julia is a little.... intense, James."

" I know, but -"

"Anyways, she had her fit. Then she got over it. And now their fucking each other's brains out in his room and no one wants to hear it anymore." Trisha says nonchalantly.

I sit back, suddenly no longer hungry. That's why Julia probably hasn't texted me back when I asked her how her day was. She's too busy with Hollan.

"Oh please," Trisha gives me a look. "Keep eating."

Instead, I take the beer to finish and lean back into the booth a little, watching Trisha eat.

"You really coulda left that part out, ya know." I look down and start peeling the label on the beer bottle.

"And you really need to get over her." She drops her plastic fork on her plate and steals the beer back, taking a big sip before handing it over. She's lucky I'm not a germaphobe.

"Some people you don't just get over. Apparently, Julia is one of them."

"Apparently." She drops her shoulders and looks at me with sympathetic eyes. "Maybe once you move on it will be easier."

"That's what everyone says. We'll see."  I yawn and push my plate away, then fold my arms on the table and use them as my pillow. I lay my head on my arms and close my eyes for a moment.

"How the hell am I gonna stay awake?" I mumble in my arm. I'm exhausted.

"I can stay and keep you company for awhile if you like. If that's allowed." I feel Trisha sweep my hair off my forehead a few times and I feel the butterflies deep in my stomach from her playing with my hair. But I don't open my eyes. As a matter of fact, I start falling asleep from it.

******

*Trisha*

"James..." I lean in and whisper. "Are you asleep?"

Shit. He is. I take it upon myself to help him. I get up and walk over to the other receptionist, Cheryl, who's cleaning up around the coffee bar.

"Hey, sorry to bother you." I get the woman's attention. "Did you say you were staying here till nine?"

Cheryl turns to face me, then sees James with her head down on his arms at the table, fast asleep.

"Poor kid. He's trying to do too much." She studies him for a moment before her eyes meet mine.

"Do you think he can sleep until nine? If it gets busy again, I can wake him up. He can't go this long without sleeping. It's not healthy." 

Cheryl sighs deeply, then throws the paper towels she was using to clean away. She then walks back to the counter without answering me.

"Just an hour or so. That's all he needs." I plead and watch the woman go to the computer. Is she seriously ignoring me? I follow her to the front desk, but she doesn't make eye contact. She's doing something on the computer and when she notices I'm giving her a rude look she sighs again.

"Here." Cheryl swipes a card through a machine and hands it to me. I turn it around and look at it. It's a key card. "Get him up to bed. Room 204." She says and my eyes widen. "I'll stay till midnight. But that's it. Then I gotta go home."

"THANK you." I almost want to hug the woman, but I don't. I rush back over to the table and close all the boxes.

"Paul. You can stay down here and watch the game if you want. I'm bringing him up to a room to sleep for a few hours. That lady is gonna stay till midnight for him."

Paul looks at me, at first ready to say no, but then sees James sleeping like a little child at the table. He glances between James and me and then gives in. "Fine. What room? I will go up when this is over." 

"204. I'll text it to you, so you remember."

"Yeah, yeah yeah. I should be off duty by now anyway. Home. Sleeping."

I roll my eyes and focus on James. 

"Hey, Sleepyhead. C'mon, lets get you upstairs." I pull his arm and force him to sit up. He looks at me with disappointment that he has to wake up. "Cheryl is gonna stay till midnight. She got you a room to go sleep in until then."

"She did??" James wakes up more and looks over to Cheryl who nods and gives him a thumbs up. "Oh, thank God."  He slowly gets up and I throw his arm over my shoulder and get him to the room.

Once inside the hotel room he immediately kicks off his shoes. Without caring that I'm in the room and right behind him, James groggily takes off his Marriott polo shirt, and his khaki pants, laying them neatly over the chair to not wrinkle his work clothes. My eyes widen. Not just from the fact he is very fit, which I already kind of knew. But he has this huge shaded cross tattoo that covers his entire back. I'm instantly turned on by this surprise and find myself staring at his back. He is literally ALL muscle. His shoulders and back are broad, and his biceps are huge but he's not overly bulky like some WWE wrestler. He's trim with each and every muscle defined right down to the V-cut on his abs.

James turns around and catches me checking him out, like he always does, and smirks. "You gonna just stand there or you want to come lay with me."

I freeze for a moment. I guess I didn't put much thought into this. I didn't think about if I was staying long or going back downstairs. Certainly didn't think about an invite to lay down with him.

