*James*

I have no idea what's going on. There's so much commotion all around me. But I see Julia and feel relieved. She is happy. She is ok.

Actually, everyone is happy.

"Let's leave the IV and catheter in for now and start slow." A doctor smiles at me, then turns to Nate. "If you'd like to keep him here for a few days for more monitoring, you can.."

Keep me here? Why would they want to keep me here? Isn't this a hospital? I'm fine. Nothing is making sense to me. 

"No...no. We'd like to take him home as soon as possible. Today." Nate responds and looks at Julia. All I can think about is her voice. What was said to me. She talked to me. A lot. I remember that much. She told me things. She told me awful things. Oh my God, I remember.

"Very well... then I will get his discharge papers going and print out his follow-up appointments. Congratulations, Mr. Gallo. You're a free man. Now get outta here." The doctor says, and I nod. I'm not sure why I'm even here, but hearing I can leave and go home is good news. Julia kisses all over my face happily, and I close my eyes and smile. She's ok, right? She seems ok. Right? 

There's so much to say. There is so much to ask. The words just won't come out. Everything is so overwhelming, but I keep ticking my chin towards Julia and furrowing my brows to get her attention. You're ok, right?? Babe, let me know you're ok. The things you told me....the things that happened to you...

"I'm ok." Julia says between tears, and I nod.  She knows what I'm trying to ask. I keep nodding. She's ok.  I can feel my tears building up in my eyes.

"I'm ok.." Julia says again and wraps her arms around me again. "I love you so much." She holds on to my face with both hands. I nod and begin to cry, putting my head down on her shoulder while hugging her. She's ok. Thank God. He hurt her so badly. I remember her telling me everything. She trusted him. 

The room quickly fills up with my family. All my sisters but Katie, but I need to be with Julia.

 She's in a wheelchair. She's hurt. I remember. It's all my fault. The red light. The collision. Seeing Julia's face right before I... oh my God.  

I should be with her.

I try to keep up with my sisters conversations, but in the back of my head, all I keep thinking of is what I've done. I hurt people. I was too tired to be behind the wheel. Julia's in that wheelchair because of me.

Eventually, the girls leave. Julia and some other girl get me dressed. Apparently, I have no clothes, so I am leaving this place in scrubs. I try to help as much as I can, but my body doesn't seem to want to cooperate with me, and it's pretty damn frustrating. And why the hell can't I speak?? I can hear and see just fine. Why can't I talk? There's so many things I need to ask. There are so many things I need to say.

The other girl. She's a nurse. Casey. She's coming home with me. Her and Julia explain that I'm going to be living with Nate Hollan for a while? Because I need to be cared for now? What about my house? What about my dog?

"James, I've never met you with your eyes open. You have beautiful eyes." Casey compliments me, and I smile at the friendly nurse. "Do you want to try eating a little before we go?"

I don't understand what she means, so I look to Julia. She'll know. I recognize most of the people in the room. I remember Jonah. Nate's nurse. Is he my nurse now, too? He hands the other nurse a cup off Jell-o, and she puts the spoon in my hand. I know what to do, I can't seem to do it. I look at Julia. She'll help me. She'll know what to do.

"Maybe he wants you to do it and not me?"

I nod. They get it. Julia laughs.

"Oh, I see how it is.." Julia puts a very little bit of orange jello on the spoon and hands it to me, but all I can do is look at it. Nothing is happening. It's like my brain and my body don't want to work together.  "Huh.."

"It'll take time." Casey assures her.

Julia begins to feed me  the jello,  and I nod, letting her know I can eat just fine. It's just getting things to my mouth, which isn't working. God, am I going to be like this forever??

"I'll put an order in for soft foods for him." I hear Trisha say. She's here. My friend. Oh God. Wait. How did we even leave things? We kissed. We practically made out. I don't know if that was a mistake or what the hell that was. It's always been Julia. Always.

While I am eating, Jonah puts the blood pressure cuff on me.

"Looks good, James."

Then. I see him. That asshole is coming in here? He hurt her! He's the one who raped her. Why the fuck is he here?

"Hey, pal. I heard you're awake."

I want to fucking beat him to shreds for what he's done to her. He hurt her so bad. SO bad. He's acting like he did nothing wrong. I glare at him and feel my blood start to boil. I swipe the food tray away and try to lunge at him but everyone stops me. Why the hell are they stopping me. Don't they know what he did to Julia? How he raped her? How he hurt her? How he fucking threatened her? She told me everything. Why would he even be here. He should be locked up in a prison somewhere. 

