If my anxiety took a day off,
Everything I ever wanted to do, I could.

I could talk to people
I could not be the third wheel
I could ask that question and not fear the answer
I could tell the absolute truth.

But it won't.
Leave I mean.

This monster hasn't taken a day off since it formed.
And that was long before I can ever remember.

I could speak before being spoken to
I could try to hold her hand
I could tell that one girl I loved her
And maybe take a nap in the sand.
Or anywhere that isn't specifically the left side of my bed.

I could walk with confidence that i have never known.
Hell, I could sit with confidence.
Without trying to find something to move.
Without fidgety sharp movements to cover up my shaking hands.

I could relax.
Take a day to myself
Paint a picture without fearing criticism
Write a song without being so wrapped up in the little things.

I could catch a ride on my train of thought
That wasn't surrounded by intrusive, invasive...
Oh no. I lost it again.

My point is,
If my anxiety took a day off,
I could actually live.