"Banks. I'm tired. Make up your mind." He pulls down the covers and I put my phone and purse on the nightstand next to me and James takes my hand. I can't say I've actually laid in bed with someone before ever even kissing them. James lays down flat on his back with one arm behind his head and I lay down next to him, stiff as a board. He smirks at my awkwardness and pulls the covers over us. I turn to my side so I'm facing him, and he shuts off the light. Next thing I know, he pulls me in closer, so I have no choice but to rest my head on his chest, while his arm lazily lays around my body. 

I can't see much in the dark but can feel James settle in a little more and within minutes his breathing is heavier and he's asleep. He was so tired. 

 James's phone notifications go off and catch my eye. James doesn't budge, being in a deep sleep but I look over him and see a "Nate Hollan" text. Because I'm nosy, I reach over and grab James's phone. It's locked like I thought but I see most of the message before it disappears. Nate wants James to go to the intake meeting tomorrow morning at the Avalon. 

I have a feeling I know what that will be about. Production is on Nate for getting that Austin promo trip in soon. Which means he needs to figure out Julia and where she goes while we're away. The hope is James will be able to take her on those days, but I still think it shouldn't fall on him if he isn't going out with her anymore.

About ten minutes later I hear a knock on the door. Right. Paul. The soccer game is probably over. As much as I want to stay curled up against sleeping James, I slowly pull his heavy arm away and crawl out of the bed, pulling the blanket back up so it doesn't look like I was sleeping with him to Paul. I don't know why I care, but I do. I comb my fingers through my hair and open the door, putting my index finger up to my mouth to signal for Paul to be quiet.

"What's the plan, Trish. Are we sleeping here or going back to Nate's.  I'm tired." Paul leans against the doorway and looks over me to see James asleep.

"Yeah, we can go. I just gotta go to the front desk to have them phone in an alarm to wake James before midnight."

"You really care about him, dontcha?" Paul is getting comfortable with me...enough to have these conversations. After all these years. Who woulda thought.

"How can ya not? Look at him. He's James. He's like a little puppy.  He's always taking care of everyone else and has no one to take care of him." I look back at the man in the bed and cross my arms.

"Like Nate. You always find the ones that need taking care of. C'mon, lets go."

Maybe I do. I'm no fixer, that's for sure. But, like Nate... and James... I'm a caretaker at heart. I took care of mom, took care of Nate, and Dave...unfortunately... There's nothing wrong with James. Except for a broken heart. 

I want to be the one to take care of that too.

*****

*James*

The last thing I want to do after another long shift with only a few hours of sleep in my system is see Nate. But this meeting concerns Julia so, of course, I'm going to go. I've never been to the Avalon before.  I pull up to the gates to see reporters filming live for the news because Julia is in there and the potential to see "The magnificent millionaire Nate Hollan". What a waste of their time. He's just a person. He yells and swears and shits just like everyone else. I don't get the infatuation. Because he's good looking and can sing? That's all it takes to make a name for yourself? I feel bad for Julia because she is trying to better herself and didn't ask for this attention. Thanks to Nate, her life is put on display.

I ignore the reporters and drive up to the booth to the left of the gate. A security guard takes my license, looks through the computer and finds my name on it for a meeting this morning. He opens the gate, and I drive down a windy road with trees on each side. They really keep this place hidden. And for good reason. I know a lot of celebrities come here for treatment. the Avalon is well known. Only the rich can afford this place. The richest of the rich, actually. In that sense, I'm glad Julia is taking advantage of this opportunity. You get what you pay for, and people get treated really well here. The staff is the best of the best around the country.

The receptionist at the front desk brings me down a few hallways to the psychiatrist wing. Multiple doors with doctors names and level of degree placed for all to see. I suddenly feel less than, wearing my stupid Marriott polo shirt and khaki pants. No one like me could afford this place. Not a chance. But I didn't have time to go home and change after work since Nate scheduled the meeting right at 8am.

"Dr. Donovan."  The friendly looking man stands up from behind the desk and walks towards me with a what feels like a genuine smile. He puts his hand out and I shake it before sitting down next to Hollan. I feel like I'm in the principal's office for lighting a cigarette in the school bathroom or something.

I was NOT expecting Dr. Donovan to look the way he does. He's probably a little younger than me, tall, very fit and looks like he should be an actor on a soap opera. Not a real doctor. His teeth are perfect. Those expensive veneers I bet. He wears glasses but He makes wearing glasses look good. He doesn't wear a doctor's coat with his name embroidered on the  side, but does wear a button down light blue dress shirt, dress pants and a tie. I happen to glance down to see he's wearing sneakers instead of men's dress shoes. Yeah, he's young. young and trying to fit in with the brains he has I bet.