"Whoa!! Hold on!!" Jonah says, and Casey holds me back. Julia takes my face in her hands. She whispers.

"I know. I'm ok. We can't let him know you know. I'm ok. James." She whispers in my ear but I continue to glare at her rapist. The doctor she trusted. 

Jeremy is glaring at Julia. She begins to shake. She's scared of him. He knows I know. That bastard threatened her and now she's terrified of him. I'm gonna kill that piece of shit for what he did to her.

"Sometimes their emotions are all over the place when they first come out of a coma." Jeremy explains but stares at Julia without blinking. "Once he's settled at home, he will start to calm down." 

Bullshit. My emotions are right where they need to be you disgusting sonofabitch.

"Well, until then, maybe you should step outside." Casey comments. Good. Get that asshole out of here.

"Of course." He nods and smiles at me. He has the nerve to fucking smile at me and I want throw him out off a twenty story building right now and he is smiling at me?. "Casey, can we go over some of the discharge papers for Julia in the hall then? Her meds for tonight so on and so forth."

Casey follows the doctor out, closing the door behind her.

"Jesus. He doesn't like Dr. Donovan, that's for sure!" Trisha says. 

Julia puts both her hands on my face and stares at me

"I'm ok." She nods but I shake my head. He hurt you. How are you ok? He physically hurt you! Nothing about this is ok.

"I'm ok...Look at me. I'm ok, James." She closes her eyes and rests her forehead on mine. I put my hands on her face and close my eyes. I'm so sorry, Julia. I should have helped you. I should have been there. Babe, I'm so sorry.

"He knows.." Nate whispers to Julia and she nods. "He understood." Of course I understood. I back away and tuck her hair behind her ears and shake my head, feeling the tears sting my eyes. He raped her. She's already had to endure so much and he came in and raped her.

"I'm ok." She repeats but begins to cry and her body trembles. You're not ok.. God. This is awful, Julia. 

"His blood pressure is stabilizing now." Jonah takes the cuff off.

"This is perfect." Julia says out loud and look at Nate and Jonah.

"Perfect?" Nate asks confused.

"Yes! Perfect! This is how I get out of it! I can say we need to give it a few days before Jeremy comes to the house because of the way James reacted. Then never give him your address. Completely fucking ghost the bastard!" 

He was going to go to the house? He was still going to be her doctor? What the hell is happening?

******

*Trisha*

What the hell is happening?? Why would Julia want to get rid of her doctor? He's the best of the best. She's out of her mind.

"Jules" Nate tics his head behind Julia and  Both me and Paul share the same confused look. "They don't know."

"Home. Tell em when we are out of here."

"Why wouldn't you ...why would you ghost him? I don't get it." I ask.

"We can't say in here. Trisha, I will tell you everything when we are home. Ok? But you can't say anything in here."

"But.."

"Trisha. Nothing. Don't even bring it up. I'm serious." Nate raises his eyebrows, and I understand. "Go see if security is ready to escort us out...please."

I leave the room and Paul follows. We share a look but neither of us say one word about it. There's a reason Nate said to stay silent. Neither of us are sure why but there are way too many people here and we know to not say a word about it.

"Will. Are we all set for the exit? I need to know all exits are guarded. We don't need any fans...or reporters doing anything stupid." Paul talks to the other bodyguard for a few moments making sure everything is perfect for  when we leave. One thing Paul is.. is an excellent bodyguard. He knows exactly what to do and the team respects him and takes orders from him without a second thought. His reputation for being the best of the best is all because of his years of experience. Will follows Paul and I back into the room to talk to Nate and reassure him it is safe to leave now.

"Sir.." Will gets Nate's attention. "All exits have fans and reporters. How do you want to do this?"

"Fine. They want a story? We'll give them something to write about. How this man survived and woke up from his coma. Go out the front. Is that ok, James?"

Wait, what?

"You sure Nate?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Yep. It's positive news. Let em talk."

I notice James furrows his brows for a moment when Nate kisses the top of Julia's head. Ok. So I guess that answers my question on where we stand. I wasn't really sure how I felt either way. I mean, I like him. But kissing him seems like it was a lifetime ago. So much has happened. And the way he is glaring at Nate currently makes it known James is still very much in love with Julia.

