September 12th
6:45 pm

Dear You,

     I never said how much you truly meant to me. You made me smile when no one else could. You made me feel recognized because you spoke to me. You barely knew me, and yet you talked to me as an old friend. A part of me felt something more for you... no one had ever been that nice to me, so I had assumed you liked me. But that was just the person you were. Kind, warm, welcoming. You didn't deserve your fate.
     Ill never be able to tell you that a saxophone solo made me break down in tears because I would never be able to hear you play it. I'll never be able to tell you the story of how I found out you left this earth. As soon as I heard, i denied it. "No, this can't be true. It's not real. He's going to come back. He can't be gone." But you were gone. You are gone.
     I never said how many things you taught me. You taught me how to be kind, and happy. You taught me what it feels like to be respected. You taught me what it feels like when someone laughs at your jokes. I never said that you taught me how to live. I never said it because I didn't know it. And now you won't ever know. I never realized that someone's death could make you see what they really did to you. I never said much to you, but you spoke to me. You spoke to so many people by just being you.
     I never said any of this to you, and I'm sorry for that. Im sorry for not being able to tell you. Im sorry that I can never tell you all of these things. I'm sorry that you didn't receive the honesty you deserved. But most of all, I'm sorry you left so soon. I want you to come back. Please come back. I just want to laugh with you one more time. Talk to you one more time. See you one more time before you go. But I never will.

Sincerely,
Me

•••

Matthew LeMoyne
December 9th, 2002
September 12th, 2017