I don't bother making eye contact with Nate. Whatever this meeting is, it's about Julia not him. And I really want to get this done and over with so I can go home and sleep.

"Ok, guys. Lets talk.  Julia has told me a little bit of the history between the three of you. I get it. there's a lot going on here."  The dr. talks normal like we are buddies in a bar, not like a doctor. "It sounds like you both have strong feelings for Julia and she has strong feelings for you both."

Both me and Nate nod while keeping our eyes on the doctor.

"Nate, I gotta hand it to you." The doctor turns to Hollan. "Knowing Julia still has feeling for James, yet still  asking him to be a major fixture in her life is commendable." He then turns to me. "And I know how hard it must be to remain such good friends with Julia and be here for her when she's with Nate. I give you two both credit. It sounds like you both just want what's best for Julia. So Nate... You scheduled this meeting. Tell me what you want to gain from it."

 Nate shifts in his chair a little. "You know what I do for a living.."

Oh here we go..

"I'll be traveling a lot, sooner than I thought." Nate looks at me now while talking. "I thought it would be a good idea to schedule this meeting to make sure there's a plan put in place before I travel so Julia knows what to expect. We all know right now she can't live on her own.  She needs someone to make sure she checks in to the Avalon every day, take her medications,  fill out the attendance forms every day on how she did the night before..eating , her moods. All that shit."

This guy can't go two minutes without swearing, can he? Even in a doctor's office. I know where he's going with this and have to wonder if the only reason he reached out to me to be in Julia's life was for his own good, not hers. To have someone to babysit her while he's gone. He doesn't REALLY want me in her life the way she does. He just wants me in her life to cover himself while he's away.

"Is this something you could step in a do, James? I know Julia said originally you needed space to move on from her. She mentioned being  just friends is hard... for both of you." I feel Nate shift in his seat again hearing that.

"To be honest? I'm not sure I can be the one to be counted on. Aside from having a full time job, and helping my sisters take care of my mother who has dementia, I still  have feelings for Julia. More than just friends. Nate I'm surprised you would put me...and her in that position." 

"It's only while I'm away."

"You're gonna be a way a lot."

"James.  I'm asking for your help."

"You're putting me in an awful position. I know you could care less about my feelings but care about Julia's. She's already struggling. Having me around like that is making it worse. Do you know how hard it is to NOT want to be with her every time I see her? I can't move on and still be in her life the way you need me to."

We have a little stare down for a moment before the doctor talks.

"So Nate, You're asking James to take over being you while you're gone...without the emotional part. You're looking for a caregiver more than anything."

"No, she trusts James. She's comfortable with him. I'm asking this because I want to make sure she is ok while I'm gone. Not just take care of her basic needs. You know how her moods fluctuate."

"Ok. And James... You're saying, it's too difficult to be relied on, not only because of our own life and responsibilities with your job and family, but because you think things will go too far if you and Julia are together for a long period of time. Am I right?"

"I KNOW they will go too far. Julia has no self control, and I'm never gonna stop loving her or trying to win her over. Sorry, Hollan. She should be with me. She made the wrong choice." I say bluntly. Nate needs to hear this. If I can't walk away from Julia and move on  then I'm gonna stay and fight for her.

There's a knock on the door and a nurse comes in. "Sorry, to interrupt. Here's your daily intake files." The doctor nods as she puts patients files on his desk and quickly leaves. She forgets to shut the door but no one seems to care so I  stay seated.

"I really need your help, James." Nate says again.

"Listen, I get what you're saying ok? I'm trying to be helpful. Really I am. It's really hard to be around her without wanting to be with her." 

"Understandable, sir." Dr. Donovan replies.

Nate sees this meeting is not going the way he'd like it and is starting to get frustrated. He can't possibly think this would be the right thing to do. Leave her in my care and expect me not to want to be with her. I love her.

"No. Fuck that. I don't need your reasons, James. I need you to step up."

"Step up? To benefit you and only you, Nate. You're not thinking about Julia right now. All I ever do is step up. For once, stop thinking about yourself.  Julia doesn't need any more confusion. And that's what's gonna happen."

"You've got to be kidding me, Gallo. What she needs is her fucking friend. Help out a little."

I rub my forehead with my hand and let out a sigh.

"We gotta stop pretending this is normal, Nate. You... me...what we're trying to accomplish here. It's not normal. It's one side. And I'm trying to be ok with it. I'm trying to put my feelings aside and help her. But you can't expect me to pick up the slack when you're away. To take another leave from work so my life revolves around yours. To be with her every night while your on tour and be expected to reel in what I feel for her. I'll never look at her as just my friend. You damn well know I love her. This is an impossible situation." I throw my hand up in frustration and look to the doctor for help with this topic. He must see what I'm trying to say here.