 Jonah pushes his wheelchair and Nate pushes Julia's. We all walk out together.

What we didn't know was the minute we opened the suite doors, all the nurses and doctors were lined up on each side of the hall, cheering and clapping their hands. They cheered the moment they saw James and continued even while we went into the elevator. And when we reached the lobby floor... the same thing greeted us. Nurses and doctors, all the staff, lined up, clapping their hands and cheering for James.

James looks around at all the unfamiliar faces, and at first, I think all of it may be too much. But then he grins and holds Julia's hand which I think is so sweet of him. He's still sweet James in there somewhere.

The transportation ambulance is waiting out front, and the amount of people that filled the area, once for Nate, now for James, was enormous.

The moment the elevators open for Nate's apartment, Julia, Nate and Casey all have a shocked look on their faces. Casey just because she's never seen an apartment as big as Nate's

"Holy SHIT!" Casey exclaimed, and Nate laughs. I think he gets this reaction with everyone who sees his apartment for the first time. I tend to forget who Nate is sometimes.

"THIS is where you live?!?" She turns to Nate, who rolls his eyes. "I'm in Nate Hollan's home. This... this is where Nate Hollan lives." She teases but at the same time is a little serious. "Sorry, I'm fangirling here. Give me a minute."

I look over at Nate to see his reaction. It took a lot of last minute planning and effort to get things done in time for their discharge and I find myself holding my breath in hopes he likes what I've done.

"I went a little above you." I smirk at Nate. "He needed real walls." And he did. I had an entire room sectioned off and the construction team came in with sheetrock, or drywall, to  make the room perfect for James.

"Wow. It looks amazing, Trish." Nate's eyes are wide.  Oh thank God. I tried to make it look like the  drywall has always been here. That the bedroom was built with the building. even had it painted the exact same color and hung up some new artwork to bring out the dining room area a little more. Nothing was cheap but it's James. He deserves a real room. And Nate deserves his apartment looking perfect for his return. Nate and Jonah wheel James and Julia past the main living area and I follow behind, taking in their reaction.

"Look! This is your room, James." I hurry past them and slide open the large wooden to show how I tried to make his room look like a resort for him. A perfect hotel room for him to recover in.

"I stole Kendall to help me a little, hence your comforter and clothes." I admit. Hey, if Kendall couldn't bring herself to go visit him, at least she was willing to help me grab some of his belongings for him,

The wood floor has a big fluffy carpet. James's bed is all the way over to the right, with two matching black nightstands with matching red lamps. His dark red comforter is neatly on top. His favorite color.

A basket on one of the tables with all of James's vitamins. There's this huge television mounted in the right-hand corner.

Across from the hospital bed is a small black leather recliner.

A black dresser and then on the side we are all on is a living room type area. A small black leather couch with matching chairs and a red rug on top of the massive grey rug to separate the two areas. Artwork that was in James's den, hang on the walls.

There's even a small black minifridge in the corner with a built-in shelf on top that I put three matching red trays with granola bars and snacks neatly displayed. I tried to think of everything for him to make him feel comfortable here.

"Wow... Trisha, you did this?" Julia looks up at me and I nod. I think everyone likes what I've done.

James looks at the room, confused.

"This is where you can recover. With all of us." I smile. "Well, everyone but me and Paul, but you know what I mean."

I feel a little left out of the group now. Especially with what seems like some kind of secret everyone knows about except me and Paul. 

"It's perfect, right, James?" Julia nods, but James looks around and blinks. "Maybe it's confusing because he sees some of his things in here but knows it's not his house."

"Oh, right. There's one more thing that I pulled off VERY last minute. Like, today -last minute. Sorry, Nate. This has to happen." He's going to be SO fucking pissed at me but this is an important one for James's recovery

I walk over to Jonah's room, excited but nervous. "I made a phone call and had something delivered to you, James. Nate...don't worry. I'll explain."

I open the door and Maggie, James's do runs out to greet her owner. Lindsay, his ex-girlfriend comes out with tears in her eyes.

"Trisha! I can't have a fucking dog in here! I'm allergic!" Nate glares at me.

"Ahh, but look." I point out 4 upscale air purifiers. One in the dining room. One in the living room and one in the hallway. "And the dog won't be allowed in your room or on the furniture. Remember, this is all temporary. But the man needs his dog."