"Ok. Guys, lets take a breather. I understand both sides here. It's a lot to take in but I see where both of you are coming from. The one good thing is, if you can't agree on what to do, Julia can stay at The Avalon overnights while you're away."

"Yeah, I need to go home and sleep. I just got done with a 19 hour straight shift after having only 4 hours off before that. I haven't slept in over two days." I stand up. They both can see I'm exhausted and this meeting has accomplished nothing.

"Sorry, mate. I had no idea. I would have scheduled this another time." Nate drops his shoulders a little.

"We can end here. Nate, if you could stay a few extra minutes to go over the weekend itinerary.. James, you're free to go. Go home, get some rest. I say nothing more and leave the room. I can't believe Nate is putting me in this position. I feel like the bad guy for saying no. I know my limits. I'm doing this for Julia. I'm trying to do what's best for her. Not Nate.

I walk out to the hall and the first thing I see when I look down the hallway to my left is Julia and some other girl sitting down. Shit. Did she hear this whole meeting? Julia stands up and I  head her way.

The first thing I do, out of habit, is hug her. I feel her arms tighten around me and I kiss the top of her head.

"What's going on?"

"I'm trying, Julia. I'm trying real hard here." I pause. I know she had to have heard some of the meeting from here. "I'm trying to be just friends. But you're boyfriend over there wants me to put my entire life on hold so he can pursue his... and still expect me to be with you and put my own feelings on the backburner. Selfish asshole." I say tiredly.

"I don't expect you to stop your life, James. Not because of me. I'm not worth the hassle."

"You are. That's the problem. I WANT the hassle. But Julia, I want all of the hassle. All of you. Not just when he needs me to pick up the slack. God, the whole reason I tried to distance myself from you before was because it's so hard. You know this."

Julia pulls away and looks up at me now.

"I know. I'm sorry. None of this should fall on you."

I lean in close to her ear so she's the only one that can hear me.

"I'm always gonna love you, babe. I can't control that part." I whisper in her ear. "I'm trying."

I close my eyes and rest my forehead on hers. I feel her fingers thread through my hair before dropping them down to the nape of my neck. I open my eyes and look down at her lips. See, this right here is what I'm talking about. I want to kiss her. Right here and now. Julia opens her eyes and takes a breath before looking up at me.

"Go home and sleep, ok? I'll text you when I get out of this prison?"

"Prison. Ain't that the truth." The teenager sitting in the chair says with an accent. I look over at her.  She's a beautiful girl with bright blue eyes just like...

"Holy shit. Is that his sister?"  Shit. She IS Nate's little sister. She looks just like him.

"Why, holy shit.. I do believe it is. Would ya look at that." The girl says  with sarcasm.

"God, she acts just like him." I pry my eyes off her and focus back on Julia. "I'll touch base with you later. Just do whatever they tell you so you can leave this place at 3:30." I kiss her forehead and brush past her around the corner to the exit.  I can't be around her long without wanting to kiss her or hold her. 

There's no way I can be with her overnight without making a move.

*****

*Trisha*

I open my laptop and then my email and the first thing I see is Richard emailing on when I'm gonna book Nate's Austin trip. the man sees dollar bills, not human beings and wants that trip scheduled asap.  I wonder how the meeting went at the Avalon. I don't know how I feel about it. Part of me wants James to participate in helping with Julia so Nate doesn't have to worry while we're away and another part of me feels bad for James and thinks he shouldn't have to deal with such a burden when he's trying to move on. She chose Nate. Not James. He's not the winner here, yet Nate wants him to still tag along just to break his heart more.

I sit in the studio ready to get some work done while Paul drinks his coffee on the couch and babysits me.

"Here we go." I look at my phone on the table when I see it's Nate calling me. Before I can even sat "Hello" he starts talking.

"Yeah that plan was shit, Trisha." I close my eyes and let out a sigh. Unsure if it's a sigh of relief for James that he said no, but it's a sigh.

"Well, Richard wants that Austin trip. So if James can't do it then keep her at the Avalon. Paul and Jonah will be with me and you."

"I know, I know. Thanks for the reminder, captain obvious." Nate hangs up on me. Jerk.

She's already at the Avalon. Why can't she just sleep there? I don't get the problem here. It's certainly not about money. I know Nate wants her to be comfortable but what are the options here. 

"I have a feeling Nate's gonna be in rare form today, Paulie." I look over to the man on the couch. I've come to enjoy his company a little more now that he actually converses with me.