Nate's shoulders drop, unable to fight with me over it. "Fine. Whatever." 

"Awww. Hey Maggie! We missed you!" Julia scrunches her face and tilts it so the dog only licks her cheek and James grins.

"Ok. I need to get back to work. Hi, I'm Lindsay. The ex, and partial owner of this cutie." Lindsay throws her hand out for Nate to shake and then kisses James on his forehead before needing to jet.

"And who the hell is gonna walk the thing. They sure can't." Nate shakes his head at James and Julia in their wheelchairs.

"We'll take turns. I love dogs!" Casey walks over and pets Maggie. I drag the pups big bed out of Jonah's room and in to James's room and Nate sighs. He lost this battle.

I hear Casey whisper to Julia while leaning down to pet the dog.

"Jeremy told me to tell you to call him tonight once you get settled to go over the next steps.... His number is on the discharge sheet."

The color drains from Julia's face.

"Ok. Can you all let me in on this big secret about Dr. Donovan??" I ask, now that we are out of the hospital.

"Casey. How about we get James and Julia set up while Nate updates them." Jonah wheels Julia into James's room, and Nate signals for me and Paul to follow him into his bedroom. He closes the door behind him and we take the two chairs near the window while Nate begins to pace. Something's wrong. Really wrong.

"This conversion does NOT leave this flat. Trisha, I'm talking to you. I'm so fucking serious." Nate stops his pacing and drags his hands down his face before he says anything more. Whatever he has to say to us is difficult for him to spit out.

"Nate, what is it??"  I start to get impatient.

"He raped her." 

Both me and Paul sit up straight. I suddenly feel like I'm going to throw up. Flashbacks of my own rape fill my head now and I can't think straight.

"What did you just say??" I swallow hard and at the same time- Paul says "Holy shit."

"No, wait... Are you sure, Nate? I mean."  Jeremy raped her?? But- oh my GOD.

"Trisha. He raped her. Violently so she needed medical treatment. Last week in the middle of the night while she was in the restraints. Then he threatened her. And nothing can be done. No one can know."

"He... when she couldn't... wait. What?? No... I mean, maybe she thought that he-" I can't wrap my brain around this.

"TRISHA! Fucking listen to me! He fucking raped her while she was tied to the fucking bed. Ripped into her so she couldn't fucking sit for a week. Her wrists and ankles are raw from trying to get out of the restraints, not because she was having a meltdown!" Nate yells and covers his face.

Oh my god.

 Paul is the one to stand up and pat Nate's shoulder a few times to calm him. I feel my body begin to shake and I can't hold it in.

"Nate. How is he still working in the hospital?" Paul pushes Nate's shoulder so he is  forced to sit down on the bed and calm down little.

"Julia can't say anything. First he threatened to keep her in the restraints longer if she told anyone. Then he threatened to fuck with her charts. Make it like she's insane and needs to be put in a facility. He's got pull, Paul. He's from a long line of well known doctors in the family. We have no evidence because before anyone knew what happened, a nurse gave Julia a shower and her bloody sheets were changed."

"Her bloody- oh my God!" I cover my mouth with my hand.

"It's his word against Julia's. A psychiatric patient against a well known doctor that can talk his way out of anything."

"That is true. I saw it first hand the way he lied to the judge to get my restraining order. He completely stretched the truth and was very convincing." I blurt out.

"Yeah, well we have no evidence to back Julia up on this. We tried to wait and see if it would happen again so we could catch him in the act or something, but I fucked up. I chickened out."

"What do you mean, chickened out??" Paul asks.

"He thought I was sleeping. He pulled the partition over and was about to do it again but I couldn't. I had to stop him before anything started. I couldn't put Julia through that again. She's been a mess." Tears flood his eyes just thinking about it.

"He tried to do it AGAIN?! Oh my God!" I cry out. Dr. Donovan. Jeremy. Oh my God.

"No one can know. He will ruin Julia's life. Do you understand? NO ONE can know. Julia has a few appointments with new doctors next week but even still, she can't tell them what happened to her. We just needed to get her out of that hospital. We've all been taking turns staying up in the middle of the night in case something happens." 

"Which brings me to my next issue. Paul. I need you back. I need you to be Julia's bodyguard when I need you to. You don't have to live here. Hell you can stay at Trisha's and watch over her until I contact you. But when I contact you, Will will need to take over and you will need to be Julia's shadow."

"Of course."

"Nate, I don't need a bodyguard."

"You do. Paul, stay with her and when Julia needs to go to a doctor appointment or anything like that, I will call you. You'll get paid double because you will be with two clients."

"You don't have to pay me double." Paul shakes his head.

Then I remember something. Shit. SHIT!

"Wait a second." I stand up quick, "I have an appointment with him. Tomorrow."

"WHAT?!" Both Paul and  Nate say in unison.

" I... shit... I needed a therapist to help me get over some shit. The accident and driving and stuff. He said he would be my therapist. Oh my God, Nate. He said he could even come to my house for sessions!" I begin to panic.

"You didn't give him your address did you????"

******

*James*

Jonah grabs two chairs from the dining room and brings them in to "my room". He sets one up right next to my bed and the other he leaves off to the side. "I'm sure you're gonna get plenty of visitors with all those sisters of yours." He smiles at me while Casey gets my IVs and catheter bag hooked back up.

"Once we know you can walk and hold your bladder, we'll get rid of this one." She points to a bag. "And once we know you can hold down food and drinks, we'll get rid of this." She points to the IV pole.  I look at her not quite understanding why she is telling me this. I can't even take a piss on my own? Is that how bad things are?

Julia wheels herself over to me and holds my hand. She put her cheek up against my hand and closes her eyes. I remember this. She would do this all the time. Sometimes not even talk when she visited me but I knew it was her when she did this. It calms me down a little more. I may not know what the hell is going on but she's here. She's here and she's with me. That's all I care about.

"You're finally awake." She begins to cry against my hand. Another thing she has done multiple times. She cried a lot. I remove my hand from her face and furrow my brows at her. She's so sad. This is all too much for her and I hate that I can't talk to her. It's frustrating. But she needs me. I tick my chin up to her and push over to the other side of the bed, patting it to let her know I want her to come here. She'll feel better. She'll feel safe.

"Flirting already?" Casey laughs and helps Julia up on to the bed.  Once she's on I push back over and pull her arm so she's hugging me. Then pat my chest. She knows what I want. She inches over and rests her head on my chest. I wrap my arms around her and stroke her arm to comfort her while resting my chin on the top of her head like I always did. This makes me feel safe as well. We have each other.

"Better?" Julia smirks at me and closes her eyes. I nod at her. Better. So much better.

The doors slide open and Nate, Trisha and Paul enter the room. Both Trisha and Paul have a distraught look on their faces.

They know. Everyone knows what happened to Julia.

*****

*Trisha*

I know I haven't really been close to Julia but she needs to know it will be ok. Nobody was there to tell me everything would be ok and it was scary as fuck being alone in it. I couldn't ever bring myself to tell Nate. I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone.

I feel the urge and act on it. I walk over to the bed and wrap my arms around poor Julia. She stiffens up for obvious reasons.

"I'm SO sorry he did that to you. That bastard. If you ever need anything or want to talk... you can talk to me. I've been through-" Shit.

I stop short. "Just, know you can come to me. For anything."

Out of the corner of my eye I can see reactions on everyone's faces, including Nate's stunned look. Shit shit shit! Why did I say that for everyone to hear?

"Looks like I'm your shadow again..." Paul actually smiles at Julia. "Just when you need to go out. for appointments and such."

"Ok. We need hands. We have a lot of supplies that need to come back here. Trisha... Paul..."

Jonah leaves and we follow suit, happy to get out of that room.

Before we head out of the apartment Jonah stops short and turns around . He studies my face for a moment.

"What?" I raise an eyebrow.

"In there. You went through what Julia went through, didn't you? You were trying to let her know she wasn't alone.."

I feel a pit in my stomach just thinking about it.

"Just keep walking, Jonah. We have shit to do." I dismiss it and walk past both him and Paul even though I can feel their eyes on me the whole elevator ride down.

My head is filled with the memories. Poor Julia. It's an awful feeling. Brutally awful. Something I pushed in the back of my head for so long I never dealt with it properly. Now seeing her, the way she is right now, it brings everything back to me. 

And yet, I made excuses. I deserved it. I asked for it. I made so many fucking excuses. 

And yet, I still took him back.