"Why is that?"

"James said no to taking care of Julia while we're all away." I tap my pen in between my fingers on the notepad out of habit, making an annoying tapping noise.

"Can you blame him? I wouldn't want that job." Paul sips his coffee. "Nate is asking too much out of the man. Bad enough he didn't win the battle, now Nate wants to drag him through the dirt on his way up?"

"I don't understand why he just doesn't have her stay at the Avalon while we travel. He has no problem keeping Cara there." The minute I blurt that out I feel bad for saying it. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Why, it's true. There's no way any of us could take care of Cara. You saw how she was." Paul knows all about Nate's sister. Paul has been with us since we were teenagers. and watched Nate struggle with not only his mother's addiction but his little sister's addiction and mental health.

"I bet he's going home to sulk now. I should go check on him." I close my laptop and Paul shakes his head at me, gulping down the last of his coffee now that we're on the move again. Caregiver or not, I don't care. I'm gonna be there for Nate. And James. God I sound like Julia now. How did I make it into this triangle?!

*****

*James*

 Lindsay has Maggie so the first thing I do when I get home from work is put the food Al packed up for me in the fridge and go to bed.

But now I can't fucking sleep.  Instead I toss and turn and think about this morning's meeting.

Did I do the right thing by Julia? No one wants to see her at the Avalon. Especially full time when Nate travels. I get it his job is important but how is it more important than his girlfriend. Hell, I'd go on another leave of absence to take care of her if I had the funds, why can't he just wait till she's better and out of there before he goes back to promoting his album? 

Or does he not think she is gonna get better?

Is this it? Like his sister? Does Nate not see this as a temporary thing for Julia like she does?

Shit.

*****

*Trisha*

We enter Nate's apartment, and I can already hear Nate giving Jonah a hard time in his room.

"Fuck off." Both me and Paul hear Nate say to the nurse and we both roll our eyes. This is not gonna be a good Nate Hollan day, is it?

"Why are you so moody today? Did something happen?" I hear  Jonah.

"Does fuck off to me mean speak to you, Jonah?"

"Nate. Talk."

I drop my purse and phone on the counter and let out a sigh before heading into Nate's bedroom. The black out curtains are closed and Nate is in bed with the pillow over his head, Jonah is sitting on the recliner trying to talk to his patient.

"Oh no you don't. We're not doing this today." I walk in and open the curtains, letting the sun in and hearing Nate groan in protest.

"Trish. Find something to do." He says from under the pillow. Jonah stays silent and watches me.

"I AM finding something to do. C'mon. Get up. You're not laying in bed all day just because things didn't fucking go your way, Nate. Grow up." I tug at the covers but he has them pulled tight under his armpit. He really is such a child sometimes.

I kick off my shoes and look at the nurse.

"Jonah, you can go. I've got this." I say and wait for Jonah to get up and leave before trying to pull the covers away from Nate again. He won't budge.

"Fine." I let go of the blanket and get on his bed instead. I sit on my knees and pull the pillow away from Nate, forcing him to flip over and look at me, knowing I'm not going away. I tuck his hair away from his forehead and look down at the sad man.

"She's not going to the Avalon full time Trish. Bad enough she's there now." He gives in and talks to me.

"It may be our only choice, sweetie. She can't come with us." I drop down and lay next to him on my side and study his face. His eyes are so sad. I feel bad that things didn't go his way, like he had hoped. But the reality is...The Avalon is the only option.

"I know. I hate it. Cara's never gonna get out and I have a feeling the same will be true for Julia."

"You don't know that. It has only been a week, Nate. She may benefit from the full time care while you're gone and maybe it will get her outta there quicker."

"I think she heard some of the meeting too. She definitely knows James was involved because she was sitting out in the hall with my sister when I came out."

"With your sister?" The Avalon is huge. I'm surprised they'd even bump into each other never mind sit together.

"Yeah. The doctor put them in a lot of sessions together. They think it will help them both."

"How so?" I continue to play with his hair while we talk.

"Julia lost her kid at Cara's age and Cara doesn't have a mother figure. Rita sure as hell was never a mom to us." He huffs and I nod.

"She sure wasn't." I pause and drop my hand away from his hair and rest it on his bare chest. I don't know why I did that. Force of habit maybe, but it will be weird if I suddenly move it away awkwardly. So I leave my hand there.  Nate puts his hand over mine and I can feel his heart beating. That's the only thing that matters to me. That this man's heart keeps beating. 

The stress of Julia prevents it from healing the way it needs to heal. And I can't let that happen.